Food or recipe failures.

[Lisa]

I'm reasonably certain that anyone who cooks has had their share of recipes that didn't tun out as they thought that they would.

Last night I was wanting lemon bars so I found a recipe that was quick and easy and I had all of the ingredients in my pantry or fridge. It was Land-O-lakes recipe for lemon bars. I made the shortbread crust as directed, pre-heated the oven, while the shortbread was chilling in the freezer and then baked it for 20 minutes. While it was baking, I prepared the lemon topping by squeezing and zesting 3 lemon. The recipe only called for 1/4 of a cup of lemon juice plus 2 tsp of lemon zest. I had 1/2 cup of juice and a 1+ TBL of zest, so I thought that these were going to be very strong and tart, which is how I prefer them. I baked the bars and let them cool for 1 hour. They were a huge disappointment because even with the extra juice and zest there was very little lemon flavor. I wasted 4 eggs, 1/2 lb of butter, 3 lemons and 1 hour of time.

I'm going back to my previous recipe from Fine Cooking that has always worked and makes lemon bars so strong that you can only eat one or maybe 2 of them because they are so tart. Ive even swapped the lemons in that recipe with Key Limes to make key lime bars, which are amazingly tart, but addictive in the heat of summer.

Easy Lemon Bars

The flavor of lemon really comes through in these bars.

www.landolakes.com

This recipe takes a bit more time because you make lemon curd, but the taste is so much better.

Lemon Bars - Recipe - FineCooking

These bars will last several days in the refrigerator in an airtight container but are best when fresh. The recipe can be doubled. The quantities for flour and butter are given by weight (ounces) and by volume (cups or tablespoons); use either measurement.

www.finecooking.com

I might tell the story abiout how I tried to make Mole Poblano once. It was a disater worthy of Worst Cooks in the World. We ordered pizza that night.

 

[Infinite Chaos]

My food disaster is simple, basic white bread. I've actually walked away from another disaster just now even if my daughter is telling me it's OK and she'll love it anyway.

Somehow I'm not getting the gluten build-up correct and I have a low but wide loaf cooking in the oven. When I use almost exactly the same processes and ingredients in making foccaccia I have no problem and it rises beautifully but my bread spreads rather than rises.

Onwards and upwards!

 

[Lisa]

My food disaster is simple, basic white bread. I've actually walked away from another disaster just now even if my daughter is telling me it's OK and she'll love it anyway.

Somehow I'm not getting the gluten build-up correct and I have a low but wide loaf cooking in the oven. When I use almost exactly the same processes and ingredients in making foccaccia I have no problem and it rises beautifully but my bread spreads rather than rises.

Onwards and upwards!

If the dough works for foccacia then its one of 2 things;
a
1.) The dough is too wet. It should only be slightly sticky.

2.) You are not kneading it enough to develop the gluten.

Are you proofing it for a sufficient 30 minutes after shaping it before you bake it?

 

[ASHES]

I like making fried rice with leftover meat, and one time I made a leftover meatloaf fried rice.

Never again.

 

[Lisa]

I like making fried rice with leftover meat, and one time I made a leftover meatloaf fried rice.

Never again.

I suck at any kind of fried rice. Its better to pay $4.00 for takeout.

 

[Lord of Planar]

I'm reasonably certain that anyone who cooks has had their share of recipes that didn't tun out as they thought that they would.

Last night I was wanting lemon bars so I found a recipe that was quick and easy and I had all of the ingredients in my pantry or fridge. It was Land-O-lakes recipe for lemon bars. I made the shortbread crust as directed, pre-heated the oven, while the shortbread was chilling in the freezer and then baked it for 20 minutes. While it was baking, I prepared the lemon topping by squeezing and zesting 3 lemon. The recipe only called for 1/4 of a cup of lemon juice plus 2 tsp of lemon zest. I had 1/2 cup of juice and a 1+ TBL of zest, so I thought that these were going to be very strong and tart, which is how I prefer them. I baked the bars and let them cool for 1 hour. They were a huge disappointment because even with the extra juice and zest there was very little lemon flavor. I wasted 4 eggs, 1/2 lb of butter, 3 lemons and 1 hour of time.

I'm going back to my previous recipe from Fine Cooking that has always worked and makes lemon bars so strong that you can only eat one or maybe 2 of them because they are so tart. Ive even swapped the lemons in that recipe with Key Limes to make key lime bars, which are amazingly tart, but addictive in the heat of summer.

