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The Fourth Reich


Jan 20, 2006
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I take a look at Europe and see horendous unemployment, senior citizens in Paris
cooking to death in un-airconditioned hovels, declining production, shrinking
economies, France setting itself on fire, Terrorists blowing up London subways, and
some clown trying to set his shoes on fire on a BOAC flight, and I think: Somebody
has to do something to help these poor people. Of course I have a plan to bring
prosperity to Europe. It's up to America to create the Fourth Reich.

Let's face it. The only time Europe functions is when it's at war. Under the Kaiser
Germans were happy as hogs in **** killing Bosch and picking the flower of English
youth on the field at Flanders. No unemployment since everybody was in Uniform. The
French were happy waiving the Tricolor in mud filled trenches. The Rothschilds made
millions selling howitzers to both sides. The Flemish were delightfully schitzoid
trying to decide if they were French or German, the Italians were noble in their
attempt to choose sides without choosing and we even had the Austrians and Spainish
looking at their bloodlines to decide which side to join. True, the Czar came out on
the short side of the Commie stick, but other than that everyone was happy -- until
we Yankees came into the fight and put an end to it pronto.

In the 30's and early 40's the Third Reich gave the French the perfect excuse to sit
and drink during the Sitzkrieg of 1939-40, gave the Brits a perfect excuse to keep a
stiff upper lip, entertained the Italians with temporary dreams of another Roman
Empire and employed whole divisions of diplomats to negotiate failed international
relations. No unemployment, lots of slap and tickle at the Nazi breeding farms,
plenty of pomp and splendor at Nuremburg, and a whole load of strutting and sabre
rattling and talk of honor and country. Of course, we Yankees screwed that up for
them. Let's face it, America. We owe the Euros. Big Time.

Now lets get serious about atoning for our sins of the past. The first thing we need
to do for our Euro Cousins is get them back into a really good war. It will
galvanize Euro Nationalism. They still have fond feelings for Royalty, you know.
What better way to make a Limey happy than to give him a chance to fall on his sword
for King and Country? How better to please a Frog than to give him a chance to shout
"Vive la France!" before he does some really stupid, self defeating and pointless
act of self sacrifice? What more could we do to please an Itallian than to create an
opportunity for the little guy to cross himself before martydom to save the Vatican?
The Spainish are a little hard to figure. In 1936 they fought a Civil War to decide
whether to have a king or a dictator. The rest of the continent had that fight
finished by the end of the 19th Centruy. Eventurally the Spanish needed the help of
the Nazi's and the Americans fighting on behalf of the Dictator and the King,
respectively, to fight to a draw. The Spanish have a lot of disabilities. We'll have
to work with them.

Now if the Euros are left to their own devices to get a war going, you know they're
going to screw it up. They botched democracy, they botched Facism, Communism,
Socialism, Capitalism, Oligopoly, Theocracy, and Devine Right of Kings before they
screwed the pooch with Unionism, pluralism, naturism and anarchy. They've tried
every system and botched everything they've tried. They need our help.

Let's take a fond look back at what has worked for Euros in the past. There's only
one thing in all of history that has really made Europe a going deal: The American
Revolution. Think about it. The English hired the Germans to fight for them. They
were called Hessians. We Americans were much more cleaver. We had the French fight
for us for nothing. Remember Layfayette? We even talked Germans into fighting for us
for free. Remember Von Stuben? We'll let's remember history and replicate what

The first thing we do is create 8 German Divisions, 3 French Divisions, 2 British
Divisions (the Brits will have the Canadians fill out one division and the New
Zelanders and Aussie's split the second Division under Brit Commanders) and one
"Euro" Division comprised of 1/3 Spainish, 1/3 Italian, and 1/3 Scandanavian Troops
under the command of a Swiss General -- talk about dysfunctional! We have
immediately eliminated unemployment in Europe.

Our next step is to employ all Euro Divisions as paid mercenaries. Who is the
employer? Why, we Americans are, of course. Sound business practice demands we
outsource war. We've got much better things to do with our lives and the Euros
don't. Fair is fair.

The Euro Chain of Command is what you'd expect from any well run American
Corporation: The Fourth Reich. Rather than have the Krauts run all over Europe
breaking things in their ham-handed fashion, we simply declare them "Masters of
Europe". Let's remember Euro History. The French loved being under Nazi domination.
Remember the Petain Government? The Spanish loved being Fasist. The Italians
worshipped Il Duce. Yeah the Euros love Dictators. They're merely modern Kings. The
Euro Mercenary Army, doing America's bidding for cash needs to be commanded by
Germans -- but controlled by Yankees. We know how to make a buck and the Euros
don't. They need to be led least they screw up whatever undertaking they're about.

The first war we need our Mercenary's to fight is, of course, a war against Iran.
Send the Euro's against Iran and you've solved Euro financial problems for a minimum
of 20 years. We insist they fight with their own weapons, of course, which will
prolong the conflict. Picture the Euro Mirage Jets against the Iranian Soviet Built
Tanks. After you've stopped laughing think about a BAR against a Kalishnakov. Some
fun, huh? Have you got the picture of Canandian Infantry (no IDF of course) against
Iranian "Special Forces" firmly in your mind? Can you imagine Ollie North doing play
by play? Are you still upright?

The few bucks we'll spend on our Mercenarys will be more than made up for when we
imbed Bagdad Bob with the Iranians and Wolff Blitzer with the Euros. We've got 20
years of Prime Time Comedy Central with guaranteed zero casualties. OK, so we have
to put up with a half dozen commercials for United Way, Bud Light, and Viagra. Big

America, we have a moral obligation to once again rescue the Euro Idiots. The Fourth
Reich is the right thing to do.

A Right Wing Thug --- Butch... jdpworld.com
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