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Patriot Act Protects Us from Nuns

danarhea

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The nuns of the Holy Name Monastery were such a threat to the Security of the United States that the monastery's bank account was frozen under the Patriot Act for a week. It took them 3 months to straighen out the mess, and the bank was happy to refund the hundreds of dollars in bounced check fees that resulted from the freeze. But I need to know - Was the 80 year old nun carrying a rocket launcher or parts for a roadside bomb? You never know. Nuns are pretty strange, which is a good reason to put them under surveilance and freeze their accounts.

While we are busy keeping America safe from nuns, lets put this program into full throttle:

1) The Quakers are anti American - Lets kill them all. A simple executive order can do that, or better yet, with all the surveilance scandals going on right now, better deal with Congress on this one. Lets pass a bill called the "Quakers and other Al-Qaeda sympathizers pest control bill".

2) The Boy Scouts of America are too all-American looking. They must have something to hide. Lets tap their phones, then get rid of them all.

3) I dont like border guards either. They are letting the terrorists come through from Mexico. Lets deport them to Mexico under the "Keeping America safe from Non-Aliens Act".

4) Women? Hmmmmm. You know a lot of them are feminists. At least they look a lot like feminists. Cant really tell the feminists from the non-feminists. No sense taking chances. Lets deport them all to Canada. To make up for the loss of female companionship, we will import pornography from Sweden. We will put Jeff Gannon in charge of that, provided that he promises to keep the gay porn only to himself.

5) Pat Buchanan, Lew Rockwell, and others who call themselves conservatives? Lets just dig a hole and throw them all in it and cover it up. No sense having people around to remind us of how unconservative we really are. Lets call it the Patriot against "professed" Patriots Act.

6) Liberals? Since they are beginning to steal lines from Buchanan, lets throw them all in the hole with him.

7) How about all liars who called themselves Neoconservatives, but who are leaving, or will be leaving the Neoconservative movement within the next couple of years? Those are the worst offenders. Summary executions for them under military law. I will both give the order, and carry it out, thus showing my unbridled patriotism in the process.

Let me see. Who does that leave? Hey, just you and me, mom... mom? Where are you, mother? Ooops, she's in Canada. Sorry, mom, but I had to defend America, and you were in the way.

Oh well, at least I have the USA all to myself now. Now what do I do? I guess I will run for President. Cant lose now, can I? :lol:

From this article.
 

KidRocks

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Reminds me of the Cheech and Chong movie where overzeolus cops busted a stationwagon full of nuns (or so they thought) at the Mexico/US border, suspecting them of smuggling pot while Cheech and Chongs van obviously reeked of marijuana. :cool:

The Bushies are getting desperate.
 
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