Dear Canada:
Who would have thought, a year or two ago, that things would be looking so good for you? It all starts off so innocently, doesn't it? Without really meaning to, you find yourself at the top of the international heap. All the cool kids who used to lord it over you are suddenly at the bottom. Your prim moral certitude and sense of restraint turned out to be your ace. The conservative economic policies that made you seem so boring, so beige, so unerringly moderate, paid off. And then some.
In other words, my dear nation, you are vindicated. And frankly, it feels pretty good. You're a teeny bit chuffed with yourself, and why not? It's nice to be appreciated, for once, especially when you're such a modest wallflower.
And then your success builds on itself. Your ego blooms. You've got a hot date with the Olympics and a health-care system that's the envy of your neighbours to the south. Your biggest city is booming, the real-estate market is in a lather of condo development and bank profits are on the rise. Suddenly you're riding high, while the cool kids of yesteryear are trying to figure out how to fix the mess they've made of their lives. I mean, they've got issues you don't – rising unemployment, decimated markets, bank bailouts to contend with.
But hey, it's not your problem, right? Your consumer confidence is strong, you're beginning to emerge from the cocoon of cultural inferiority that has been your psychological home for too many years to count. In metaphoric terms, you're losing some weight, getting a new haircut and enjoying your smaller, firmer butt. Slowly but surely, you're beginning to believe your own hype.
So you think, why should I bother calling my old friends back? Why should I drive this beat-up car? I'm a star. Don't you hear me? A star! You throw caution to the wind. You decide to take a couple of months off from being a legislative democracy. You need a vacation, after all, to rest up for your other hot date with the G20 in June.
And now it's official, you're smug.
But I have a message for you, Canada: I liked you better before you got successful. Before the superiority set in. Back when The Beaver magazine was called The Beaver, not self-important Canadian History.
Smugness, after all, breeds a false sense of security. It makes politicians ignore the needs of voters and animal trainers think they can feed their snuggly pet tigers by hand. It deludes people into thinking they can raise breast-cancer awareness by posting their bra colour on Facebook and a gang of suburban weekend warriors into believing they can blow up the Toronto Stock Exchange. In short, smugness is breeding a cocky arrogance in this country and I, for one, don't like it.
All things considered, Canada, you were nicer in the early nineties, when there was barely a Conservative Party to speak of and Montreal apartments were cheap and plentiful. You were depressed back then, always wandering around in sweatpants, stroking your greasy mullet and moaning about the collapse of Meech Lake and the impact of the North American free trade agreement. You were a mess, but at least you were honest.
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When did you get so smug, Canada? Not cool, man - The Globe and Mail
