Temperament, Temperament

[Ontologuy]

Romance -- just let it happen, with whomever it happens, and see where it goes, for however long it lasts.

Okay, sure.

This chart, however, may hold the key to determining how long it may last:


In fact, this little chart is the result of knowledge gleaned through the ages, from ancient astrology to modern psychology .. and it even implies specific areas of the brain are at work.

Each of the four columns are really sliding scales between dichotomies of psychological aspects of character and temperament.

If you were to look at each of the four near their two ends, the top and the bottom of each, and combined the four columns together in all their combinations, you'd get the following chart:

Or this chart:

There are many other similar charts.

The point here is that each of us have different places in our brain that are more active or developed or preferred to us .. and one way of interpreting that is in these charts.

It is important, of course, to understand that no one is a snapshot of any plot on the chart, though we do have our strength/preference tendency that can be identified somewhere on each of the four sliding-scale columns, a place on each in combination with the other three where we are most .. comfortable.

With regard to mating, it has been my personal experience, in retrospect, that this character and temperament analysis has pretty much been spot-on in determining if the woman I'm with is an "opposite" or a "similar".

The "opposites" were interesting at first .. but we eventually woke up to find we were sleeping with a stranger.

The "similars", however, came the closest to being "soulmates", and we would have been together forever, perhaps, had other extenuating circumstances, like emotional immaturity, etc., not sent us upon our separate ways.

I'm wondering if anyone else has found this character and temperament stuff fascinating, if they know their strength tendency temperament and type as expressed in the third chart, and if they can calibrate their mating experiences from this perspective.

I major in "Idealist" with a minor in "Rational" -- that's strong iNtuitive with Feeling just a bit stronger than thinking. My Extroversion-Introversion and Judging-Perceiving are pretty balanced.

My perfect mate, according to Keirsey (Please Understand Me II) would be strong "Idealist", highly intuitive with feeling considerably stronger than thinking, a little more of an introvert than an extrovert, with Perceiving just a hair stronger than Judging. My experience definintely corroborates that recommendation.

However, as this chart presents, my more perfect mate is infrequently encountered:

What's your temperament and character, if you know it, or if you can gather it from the charts .. or find the online test?

Have you found that those who were different from you were more fascinating, but not lasting .. or those who were similar to you, maybe not as exciting, but definitely more fulfilling?

Those who often find themselves near the top of the second column in the first chart find this stuff boring or maybe a bit ridiculous.

Those who often find themselves near the bottom of the second column in the first chart usually find this stuff fascinating.

Indeed, I have learned that the second column, perhaps the one least understood, is the most critical in mating.

 

[SmokeAndMirrors]

Interesting. I test as an INFJ. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised it's the least common type.

Personality test based on Jung - Myers-Briggs typology

What's especially interesting is that in the Career Indicator link, my actual profession and my runner-up are both mentioned: I'm a writer (which is the very first one), and I considered going into psychology.

Jung Career Indicator

Here's the description:

INFJ Profile

I don't know the types of my friends or anything. But I tend to either love or hate people who are like me. They are both my strongest and most negative connections.

 

[Ontologuy]

Interesting. I test as an INFJ. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised it's the least common type.

Personality test based on Jung - Myers-Briggs typology

What's especially interesting is that in the Career Indicator link, my actual profession and my runner-up are both mentioned: I'm a writer (which is the very first one), and I considered going into psychology.

Jung Career Indicator

Here's the description:

INFJ Profile

I don't know the types of my friends or anything. But I tend to either love or hate people who are like me. They are both my strongest and most negative connections.

You only scored a 1% on J -- that's rather balanced, and the description for P might also add some accurate description.

I once read where Hitler reflected ENFJ .. and I would imagine another ENFJ with a different perspective would vehemently clash with Hitler -- that's NFs, alright.

NFs take life deeply, so it's not surprising they would have a more powerful, passionate reaction.

I too once considered psychology, learned a lot on my own, but my path took a different turn. When my son was 15 I gave him some reading material to pass the boredom while recovering from an appendectomy. One of the books was Keirsey's book on character and temperament. He's now a licensed PsyD.

My NFness is reflected in both the piano improvs I create .. and in my "idealistic" desire to find solutions to our country's jobs-depression crisis.

Without question I'm drawn to other highly intuitive people, though one of my best friendships has been with a very intelligent woman who scores xSFx -- intelligent Fs make great friends, whether N or S.

But my closest romantic relationship was with another NF .. and, of course, when it ended way back when that was my biggest broken heart. Today we're good friends .. and though we now have others in our life we both have confessed to each other that "we were the ones". Maybe next life she says ... but I'm not so sure.

Regardless, sometimes I think it is too easy and safe to be with someone who is not an equal partner.

 

[SmokeAndMirrors]

But my closest romantic relationship was with another NF .. and, of course, when it ended way back when that was my biggest broken heart. Today we're good friends .. and though we now have others in our life we both have confessed to each other that "we were the ones". Maybe next life she says ... but I'm not so sure.

Regardless, sometimes I think it is too easy and safe to be with someone who is not an equal partner.

A very similar thing has happened to me, with one difference: we're both still reasonably young and unattached. It didn't end so much as life got in the way and there was no real way around it. We have future plans to meet again, but life will go where it goes. It was nice while it lasted, and it was a unique and indispensable experience for me even if it never gets re-established. I've never had that sort of connection with someone before.

It's one of those bitter-sweet things about being a human. Meeting an equal of the same mind and having life get in the way. It's been a couple years now, but hope springs eternal. Maybe someday.