People on DP who are just too ****ed up to take seriously.

[Hatuey]

Nananana....Nananana.....Hey Hey Hey Hey! Goodbye.

 

[1069]

There seems to be a lot of free-floating paranoia going around in this thread.

 

[Hatuey]

There seems to be a lot of free-floating paranoia going around in this thread.

It's a neo-con issue.

 

[505]

Have you seen her picture? I'd hit that shit front, back, and sideways.

Wait a minute I missed this post earlier... link please?

 

[Thorgasm]

It's a neo-con issue.

New message.

 

[Lerxst]

The fact that he supposedly reported me to the feds for laying the smack down on him (in a thread dedicated for doing so, in which he also participated) is ban-worthy.

All in favor?

aye.

Needless to say, I won't be losing any sleep in fear of an agent knocking on my door... and if I do get a visit, when I show them the thread in question, I am sure that said agent will laugh just as hard as I have at some of the random shit in here. They will then have some nice charges against ol' bhkad for wasting their time with stupid bullshit when he couldn't stick up for himself.

Enjoy your stay in the pen you sack of excrement.

I doubt he reported anyone, he's just in his "basement death throes." Like ToT, he has let his delirium cost him any credibility he may have formerly had.

When one makes evolution from "upstairs play" to "basement play", it can sometimes result in DP Death Syndrome...or DPDS. It's very symptomatic and can be easily spotted. The "enforced" civility displayed upstairs is a deceitful bitch...she is a temptress....luring your into the abyss of the basement. The transition can be a severe shock to the system. If you are not ready for it you may end up taking it personally. It's a trap. Like a spiders web, the harder they struggle the more entangled they become. Desperation sets in, now not only are they powerless in the basement they begin to feel the heat upstairs. They know that everyone who used to give them some level of respect upstairs now looks at them as "that idiot who stumbled into the basement and came out covered in shit with one eyebrow shaved off and a big red handprint on his face." They believe that if they just relax and try to be witty the smack will come. But it doesn't, it gets harder to find, because now they are clawing after it, digging violently, throwing shit around the room, screaming in their skulls, demanding the smack show itself....but the smack taunts them with sinister little laughs, beckons them...."just try harder, just think more..." But the smack serves itself, it never serves you. All you can do is tame it enough not to bite you. If you can do that, you can wield it like a deadly weapon, killing DP dreams in the basement. This is what drives noobs to seek the smack. If they can just score a few supporting comments they are back in the game, they can relax a bit and maybe slide in on someone else's coattails. Then someone else is the target...then they can grab some momentum, then it will be their turn! They think they are in a contest they can now win....however to win there has to be an end.





But smack in the basement never ends.











Ever.

 

[Thorgasm]

I doubt he reported anyone, he's just in his "basement death throes." Like ToT, he has let his delirium cost him any credibility he may have formerly had.

When one makes evolution from "upstairs play" to "basement play", it can sometimes result in DP Death Syndrome...or DPDS. It's very symptomatic and can be easily spotted. The "enforced" civility displayed upstairs is a deceitful bitch...she is a temptress....luring your into the abyss of the basement. The transition can be a severe shock to the system. If you are not ready for it you may end up taking it personally. It's a trap. Like a spiders web, the harder they struggle the more entangled the become. Desperation sets in, now not only are they powerless in the basement they begin to feel the heat upstairs. They know that everyone who used to give them some level of respect upstairs now looks at them as "that idiot who stumbled into the basement and came out covered in **** with one eyebrow shaved off and big red handprint on his face." They believe that if they just relax and try to be witty the smack will come. But it doesn't, it gets harder to find, because now they are clawing after it, digging violently, throwing **** around the room, screaming in their skulls, demanding the smack show itself....but the smack taunts them with sinister little laughs, beckons them...."just try harder, just think more..." But the smack serves itself, it never serves you. All you can do is tame it enough not to bite you. If you can do that, you can wield it like a deadly weapon, killing DP dreams in the basement. This is what drives noobs to seek the smack. If they can just score a few supporting comments they are back in the game, they can relax a bit and maybe slide in on someone else's coattails. Then someone else is the target...then they can grab some momentum, then it will be their turn! They think they are in a contest they can now win....however to win there has to be an end.