Easy Lemon Bars

The flavor of lemon really comes through in these bars.

www.landolakes.com

This recipe takes a bit more time because you make lemon curd, but the taste is so much better.

Lemon Bars - Recipe - FineCooking

These bars will last several days in the refrigerator in an airtight container but are best when fresh. The recipe can be doubled. The quantities for flour and butter are given by weight (ounces) and by volume (cups or tablespoons); use either measurement.

www.finecooking.com

I might tell the story abiout how I tried to make Mole Poblano once. It was a disater worthy of Worst Cooks in the World. We ordered pizza that night.

I know little about cooking, but I do know this. There is a chemistry that occurs between lemon juice and sugar when it's heated. Possibly the problem.

 

[Lisa]

I know little about cooking, but I do know this. There is a chemistry that occurs between lemon juice and sugar when it's heated. Possibly the problem.

They turned out fine but they just dont have much flavor. The shortbread base is actually quite good. I want the hit you in the face with a brick dose of ascorbic acid and its just not there.

 

[Slartibartfast]

I once cooked a roast and it was so tough and bad that I put it in the yard and neighborhood dog didn't even eat it.

 

[Helix]

I once tried to make chocolate chip cookies with fake sugar and margarine. The trash can really enjoyed the muffin things that resulted.

 

[Lord of Planar]

They turned out fine but they just dont have much flavor. The shortbread base is actually quite good. I want the hit you in the face with a brick dose of ascorbic acid and its just not there.

Use much less sugar maybe?

 

[Demon]

My grandmother used to make these fantastic biscuits. Six inch tall and melt in your mouth texture. I tried making them. Once. They came out about two inches tall and hard as rocks.

 

[Rexedgar]

When making pina coladas in the blender, keep a firm hold on the lid……..

 

[romance]

i made butter chicken in a crock pot once and i will NEVER do that again. It was horrible! I'm pretty sure the sauce curdled and it was so gross. My husband could barely make his way through it and he eats a lot of questionable things...

 

[JMR]

This was longer ago than I'd like to admit....but it is still a legend in the family. The first time I ever cooked a lentil, or ate a lentil I was asked by husband to make a lentil soup with the leftover ham bone from Easter dinner. I guess his mom always did that. OK, so I make a stock, and buy a bag of lentils, and put them in to simmer for hours as instructed. No one told me I'd have to keep adding liquid, so I basically served up a pot of cement. I hate lentil soup.

 

[Rexedgar]

i made butter chicken in a crock pot once and i will NEVER do that again. It was horrible! I'm pretty sure the sauce curdled and it was so gross. My husband could barely make his way through it and he eats a lot of questionable things...

I suffered throught the missus’ crock pot creations until I couldn’t take it anymore. No meat that came out was recognizable or edible. We finally reached an agreement….

 

[JMR]

I suffered throught the missus’ crock pot creations until I couldn’t take it anymore. No meat that came out was recognizable or edible. We finally reached an agreement….

Some people swear by them, but I've never cared for them, don't own one.

 

[Rexedgar]

This was longer ago than I'd like to admit....but it is still a legend in the family. The first time I ever cooked a lentil, or ate a lentil I was asked by husband to make a lentil soup with the leftover ham bone from Easter dinner. I guess his mom always did that. OK, so I make a stock, and buy a bag of lentils, and put them in to simmer for hours as instructed. No one told me I'd have to keep adding liquid, so I basically served up a pot of cement. I hate lentil soup.

Who was on pots and pans that night?

 

[Rexedgar]

Some people swear by them, but I've never cared for them, don't own one.

I think ours is now a planter…..

 

[JMR]

Who was on pots and pans that night?

Probably me, I don't recall that part.

After the lentil disaster, we went on to Cassoulet. I had learned my lesson about adding liquid. Strange thing about Cassoulet is that it is never gone. Just add more stock the next day, it grows back to original size. You can eat it for a month...lol

 

[btthegreat]

I have cooked for years for seniors. Once I was supposed to make Augratin potatoes using sliced potatoes and some leftover cheese sauce sitting in the fridge from another recipe. Grabbed the container full of thickened yellow orange goop , added cheese, some milk a little mustard powder, and a hint of white pepper , gave it a quick stir and tossed in the sliced potatoes, before throwing it in the oven to heat through.

