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I would say that one of the problems with women today is that they don't know how to let their man own them. Women don't know what that means because feminism has replaced "protect and provide for" with "command and abuse".
On balance, however, men have forgotten how to own women, treating them like objects than valuable family members.
Do you believe that your relationship with her gives you authority over her?
Do you believe that your relationship with her gives you authority over her?
IN all fairness, I think that marriage implies a certain degree of ownership by both parties over the RELATIONSHIP. One of the things that broke my marriage irreparably, other than the cheating, was the idea my ex-husband had that he wasn't obligated to get consensus before moving ahead. So, if he wanted to buy a $17,000 car, he could do so without getting my input and consent.
He wanted to be married while living like a single guy.
When you marry, there is a certain degree of autonomy that is lost. That doesn't mean that you are each other's possessions, but that your lives and fortunes are linked, and you can't make big decisions without each other.
That's actually one of the reasons that, while I adore my boyfriend, I'm in no hurry to get married. I'm not eager to relinquish that measure of control over my own life.
Why are the rules different once you tie the knot? I don't think it has anything to do with being married or not. The people in the relationship agree to a set of rules and conditions to follow. Do these change upon marriage?
Again, not in a legal sense, no.
However, we both together chose to renew our vows under Judeo-Christian 'law', so on a sociological/religious level, that does give me authority over her so long as I'm just.
Now don't get me wrong here, I've made my share of mistakes and share in the guilt for what's going wrong in my marriage today, but typically the husband/father is the head of the household.
As a side note, a single woman or a widow has equal authority in the eyes of the church as any man so long as her head is "covered" with the authority of Christ. This is the exact same concept as having credentials to make a claim or in making an argument under another credible authority's study/research.
Not necesssarily because of marriage, but the dynamics change over time. I will use my best friend as an example. He dated the same girl for a long time, and they lived with each other for years before they got married. Early on in the relationship, she was sort of timid and did whatever he wanted for the most part. Or at least, let him do whatever he wanted to. Then over time, she asserted herself more and balanced the relationship to where he had to compromise with her, and now it is in full reverse of how it started, as she completely dominates him and he has to basically ask permission to be able to do anything, and she sets the schedule for the household. I don't know if he is as timid as she was, but he seems to be unwilling to confront her anymore. There are plenty of times, where if my wife talked to me the way she talks to him, I would have left.
IN all fairness, I think that marriage implies a certain degree of ownership by both parties over the RELATIONSHIP. One of the things that broke my marriage irreparably, other than the cheating, was the idea my ex-husband had that he wasn't obligated to get consensus before moving ahead. So, if he wanted to buy a $17,000 car, he could do so without getting my input and consent.
He wanted to be married while living like a single guy.
When you marry, there is a certain degree of autonomy that is lost. That doesn't mean that you are each other's possessions, but that your lives and fortunes are linked, and you can't make big decisions without each other.
That's actually one of the reasons that, while I adore my boyfriend, I'm in no hurry to get married. I'm not eager to relinquish that measure of control over my own life.
And you think that her becoming more assertive is due to their getting married? You don't mention how old they were when they first started. Could this be a case of a young inexperienced girl maturing into a confident woman?
Why are the rules different once you tie the knot? I don't think it has anything to do with being married or not. The people in the relationship agree to a set of rules and conditions to follow. Do these change upon marriage?
I think that it isn't so much an issue of marriage, but of sharing a household. And yes, sharing space changes things. If you have joint funds, that changes things even more.
Heh. Point.
Not only am I most like never getting married again, I'm not planning on living with anyone again either. Been there, done that, no likey.
Husbands are to love their wives as Christ love the church, and laid his life down for it. A self-sacrificing love.
That is completely at odds with the idea of ownership or property as we think of it in this day/age.
I think that it isn't so much an issue of marriage, but of sharing a household. And yes, sharing space changes things. If you have joint funds, that changes things even more.
Jerry, I appreciate your answer. You've provided a great deal of insight into where your opinion comes from. Your opinion varies greatly from what Celticlord has expressed. I see your position as being more a case of the man being the leader of the family and fulfilling his responsibilities...and that is admirable even outside the Judeo-Christian parameters you cited. I see nothing in your view that would make a woman your property or subservient to you. Rather it seems you view them as a valuable member of your family, which you would cherish and take care of. And I'm down with that.
The difference is in Celticlords view of women and Jerry's. CL's post was quite, quite different. Maybe go read it then come back here.No, his opinion varies very little from celticlord's. Jerry feels he has authority over his wife. He is to be in control of her, and she is to allow that.
Where the **** is the difference?
Did I say that?You don't think people in power exchange relationships cherish one another and value them as a part of the relationship?
What does this have to do with what Celticlord said?When I get my harem, I'll cherish each and every one of them. They will all be valuable members of my family, and I will take care of them as long as they allow and I wish to.
I read all of his posts. I don't see the difference.The difference is in Celticlords view of women and Jerry's. CL's post was quite, quite different. Maybe go read it then come back here.
You implied it by stating:Did I say that?
Rather it seems you view them as a valuable member of your family, which you would cherish and take care of
Why does everything have to do with him? I was talking about myself and my desire to possess a harem of women.What does this have to do with what Celticlord said?
So when Celticlord says his woman is his property and she is required to kneel before him, and that he believes in administering corporal punishment upon her when she deserves it, that is the same as what Jerry said?I read all of his posts. I don't see the difference.
Because that is what was being discussed at the time between you and I. Regardless, you are obviously going to reach to defend them and I respect your opinion on the matter, even though I disagree with it.Why does everything have to do with him? I was talking about myself and my desire to possess a harem of women.
Its interesting you bring up the sharing of funds. My wife and I have always done the joint account thing, but there has always been one person bringing in the bread for both of us(except for a span of 2 years where we both worked in a profession). In the beginning, I supported my wife through college and now as I begin college, she will be the main bread winner. And to be perfectly honest, I feel as though I am some sort of failure not being able to provide for my family at age 30. I have no issue with my wife working, but I feel as though I am not living up to my end of the bargain by not providing much right now. It tugs at my brain everyday. I know that over time, I will again provide support for my family, in a monetary sense, but right now it feels like I am freeloading off my wife and I absolutely hate it.
We're a long way from the cavemen days.
Also, explain this one to me then: What about the guys who expected me to be faithful, but thought it was no big deal if THEY cheated on ME?
I just don't understand why fidelity matters so much to people and why it has to be a "make or break" kinda deal.
I am serious about my current partner, though, and I’m not willing to give her up in order to have a multiperson relationship, and she’s not bi, but she’s great in every other way. (
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