But smack in the basement never ends.











Ever.

Well put. :2wave:

 

[Lerxst]

Wait a minute I missed this post earlier... link please?

I'm not sure where her pics are at. I have seen them on here before, but don't know if she has a gallery. Absolutely stunning red head.

 

[505]

I doubt he reported anyone, he's just in his "basement death throes." Like ToT, he has let his delirium cost him any credibility he may have formerly had.

When one makes evolution from "upstairs play" to "basement play", it can sometimes result in DP Death Syndrome...or DPDS. It's very symptomatic and can be easily spotted. The "enforced" civility displayed upstairs is a deceitful bitch...she is a temptress....luring your into the abyss of the basement. The transition can be a severe shock to the system. If you are not ready for it you may end up taking it personally. It's a trap. Like a spiders web, the harder they struggle the more entangled they become. Desperation sets in, now not only are they powerless in the basement they begin to feel the heat upstairs. They know that everyone who used to give them some level of respect upstairs now looks at them as "that idiot who stumbled into the basement and came out covered in shit with one eyebrow shaved off and a big red handprint on his face." They believe that if they just relax and try to be witty the smack will come. But it doesn't, it gets harder to find, because now they are clawing after it, digging violently, throwing shit around the room, screaming in their skulls, demanding the smack show itself....but the smack taunts them with sinister little laughs, beckons them...."just try harder, just think more..." But the smack serves itself, it never serves you. All you can do is tame it enough not to bite you. If you can do that, you can wield it like a deadly weapon, killing DP dreams in the basement. This is what drives noobs to seek the smack. If they can just score a few supporting comments they are back in the game, they can relax a bit and maybe slide in on someone else's coattails. Then someone else is the target...then they can grab some momentum, then it will be their turn! They think they are in a contest they can now win....however to win there has to be an end.





But smack in the basement never ends.











Ever.

Haha, epic.

I'm not sure where her pics are at.

 

[Lerxst]

I always find it interesting when the claims arise that we gain rape people down here. We do no such thing!

Think of it like a pack of lions stalking the plains. We don't need the other lions to kill the gazelle...it just sometimes ends with a bunch of us running it down feeding on the carcass.

 

[Thorgasm]

I doubt he reported anyone, he's just in his "basement death throes." Like ToT, he has let his delirium cost him any credibility he may have formerly had.

When one makes evolution from "upstairs play" to "basement play", it can sometimes result in DP Death Syndrome...or DPDS. It's very symptomatic and can be easily spotted. The "enforced" civility displayed upstairs is a deceitful bitch...she is a temptress....luring your into the abyss of the basement. The transition can be a severe shock to the system. If you are not ready for it you may end up taking it personally. It's a trap. Like a spiders web, the harder they struggle the more entangled they become. Desperation sets in, now not only are they powerless in the basement they begin to feel the heat upstairs. They know that everyone who used to give them some level of respect upstairs now looks at them as "that idiot who stumbled into the basement and came out covered in shit with one eyebrow shaved off and a big red handprint on his face." They believe that if they just relax and try to be witty the smack will come. But it doesn't, it gets harder to find, because now they are clawing after it, digging violently, throwing shit around the room, screaming in their skulls, demanding the smack show itself....but the smack taunts them with sinister little laughs, beckons them...."just try harder, just think more..." But the smack serves itself, it never serves you. All you can do is tame it enough not to bite you. If you can do that, you can wield it like a deadly weapon, killing DP dreams in the basement. This is what drives noobs to seek the smack. If they can just score a few supporting comments they are back in the game, they can relax a bit and maybe slide in on someone else's coattails. Then someone else is the target...then they can grab some momentum, then it will be their turn! They think they are in a contest they can now win....however to win there has to be an end.





