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Ermmm ... I'd like to buy a vowel?

BDBoop

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UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
Jeremy Paxman:
What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?

Contestant:
Hom o sexuals..

Jeremy Paxman:
No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you


BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston:
Where do you think Cambridge University is?

Contestant:
Geography isn't my strong point.

Jamie Theakston:
There's a clue in the title.

Contestant:
Leicester


BBC NORFOLK
Stewart White:
Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?

Contestant:
I don't know.

Stewart White:
I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?

Contestant:
Arm

Stewart White:
Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?

Contestant:
Strong.

Stewart White:
Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?

Contestant:
Louis

Stewart White:
Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?

Contestant:
Frank Sinatra?


LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS )
Alex Trelinski:
What is the capital of Italy ?

Contestant:
France .

Trelinski:
France is another country. Try again.

Contestant:
Oh, um, Benidorm.

Trelinski:
Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?

Contestant:
Sorry, I don't know.

Trelinski:
Just guess a country then.

Contestant:
Paris .

THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Anne Robinson:
Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party?

Contestant:
The Conservative Party.

BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )
DJ Mark:
For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?

Ruth from Rowley Regis:
I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoyne:
What was Gandhi's first name?

Contestant:
Goosey?

GWR FM ( Bristol )
Presenter:
What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?

Contestant:
I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO? MANCHESTER )
Phil:
What's 11 squared?

Contestant:
I don't know.

Phil:
I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.

Contestant:
Is it five?

RICHARD AND JUDY
Richard:
Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?

Contestant:
Forrest Gump.

RICHARD AND JUDY
Richard:
On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?

Contestant:
Er. ... ...

Richard:
He makes bread . . .

Contestant:
Er .. .......

Richard:
He makes cakes . . .

Contestant:
Kipling Street ?

LINCS FM PHONE-IN
Presenter:
Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

Contestant:
Barcelona .

Presenter:
I was really after the name of a country.

Contestant:
I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain ..

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Question:
What is the world's largest continent?

Contestant:
The Pacific..

ROCK FM ( PRESTON )
Presenter:
Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.

Contestant:
Who Framed Roger Rabbit?


THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre:
What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?

Contestant:
Magna Carta?

JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
James O'Brien:
How many kings of England have been called Henry?

Contestant:
Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth .. ER. ER ... Three?

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )
Chris Searle:
In which European country is Mount Etna ?

Caller:
Japan .

Chris Searle:
I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.

Caller:
Er ........... Mexico ?

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )
Paul Wappat:
How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

Contestant (long pause):
Fourteen days.

DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
Daryl Denham:
In which country would you spend shekels?

Contestant:
Holland ?

Daryl Denham:
Try the next letter of the alphabet..

Contestant:
Iceland ? Ireland ?

Daryl Denham: (helpfully)
It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?

Contestant:
No.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Phil Wood:
What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?

Contestant:
Er... ..... ..

Phil Wood:
It's got two syllables . . . Kor .

Contestant:
Blimey?

Phil Wood:
Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . .

Contestant:
(Silence)

Phil Wood:
OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . ..

Contestant:
Walked?

THE VAULT
Melanie Sykes:
What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?

Contestant:
Nostalgia.

LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
Presenter:
What religion was Guy Fawkes?

Contestant:
Jewish.

Presenter:
That's close enough.

STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
Wright:
Johnny Weissmuller died on this day.. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?

Contestant:
Jesus.
 

BDBoop

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I have to disagree. Jesus swinging through on a vine wearing a loincloth trumps eff-all.
 

Ockham

Noblesse oblige
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Reminds me of this sketch from MP.



 

BDBoop

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Definitely memorable. Thanks for the laugh out loud. :)
 
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