How do Lesbians have children?

[RepublicanMcDuc]

Sexual acts and sexual orientation are not the same thing. I could have sex with anyone of any gender, whether I'm attracted to them or not. That's physically possible for me to do, and I might even choose to do it for one reason or another. Doesn't make me bi/lesbian/pansexual.

Could a lesbian enjoy it? I imagine this will vary depending on which lesbian you ask. I imagine some could. Sexuality is seldom black and white, and just because you aren't particularly attracted to them doesn't mean it might not feel good under the right circumstances.

I have some very slight strain of attraction to women. I explored that at one point. I found it physically pleasurable, but it was just lacking a dimension I have with men, and therefore I'm not especially inclined to do it again. Does that make me a lesbian, or bi? No, not really. I consider myself primarily straight, since I lack a full breadth of attraction to women. It just means I have nerve endings and I'm not repulsed by the idea of having them stimulated by a woman. I imagine some lesbians may have similar feelings, genders reversed.

Some lesbians really aren't into the idea. I know one who inseminated herself by having a male volunteer ejaculate into a cup, and then she injected it with a turkey baster (yes, really). Sure, having PIV sex would probably be faster and simpler, but she really couldn't stomach it, so she did it her way.

Well, there would be pleasure as a result of stimulation, but I have a difficult time imagining someone who is 100% homosexual fully enjoying intercourse with the opposite sex. Of course, as you basically pointed out, some, perhaps many, people who identify as gay aren't totally homosexual, so that is where these questions get tricky.

 

[MaggieD]

You appear to be saying that only the biological mother can properly raise children. Homosexuals aside, that's a big slap in the face to all those families-- parents and children alike-- that were created by adoption.

Where did I say that?? Please don't blame me for your ridiculous inferences.

 

[tessaesque]

I personally don't care how a lesbian becomes pregnant so long as nobody is harmed in the process.

I'm sure there are some lesbians who have sex with men, however it doesn't seem to me like the most efficient or most likely method of insemination. It can take several sexual encounters to become pregnant, even when you heavily monitor ovulation, and I can't imagine a lesbian being incredibly excited about sex with a man, especially repetitively. That said, I don't think having sex with a man for the sake of becoming pregnant somehow lessens her "lesbianism" or challenges it in any way.

I have an ex whose aunt is gay. Her partner parented two children with two different men via "traditional" sexual intercourse. She did this SOLELY to have children and without any doubt as to her sexuality. One of the men demanded visitation with the child, the other did not. When she shared her story with me several years ago she said she regrets the way she went about things because her oldest child has no relationship with her father but the youngest child does. She feels like she might have created issues for both children by "compromising" on her sexual identity in order to become pregnant. Both of her kids (15 and 10 at the time) were happy, well adjusted, and well cared for, but her concern was that as they got older they'd start to have complicated questions about their mom's choices.

 

[clownboy]

 

[joko104]

Sexual acts and sexual orientation are not the same thing. I could have sex with anyone of any gender, whether I'm attracted to them or not. That's physically possible for me to do, and I might even choose to do it for one reason or another. Doesn't make me bi/lesbian/pansexual.

Could a lesbian enjoy it? I imagine this will vary depending on which lesbian you ask. I imagine some could. Sexuality is seldom black and white, and just because you aren't particularly attracted to them doesn't mean it might not feel good under the right circumstances.

I have some very slight strain of attraction to women. I explored that at one point. I found it physically pleasurable, but it was just lacking a dimension I have with men, and therefore I'm not especially inclined to do it again. Does that make me a lesbian, or bi? No, not really. I consider myself primarily straight, since I lack a full breadth of attraction to women. It just means I have nerve endings and I'm not repulsed by the idea of having them stimulated by a woman. I imagine some lesbians may have similar feelings, genders reversed.

Some lesbians really aren't into the idea. I know one who inseminated herself by having a male volunteer ejaculate into a cup, and then she injected it with a turkey baster (yes, really). Sure, having PIV sex would probably be faster and simpler, but she really couldn't stomach it, so she did it her way.

Some opt for annoymous sex with a man to avoid any prospect of any interaction by or from the bio-father - and then the birth certificate just says "unknown" or that space is blank. Others specifically do want the bio-father known or even want the bio-father actively in the child's life.

Relationships and families aren't always as simplistic or stereotypical as it often presented and debated.

 

[joko104]

Where did I say that?? Please don't blame me for your ridiculous inferences.

What you said is only that a study (whether or not it is a legitimate study) concerning lesbian couples one of which is the bio-mother doesn't not necessarily apply to two gays raising a child as a fact-basis. You did not in any manner condemn two gay men raising a child, but just said a study about lesbians do not necessarily apply to gay men. I agree the dymnamics MIGHT be very different. It does not mean better, worse or the same, only that t is a different "study" question.

 

[Real Korimyr #9]

Where did I say that?? Please don't blame me for your ridiculous inferences.

You said specifically that a study based on lesbian couples that included the biological mother couldn't be applied to other family compositions. You're the one that mentioned the biological mother. If you had wanted to argue that such a thing were based on lesbians being two women rather than two men, you might be called sexist but I might also agree with you.

Don't blame my inference when you don't like the implications of your own arguments.

 

[MaggieD]

You said specifically that a study based on lesbian couples that included the biological mother couldn't be applied to other family compositions. You're the one that mentioned the biological mother. If you had wanted to argue that such a thing were based on lesbians being two women rather than two men, you might be called sexist but I might also agree with you.

Don't blame my inference when you don't like the implications of your own arguments.

First, let me say I can't believe we're both UP this time of night. Ha! (I can't sleep...yuck.)

Now. I don't know what you inferred, I still don't understand what you're saying, but my point was that the study in and of itself, while it might be accurate (another poster had a problem with the study itself), it shouldn't be correlated to two gay guys raising a child unless one of them was the biological parent. If I didn't make that clear, I apologize. But that's what I meant. No slam to anyone intended.

Edit: See Joki's post above...he understood me perfectly. *shrug*

 

[Real Korimyr #9]

Now. I don't know what you inferred, I still don't understand what you're saying, but my point was that the study in and of itself, while it might be accurate (another poster had a problem with the study itself), it shouldn't be correlated to two gay guys raising a child unless one of them was the biological parent. If I didn't make that clear, I apologize. But that's what I meant. No slam to anyone intended.

Emphasis mine. That is exactly what I inferred-- you are arguing against homosexual males raising children on the basis that those children would have to be adopted. You may not have intended to insult adoptive parents in this fashion, but the substance of your argument is that homosexual men should not be allowed to adopt children because adoption is bad.

 

[MaggieD]

Emphasis mine. That is exactly what I inferred-- you are arguing against homosexual males raising children on the basis that those children would have to be adopted. You may not have intended to insult adoptive parents in this fashion, but the substance of your argument is that homosexual men should not be allowed to adopt children because adoption is bad.

I did not insult adoptive parents. What the hell are you talking about?? I am not arguing against homosexual males raising children. I'm cautioning against comparing the lesbian study -- where one of the lesbians was the biological mother -- to another family unit (in this case men) where one was not the biological parent.

If that doesn't clear up what I'm saying, then you and I are talking a different language, and I'll just assume this has something to do with you being from Mars and me being from Venus.