But smack in the basement never ends.











Ever.

Start a thread with this and I will make a sticky.

 

[505]

Think of it like a pack of lions stalking the plains.

For your information, I own a lion. And not one of your crap a$$ queen of the jungle homoerotic *****-cat lions. A real lion, with fangs and horns and wings and shit. I just put it in a box and sent it to bhkad.

 

[Thorgasm]

For your information, I own a lion. And not one of your crap a$$ queen of the jungle homoerotic *****-cat lions. A real lion, with fangs and horns and wings and shit. I just put it in a box and sent it to bhkad.

"I've got a lion in my pocket. And baby he's ready to roar!" -- Prince

 

[CaptainCourtesy]

ITS TIME TO PLAY IS BKHAD....​

GAY!......or......Strai-...err, nah, MORE GAY!​

We'll let you, the basement viewers, decide



Hmm, male domination and oral sex joke...the evidence begins...



Oh, what a swerve. Bkhad leaves the traditional to go to the fetish isle of the sexual department store for a bit of foot fellatio...once again request from a man...kinky.



And a break in this case! A break from ***** he says? (how does one break from something they don't get...ah, something for another show) Well...I guess now we see why this sudden outpouring of homoeroticism has came spewing forth like the build up of seminal fluid burst from his anal canal.



Ahhh, the foot fetish is over...foreplay seems to be finished, its onto pure anal sex now. That poor, poor father...what's worse, getting raped in the ass or getting raped in the ass by a man with a 3" dick. Its like double the humiliation.



And we come to the conclussion where we discover that apparently its the trannies that Bhkad has a true thirst for, and enjoys wearing their red badge of courage happily across his shriviled three inch dong.



So...good basement viewers, what say you?


GAY?

Or

MORE GAY?

OK, this was good.

 

[Thorgasm]

OK, this was good.

Only cause it turns you on. :2razz:

 

[CaptainCourtesy]

Only cause it turns you on. :2razz:

The writing reminds me, somewhat of the amazing stories I have written. Much better than the silly 'your momma is...' one liners I've been seeing down here. :2razz:

 

[Bodi]

ginally Posted by 505
Good thread. Would read again.

Suspense, drama, action, a little romance, tragedy, redemption, victory, with a few twists and turns along the way... could be a real blockbuster if converted to a screenplay.

To everyone other than bhkad, I salute you and your display of quality smack.

bhkad, You remain DP's most sincerely pathetic member. The pathetic combinations of words you try to pass off as insults, your complete lack of tact, intelligence, or wit, and your idiotic attempts at making any type of meaningful posts serve as constant reminders that, even in real life, you are a terrible human being. You’re easily one of the shittiest flame writers ever, yet you stick to it with the tenacity of a crack whore trying to pick up a quarter that's super glued to the floor. I’ve never seen a single creative thought in one of your posts. It’s time to give it up.

Just in case you think about replying to this, don't. I have relatives from not so far back that were nimibian tribesman. They happen to have fought lions just to become warriors. I dont know what you know about lions but they aren't like your average cat. I bet you would absolutely **** yourself if you ever saw a real life lion... especially if you were only holding a sharpened stick and you were naked. Come talk to me when some of your family members have gone on the zambutu bibjano; aka the trial of life. Until you have done half the **** that they have maybe you shouldnt even talk to me. I know you think you're hard and **** but guess what pal... u arent'. I don't give a **** who you are or where you live, you can count on me to be there to bring your life to a hellish end. I'll put you in so much pain that it'll make jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a back massage on a tropical island. I don't give a **** how tough you are, how well you can fight, or how many guns you own to protect yourself. I'll show up at your house when you aren't at home. I'll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. I'll turn your heater on high and open all the windows. I'll turn your cable box on and order 20 pay per view channels at once, and I'll pick up your phone and dial a pay-per-minute sex line in Japan. I'm going to run your utility bills up so ****ing high that you can't pay them. You're going to start stressing out, your blood pressure will triple, and you'll have a heart attack. You'll go to the hospital for heart operation, and the last thing you'll see when you're being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed up like a doctor. When you wake up after the operation, you'll be scared for your life, wondering what I did to you while you were being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You'll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when you walk out the front door of that hospital to go home, I'll run you over with my ****ing car out of nowhere and that will be all for you.

