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Is this good parenting?

Is this good parenting? (See link in post #1)

  • Total voters
    49
I was all for it until he shamed him on Facebook. No need for that. Parent all you want, but this guy shamed his kid, probably only for 15 minutes of internet fame.

Had he not posted this on Facebook, I would have been all for it.

I have no problem with asymmetric parenting. I do have problems with shaming kids with videos that will follow them for the rest of their lives.
 
Looks good to me. :shrug:

And not really surprised that there are those accusing the father of being a bully to his son. Those are the type of people that you hope to god has no children and never will have children.
 
Kreton said:
Yes. These parents are teaching their child that actions have consequences. Bullying is not acceptable. And they rode behind him to make sure he was ok.
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^^^^ this ^^^°
 

One thing to consider is that bullying is about someone shaming another, so putting the shoe on the other foot seems like a not inappropriate thing to do as well. Shame can be a powerful motivator.
 

I have no problem with posting it on FB. School bullying is normally done publicly also. "Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself."
 
Good job, Dad!
 

What is the worst of this following him? 15 years later someone finds it and laughs at him for being punished and he says "yea I was an asshole and my dad parented me and I became a better person for it".
 
View comments in light of the following (or not): those people who I knew that said they were beaten by their parents, advocated beating children. Those people who I knew that did not say they were beaten by their parents, did not advocate beating children.

Consider.
 
Bryan Thornhill posted three videos to his Facebook
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Dumb as all ****.

Sane people don't need to know what you had for breakfast, Sane people don't need to know who you are not friends with this week and sane people don't need to watch you pat yourself on the back because you think you are doing a good job parenting your kid. Drama queen, look at me!

Normal people just get on with their life, without all drama, If you can't figure out how to teach your child bullying is wrong and discipline them in an effective manner without feeling the need to tell the world on facebook, then you're a moron.
 
Kal'Stang said:
I have no problem with posting it on FB. School bullying is normally done publicly also. "Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself."
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School bullying, at least when I was growing up, wasn't immortalized. It happened between two people and whomever happened to be standing around.

It's a rather lopsided comparison.




Also, what Serenity said. Apart from the whole punishment fitting the crime angle (or not fitting), WTF would the parent decide to post it on facebook?
 
I don't have a problem with it. Boy is lucky he has a father around to instruct him that growing up to be a man doesn't include bullying. This was his choice of punishment which I might add did not include a physical act such as spanking and those worried about his father sharing the videos on his facebook page well if he didn't have a father around addressing his sons bad behavior early on like so many kids in our society today, he might be one of many who we see in mug shots later on , on the evening news.

The dad's point about being a parent for 18 years then you can become their best friend is wise comment.
 
Fishking said:
One thing to consider is that bullying is about someone shaming another, so putting the shoe on the other foot seems like a not inappropriate thing to do as well. Shame can be a powerful motivator.
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Why not sit your child down and explain why his behaviour is not acceptable, set limits as to what is acceptable and reiterate that stepping outside of those limits will not be tolerated. Take him personally to school. Arrange a meeting with the teachers and the other student involved. The expectation should be that he apologises to the other child and his teachers and the apology should be genuine. Explain any future attempts will not be tolerated. Let him know of any additional penalty you may impose. Keep in touch with the school DAILY to make sure that there are no further attempts and continue to talk to your child about suitable behaviour.

Posting it on facebook is beyond nuts. Only a drama queen would do that. Your facebook is not a personal reality TV show, so don't make it one.
 

I think that is a broad generalization that doesn't always hold true.
 
Mr Person said:
Minus the facebook, maybe.
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I'm mixed on this. Being on the receiving end of bullying is one of the most brutally demoralizing experiences a person can endure. When I was in the fourth grade, I decided to be on the giving end for a change. When word got back home Cardinal Senior was not amused, and he proceeded to subject young Cardinal to the most unrelenting interrogation and lecture he could mete out. It's possible that the way my father decided to handle it was appropriate for the level and frequency of bullying I had engaged in (that was literally the only time), and it's certainly possible that Hayden's level of bullying required something a bit more. I only have the news clip to go off of, but Hayden doesn't appear to resent his dad, but I admit that may change when he's forced to confront that video long after he's ceased bullying. At that point he may come to resent his dad or just go back to bullying because, screw it, that's his public persona now whether he likes it or not. I don't know.

I'm not a parent and never will be, so it's not an issue I'll ever have to address myself.
 

your facebook page can be anything you want it to be. You have to allow who accesses your page and they are mostly friends and family 99% of the time. Folks post all kinds of family pictures/videos and they aren't drama queens. Just folks sharing life. If we had access to his facebook page there are probably a number of posts where he praised his children for a job well done along with special family moments. You may not find his actions something you would do but that doesn't make him nuts or a drama queen.
 

It just seems to me that this looks like not simply punishing the child, but to analogize to the past, like walking into school and spanking him in front of everyone.

Except it's also now permanently on the internet.
 
Mycroft said:
I think that is a broad generalization that doesn't always hold true.
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I didn't say always. I said it was specific to people who I know who said they were beaten.



The effect may not be universal but it is real (and has been studied): those abused tend to abuse. Not always, but tend.
 
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