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- Jun 22, 2019
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The average life expectancy of all women in the US in 1900; rich, poor, minority, white, immigrant, US citizen was 41.1 years old.In my 20s I dated a Catholic guy who was (also 20s) one of 14 kids. His mother was also dead.
Women were desperate to stop the debilitating effect on themselves and the family of serial pregnancies. They wrote to Sanger thousands a year asking for help.
Well, my husband loves me and we both love children, but he is only a working man and I don’t think we should have any more children for I am not able to properly care for these, except as I know I am shortening my own life, by neglecting to have the care and attention I need. The doctor who was with me when my last baby was born said he would be sorry if I had any more, but that is all, he’d give no advice on how to prevent the same thing happening. My husband has prevented it since, but by continual continence. I know that is impossible if a couple lives together and loves each other.
If I do give birth to any more I will have to give them away, the poor things and who wants children, and if I keep them to mother them myself they will have to starve, where the world is so full. When my third baby was born I was wishing I were dead. But no, I had to live to be this way again, so I do not know what to do. If I take my life, what will become of my beloved ones I got already?
I am thirty-one years of age, have had six children. Married at the age of eighteen. My husband is twenty-eight, drinks habitually, don’t think women are for anything else only to cook, wash, work in the field and have children.
I have refused sexual relation, but this causes awful quarrels, grouches and everything else. If there is anything you can do to help me I would be glad to hear from you at once. My baby is four months old so I must get busy in time or I’ll be gone again without remedy. My family physician says I have fallen womb caused by lifting things too heavy. I wish I could see you face to face and tell you all I want to. I am in despair. Can you help me? Will you help me?
At the age of 17, I married a brakeman on the XX Railroad. He drank some and was very frail. After eleven months I had a little girl born to me. I did not want more children, but my mother in law said it was a terrible sin to do anything to keep from having children. In 11 months again I had another little puny girl. In 23 months I had a boy. In 10 months I had a premature baby that lived five hours. In 11 months I had another little girl. In 17 months another boy. In 9 months a 4 month miscarriage. In 12 months another girl and in 3.5 years another girl. After the birth of the last child my husband died.
excerpted from: Margaret Sanger, Motherhood in Bondage (New York: Brentano’s, 1928)