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Cancelling Christmas?

americanwoman

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If your child is being constantly naughty, is cancelling Christmas too extreme - Yes or No?

After all, the idea is if you're nice you get presents but if you're naughty you get a lump of coal. Yet, I rarely see that concept actually applied as every brat I know will be showing off their new phone or gaming system on Christmas.

Am I the asshole for cancelling Christmas if my child is constantly having an attitude acting spoiled, disrespectful, and selfish, getting in trouble at school, and not doing what they are supposed to do? What's the point that if they know if they are bad they are still getting rewarded for their bad behavior? Or is Christmas a once a year event that should give the kid a one day break?
 

Hawkeye10

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If your child is being constantly naughty, is cancelling Christmas too extreme - Yes or No?

After all, the idea is if you're nice you get presents but if you're naughty you get a lump of coal. Yet, I rarely see that concept actually applied as every brat I know will be showing off their new phone or gaming system on Christmas.

Am I the asshole for cancelling Christmas if my child is constantly having an attitude acting spoiled, disrespectful, and selfish, getting in trouble at school, and not doing what they are supposed to do? What's the point that if they know if they are bad they are still getting rewarded for their bad behavior? Or is Christmas a once a year event that should give the kid a one day break?
If you cant get Christmas done in your home then you have failed.
 

Lovebug

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To me, Christmas isn't about rewards or lumps of coal. I'm also more about conversation than the threat of withdrawing positive reinforcement.
 

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To me, Christmas isn't about rewards or lumps of coal. I'm also more about conversation than the threat of withdrawing positive reinforcement.

It's about Krampus!
 

Helix

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While my wife and I have made "Christmas is canceled!" jokes privately, I don't think that we'd ever consider actually doing it. Seems like that's going a bit far.
 

americanwoman

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While my wife and I have made "Christmas is canceled!" jokes privately, I don't think that we'd ever consider actually doing it. Seems like that's going a bit far.


To me, Christmas isn't about rewards or lumps of coal. I'm also more about conversation than the threat of withdrawing positive reinforcement.

To be a little more clear and add on it wouldn't be complete cancelling Christmas, more they would get things like clothes, toothbrushes, soap, etc... necessities instead of things like cheap plastic toys or expensive electronics, things they actually want.
 

Lovebug

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To be a little more clear and add on it wouldn't be complete cancelling Christmas, more they would get things like clothes, toothbrushes, soap, etc... necessities instead of things like cheap plastic toys or expensive electronics, things they actually want.

Volunteering in an animal shelter or soup kitchen, or donating to the same. It is what we do. No gifts, period. Giving comes in many forms.
 

Hawkeye10

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But does it have to be done on their terms or yours?

They need to agree to be on good behavior during Christmas, but there should be no degrade of the day because of long running problems between you and your kid.....it is a day of amnesty....you let all of that go for the day....if they will agree to let all of that go for a day.
 

Hawkeye10

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To be a little more clear and add on it wouldn't be complete cancelling Christmas, more they would get things like clothes, toothbrushes, soap, etc... necessities instead of things like cheap plastic toys or expensive electronics, things they actually want.

OMG no, that would certainly make your situation worse.
 

Hawkeye10

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lol okay but still they do need those things!

My parents did that in the effort to cheap out on Christmas, me and my brothers never forgave them.

I like the volunteer thing if you can find something like that, but warn against completely changing the traditions on account of your problem with your kid...that is like letting terrorism win....dont do that.
 
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Dittohead not!

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If your child is being constantly naughty, is cancelling Christmas too extreme - Yes or No?

After all, the idea is if you're nice you get presents but if you're naughty you get a lump of coal. Yet, I rarely see that concept actually applied as every brat I know will be showing off their new phone or gaming system on Christmas.

Am I the asshole for cancelling Christmas if my child is constantly having an attitude acting spoiled, disrespectful, and selfish, getting in trouble at school, and not doing what they are supposed to do? What's the point that if they know if they are bad they are still getting rewarded for their bad behavior? Or is Christmas a once a year event that should give the kid a one day break?

