Decorating graves with flowers and visiting graves

[Daisy]

Satan did not create hospitals. Mankind did, for good of mankind, and no thanks to any gods. Hospitals are a good thing for those who live in reality. Good thing some human beings face that reality and the to make things better for us all and not depend on some fantasy about a perfect future that will never come.

Baloney, never said he did...his actions are what caused the necessity for hospitals, though, as well as grave yards or anything else to do with sickness and death...

 

[devildavid]

Baloney, never said he did...his actions are what caused the necessity for hospitals, though, as well as grave yards or anything else to do with sickness and death...

Oh sorry, Satan did not cause cemeteries and hospitals. Slight technical difference.

 

[Rumpelstil]

Now why would I do that?

Of course you should!
If you are insulting other people for using a term like "decorating" that does not find grace in your noble eyes, then you should supply us with the "correct" term.

 

[Rumpelstil]

So, what is the purpose of putting flowers on the grave of a dead person? Who does it help? Who does it benefit if that person is gone?

You don't know what you are talking about.

 

[Daisy]

You don't know what you are talking about.

There you go, talking to yourself again...

 

[nota bene]

Of course you should!
If you are insulting other people for using a term like "decorating" that does not find grace in your noble eyes, then you should supply us with the "correct" term.

I insulted no one. I did express my opinion of the word, and if you don't like that opinion, too bad. Scroll by.

 

[Rumpelstil]

I insulted no one.

You did insult.

And you were un-able to name a better word than "decorating" - after you took such serious offence because of the word "decorating" which according to you is in bad taste.

 

[nota bene]

You did insult.

And you were un-able to name a better word than "decorating" - after you took such serious offence because of the word "decorating" which according to you is in bad taste.

If you choose to take offense where none was intended, as so so very frequently do, then enjoy feeling insulted.

 

[Daisy]

You did insult.

And you were un-able to name a better word than "decorating" - after you took such serious offence because of the word "decorating" which according to you is in bad taste.

And you insult no one...riiiight....

 

[Rumpelstil]

If

I do not enjoy.
Well, you decided not to understand my point.
Case closed.

 

[nota bene]

I do not enjoy.
Well, you decided not to understand my point.
Case closed.

Not really. You have yet to acknowledge how you twisted my words to suit your need to play insulted.

 

[bearpoker]

I don't like the word "decorating" because, to me, it trivializes the remembrance.

I have to confess that I never thought of the term in that light, but I can see your point. That is the accepted term though, so we can hardly blame Rumpel for using it. Instead of "decorating the grave", it might be better to think of it as a token of remembrance, or a tribute to a life that has passed.

 

[Rumpelstil]

What word would you use if you plant flowers on a grave?
So far nobody has made any suggestion.
If have only been criticised again and again for my use of "decorating" for "schmücken."

 

[nota bene]

I have to confess that I never thought of the term in that light, but I can see your point. That is the accepted term though, so we can hardly blame Rumpel for using it. Instead of "decorating the grave", it might be better to think of it as a token of remembrance, or a tribute to a life that has passed.

I didn't blame him; I only said that I didn't like the term "decorating." I uphold the tradition and have said that too. I'm really glad that what I said caused you to reflect and appreciate your seeing my point. I think "token of remembrance" is lovely, and this phrase expresses my feelings much more closely.

And I would add here that for some, leaving flowers is part of fidelity and of keeping watch.

 

[Rumpelstil]

That is the accepted term though, so we can hardly blame Rumpel for using it.

Thank you!
All the more as English is not my mother tongue.
And none of the English speakers has ever tried to help me with another word.

 

[Rumpelstil]

I didn't blame him

You did.
And you went on and on and on about it - without offering any help.

 

[Rumpelstil]

And I would add here that for some, leaving flowers is part of fidelity and of keeping watch.

I did not think so much of "leaving flowers" there - rather of planting flowers there.

 

[OlNate]

What do you think of that traditon?

I said other.... I don't think it's good or bad, except on an individual level - for some people ritual provides comfort, and for that person this is good. For others is won't be meaningful, or it may make their grief worse, and for those folks it is bad. I don't believe the dead care about flowers being left by earth they have joined with...but I don't think that's a reason not to do it, if it brings one comfort and helps them resolve their grief.

 

[nota bene]

What word would you use if you plant flowers on a grave?
So far nobody has made any suggestion.
If have only been criticised again and again for my use of "decorating" for "schmücken."

