I feel like i am on a political island by myself

[Darius]

I'm 19, years old and live with my mom and my brother. Its kinda a christian household so i grew up with the bible. And considered myself a right winger. As time progressed and I started looking at the opinions of those on the left. Started to educate myself and deconstruct the bible. My political leanings started shifting. Now i consider myself slightly liberal and agnostic. This has put me in a really terrible situation because i enjoy politics very much and actively read on it and crave discussing it. But considering the vast difference in opinion between my family and me. I feel completely isolated. And every time I hear them talking about politics. It kinda churns my stomach and makes me want to say something to maybe change their opinions like my own. But for some reason i do not feel like if i presented them with the facts and evidence that their opinions would change. Do you guys think i should keep my mouth shut and just get by. Or confront them with my opinions and ideas and see what happens?

 

[Quag]

I'm 19, years old and live with my mom and my brother. Its kinda a christian household so i grew up with the bible. And considered myself a right winger. As time progressed and I started looking at the opinions of those on the left. Started to educate myself and deconstruct the bible. My political leanings started shifting. Now i consider myself slightly liberal and agnostic. This has put me in a really terrible situation because i enjoy politics very much and actively read on it and crave discussing it. But considering the vast difference in opinion between my family and me. I feel completely isolated. And every time I hear them talking about politics. It kinda churns my stomach and makes me want to say something to maybe change their opinions like my own. But for some reason i do not feel like if i presented them with the facts and evidence that their opinions would change. Do you guys think i should keep my mouth shut and just get by. Or confront them with my opinions and ideas and see what happens?

No man is an island so no you are not alone.
As to your dilema, only you can know what is best.
If you think you can have an honest discussion with them go for it. If you think they are so set in their ways that it will just cause discord in the family, you will have to decide if that discord is worth the honesty or if it is better to remain silent on certain subjects.
If you choose the latter then you have come to a perfect place to discuss your opinions without upsetting and possibly alienating yoru family. Though chances are you will find someon on here that is upset and alienated by your comments. But hey its the inernet that is going to happen regardless of th esubject

 

[MaggieD]

I'm 19, years old and live with my mom and my brother. Its kinda a christian household so i grew up with the bible. And considered myself a right winger. As time progressed and I started looking at the opinions of those on the left. Started to educate myself and deconstruct the bible. My political leanings started shifting. Now i consider myself slightly liberal and agnostic. This has put me in a really terrible situation because i enjoy politics very much and actively read on it and crave discussing it. But considering the vast difference in opinion between my family and me. I feel completely isolated. And every time I hear them talking about politics. It kinda churns my stomach and makes me want to say something to maybe change their opinions like my own. But for some reason i do not feel like if i presented them with the facts and evidence that their opinions would change. Do you guys think i should keep my mouth shut and just get by. Or confront them with my opinions and ideas and see what happens?

Oh, my, Darius. What fun you can have! There is nothing more invigorating than debating differences of opinion with people you respect. Just don't have the end game being that you'll change their opinion. Probably won't happen on EITHER side.

have fun! It's really an education.

 

[Darius]

Thanks, i appreciate the response. I will take into account everything you said. And yea, finding this website has made me feel a lot better about my situation.

 

[Skeptic Bob]

It REALLY comes down to the personality of the particular family members. Some people love debating politics and religion and can do so without making it or taking it personal. If you have family members like that then debate on. However some people get very sensitive when having their beliefs challenged. Everyone on this board comes here knowing that they are going to be challenged so you don't have to walk on egg shells here. However, at a family get together or over dinner there will likely be people who most definitely don't want to talk about such things.

Debating is fun but it usually isn't worth ruining relationships. So be careful with whom you choose to debate in real life. And if you find the person starting to get too emotional over it, find some common ground and then end the discussion.

 

[Dragonfly]

Generally, at 19 and still living at home, you should probably keep your mouth shut.
Or tread very VERY lightly when politics and religion become topics.

There's no reason to start bringing anxiety, stress, hard feelings, and bad attitudes into the very home you must live in.

Fly under the radar to keep the peace.

After you grow up a bit more, move out on your own, and have a path forward in life, you can start to voice some dissenting political opinions around your immediate family members.

 

[justabubba]

one of the best things about growing up in my family was talking politics (and science) over the dinner table. there is no one i loved and respected more than my Dad, but he was republican and i was not. so, you can probably imagine that we regularly differed about many topics. and quite often, he would make arguments that would trump mine. and there were a few times when he would modify his position after or discussions. Mom and my brother were the comedians who would keep things light and poke fun at our strongly held opinions. Mom would tease Dad at every election promising to cast a democratic vote to cancel his republican one. so, my suggestion is to respectfully argue a political point that you hold that differs from one or more members of your family. allow them to try to convince you why theirs is the more sound, more reasoned position. and if they are unable to do so, share your opinion with them, to see if you can shake their perspective in your direction. just remember that this is conversation. you only lose if you get or give hurt feelings; so like here, attack the position and not the person. please get back to us and tell us how it went

 

[spud_meister]

Get a job and move out.

