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The Bill of Rights - Pig Style

Stray Pooch

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In George Orwell's "Animal Farm" the revolution of the animals happens for a good reason. It is rooted in liberty and decency. To insure that all animal rights are protected, the animals write the rules on the wall. But when the pigs who are leading the government start to violate the rules, the animals find that the writing has been modified. The rules are not the ones agreed upon at the start of this experiment in liberty.

Hasn't this all proved true in our own government? Our founders wrote down some rules called the Bill of Rights, but they seem to have changed. The original words are still there, but there have been some additions. Haven't looked at the Bill of Rights lately? Read them again - you may be surprised . . .


Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of the Christian religion , or prohibiting the free exercise thereof as long as it can't be seen in public; or abridging the freedom of appropriate speech, or of the press as long as it is not within two months of an election and equal time is given to opposing views; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble unless in front of an abortion clinic, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances which will promptly be denied.

Amendment II

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State and a truly powerful tool for a tyrant, the right of the people and by "people" we mean "state" to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed by allowing anyone who might oppose government policies to have the means to resist.

Amendment III

No Soldier shall, in time of peace be honored, well paid or allowed to have absentee votes counted or be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but they shall be protested, insulted and denied compensation for illnesses contracted by unacknowledged chemical warfare in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Amendment IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated unless national security is involved, and no Warrants shall be required in cases of national security but otherwise shall issue, but upon manufactured or probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation which it shall not be necessary to produce due to national security, and particularly or generally describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Amendment V

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except when it can be hidden or in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb unless you can find a new twist to try the case on; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself unless tortured into confession, nor be deprived of life unless too young to be considered "life", liberty within government-prescribed limits, or property unless you have too much, without due process of business concerns and bogus law; nor shall private property be taken for public use when private use can bring in more taxes or keep social programs solvent and, without just an absurdly small amount of compensation.

Amendment VI

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial unless under detention without charge, by an impartial jury or a clandestine arm of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law or designated in a foreign country, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation except in matters of national security; to be confronted with the witnesses against him if they agree with the government case; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor unless otherwise directed by the government, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence if defense is authorized.

Amendment VII

In Suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, lawyers will have the right to greatly exaggerate such value and the right of trial by jury shall be circumvented by making the costs so high that the likelihood of large cash settlement will be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any Court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law or in case the plea bargain falls through.

Amendment VIII

Excessive bail shall not be required of anyone who can afford a good lawyer, nor excessive fines imposed except on small businesses who do not know every possible government regulation pertaining to them, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted except when such punishment might extract information.

Amendment IX

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to actually mean they exist or to deny or disparage others retained by the people which rights shall be determined and modified as necessary by the Supreme Court or the President.

Amendment X

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution shall be assumed to exist anyway, nor shall any rights be thought of as not prohibited by it to the States, and very few rights are reserved to the States respectively, in fact, no rights shall be intended to limit the scope of the federal government or give power to the people.
 

teacher

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Stray Pooch said:
Hasn't this all proved true in our own government? Our founders wrote down some rules called the Bill of Rights, but they seem to have changed. The original words are still there, but there have been some additions. Haven't looked at the Bill of Rights lately? Read them again - you may be surprised . . .
Scares me so bad I'm taking my Pez and going to hide in the closet with my flat headed midget hooker.

What amazes me is the libs who call it a living breathing document. Not. Look what we have lived and breathed into it. The words in black only give testament that the founding fathers had giant brains, like me, teacher.

Did you do that yourself Pooch? If so then teacher has a hero.
 

Stray Pooch

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teacher said:
Scares me so bad I'm taking my Pez and going to hide in the closet with my flat headed midget hooker.

What amazes me is the libs who call it a living breathing document. Not. Look what we have lived and breathed into it. The words in black only give testament that the founding fathers had giant brains, like me, teacher.

Did you do that yourself Pooch? If so then teacher has a hero.
I did indeed. teacher. I do some writing for fun and small profit. This I just came up with last night and tonight.

Actually, I DO look at the Constitution as a living document. To paraphrase Chief Justice John Marshall, it is intended to endure and therefore to be adaptable to various human crises. That's what the amendment process is for, and it has often served us well. But that process is reserved to the people as final arbiter - not the SCOTUS or the President or even the Congress. Further, the amendments we have in place should either be repealed or left alone. Those first ten, at least, should only be open to the latter.
 

teacher

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Stray Pooch said:
teacher said:
Actually, I DO look at the Constitution as a living document.
I agree. Let me put my statement a different way. To be specific. Algore(Igor, Rush's joke) I recall said it was a "living breathing document" in the context as it could be interpreted loosely to fit the soup de jour. For instance the 2nd amendment. Using "his" definition of the word "militia" to mean something like the national guard, not the populace. I agree it is a living breathing document within the constraints explicitly wrote into it by the founding fathers. It can be changed by amendment. Not loosely interpreted to fit either parties current rhetoric. Again, sweet piece of work on the bill of rights. I'm impressed.
 

Fantasea

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Stray Pooch said:
In George Orwell's "Animal Farm" the revolution of the animals happens for a good reason. It is rooted in liberty and decency. To insure that all animal rights are protected, the animals write the rules on the wall. But when the pigs who are leading the government start to violate the rules, the animals find that the writing has been modified. The rules are not the ones agreed upon at the start of this experiment in liberty.