But I did. In post 40, I said, "I don't know that there is a single word that would fit. 'Decorating' is a very commonly used word and is even part of official city documents...." In Post 43, I said, "No, I didn't say that no one word fits; I said that I didn't know. It's not 'adornment,' nor is it 'personalizing.' I've also acknowledged that 'grave decoration' is a common term. I can think of several phrases that more closely represent, again, for me, what I'm doing. It's not 'decorating.'"

 

[nota bene]

I said other.... I don't think it's good or bad, except on an individual level - for some people ritual provides comfort, and for that person this is good. For others is won't be meaningful, or it may make their grief worse, and for those folks it is bad. I don't believe the dead care about flowers being left by earth they have joined with...but I don't think that's a reason not to do it, if it brings one comfort and helps them resolve their grief.

Yes, it's a uniquely individual decision. For some, it is just too terrible, particularly visiting children. They can't do it. This doesn't mean that they have forgotten or that they don't care.

 

[OlNate]

Yes, it's a uniquely individual decision. For some, it is just too terrible, particularly visiting children. They can't do it. This doesn't mean that they have forgotten or that they don't care.

Yeah...it's a tough one for me, to be honest. I don't get over grief well...it's more a process of bottling than anything resembling healthy...hehe... But it's funny how reactions go... My mother told me a few years ago she planned to be cremated, and despite not being much of a cemetery person, the thought of not being able to "visit" her filled me with sadness. I talked to her about it and she changed her mind - she knows I struggle with it, so she thought she was making an unselfish decision, but enjoyed the idea of being visited - admitting it was a silly thought, as she has no doubt she won't be there.

Burial customs have been a thing as long as human beings have been on earth, and are as varied as the human beings who observe them. The process of saying goodbye is tough, and there is no one size fits all approach.

 

[OlNate]

Almost an exact duplicate thread, yet you won't answer simple, direct questions in the first one.

https://debatepolitics.com/threads/...l-day-in-the-year-for-visiting-graves.426016/

Pathetic.

What makes it "good"?
What purpose does it serve?
What's the point?

What do YOU think it says about the people who don't visit graves?

Are you gonna grow some man-pants and answer some questions, or just create inane threads then duck & dodge any attempt to discuss the topic?

You've gotten really weirdly angry down here. You good, bud?

 

[bearpoker]

Thank you!
All the more as English is not my mother tongue.
And none of the English speakers has ever tried to help me with another word.

That's because there isn't one. We're stuck with "decorate". It's not your fault. This could actually be an interesting discussion, but death is a difficult topic for almost all of us.

 

[bearpoker]

Yeah...it's a tough one for me, to be honest. I don't get over grief well...it's more a process of bottling than anything resembling healthy...hehe... But it's funny how reactions go... My mother told me a few years ago she planned to be cremated, and despite not being much of a cemetery person, the thought of not being able to "visit" her filled me with sadness. I talked to her about it and she changed her mind - she knows I struggle with it, so she thought she was making an unselfish decision, but enjoyed the idea of being visited - admitting it was a silly thought, as she has no doubt she won't be there.

Burial customs have been a thing as long as human beings have been on earth, and are as varied as the human beings who observe them. The process of saying goodbye is tough, and there is no one size fits all approach.

Years ago I watch an interview with Elizabeth Edwards, before a town hall that her husband, a senator and then presidential candidate, was holding at George Mason University. She spoke about their son who had died. They had a chair dedicated to him in the auditorium. She said that she liked to sit in "his chair" to feel close to him and liked to see students sitting in his chair as well. Of course her son never sat in the chair. It didn't exist during his lifetime. It was her association that brought her comfort. There are all sorts of ways to use physical locations or objects to associate with the memory of a loved one. My husband passed away 11 years ago. His coats still hang in the hall closet and I have no plans to remove them.

 

[OlNate]

Years ago I watch an interview with Elizabeth Edwards, before a town hall that her husband, a senator and then presidential candidate, was holding at George Mason University. She spoke about their son who had died. They had a chair dedicated to him in the auditorium. She said that she liked to sit in "his chair" to feel close to him and liked to see students sitting in his chair as well. Of course her son never sat in the chair. It didn't exist during his lifetime. It was her association that brought her comfort. There are all sorts of ways to use physical locations or objects to associate with the memory of a loved one. My husband passed away 11 years ago. His coats still hang in the hall closet and I have no plans to remove them.

The entry in my phone for my grandmother still says Grandma and Grandpa...despite my grandfather being gone for six years now. I don't know if that's a comfort, or a the fear that changing it would be a betrayal somehow. There are any number of rituals I observe that pertain to him, some I didn't even realize I was doing until they were pointed out to me. Love does not end just because life does.