 

[DiAnna]

Generally, at 19 and still living at home, you should probably keep your mouth shut.
Or tread very VERY lightly when politics and religion become topics.

There's no reason to start bringing anxiety, stress, hard feelings, and bad attitudes into the very home you must live in.

Fly under the radar to keep the peace.

After you grow up a bit more, move out on your own, and have a path forward in life, you can start to voice some dissenting political opinions around your immediate family members.

This is the best advice yet. I suggest you strongly consider taking it, and leave the religious/political stuff on the internet until you have a place of your own.

 

[opendebate]

I'm 19, years old and live with my mom and my brother. Its kinda a christian household so i grew up with the bible. And considered myself a right winger. As time progressed and I started looking at the opinions of those on the left. Started to educate myself and deconstruct the bible. My political leanings started shifting. Now i consider myself slightly liberal and agnostic. This has put me in a really terrible situation because i enjoy politics very much and actively read on it and crave discussing it. But considering the vast difference in opinion between my family and me. I feel completely isolated. And every time I hear them talking about politics. It kinda churns my stomach and makes me want to say something to maybe change their opinions like my own. But for some reason i do not feel like if i presented them with the facts and evidence that their opinions would change. Do you guys think i should keep my mouth shut and just get by. Or confront them with my opinions and ideas and see what happens?

First of all, good for you for seeking out information and educating yourself rather than just adopting your families opinions. That's a brave move for someone who is 19. Keep doing that, in all things.

My kids and I used to have heated debates about everything. We all loved it. No one got angry, we got passionate. We respected and just plain liked each other so it rarely got out of hand and if it did we would all calm down and say we loved each other and move on. The trick was that we also actually listened and were respectful. If you can have that kind of exchange with your family then enjoy, but it's rare. Many, in fact most, get too emotional and things get ugly. If you think that's a likely outcome with them I suggest you voice your opinion when you're invited but save the debates for those who can participate with you in a healthy way.

I would also suggest you question why you would try to change their minds. It's dangerous to enter any conversation with others if you believe you're "right" and try to change their minds. I believe one is best served by offering their opinions and thoughts and leaving the listener to do with it what they will. Try making the conversation about what you can learn from them and how their challenges to your views can actually strengthen them rather than convincing them that you are right and they are wrong.

Good luck

 

[Darius]

First of all, good for you for seeking out information and educating yourself rather than just adopting your families opinions. That's a brave move for someone who is 19. Keep doing that, in all things.

My kids and I used to have heated debates about everything. We all loved it. No one got angry, we got passionate. We respected and just plain liked each other so it rarely got out of hand and if it did we would all calm down and say we loved each other and move on. The trick was that we also actually listened and were respectful. If you can have that kind of exchange with your family then enjoy, but it's rare. Many, in fact most, get too emotional and things get ugly. If you think that's a likely outcome with them I suggest you voice your opinion when you're invited but save the debates for those who can participate with you in a healthy way.

I would also suggest you question why you would try to change their minds. It's dangerous to enter any conversation with others if you believe you're "right" and try to change their minds. I believe one is best served by offering their opinions and thoughts and leaving the listener to do with it what they will. Try making the conversation about what you can learn from them and how their challenges to your views can actually strengthen them rather than convincing them that you are right and they are wrong.

Good luck

Thanks for the thoughtful opinion i will take this to heart. Your post made me reflect on myself. Specifically "It's dangerous to enter any conversation with others if you believe you're "right" and try to change their minds."

 

[Risky Thicket]

Much the same happened to me, Darius. I'd left home by the time I was 19. My parents were church going conservatives. I'd already stopped going to church for the most part before I graduated from high school. I just hated going. Later my politics changed. I became an agnostic nonpolitical person.

Regarding religion, it's best if you just keep it to yourself until you one day leave home. It isn't worth the hassle of trying to explain what you can no longer accept. It might be seen by some a blasphemous. At 19 religion is not likely the hill you want to die on. Sometimes it's just better to let it ride and be silent.

Politics often equals religion these days. Not everyone feels that way, but more do so than I have ever seen it in my lifetime. If you can ignore the religious parts of political discussions then speak up. Just remember that often the people you may disagree with cannot or will not separate their religion from their politics. You likely won't win those debates/arguments.

In time your feelings about religion and politics will likely change and change again.

I never returned to Christianity and many in my family have become less committed to it over the years, though some have become religious fanatics. We all share mutual respect. We avoid talking about religion save for 2 cousins who can't seem to wait to tell me about Jesus or ask my about my soul. I avoid them. Most of the family does. We all talk a little about politics and while we don't always agree most of my family and extended family has all but given up on the two ruling political parties. I am a registered Independent. My family and extended family are disgusted with Washington and that includes Congress. One of my brothers has never registered to vote. He use to get a bit of hell about that, but these days we're thinking he may have just been smarter than the rest of us.