You have been warned.

YeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeW!!

Sweet fucking smack...

Unless you really are a freaking loony bastard, that is

 

[Bodi]

Originally Posted by 505
For your information, I own a lion. And not one of your crap a$$ queen of the jungle homoerotic *****-cat lions. A real lion, with fangs and horns and wings and ****. I just put it in a box and sent it to bhkad.

That is one of them new hybrid lions huh?
I heard about them...
They change color too, don't they?

 

[Bodi]

Jeff
I always find it interesting when the claims arise that we gain rape people down here. We do no such thing!

Think of it like a pack of lions stalking the plains. We don't need the other lions to kill the gazelle...it just sometimes ends with a bunch of us running it down feeding on the carcass.

We certainly do not need the others, but you know that it always ends that way regardless...

Just think if we had a pack of 505's flying horned lions! Sweet mother of god that would ****ing rock

 

[505]

...Unless you really are a freaking loony bastard, that is

No, not really... well maybe just a little actually.

But only on Saturdays.

:lol:

 

[CaptainCourtesy]

I doubt he reported anyone, he's just in his "basement death throes." Like ToT, he has let his delirium cost him any credibility he may have formerly had.

When one makes evolution from "upstairs play" to "basement play", it can sometimes result in DP Death Syndrome...or DPDS. It's very symptomatic and can be easily spotted. The "enforced" civility displayed upstairs is a deceitful bitch...she is a temptress....luring your into the abyss of the basement. The transition can be a severe shock to the system. If you are not ready for it you may end up taking it personally. It's a trap. Like a spiders web, the harder they struggle the more entangled they become. Desperation sets in, now not only are they powerless in the basement they begin to feel the heat upstairs. They know that everyone who used to give them some level of respect upstairs now looks at them as "that idiot who stumbled into the basement and came out covered in shit with one eyebrow shaved off and a big red handprint on his face." They believe that if they just relax and try to be witty the smack will come. But it doesn't, it gets harder to find, because now they are clawing after it, digging violently, throwing shit around the room, screaming in their skulls, demanding the smack show itself....but the smack taunts them with sinister little laughs, beckons them...."just try harder, just think more..." But the smack serves itself, it never serves you. All you can do is tame it enough not to bite you. If you can do that, you can wield it like a deadly weapon, killing DP dreams in the basement. This is what drives noobs to seek the smack. If they can just score a few supporting comments they are back in the game, they can relax a bit and maybe slide in on someone else's coattails. Then someone else is the target...then they can grab some momentum, then it will be their turn! They think they are in a contest they can now win....however to win there has to be an end.


But smack in the basement never ends.



Ever.

Not too bad for an amateur psychologist, but allow a professional to take over. As I'm sure some of you have noticed around here, lately there has been a plague that has been circulating throughout the forum. It only strikes a very select few. These are people that carry the dreaded REAC (pronounced "reek", as in "you reek") virus. REAC stands for Rabid Extreme Asinine Conservative, and the virus, itself lays dormant inside the host until it is activated. This virus was first discovered in the late '90s as having infested certain talk-radio and TV talk show hosts, as well as a number of authors. A side affect that afflicted some of these authors was that of a very large adam's apple. The virus lays dormant with these people, and, to some extent, it has seemed that they are a resilient bunch, as few have shown signs of the activated plague.

