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Death by TP

M

meanskin

This is pretty interesting. I am not quite sure what to make of it. However, I did buy 72 rolls of toilet paper, just in case. :doh

Due to a recent study done by the International Society of Scientists for Hygienics and Life (ISSHL) there appears to be a recent disruption in the economy as far as Toilet Paper is concerned. “It appears, that there is a great risk for consumers that use toilet paper”, the study says.

Toilet paper has been known for a long time to contain the deadly toxin “Dioxin”. The study was brought on when scientist wondered just how “deadly” this toxin was and of course, how it related to the traces found in toilet paper.

Dioxin is the popular name for the family of chlorinated organic compounds comprising of Polychlorinated Dibenzo Furans (PCDF) and Polychlorinated Dibenzo Dioxins (PCDD). PCDD/F's have been shown to bioaccumulate in humans and wildlife due to their lipophilic properties.

It has already been known that Dioxins build up in living tissue (bioaccumulate) over time, so even small exposures may accumulate to dangerous levels. The effects of Dioxin can be:
• Developmental abnormalities in the enamel of children's teeth.
• Damage to the Immune systems.
• Endometriosis
• Birth defects
• Diabetes
• And at least in laboratory animals, increased rates of liver and lung cancer are observed

In fact, the study even points out that during the Cold War, the KGB used Dioxin to induce suicides. Dioxin was described as a mind-altering substance, which caused depression and would definitely cause the person to commit suicide, sooner or later.

The study was conducted over a period of two years, which was started in November of 2003. Two groups were tested in a controlled environment. The study shows the difference in the two groups was that they either used everyday toilet paper that contained Dioxin as well as other known chemicals and the other used a safer alternative.

The study concludes that Dioxin played a major role in the psychological and physical health of the test subjects. “It is really amazing and even scary to think that there was such a drastic difference in the two,” said study co-founder Michael Levy. “We actually found that a lot of the health and mental problems found today, can be traced to an everyday convenience.”

Dioxins are present in minuscule amounts in a wide range of materials used by humans — including practically all substances manufactured using plastics, resins or bleaches. Such materials include tampons, and a wide variety of food packaging substances.

Levy and his colleagues suggest that the “safe group” were banned from using any products known to contain Dioxin. “This allowed us to see the direct effects on our lives that Dioxin and toilet paper have,” he says.

It appears that the major toilet paper corporations aren’t ignoring the issue either. An anonymous spokesperson for Procter & Gamble admits that they are shocked by the results in the study. “We had no idea. We always knew that there were health risks, but not to this degree.”

Due to the controversy of the study and its findings, the actual results won’t be available to the public until sometime late this summer. “We don’t want to cause another episode where the public panics and things get out of hand,” says Professor John Edwards, a specialist in sociology and economics. “They [the corporations] are doing everything they can to fix the problem.”

Margaret Guzman, who has worked in a factory that manufactures toilet paper, among other things says, “It’s really a mess out there. Somebody made a major boo-boo out there and now we are doing everything we can to cover the problem up.”

As it turns out, the manufactures are doing everything they can to make a “safer paper” the standard. Sometime in late February to early March, there will be a recall on all the stock available in stores nationwide. “Hopefully, we will be able to replace the supply and shoppers will never know the difference,” says an anonymous source. “Thanks to the cooperation of those involved in the study and the science community, we should be able to keep this hush-hush.”

Various sources suggest that when the results are available, there will be a lot of people demanding answers. “We don’t want another scene similar to the onslaught that the fast-food industry and cigarette manufactures got,” a name-withheld CEO says. “If we can fix the problem before the actual information is available, then we should be pretty safe from any law suits.”

When asked about the likeability of a clean swap taking place, he says “More than likely, there will be a shortage of toilet paper. All of the major companies are working together on this one. We would really like to keep that shortage down to about two weeks. Of course, we could end up making the swap under their noses. Nobody is really sure what is going to happen, we just want the transition to be as pleasant as feasibly possible.”

Our best guess is that a toilet paper shortage would cause a bigger panic on the public than any study could dream of making. Then again, we aren’t in a corporation risking major law suits.

The study was conducted at Wainthorp Laboratories, located in Cincinnati, Ohio.
 