You have no idea how much left- over butterscotch pudding from a can, can look like refrigerated cheese sauce in the semi darkness of a walk in refrigerator . I took it out five minutes before meal service, smelled the caramelized butterscotch pudding, and knew I was dead meat. I still cannot figure out why I did not smell it when I was stirring that cheese in.

 

[Lisa]

I once cooked a roast and it was so tough and bad that I put it in the yard and neighborhood dog didn't even eat it.

I bought fresh catfish fillets once that smelled so bad when I got them home that even my cat wouldn't eat it. $12.00 a lb in the trash.

 

[JMR]

I have cooked for years for seniors. Once I was supposed to make Augratin potatoes using sliced potatoes and some leftover cheese sauce sitting in the fridge from another recipe. Grabbed the container full of thickened yellow orange goop , added cheese, some milk a little mustard powder, and a hint of white pepper , gave it a quick stir and tossed in the sliced potatoes, before throwing it in the oven to heat through.

You have no idea how much left- over butterscotch pudding from a can, can look like refrigerated cheese sauce in the semi darkness of a walk in refrigerator . I took it out five minutes before meal service, smelled the caramelized butterscotch pudding, and knew I was dead meat. I still cannot figure out why I did not smell it when I was stirring that cheese in.

Points for creativity....

 

[Infinite Chaos]

If the dough works for foccacia then its one of 2 things;
a
1.) The dough is too wet. It should only be slightly sticky.

2.) You are not kneading it enough to develop the gluten.

I think I'm guilty of both. The dough was a bit wet on Saturday but I definitely have not been kneading enough or vigorously enough I think. Today was drier but still the same result - by process of elimination, I've realised I'm not kneading enough.

~ meatloaf ~

This is one of those things that separates America from the UK. I hear about meatloaf in films, I see people in video eating it but I have no idea exactly what it is. I've asked friends and nobody really knows even with google pictures.
I just don't understand the concept.

This was longer ago than I'd like to admit....but it is still a legend in the family. The first time I ever cooked a lentil, or ate a lentil I was asked by husband to make a lentil soup with the leftover ham bone from Easter dinner. I guess his mom always did that. OK, so I make a stock, and buy a bag of lentils, and put them in to simmer for hours as instructed. No one told me I'd have to keep adding liquid, so I basically served up a pot of cement. I hate lentil soup.

Oh boy, you reminded me of a broccolli and stilton soup my partner and I once tried. We'd had some in a restaurant and loved it - bought a blender to try it at home and accidentally made a week's worth of the most miserable soup imaginable.
We gave up after 1 day and had take-away the rest of the week as consolation.

 

[Demon]

I have cooked for years for seniors. Once I was supposed to make Augratin potatoes using sliced potatoes and some leftover cheese sauce sitting in the fridge from another recipe. Grabbed the container full of thickened yellow orange goop , added cheese, some milk a little mustard powder, and a hint of white pepper , gave it a quick stir and tossed in the sliced potatoes, before throwing it in the oven to heat through.

You have no idea how much left- over butterscotch pudding from a can, can look like refrigerated cheese sauce in the semi darkness of a walk in refrigerator . I took it out five minutes before meal service, smelled the caramelized butterscotch pudding, and knew I was dead meat. I still cannot figure out why I did not smell it when I was stirring that cheese in.

I think this is the winner!

 

[ASHES]

This is one of those things that separates America from the UK. I hear about meatloaf in films, I see people in video eating it but I have no idea exactly what it is. I've asked friends and nobody really knows even with google pictures. I just don't understand the concept.

I never had meatloaf in my quarter century in the US, only started making it once I came to Canada. Here's some real life pictures of meatloaves I made:

Air fryer/pressure cooker meatloaf, mashed potatoes and corn.
View attachment 67324355

Air fryer meatloaf and potatoes, with my own meatloaf recipe this time. It was much better than the recipe's recipe I used last time. Forgot to steam broccoli and asparagus in time so had creamed corn for veg.
View attachment 67328639

Meatloaf and leftover mashed potatoes.

View attachment 67332676

Meatloaf, mashed potatoes and corn.

View attachment 67339595

In my meatloaf I put:

Ground beef and/or pork
Ketchup
Honey Mustard
Worcestershire sauce
Salt/pepper/garlic powder/etc
crushed up crackers or breadcrumbs
egg