Now first some etiology of this rather repugnant virus. How is it transmitted from host to host? Firstly, the person who becomes infected must meet certain criteria. Weak-willed and easily manipulated are defining qualities. Often a single digit IQ is noted, though a few do creep, slightly into double digits. Constant drooling is always a trait, as is the obsessive desire to both stick one's head in the toilet and blow underwater bubbles and to fingerpaint with one's own bowel movements; sometimes these behaviors do occur simultaneously. It is important to remember that this virus only attacks ultra-right-wing conservatives, especially since the previous description of one who could be affected by the REAC virus is identical to the description of an ultra-right-wing conservative. Regular conservatives are immune to this virus and are nothing like the description given here. Moderates and regular liberals are also immune. Extreme liberals suffer from a different virus, but that is for another time.

Now that you understand the type of person that can be infected, it is important to understand the etiology of this rather repugnant virus. How is it transmitted from host to host? A host is infected via a form of subliminal messaging. The person will either be watching, listening, or reading the inane dronings of someone who is either infected or a carrier of the REAC virus. Because of their weak-willed personality, and their gnat-like IQ, the virus, sensing a receptive and rather ignorant host, jumps through whatever medium is being used, enters the host through it's incessant drooling, travels through the head, to the host's puny brain, and attaches to it like a parasite...quite a redundancy, considering REAC carriers are often known as parasites. The host is now infected, but the virus remains dormant until triggered.

Even in dormant stage, the virus has an impact on the host, though this is nothing like what happens when the virus becomes activated and goes into PLAGUE STAGE. While dormant, the virus, acting like a parasite, affects the hosts paltry cognitive functioning. The host, already an absolute idiot, now become asinine, also, becoming extremist conservative in their views. They show mild signs of bigotry and alarmism, though are able to form some rational thoughts concerning these issues. During this stage, some specific 'obsessions' may begin to be exhibited. This could be a warning for the future, as it could be this obsession that either becomes the trigger, or is demonstrated as the major symptom of the Plague. All continues like this until the REAC virus gets activated.

The activation process can take a number of forms and varies from host to host. It could be a word, a phrase, being confronted on lying, being humiliated, any of these things, or others could be the trigger. Once the REAC virus is triggered, however, similar symptoms start to emerge. The host becomes a Rabid Extreme Asinine Conservative in epic proportions. Any issue they had before is multiplied 10-fold. If they were a little paranoid before, they are a total paranoid-delusional nutcase, now. If they were a little prejudicial before, they are a complete bigot, be it a racist or anti- anything else. Now, as the PLAGUE STAGE continues, it becomes obvious that the pieces of their fragile little minds begin to become unglued. Delusional, incoherent, and pointless threats, often encompassing the FBI are repeated, often obsessively, and always insanely. Compulsive nose-picking often occurs. Some even believe that they are fighting some imaginary global jihad, and that everyone around them is against them. When this occurs, PLAGUE STAGE is nearly at an end. The end isn't pretty. Often these drooling, shit-playing, delusional dolts start to de-evolve, becoming simian-like. Usually they attempt to smack sane, non-infected folks, always looking foolish, while in-turn, sinking deeper and deeper into their own psychosis. Since putting a coherent thought is impossible for these gene-pool rejects, at this point, they are often smacked around, so much, that they, usually, either leave of their own volition, often turning up as one of those homeless guys who yells "FUCK" repeatedly at Grand Central Station, or they are taken away to the local asylum. Sometimes they hang around, but are never taken seriously.

Now, with this description at hand, we have seen this plague filter though our forum and infect a few of our posters. TOT caught a rather nasty case. Stinger's was quick-acting. Dixon, going through the entire de-evolution stage, is still in the throws of the plague. And now it seems that our bhkad has also been infected and is now in PLAGUE STAGE of the REAC virus. He has all the symptoms, as I have described. It's a pretty ugly affliction, and his behavior down here has further cemented symptom observation.

