lizzie
DP Veteran
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- Libertarian
They can when you take things like this in to account, especially if it is a daughter, and not a son;
Another Cause of Early Puberty in Girls: Absent Dads | TIME.com
Should women be allowed custody of their children after they cheat on their husband, resulting in a divorce, where the husband demands full custody?
There are many things that go into making a decision as to who best to have custody of children. The act of cheating alone shouldn't have anything to do with it at all, in my opinion.
I don't doubt that, but it still isn't addressing the point that I made. I firmly believe that children need both parents, and that they do much better in a family setting with parents who love each other and work as a team to raise their children. What I am saying is that a woman (or man) who cheats is not a bad parent, but is a bad partner.
I agree, but I believe it is an emotional divergence from the question originally posed, which was if a woman cheated, should she lose custodial rights. I am assuming the question is being proposed in a custody battle, courts scenario.
I assume the same, which is what my initial response was based on. I don't view the maternal-child relationship as equivalent to the husband-wife relationship, thus I don't think it should be taken into consideration, but I also don't think the woman automatically should have custody just because she is a woman.
How does a parent cheat on their spouse without giving up time that should have been spent with the children?
How does a parent cheat on their spouse without giving up time that should have been spent with the children?
But, isn't the husband and her child the same because it was her explicit choice to have both of them?
How do people cheat, period? . . . A lot of it is office related- at times when it's not neglecting spouse/children to do so.
I think the myth that someone runs off whenever they 'go to the store' or 'go to the drs' or 'going out with friends for sports night' as a guise for cheating is really more based on myth. . . reality is - most people don't do that when they cheat.
Infidelity Statistics - Truth About Deception
My ex was always wrapped up with his coworkers - together, he was suppose to be management . . . there you go. He wouldn't have been home even if he didn't cheat so it's not like it cut into our time together. Now his drug habit - that did.
Job = Income, Income that is going to the family. F*cking around with somebody else while at work risks both income, and family. That doesn't really show any additional reason for allowing a cheater to keep a child.
No. COMPLETELY different things.
Look, I love my wife. I'd die for her. But I can think of many things that would make me leave her, and infidelity is only one of them. If she became too naggy, or our interests started to diverge too much, or if we just got bored with each other. Such things can cause you to fall out of love in certain situations.
But there is nothing, NOTHING, that could cause me to stop loving my children. Paternal/maternal love is orders of magnitude greater/deeper than spousal love. I would venture to say many, if not most, parents feel that way. In fact, all too many people suffer through a miserable marriage solely out of the fear of losing their children.
You can't compare the two types of love.
Ok . . . so tell me why the cheater - who did so wrong - should be given a free walk in the park and then pass the stress and issues of parenting all onto the other because they were "just that bad"
Don't you believe they should have to uphold their parental responsibilities - and not be given some sort of alleviation from parenting altogether?
No - to me it would be a personal hell to be without my kids. But it would also be extremely difficult to raise them without my husband doing something. I'd become more incensed and more angry if I was the only parent to carry the weight of all the decisions, issues and troubles when they were OUR children we made together. I'd not only expect him to be a parent - I'd demand it . . . he'd still go to events, games, parades, the dr's - all those things. He wouldn't be able to skip out of it all because he ****ed around.
You would die for her, but you can think of many reasons why you would cheat on her? Your standard for sacrificing yourself is incredibly low, or at least it seems that way.
Spiker, I already tore this same argument from you apart, yesterday;
http://www.debatepolitics.com/polls/142396-should-women-allowed-custody-7.html#post1061134243
I didn't say I would cheat on her. I said there were things that could make me leave her, i.e. get a divorce. One of those things that would make me leave her is infidelity on her part.
But I have known men and women who were horrible spouses and were cheaters but were outstanding parents. I have known copules that were faithful to each other but were mediocre parents at best. Humans are complicated creatures. You can't fit them into cookie cutter molds.
No - what it all boils down to is that you think cheating means they'er also a ****ty parent . . . and I don't think that's a determining factor.
OTHER factors make you ****ty - but cheating itself . . . no, especially when most of it goes unknown and doesn't end marriages.
Do you think a parent is ****ty if the marriage *doesn't end* (parent - not spouse - we've already established they're a bad spouse)
Look, if you can't equate that cheating not only makes you a bad spouse, but considering the statistics, puts your child at risk to be less successful, prone to legal entanglements, as well as all other manners of life f*cked-up-edness, all because you put them in a single parent situation, than why should I even bother responding?
No - I'm not saying that it doesn't negative impact others if it leads to divorce.
What I am saying is that I don't believe it equates to whipping your child half to death and then throwing them in the closet.
Or burning them with cigarettes
Or locking them in a cage
Or handcuffing them to a bed
Or sexually abusing them
Or starving them
Or abandoning them on the side of the road
You think it does - I don't. You're pretending as if I'm writing it off as some sort of happy cake where everyones all happy and no one's hurt. . . which is tripe.
All I am saying is, so far you have only given a reason to keep the cheater around because you don't want to separate them from the parental responsibilities.
I have stated that they risked the child's future well-being already. Why would you want them around to do it again, other than to catch a break?
No - no - you're just ignoring everything else I've said in this thread and latching onto that one post because I just recently put it up.
Like I said in the beginning - it's circumstancial . . . other things would have to happen for it to be a consideration in my view. It's all circumstantial. Like many of us first stated - usually if someone cheats in a relationship there were other problems and the marriage was already rocky.
Cheating isn't what breaks up the marraige - it's how they decide to handle it that might end the marriage. Many couples facing the situation DON'T DIVORCE - that is also their response.
If cheating was the nail - then it would be the nail whether they stayed together or not. . . but it's not.
Marriages end for all sorts of reasons - does that mean that one parent should always lose rights if they were somehow considered more at fault for the breakdown of the marriage?
What does sexual fidelity have to do with fitness to be a parent?
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