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So...this is mostly a shout out to parents of kids ages 8-14. Mainly because it's a brave new world out there now. Things you did and taught as a parent 20 years ago simply don't apply to today.
I'm going issues I could use some advice on, mostly resolving around school, education...and my daughters personality.
First, school. Our school is apparently so broke, despite exorbitantly high taxation (I live in CT, the tax you to death state), that teachers have classroom sizes of over 30 kids, in grades 1-5. And they don't have enough text books, so...they make photo copies. But...they don't have time, so they need volunteers to make the photo copies for them. To me, that's a major holy **** moment. What. The. ****.
The kids. I never noticed it before, but as I become more involved with their activities...the kids my son and daughters ages (7 and 9) are atrocious. Teachers have done videos about how much effort it takes just to keep the class quiet and on task, or to get them lined up to go somewhere. 30 minutes, in some cases, to get kids lined up and quiet. Now, I thought, that's just teachers not knowing how to control a room of kids. But then, I put my son into cub scouts. Which is held at the school cafeteria at 7pm. I can't drop him off, so a I hang there with my daughter, because the wife is at work. I work with her on her homework. And witness the chaos. There is no order. The scout masters have no control, because there is none to be had. If I were in charge, I'd be yelling constantly. I'd have to use fear of some sort, because there is no discipline. One issue, there are autistic, or otherwise special needs kids mixed in, and there is simply no controlling them. And when they get crazy, the rest join in.
I can only imagine, this must be what it's like for the teachers.
At school now, special needs kids are mixed into the classrooms, not in separate classes. Combine this with the apparent lack of discipline with the other kids, and I can very quickly see why it can take 30 minutes to line up and shush 30+ kids.
At scouts, my normally very well behaved son became as the other kids...not listening to adults, unless I got up and put fear in him, and running around like a maniac. To the point that I don't want to have him continue. He has fun, yes. But what is he learning? How will this affect his discipline, that I have worked so hard to instill in him?
Next, my daughter. The wife and I have battled over this for some time. She wants to have our daughter start taking ADHA meds, and I don't. There is next to no long term studies, not funded by the very pharma companies that make and sell this ****, on the long term development cost of using stimulants on a child's brain. I'm sorry, I can compromise on a lot of ****....but this isn't one. I've research dietary changes...we use no food dies, so far as I can control, she gets minimal sugar, I cook meals, don't use ready made crap. But gluten is apparently something I've gotta watch out for, too. Not sure how, with out simply cutting out carbs in general, which is an expensive proposition. She only gets electronics on weekends, and right now, not even that, as she failed a major math test.
Anyone have long term exp with these drugs?
So...this is mostly a shout out to parents of kids ages 8-14. Mainly because it's a brave new world out there now. Things you did and taught as a parent 20 years ago simply don't apply to today.
I'm going issues I could use some advice on, mostly resolving around school, education...and my daughters personality.
First, school. Our school is apparently so broke, despite exorbitantly high taxation (I live in CT, the tax you to death state), that teachers have classroom sizes of over 30 kids, in grades 1-5. And they don't have enough text books, so...they make photo copies. But...they don't have time, so they need volunteers to make the photo copies for them. To me, that's a major holy **** moment. What. The. ****.
The kids. I never noticed it before, but as I become more involved with their activities...the kids my son and daughters ages (7 and 9) are atrocious. Teachers have done videos about how much effort it takes just to keep the class quiet and on task, or to get them lined up to go somewhere. 30 minutes, in some cases, to get kids lined up and quiet. Now, I thought, that's just teachers not knowing how to control a room of kids. But then, I put my son into cub scouts. Which is held at the school cafeteria at 7pm. I can't drop him off, so a I hang there with my daughter, because the wife is at work. I work with her on her homework. And witness the chaos. There is no order. The scout masters have no control, because there is none to be had. If I were in charge, I'd be yelling constantly. I'd have to use fear of some sort, because there is no discipline. One issue, there are autistic, or otherwise special needs kids mixed in, and there is simply no controlling them. And when they get crazy, the rest join in.
