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Top 10 Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

kal-el

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10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."


3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

Source
 

jfuh

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kal-el said:
10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."


3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

Source

I'll add one more
* You believe you're holy book to be the literal truth of God.
 

kal-el

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Haha, yea Christians assert that God is omnipotent and omnibenevolent, but they place the blame on humananity's "free will" whenever something bad happens.:lol:

And they vehemently deny evolution when they firmly believe in a virgin birth, and talking donkey's.

And whenever I refer to Jesus as "the dead Jew" they throw a hissy fit, calling it ridicule, when they see no problem adulating a cross with a tortured, bloody, crying man on it.:lol:
 
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jfuh

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kal-el said:
Haha, yea Christians assert that God is omnipotent and omnibenevolent, but they place the blame on humananity's "free will" whenever something bad happens.:lol:

And they vehemently deny evolution when they firmly believe in a virgin birth, and talking donkey's.

And whenever I refer to Jesus as "the dead Jew" they throw a hissy fit, calling it ridicule, when they see no problem adulating a cross with a tortured, bloody, crying man on it.:lol:
The irony of the cross.
 

cnredd

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[Moderator Mode]

Moved to the Basement...

Meant to insult...

[/Moderator Mode]
 

aps

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Sir_Alec said:
:rofl That is funny but sadly true :rofl

Yup. It's fascinating to me how people believe certain things just because the Bible says so without ever questioning the rationale behind what the Bible says.
 

Deegan

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aps said:
Yup. It's fascinating to me how people believe certain things just because the Bible says so without ever questioning the rationale behind what the Bible says.

The bible, much like any other story, will change as it is passed from one person to another. Just like when you tell a friend some gossip, and when it finally gets back to you, and it's nothing like the original story you first told, this is what happened with most of the stories in the bible. I certainly don't take most of these stories literally, but I can read between the lines, and get from it, the original intent. Some do believe everything written in the bible, and live accordingly, and that's were they draw their faith, and they take comfort in that, it's certainly o.k by me. The point is, faith is what motivates much of my beliefs, and of course I sometimes question that, sometimes more then others, but in the end, it's my faith that returns me to the path of God.

Religion, in all of it's forms, has survived the questions, the concerns, and the condemnation, for thousands of years, I'm sure it will survive this thread as well.:2wave:
 

steen

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Deegan said:
Some do believe everything written in the bible, and live accordingly, and that's were they draw their faith, and they take comfort in that, it's certainly o.k by me.
The problem comes when they then seek to impose that unique belief on everybody else.
 

Kelzie

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Howbout "you never get laid"? :mrgreen:
 

kal-el

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Kelzie said:
Howbout "you never get laid"? :mrgreen:

Haha, yea that too, but maybe they'll meet someone who is delusional just like them in church.:lol: And they say that this "God" is personal, and that he has human qualities, and then they seem to disregard the little fact that these human qualities would place constraints on him. :lol:
 

cherokee

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As a non-believer, what I believe in doesn’t matter.


I do however believe in the right for anyone to practice any religion that is peaceful AND as long as they do not try to impose their beliefs on me or to infringe upon the rights of others.



I really don’t see much use for this thread ...:roll:
 
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cherokee said:
As a non-believer, what I believe in doesn’t matter.


I do however believe in the right for anyone to practice any religion that is peaceful AND as long as they do not try to impose their beliefs on me or to infringe upon the rights of others.



I really don’t see much use for this thread ...:roll:

I'm pretty sure that the point was to lampoon the Christian beliefs that permeate our culture like briny salt water that seeps into practically every facet of society and ****s with its homeostasis. Think of this thread as a bit of active transport to expunge the salty hypocrisy of the Christian beliefs that are being imposed on and infringing upon the rights of others.
 
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