- Joined
- Jul 7, 2023
- Messages
- 21
- Reaction score
- 20
- Gender
- Male
- Political Leaning
- Very Liberal
I am the very model of a MAGA miracle,
I’ve managed to survive things truly borderline illegalical,
I dodge indictments daily with a grin that's quite maniacal,
And fundraise off each courtroom scene in fashion so piratical.
My hair is like a creature that defies all laws botanical,
My speeches, while incoherent, stir up fervor so fanatical,
I mix up world locations in a way that’s geographical,
But folks say “he just tells it straight!”—it’s frankly pathological.
I claim to know the deep state and I call them out by numerals,
I’ve mastered saying “China” in a way that sounds like funeral bells,
My medical ideas include bleach as a solutional,
While pushing quack prescriptions like a Fox News pharma mutual.
My tariffs caused confusion that no economist could decrypt,
I trade advisors weekly like a blackjack dealer double-dipped,
I’m very good at claiming that I’ve won when I have surely slipped—
I am the very model of a MAGA miracle.
I know my mythic grievances, from Hillary to Biden’s son,
I yell about the border while I golf and tan in Florida sun,
I quote fake founding fathers and misstate the Constitution’s core,
Inventing First Amendment rights the framers never heard before.
I say I love the veterans, then mock them when they’re out of view,
And hold up Bibles awkwardly like props I barely ever knew,
I can’t recall specifics when I ramble on instinctively,
But crowds still cheer me wildly, though I’m lying so convincingly.
I once mistook Pelosi for a waitress at Mar-a-Lago,
Declared that windmills cause cancer, like a scientific Dr. Zhivago,
I mispronounce “Yosemite” and “Niger”—makes me cynical—
Yet somehow I'm still hailed as if my genius were original.
In short, in facts historical, strategic or statistical,
I’m weaker than a diet soda’s fizz that's gone quite mystical,
But still, in matters echo-chambered, viral, and hysterical,
I am the very model of a MAGA miracle.
I’ve managed to survive things truly borderline illegalical,
I dodge indictments daily with a grin that's quite maniacal,
And fundraise off each courtroom scene in fashion so piratical.
My hair is like a creature that defies all laws botanical,
My speeches, while incoherent, stir up fervor so fanatical,
I mix up world locations in a way that’s geographical,
But folks say “he just tells it straight!”—it’s frankly pathological.
I claim to know the deep state and I call them out by numerals,
I’ve mastered saying “China” in a way that sounds like funeral bells,
My medical ideas include bleach as a solutional,
While pushing quack prescriptions like a Fox News pharma mutual.
My tariffs caused confusion that no economist could decrypt,
I trade advisors weekly like a blackjack dealer double-dipped,
I’m very good at claiming that I’ve won when I have surely slipped—
I am the very model of a MAGA miracle.
I know my mythic grievances, from Hillary to Biden’s son,
I yell about the border while I golf and tan in Florida sun,
I quote fake founding fathers and misstate the Constitution’s core,
Inventing First Amendment rights the framers never heard before.
I say I love the veterans, then mock them when they’re out of view,
And hold up Bibles awkwardly like props I barely ever knew,
I can’t recall specifics when I ramble on instinctively,
But crowds still cheer me wildly, though I’m lying so convincingly.
I once mistook Pelosi for a waitress at Mar-a-Lago,
Declared that windmills cause cancer, like a scientific Dr. Zhivago,
I mispronounce “Yosemite” and “Niger”—makes me cynical—
Yet somehow I'm still hailed as if my genius were original.
In short, in facts historical, strategic or statistical,
I’m weaker than a diet soda’s fizz that's gone quite mystical,
But still, in matters echo-chambered, viral, and hysterical,
I am the very model of a MAGA miracle.
