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My Plans for an Obamacare Themed Halloween


DP Veteran
Dec 10, 2008
Reaction score
A small village in Alaska
Political Leaning
Very Conservative
  1. Require kids to knock 10 to 50 times before answering the door.
  2. In most cases, describe wonderful treats that I have for them, like a pound fudge each, a fresh pie, gourmet chocolate and so forth. Then ask them for their address and phone numbers, and their parents' names. Once I have that information, shut the door and lock it with no further word.
  3. Occasionally dispense empty candy wrappers.
  4. Using a partner disguised as another trick-or-treater, occasionally run screaming from the doorstep and appear to beat the other "child" to the ground, take their candy, pocket most and give a few cheap pieces to a quarter of the children at the door.
  5. Blame my shortage of candy on the mean Easter Bunny.
  6. Bonus in honor of Michelle Obama: confiscate all candy and replace it with healthy, low fat, organically grown turnips.
  7. Select the stupidest kids and tell them that because of the Mean Easter Bunny, when they get home, Mommy will will be dead.
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