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Officer Dave Farrar took the complaint of a man drinking in public. This is not allowed for various reasons. We understand the drinking part. Its the public part that causes an issue. We suggest looking for more private locations to imbibe, but we are not judging you. Just giving free advice based on state statutes. When Farrar found the staggering man, he inquired about the fact that the man had been drinking on someone else’s steps. The man told Officer Farrar that it was not important because he was, “done now, so it doesn’t matter.” This thinking is logical. We accept it. Not as well as Spock would have, but Farrar is not a fan of Spock. Not because Spock is a bad person but because Farrar is more of a realist and since he is a cop, we do the backstroke in the pool of realism. As a matter of fact, we don’t even towel off the realism. We like to “air dry.” Farrar asked his name and the man said, “it’s illegal for me to tell you my name because then you’ll know I have an arrest warrant for unpaid fines.” This piqued the young realist’s interest. The man did not lie. His warrant was active and he went to jail. Live long and prosper my friend.

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Reports that start with, “A shirtless male approached my cruiser” usually end up with a soundtrack that includes the tinkling of handcuff chains. This one is no different. The man claimed his shirt had been ripped off by a female as she pulled him out of a cab. She was located by the sound of her voice. Which was like a typical voice, yet louder and more annoying. Her speech was slurred and she approached Officer Burns only to be told that she was too close. She refused to back away and before a true and formal introduction could be facilitated, she was arrested. She was scrappy and during the search incident to arrest, she was disarmed of a lovely necklace that was not only fashionable, but a knife as well. The lady was then taken to jail for the crime of disorderly conduct. She had some experience with the shackles as she was able to slip them off during the short ride to jail. A veritable, knife toting, Houdini. Only louder. The shirtless male left the area before we could speak to him again. I would say he was smarter than all of us. Godspeed, shirtless male. Godspeed.

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