Oftencold
DP Veteran
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2008
- Messages
- 5,044
- Reaction score
- 2,202
- Location
- A small village in Alaska
- Gender
- Male
- Political Leaning
- Very Conservative
- Require kids to knock 10 to 50 times before answering the door.
- In most cases, describe wonderful treats that I have for them, like a pound fudge each, a fresh pie, gourmet chocolate and so forth. Then ask them for their address and phone numbers, and their parents' names. Once I have that information, shut the door and lock it with no further word.
- Occasionally dispense empty candy wrappers.
- Using a partner disguised as another trick-or-treater, occasionally run screaming from the doorstep and appear to beat the other "child" to the ground, take their candy, pocket most and give a few cheap pieces to a quarter of the children at the door.
- Blame my shortage of candy on the mean Easter Bunny.
- Bonus in honor of Michelle Obama: confiscate all candy and replace it with healthy, low fat, organically grown turnips.
- Select the stupidest kids and tell them that because of the Mean Easter Bunny, when they get home, Mommy will will be dead.