I can only imagine, this must be what it's like for the teachers.
Lots of ground covered here...I guess my biggest issue is, I'm a corporeal punishment kinda guy. For serious things, spankings, soap in mouth, etc. And it seems to me, I must be in a minority...cuz these other kids are animals. What am I to do, when my kids see that, and join in? WTF is wrong with the parents? What happened?
Lots of ground covered here...I guess my biggest issue is, I'm a corporeal punishment kinda guy. For serious things, spankings, soap in mouth, etc. And it seems to me, I must be in a minority...cuz these other kids are animals. What am I to do, when my kids see that, and join in? WTF is wrong with the parents? What happened?
At school now, special needs kids are mixed into the classrooms, not in separate classes. Combine this with the apparent lack of discipline with the other kids, and I can very quickly see why it can take 30 minutes to line up and shush 30+ kids.
At scouts, my normally very well behaved son became as the other kids...not listening to adults, unless I got up and put fear in him, and running around like a maniac. To the point that I don't want to have him continue. He has fun, yes. But what is he learning? How will this affect his discipline, that I have worked so hard to instill in him?
Next, my daughter. The wife and I have battled over this for some time. She wants to have our daughter start taking ADHD meds, and I don't. There is next to no long term studies, not funded by the very pharma companies that make and sell this ****, on the long term development cost of using stimulants on a child's brain. I'm sorry, I can compromise on a lot of ****....but this isn't one. I've research dietary changes...we use no food dies, so far as I can control, she gets minimal sugar, I cook meals, don't use ready made crap. But gluten is apparently something I've gotta watch out for, too. Not sure how, with out simply cutting out carbs in general, which is an expensive proposition. She only gets electronics on weekends, and right now, not even that, as she failed a major math test.
Anyone have long term exp with these drugs?
I blame the parents for lack of discipline and then the teachers are hardly in a position to be able to do anything about that.
Those kids are probably used to getting home and playing fortnite/snapchat/whatever with little to no supervision because most of the parents are doing the same thing. My 10 year old daughter is begging for a social media and of course we are the worst parents ever because we don't allow that.
Well yeah. There are parents out there that do give their kids too much leeway. Like those ones on Dr. Phil where the kids basically control the house.
Lots of ground covered here...I guess my biggest issue is, I'm a corporeal punishment kinda guy. For serious things, spankings, soap in mouth, etc. And it seems to me, I must be in a minority...cuz these other kids are animals. What am I to do, when my kids see that, and join in? WTF is wrong with the parents? What happened?
My husband is very much so like you and yes we are in the minority. According to everyone else we are the strictest parents around ...... yet everyone always says how well my daughter is compared to the other kids. Go figure. They seem to think parenting is just being a good friend for 18 years.
So...this is mostly a shout out to parents of kids ages 8-14. Mainly because it's a brave new world out there now. Things you did and taught as a parent 20 years ago simply don't apply to today.
I'm going issues I could use some advice on, mostly resolving around school, education...and my daughters personality.
First, school. Our school is apparently so broke, despite exorbitantly high taxation (I live in CT, the tax you to death state), that teachers have classroom sizes of over 30 kids, in grades 1-5. And they don't have enough text books, so...they make photo copies. But...they don't have time, so they need volunteers to make the photo copies for them. To me, that's a major holy **** moment. What. The. ****.
The kids. I never noticed it before, but as I become more involved with their activities...the kids my son and daughters ages (7 and 9) are atrocious. Teachers have done videos about how much effort it takes just to keep the class quiet and on task, or to get them lined up to go somewhere. 30 minutes, in some cases, to get kids lined up and quiet. Now, I thought, that's just teachers not knowing how to control a room of kids. But then, I put my son into cub scouts. Which is held at the school cafeteria at 7pm. I can't drop him off, so a I hang there with my daughter, because the wife is at work. I work with her on her homework. And witness the chaos. There is no order. The scout masters have no control, because there is none to be had. If I were in charge, I'd be yelling constantly. I'd have to use fear of some sort, because there is no discipline. One issue, there are autistic, or otherwise special needs kids mixed in, and there is simply no controlling them. And when they get crazy, the rest join in.