Unfortunately, there is no known cure for REAC. Prevention is key, and not becoming an utra-right-wing asinine conservative is a great idea if you don't want REAC. Some treatments do include frontal lobotomies, but since most of these folks do not have frontal lobes to begin with, this treatment is often futile. Removing the host's entire head often cures the disease, but the side effects can be rather extreme. For the most part, the best treatment is being laughed at, humiliated, and healthy dose of smack.

Thank you for your kind attention. Class is dismissed.

 

[505]

:applaud

By far the most educational class I've sat through in years. Bravo, Professor.

 

[Lerxst]

Not too bad for an amateur psychologist, but allow a professional to take over. As I'm sure some of you have noticed around here, lately there has been a plague that has been circulating throughout the forum. It only strikes a very select few. These are people that carry the dreaded REAC (pronounced "reek", as in "you reek") virus. REAC stands for Rabid Extreme Asinine Conservative, and the virus, itself lays dormant inside the host until it is activated. This virus was first discovered in the late '90s as having infested certain talk-radio and TV talk show hosts, as well as a number of authors. A side affect that afflicted some of these authors was that of a very large adam's apple. The virus lays dormant with these people, and, to some extent, it has seemed that they are a resilient bunch, as few have shown signs of the activated plague.

Now first some etiology of this rather repugnant virus. How is it transmitted from host to host? Firstly, the person who becomes infected must meet certain criteria. Weak-willed and easily manipulated are defining qualities. Often a single digit IQ is noted, though a few do creep, slightly into double digits. Constant drooling is always a trait, as is the obsessive desire to both stick one's head in the toilet and blow underwater bubbles and to fingerpaint with one's own bowel movements; sometimes these behaviors do occur simultaneously. It is important to remember that this virus only attacks ultra-right-wing conservatives, especially since the previous description of one who could be affected by the REAC virus is identical to the description of an ultra-right-wing conservative. Regular conservatives are immune to this virus and are nothing like the description given here. Moderates and regular liberals are also immune. Extreme liberals suffer from a different virus, but that is for another time.

Now that you understand the type of person that can be infected, it is important to understand the etiology of this rather repugnant virus. How is it transmitted from host to host? A host is infected via a form of subliminal messaging. The person will either be watching, listening, or reading the inane dronings of someone who is either infected or a carrier of the REAC virus. Because of their weak-willed personality, and their gnat-like IQ, the virus, sensing a receptive and rather ignorant host, jumps through whatever medium is being used, enters the host through it's incessant drooling, travels through the head, to the host's puny brain, and attaches to it like a parasite...quite a redundancy, considering REAC carriers are often known as parasites. The host is now infected, but the virus remains dormant until triggered.

Even in dormant stage, the virus has an impact on the host, though this is nothing like what happens when the virus becomes activated and goes into PLAGUE STAGE. While dormant, the virus, acting like a parasite, affects the hosts paltry cognitive functioning. The host, already an absolute idiot, now become asinine, also, becoming extremist conservative in their views. They show mild signs of bigotry and alarmism, though are able to form some rational thoughts concerning these issues. During this stage, some specific 'obsessions' may begin to be exhibited. This could be a warning for the future, as it could be this obsession that either becomes the trigger, or is demonstrated as the major symptom of the Plague. All continues like this until the REAC virus gets activated.