Point is, except for a few my family members have evolved over the years and we are closer politically and probably religiously. We are more accepting.

It is important to be who YOU are. At 19, you should be deciding for yourself. It is healthy that you are. It is good to question. Truth prevails. Nothing is going to happen overnight. Be patient. Chances are you're going to come through it just fine.

Give your family time, especially if you are living under the same roof.

 

[NeptuneDreams]

I'm 19, years old and live with my mom and my brother. Its kinda a christian household so i grew up with the bible. And considered myself a right winger. As time progressed and I started looking at the opinions of those on the left. Started to educate myself and deconstruct the bible. My political leanings started shifting. Now i consider myself slightly liberal and agnostic. This has put me in a really terrible situation because i enjoy politics very much and actively read on it and crave discussing it. But considering the vast difference in opinion between my family and me. I feel completely isolated. And every time I hear them talking about politics. It kinda churns my stomach and makes me want to say something to maybe change their opinions like my own. But for some reason i do not feel like if i presented them with the facts and evidence that their opinions would change. Do you guys think i should keep my mouth shut and just get by. Or confront them with my opinions and ideas and see what happens?

You are young and have your whole life to argue with them. I say while you are still living with them, it's better to keep the peace and vent on DP. Once you are out on your own, you can be a little more forward with your views. There is nothing more horrible, unhealthy, and unstable as a toxic home environment-take it from me and the few extra years I have on you. Is it really worth the risk just so you can hear yourself talk? I mean isn't that the real reason why any of us wish to discuss politics anyway-we think we are right and want others to hear how right and smart we are? LOL.

 

[TheDemSocialist]

I'm 19, years old and live with my mom and my brother.

I grew up in the a same situation.

Its kinda a christian household so i grew up with the bible.

So did I.

And considered myself a right winger.

Same. Until a point in my life.

As time progressed and I started looking at the opinions of those on the left. Started to educate myself and deconstruct the bible. My political leanings started shifting.

As did I...

Now i consider myself slightly liberal and agnostic.

Meh. When I first started to get into politics I went far left. First a simple Trotskyist, then turned to anarchism, until i found home in democratic socialism. I'm still considered a left wing nut job.

This has put me in a really terrible situation because i enjoy politics very much and actively read on it and crave discussing it. But considering the vast difference in opinion between my family and me. I feel completely isolated. And every time I hear them talking about politics. It kinda churns my stomach and makes me want to say something to maybe change their opinions like my own. But for some reason i do not feel like if i presented them with the facts and evidence that their opinions would change. Do you guys think i should keep my mouth shut and just get by. Or confront them with my opinions and ideas and see what happens?

What are you most concered about? Politics or religion? Honestly, I have not told my parents I am an atheist.... Just cuz.... I dont feel comfortable to share them my "relationship with Jesus". But I have told them all my beleives about state and church. I have told them I dont think "God" should be on anything state owned, I dont think religion and state should mix in any way be it federal or state. I told them gays can be married, 10 comandments should not be on state ground, I shouldnt say God or God shouldnt be on money (etc), or how bascially anything dealing with religion or the judeao christian god should be endorced in anyway on government property (etc)....

Guess what? You can believe all these things and be a completely religious individual.

 

[Frank Apisa]

Obviously there are lots of other people on that island, Darius.

I am a 79 year old white male...who plays golf almost every day with other white males my age. EVERY one of them is a Republican...and conservative.

Most realize it is best to just play golf...and not discuss politics or religion with me...although when those subjects come up, they seldom end up acrimonious.

I favor a progressive political agenda...and I am an agnostic.

Although our politics and philosophical stances are worlds apart...I love each and every one of them (Same goes for all my brother and cousins...all of whom are Republican, church going, conservatives.)

It makes life interesting...and fun.

You seem to be handling things just fine. Keep up the good work.

 

[RAMOSS]

I'm 19, years old and live with my mom and my brother. Its kinda a christian household so i grew up with the bible. And considered myself a right winger. As time progressed and I started looking at the opinions of those on the left. Started to educate myself and deconstruct the bible. My political leanings started shifting. Now i consider myself slightly liberal and agnostic. This has put me in a really terrible situation because i enjoy politics very much and actively read on it and crave discussing it. But considering the vast difference in opinion between my family and me. I feel completely isolated. And every time I hear them talking about politics. It kinda churns my stomach and makes me want to say something to maybe change their opinions like my own. But for some reason i do not feel like if i presented them with the facts and evidence that their opinions would change. Do you guys think i should keep my mouth shut and just get by. Or confront them with my opinions and ideas and see what happens?

Keep your mouth shut till you are out on your own, and totally independent... and then, keep it low key.