I can only imagine, this must be what it's like for the teachers.
According to everyone else we are the strictest parents around ...... yet everyone always says how well my daughter is compared to the other kids. Go figure. They seem to think parenting is just being a good friend for 18 years.
I do. I take ADHD medication to help me focus. I used to be a very poor student, but the medication has helped me focus on my work. Without it, my mind is usually all over the place and I can't sit still and focus on one thing.
I blame the parents for lack of discipline and then the teachers are hardly in a position to be able to do anything about that.
Those kids are probably used to getting home and playing fortnite/snapchat/whatever with little to no supervision because most of the parents are doing the same thing. My 10 year old daughter is begging for a social media and of course we are the worst parents ever because we don't allow that.
My daughter hates fish....when you say fish oil, you mean as a pill, a vitamin type deal? Do they generate any sort of after taste, or anything? I'm willing to try it....but I gotta be able to get her to choke it down, as it were, lol.Fish oil (Vayarin) seems to work out ok in my experience.
No side effects that I have observed.
The increase in focus was noticeable and seemed to help in passing state exams. Seems expensive is the downside.
I use a clip chart, you move up or down based on deeds and behavior, the punishments being, 30 minutes time out, no devices for the weekend, or no TV after homework. Spanking is for when they are B. A. D. Yelling at me or mom, hitting, or just flat out not doing homework, throwing stuff. These are few and far between.As a parent of 5( young adults, teenagers, and toddlers) I hear you. I haven't seen the disruptive behavior you are seeing( I've had at least 1 kid in school since 2004 ). In Ohio, we have online public schools as an option for those that cannot handle a group setting, and they've been quite popular & effective, so its not like its throwing kids out on their rears.
I'm quite shocked at the photo copying of text books; that can't be legal. We've moved to digital here and provide a laptop to all kids every year.
For discipline, I've found that a point/reward system was more effective than regular ass-whoopings. They earn points for good behavior/actions, lose points for bag/wrong, redeem points for cool things.
I find it amazing how many parents think its all about being a friend. My wife and I get the same response to our kids' good behavior.
I've got a daughter that age, and I think it's a crap-shoot Kevin, you're not alone. So many variables, between parenting and your kids and their environment and the teachers and the administration and the other kids...it's going to feel chaotic because it is.
You could consider moving to a neighborhood that you have vetted through first hand correspondence, that is great for raising kids and feeds to good schools. Sometimes it's just a longer drive and not more expensive, sometimes it's finding a new job...but that's not a guaranteed fix either, and it's certainly hugely disruptive. But many people plan their life around raising their kids, so it's an option some do choose to take. But most of us don't do that, I don't think.
In contrast, I moved to a neighborhood based on their being new home construction. Nice area, high value homes, good access, good school districts, but it's not white picket fence material either. I put my kid in private from pre-K through 6th, and up to 4th it was great, but after that, I felt the math program was terrible...all new/online-driven, it was nuts. I started working on math with her and realize she had holes all in her fundamentals, despite having all A's, and so I tutored her for hours a week in math. We finally moved her to public at 7th, good ratings but it's a huge school. And wouldn't you know it, math is far more challenging. But lucky us, she got a new math teacher, who makes up her own "textbook" with home-made worksheets that are confusing, uses a font for math where 5's look just like 6's, and seems to have them spend 90% of their time on obscure math terminology, insanely hard word problems, and long division with bad numbers that take forever to do....what was the lesson fundamental? No idea, it was lost behind all this other crap, and we're back to tutoring for hours a day. She failed her first two math tests. Sound familiar?
I don't know, I put in some effort and money and it didn't really change much, just shuffled things around. There were points in raising her when she was younger, and honestly same with our two dogs, when they were young...I'd hit a point where I thought "something's gotta give, this is crazy", and at some point the dam would break and it got better. They grow, they change, a new teacher...whatever the case.