Stace

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Do you have some sort of source for this?
 

danarhea

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Stace said:
Do you have some sort of source for this?
Yea, I want to see the source too. Can you really get high using toilet paper? :)
 
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meanskin said:
This is pretty interesting. I am not quite sure what to make of it. However, I did buy 72 rolls of toilet paper, just in case. :doh

Due to a recent study done by the International Society of Scientists for Hygienics and Life (ISSHL) there appears to be a recent disruption in the economy as far as Toilet Paper is concerned. “It appears, that there is a great risk for consumers that use toilet paper”, the study says.

Toilet paper has been known for a long time to contain the deadly toxin “Dioxin”. The study was brought on when scientist wondered just how “deadly” this toxin was and of course, how it related to the traces found in toilet paper.

Dioxin is the popular name for the family of chlorinated organic compounds comprising of Polychlorinated Dibenzo Furans (PCDF) and Polychlorinated Dibenzo Dioxins (PCDD). PCDD/F's have been shown to bioaccumulate in humans and wildlife due to their lipophilic properties.

It has already been known that Dioxins build up in living tissue (bioaccumulate) over time, so even small exposures may accumulate to dangerous levels. The effects of Dioxin can be:
• Developmental abnormalities in the enamel of children's teeth.
• Damage to the Immune systems.
• Endometriosis
• Birth defects
• Diabetes
• And at least in laboratory animals, increased rates of liver and lung cancer are observed

In fact, the study even points out that during the Cold War, the KGB used Dioxin to induce suicides. Dioxin was described as a mind-altering substance, which caused depression and would definitely cause the person to commit suicide, sooner or later.

The study was conducted over a period of two years, which was started in November of 2003. Two groups were tested in a controlled environment. The study shows the difference in the two groups was that they either used everyday toilet paper that contained Dioxin as well as other known chemicals and the other used a safer alternative.

The study concludes that Dioxin played a major role in the psychological and physical health of the test subjects. “It is really amazing and even scary to think that there was such a drastic difference in the two,” said study co-founder Michael Levy. “We actually found that a lot of the health and mental problems found today, can be traced to an everyday convenience.”

Dioxins are present in minuscule amounts in a wide range of materials used by humans — including practically all substances manufactured using plastics, resins or bleaches. Such materials include tampons, and a wide variety of food packaging substances.

Levy and his colleagues suggest that the “safe group” were banned from using any products known to contain Dioxin. “This allowed us to see the direct effects on our lives that Dioxin and toilet paper have,” he says.

It appears that the major toilet paper corporations aren’t ignoring the issue either. An anonymous spokesperson for Procter & Gamble admits that they are shocked by the results in the study. “We had no idea. We always knew that there were health risks, but not to this degree.”

Due to the controversy of the study and its findings, the actual results won’t be available to the public until sometime late this summer. “We don’t want to cause another episode where the public panics and things get out of hand,” says Professor John Edwards, a specialist in sociology and economics. “They [the corporations] are doing everything they can to fix the problem.”

Margaret Guzman, who has worked in a factory that manufactures toilet paper, among other things says, “It’s really a mess out there. Somebody made a major boo-boo out there and now we are doing everything we can to cover the problem up.”

As it turns out, the manufactures are doing everything they can to make a “safer paper” the standard. Sometime in late February to early March, there will be a recall on all the stock available in stores nationwide. “Hopefully, we will be able to replace the supply and shoppers will never know the difference,” says an anonymous source. “Thanks to the cooperation of those involved in the study and the science community, we should be able to keep this hush-hush.”

Various sources suggest that when the results are available, there will be a lot of people demanding answers. “We don’t want another scene similar to the onslaught that the fast-food industry and cigarette manufactures got,” a name-withheld CEO says. “If we can fix the problem before the actual information is available, then we should be pretty safe from any law suits.”

When asked about the likeability of a clean swap taking place, he says “More than likely, there will be a shortage of toilet paper. All of the major companies are working together on this one. We would really like to keep that shortage down to about two weeks. Of course, we could end up making the swap under their noses. Nobody is really sure what is going to happen, we just want the transition to be as pleasant as feasibly possible.”

Our best guess is that a toilet paper shortage would cause a bigger panic on the public than any study could dream of making. Then again, we aren’t in a corporation risking major law suits.

The study was conducted at Wainthorp Laboratories, located in Cincinnati, Ohio.
Dioxin, like all carcinogens or toxins are dose dependent. If you look anywhere in the world you will find toxins at some level. What is really important is the doseage. We have a liver in our bodies to deal with the low levels of toxins and carcinogens that will always occur in our environment regardless of industry.

But if you want to wipe your backside with leaves feel free to do so. In the meantime I'll wipe mine with dangerous tiolet paper. :mrgreen:
 
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