The activation process can take a number of forms and varies from host to host. It could be a word, a phrase, being confronted on lying, being humiliated, any of these things, or others could be the trigger. Once the REAC virus is triggered, however, similar symptoms start to emerge. The host becomes a Rabid Extreme Asinine Conservative in epic proportions. Any issue they had before is multiplied 10-fold. If they were a little paranoid before, they are a total paranoid-delusional nutcase, now. If they were a little prejudicial before, they are a complete bigot, be it a racist or anti- anything else. Now, as the PLAGUE STAGE continues, it becomes obvious that the pieces of their fragile little minds begin to become unglued. Delusional, incoherent, and pointless threats, often encompassing the FBI are repeated, often obsessively, and always insanely. Compulsive nose-picking often occurs. Some even believe that they are fighting some imaginary global jihad, and that everyone around them is against them. When this occurs, PLAGUE STAGE is nearly at an end. The end isn't pretty. Often these drooling, shit-playing, delusional dolts start to de-evolve, becoming simian-like. Usually they attempt to smack sane, non-infected folks, always looking foolish, while in-turn, sinking deeper and deeper into their own psychosis. Since putting a coherent thought is impossible for these gene-pool rejects, at this point, they are often smacked around, so much, that they, usually, either leave of their own volition, often turning up as one of those homeless guys who yells "FUCK" repeatedly at Grand Central Station, or they are taken away to the local asylum. Sometimes they hang around, but are never taken seriously.

Now, with this description at hand, we have seen this plague filter though our forum and infect a few of our posters. TOT caught a rather nasty case. Stinger's was quick-acting. Dixon, going through the entire de-evolution stage, is still in the throws of the plague. And now it seems that our bhkad has also been infected and is now in PLAGUE STAGE of the REAC virus. He has all the symptoms, as I have described. It's a pretty ugly affliction, and his behavior down here has further cemented symptom observation.

Unfortunately, there is no known cure for REAC. Prevention is key, and not becoming an utra-right-wing asinine conservative is a great idea if you don't want REAC. Some treatments do include frontal lobotomies, but since most of these folks do not have frontal lobes to begin with, this treatment is often futile. Removing the host's entire head often cures the disease, but the side effects can be rather extreme. For the most part, the best treatment is being laughed at, humiliated, and healthy dose of smack.

Thank you for your kind attention. Class is dismissed.

Ah very nice, however you have only described a syndrome specific to asinine conservatives. DPDS knows no political boundaries. Take ChimChim for example. He is no conservative. Being a fucktard is a universally problematic issue. DPDS doesn't care if you support Ron Paul, Gerald Ford, Geraldine Ferraro, Charro, that guy from "American Idol" who didn't win but is really good anyway, Rush Limbaugh, Ronny Deutch the famous tax attorney whose saved tens of thousands from the IRS, or Dennis Kucinich....if you have the makings of "stupid" tucked away in your genetic makeup, it can strike you at any time.

 

[Thorgasm]

Not too bad for an amateur psychologist, but allow a professional to take over. As I'm sure some of you have noticed around here, lately there has been a plague that has been circulating throughout the forum. It only strikes a very select few. These are people that carry the dreaded REAC (pronounced "reek", as in "you reek") virus. REAC stands for Rabid Extreme Asinine Conservative, and the virus, itself lays dormant inside the host until it is activated. This virus was first discovered in the late '90s as having infested certain talk-radio and TV talk show hosts, as well as a number of authors. A side affect that afflicted some of these authors was that of a very large adam's apple. The virus lays dormant with these people, and, to some extent, it has seemed that they are a resilient bunch, as few have shown signs of the activated plague.

Now first some etiology of this rather repugnant virus. How is it transmitted from host to host? Firstly, the person who becomes infected must meet certain criteria. Weak-willed and easily manipulated are defining qualities. Often a single digit IQ is noted, though a few do creep, slightly into double digits. Constant drooling is always a trait, as is the obsessive desire to both stick one's head in the toilet and blow underwater bubbles and to fingerpaint with one's own bowel movements; sometimes these behaviors do occur simultaneously. It is important to remember that this virus only attacks ultra-right-wing conservatives, especially since the previous description of one who could be affected by the REAC virus is identical to the description of an ultra-right-wing conservative. Regular conservatives are immune to this virus and are nothing like the description given here. Moderates and regular liberals are also immune. Extreme liberals suffer from a different virus, but that is for another time.