Hasn't this all proved true in our own government? Our founders wrote down some rules called the Bill of Rights, but they seem to have changed. The original words are still there, but there have been some additions. Haven't looked at the Bill of Rights lately? Read them again - you may be surprised . . .


Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of the Christian religion , or prohibiting the free exercise thereof as long as it can't be seen in public; or abridging the freedom of appropriate speech, or of the press as long as it is not within two months of an election and equal time is given to opposing views; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble unless in front of an abortion clinic, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances which will promptly be denied.

Amendment II

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State and a truly powerful tool for a tyrant, the right of the people and by "people" we mean "state" to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed by allowing anyone who might oppose government policies to have the means to resist.

Amendment III

No Soldier shall, in time of peace be honored, well paid or allowed to have absentee votes counted or be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but they shall be protested, insulted and denied compensation for illnesses contracted by unacknowledged chemical warfare in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Amendment IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated unless national security is involved, and no Warrants shall be required in cases of national security but otherwise shall issue, but upon manufactured or probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation which it shall not be necessary to produce due to national security, and particularly or generally describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Amendment V

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except when it can be hidden or in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb unless you can find a new twist to try the case on; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself unless tortured into confession, nor be deprived of life unless too young to be considered "life", liberty within government-prescribed limits, or property unless you have too much, without due process of business concerns and bogus law; nor shall private property be taken for public use when private use can bring in more taxes or keep social programs solvent and, without just an absurdly small amount of compensation.

Amendment VI

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial unless under detention without charge, by an impartial jury or a clandestine arm of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law or designated in a foreign country, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation except in matters of national security; to be confronted with the witnesses against him if they agree with the government case; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor unless otherwise directed by the government, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence if defense is authorized.

Amendment VII

In Suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, lawyers will have the right to greatly exaggerate such value and the right of trial by jury shall be circumvented by making the costs so high that the likelihood of large cash settlement will be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any Court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law or in case the plea bargain falls through.

Amendment VIII

Excessive bail shall not be required of anyone who can afford a good lawyer, nor excessive fines imposed except on small businesses who do not know every possible government regulation pertaining to them, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted except when such punishment might extract information.

Amendment IX

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to actually mean they exist or to deny or disparage others retained by the people which rights shall be determined and modified as necessary by the Supreme Court or the President.

Amendment X

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution shall be assumed to exist anyway, nor shall any rights be thought of as not prohibited by it to the States, and very few rights are reserved to the States respectively, in fact, no rights shall be intended to limit the scope of the federal government or give power to the people.
Damn those activist judges who, instead of interpreting existing law, legislate from the bench.
 
H

HTColeman

Where did you get those Bill of Rights? I have never seen that version, and I wasn't aware they have been "updated".
 

Youve Got To Be Kidding!

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Stray Pooch said:
Hasn't this all proved true in our own government? Our founders wrote down some rules called the Bill of Rights, but they seem to have changed. The original words are still there, but there have been some additions. Haven't looked at the Bill of Rights lately? Read them again - you may be surprised . . .
Why not add the Constitution to that list.
 

Youve Got To Be Kidding!

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Stray Pooch said:
Amendment II

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State and a truly powerful tool for a tyrant, the right of the people and by "people" we mean "state" to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed by allowing anyone who might oppose government policies to have the means to resist.
"and a truly powerful tool for a tyrant"

You are in desperate need of education. The second amendment is SOLELY there to PROTECT YOU FROM THE TYRANT --> US GOVERNMENT. Youre US goverment put that Amendment in there cause they cared about YOU. They KNEW that corruption would win out and YOU would loose. They knew it was stacked against you. They knew that the only threat to YOU was your government. Not England, Iran, Iraq etc. etc. etc.

Thank you for Misrepresenting my GOD GIVEN RIGHT. If you want to relinquish your rights move to another country that does not have them. Please do not minimize my rights.
 

Youve Got To Be Kidding!

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:lol:
Stray Pooch said:
Amendment III
No Soldier shall, in time of peace be honored, well paid or allowed to have absentee votes counted or be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but they shall be protested, insulted and denied compensation for illnesses contracted by unacknowledged chemical warfare in a manner to be prescribed by law.
Perhaps if they where actualy defending the country or liberty or peace the people would not protest and insult them like they did in Iraq and Vietnam. If you are addign the fact that they are compensated for illnesses contracted by CBN warfare as a bad thing I dont like you already.:lol:
 

Youve Got To Be Kidding!

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Stray Pooch said:
Amendment IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated unless national security is involved, and no Warrants shall be required in cases of national security but otherwise shall issue, but upon manufactured or probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation which it shall not be necessary to produce due to national security, and particularly or generally describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

What makes you think you have these rights to begin with? Who gave them to you? You do not have them to beging with. Because your not free. If you do think you have them and God gave them to you, what good is it going to do? God is not here to back them up. You need to fight and pay for them. If you dont satnd up and tell someone you have them who is going to say "ok you are right ill leave you alone".

America WAS land of the free home of the brave when Americans had some balls.
 
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