You wrap a few empty boxes, put his name on them, and put them under the tree. Every time the kid acts up, you toss one into the fireplace.
 

americanwoman

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My parents did that in the effort to cheap out on Christmas, me and my brothers never forgave them.

I like the volunteer thing if you can find something like that, but warn against completely changing the traditions on account of your problem with your kid...that is like letting terrorism win....dont do that.

Thanks for your advise. I really, really like the volunteer ideas and will probably do something along those lines.
 

mike2810

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If your child is being constantly naughty, is cancelling Christmas too extreme - Yes or No?

After all, the idea is if you're nice you get presents but if you're naughty you get a lump of coal. Yet, I rarely see that concept actually applied as every brat I know will be showing off their new phone or gaming system on Christmas.

Am I the asshole for cancelling Christmas if my child is constantly having an attitude acting spoiled, disrespectful, and selfish, getting in trouble at school, and not doing what they are supposed to do? What's the point that if they know if they are bad they are still getting rewarded for their bad behavior? Or is Christmas a once a year event that should give the kid a one day break?

I would not cancel Christmas. I would limit the presents for the child. The presents would be not what they want, but what clothes, school supplies they need.

We always emphasized what Christmas really means and downplayed the present part.
 

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My parents did that in the effort to cheap out on Christmas, me and by brothers never forgave them.

I like the volunteer thing if you can find something like that, but warn against completely changing the traditions on account of your problem with your kid...that is like letting terrorism win....dont do that.

Sometimes, it's necessary to "cheap out" on Christmas. Kids need to know that life isn't magic and sometimes the money just isn't there. Unintentionally, we have decoupled Christmas and gifts. My kids have learned to ask for stuff during the year and ask for it to "count as Christmas" when they see evidence that money is available.
 

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@americanwoman Do you answer if your kids ask how much money is in the bank?
 

Hawkeye10

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Sometimes, it's necessary to "cheap out" on Christmas. Kids need to know that life isn't magic and sometimes the money just isn't there. Unintentionally, we have decoupled Christmas and gifts. My kids have learned to ask for stuff during the year and ask for it to "count as Christmas" when they see evidence that money is available.

Getting stuff on Christmas that the parents were going to have to get anyways feels like betrayal, what Americanwoman is considering is adding insult to injury.
 

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No, I wouldn't cancel Christmas at all. I would do a good one, and make the kids happy on that day.

Life's too short. And those minor things that occur with their growing, are just that: minor things that occur when their growing. In a few years, those things will be forgotten or greatly diminished.

Be bigger. Do the right thing. Make your kids' Christmas a happy one they'll remember all their lives. Then discipline them as needed the other 363 days of the year (I subtracted their birthday here, too).

Good luck!
 

PirateMk1

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If your child is being constantly naughty, is cancelling Christmas too extreme - Yes or No?

After all, the idea is if you're nice you get presents but if you're naughty you get a lump of coal. Yet, I rarely see that concept actually applied as every brat I know will be showing off their new phone or gaming system on Christmas.

Am I the asshole for cancelling Christmas if my child is constantly having an attitude acting spoiled, disrespectful, and selfish, getting in trouble at school, and not doing what they are supposed to do? What's the point that if they know if they are bad they are still getting rewarded for their bad behavior? Or is Christmas a once a year event that should give the kid a one day break?

Put a lump of coal in the stocking and return the presents for the offender in question, the rest of the family get whatever is normal. The gathering of family goes on as usual. Don't make big deal of it. They will get the hint. Kids are very perceptive that way.
 

Omega Man

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If your child is being constantly naughty, is cancelling Christmas too extreme - Yes or No?

After all, the idea is if you're nice you get presents but if you're naughty you get a lump of coal. Yet, I rarely see that concept actually applied as every brat I know will be showing off their new phone or gaming system on Christmas.

Am I the asshole for cancelling Christmas if my child is constantly having an attitude acting spoiled, disrespectful, and selfish, getting in trouble at school, and not doing what they are supposed to do? What's the point that if they know if they are bad they are still getting rewarded for their bad behavior? Or is Christmas a once a year event that should give the kid a one day break?

Celebrate the season with your child; but keep it to perhaps one modest, albeit memorable gift.


OM
 
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