Now that you understand the type of person that can be infected, it is important to understand the etiology of this rather repugnant virus. How is it transmitted from host to host? A host is infected via a form of subliminal messaging. The person will either be watching, listening, or reading the inane dronings of someone who is either infected or a carrier of the REAC virus. Because of their weak-willed personality, and their gnat-like IQ, the virus, sensing a receptive and rather ignorant host, jumps through whatever medium is being used, enters the host through it's incessant drooling, travels through the head, to the host's puny brain, and attaches to it like a parasite...quite a redundancy, considering REAC carriers are often known as parasites. The host is now infected, but the virus remains dormant until triggered.

Even in dormant stage, the virus has an impact on the host, though this is nothing like what happens when the virus becomes activated and goes into PLAGUE STAGE. While dormant, the virus, acting like a parasite, affects the hosts paltry cognitive functioning. The host, already an absolute idiot, now become asinine, also, becoming extremist conservative in their views. They show mild signs of bigotry and alarmism, though are able to form some rational thoughts concerning these issues. During this stage, some specific 'obsessions' may begin to be exhibited. This could be a warning for the future, as it could be this obsession that either becomes the trigger, or is demonstrated as the major symptom of the Plague. All continues like this until the REAC virus gets activated.

The activation process can take a number of forms and varies from host to host. It could be a word, a phrase, being confronted on lying, being humiliated, any of these things, or others could be the trigger. Once the REAC virus is triggered, however, similar symptoms start to emerge. The host becomes a Rabid Extreme Asinine Conservative in epic proportions. Any issue they had before is multiplied 10-fold. If they were a little paranoid before, they are a total paranoid-delusional nutcase, now. If they were a little prejudicial before, they are a complete bigot, be it a racist or anti- anything else. Now, as the PLAGUE STAGE continues, it becomes obvious that the pieces of their fragile little minds begin to become unglued. Delusional, incoherent, and pointless threats, often encompassing the FBI are repeated, often obsessively, and always insanely. Compulsive nose-picking often occurs. Some even believe that they are fighting some imaginary global jihad, and that everyone around them is against them. When this occurs, PLAGUE STAGE is nearly at an end. The end isn't pretty. Often these drooling, shit-playing, delusional dolts start to de-evolve, becoming simian-like. Usually they attempt to smack sane, non-infected folks, always looking foolish, while in-turn, sinking deeper and deeper into their own psychosis. Since putting a coherent thought is impossible for these gene-pool rejects, at this point, they are often smacked around, so much, that they, usually, either leave of their own volition, often turning up as one of those homeless guys who yells "FUCK" repeatedly at Grand Central Station, or they are taken away to the local asylum. Sometimes they hang around, but are never taken seriously.

Now, with this description at hand, we have seen this plague filter though our forum and infect a few of our posters. TOT caught a rather nasty case. Stinger's was quick-acting. Dixon, going through the entire de-evolution stage, is still in the throws of the plague. And now it seems that our bhkad has also been infected and is now in PLAGUE STAGE of the REAC virus. He has all the symptoms, as I have described. It's a pretty ugly affliction, and his behavior down here has further cemented symptom observation.

Unfortunately, there is no known cure for REAC. Prevention is key, and not becoming an utra-right-wing asinine conservative is a great idea if you don't want REAC. Some treatments do include frontal lobotomies, but since most of these folks do not have frontal lobes to begin with, this treatment is often futile. Removing the host's entire head often cures the disease, but the side effects can be rather extreme. For the most part, the best treatment is being laughed at, humiliated, and healthy dose of smack.

Thank you for your kind attention. Class is dismissed.

My dog ate my homework. Nice lecture.:mrgreen:

 

[Zyphlin]

People on DP who are just to Fucked up to take seriously?

Hundlebolg.

really, no smack is needed. No explanation is needed. Just go to THIS thread. Anything that can bring Hautey and Bkhad into agreement just doesn't need further explanation as to why the poster is Fucked up.