So hang in there. Be there for your kids, spend quality time with them..that's their best "education" so to say. Maybe do what you can to help improve the school situation...talk to administration there, I don't know. Part of being involved at school if you can swing it, is for you too...to understand more and feel more in control, or to at least know it's being worked on.
Beyond that, I think you may just have to hold on for the ride. I have no idea about medication, I haven't had to face that..but my instinct would also be to avoid it unless it's a serious crisis (health/violence).
*edit. Regarding mixed school, that seems odd. But your kids may surprise you...it's an opportunity in some respects...scary, but it may turn out just fine.
At school now, special needs kids are mixed into the classrooms, not in separate classes. Combine this with the apparent lack of discipline with the other kids, and I can very quickly see why it can take 30 minutes to line up and shush 30+ kids.
At scouts, my normally very well behaved son became as the other kids...not listening to adults, unless I got up and put fear in him, and running around like a maniac. To the point that I don't want to have him continue. He has fun, yes. But what is he learning? How will this affect his discipline, that I have worked so hard to instill in him?
Next, my daughter. The wife and I have battled over this for some time. She wants to have our daughter start taking ADHD meds, and I don't. There is next to no long term studies, not funded by the very pharma companies that make and sell this ****, on the long term development cost of using stimulants on a child's brain. I'm sorry, I can compromise on a lot of ****....but this isn't one. I've research dietary changes...we use no food dies, so far as I can control, she gets minimal sugar, I cook meals, don't use ready made crap. But gluten is apparently something I've gotta watch out for, too. Not sure how, with out simply cutting out carbs in general, which is an expensive proposition. She only gets electronics on weekends, and right now, not even that, as she failed a major math test.
Anyone have long term exp with these drugs?
So...this is mostly a shout out to parents of kids ages 8-14. Mainly because it's a brave new world out there now. Things you did and taught as a parent 20 years ago simply don't apply to today.
I'm going issues I could use some advice on, mostly resolving around school, education...and my daughters personality.
First, school. Our school is apparently so broke, despite exorbitantly high taxation (I live in CT, the tax you to death state), that teachers have classroom sizes of over 30 kids, in grades 1-5. And they don't have enough text books, so...they make photo copies. But...they don't have time, so they need volunteers to make the photo copies for them. To me, that's a major holy **** moment. What. The. ****.
The kids. I never noticed it before, but as I become more involved with their activities...the kids my son and daughters ages (7 and 9) are atrocious. Teachers have done videos about how much effort it takes just to keep the class quiet and on task, or to get them lined up to go somewhere. 30 minutes, in some cases, to get kids lined up and quiet. Now, I thought, that's just teachers not knowing how to control a room of kids. But then, I put my son into cub scouts. Which is held at the school cafeteria at 7pm. I can't drop him off, so a I hang there with my daughter, because the wife is at work. I work with her on her homework. And witness the chaos. There is no order. The scout masters have no control, because there is none to be had. If I were in charge, I'd be yelling constantly. I'd have to use fear of some sort, because there is no discipline. One issue, there are autistic, or otherwise special needs kids mixed in, and there is simply no controlling them. And when they get crazy, the rest join in.
I can only imagine, this must be what it's like for the teachers.
As a parent of 5( young adults, teenagers, and toddlers) I hear you. I haven't seen the disruptive behavior you are seeing( I've had at least 1 kid in school since 2004 ). In Ohio, we have online public schools as an option for those that cannot handle a group setting, and they've been quite popular & effective, so its not like its throwing kids out on their rears.
I'm quite shocked at the photo copying of text books; that can't be legal. We've moved to digital here and provide a laptop to all kids every year.
For discipline, I've found that a point/reward system was more effective than regular ass-whoopings. They earn points for good behavior/actions, lose points for bag/wrong, redeem points for cool things.
I find it amazing how many parents think its all about being a friend. My wife and I get the same response to our kids' good behavior.
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