Wandering through life and not knowing what to pursue.

[Lunkart]

It seems to me that there are two main categories into which you can separate people:

Those who have found a meaningful goal after which they modify all of their actions in pursue of it.
It is the reason for everything they do. All the things they do, they have figured out the why for and therefore they are hugely successful.
Life revolves entirely around pursuing that one goal (which can change with time).

-

Then there are those who are being pushed by the flow of life. Their actions are directed towards making themselves feel good or at least not as miserable.
Life revolves around getting through work, responsibilities and chaos as easily and as quickly as possible.

Question is: How do people figure out what is meaningful to them?

I find myself in the second category. Living completely to fulfil the expectations of the people around me who I deeply don't care about.
But there's also no apparent alternative right now. I do believe though that it's possible for anyone to find a goal that is meaningful for him or her. Just how?

 

[swing_voter]

Most jobs suck. Once in a while you run into someone who loves their work, I can't help but think that they would likely like a lot of jobs.

I work to put food on the table. I like my coworkers and that's a bonus, but if I could quit tomorrow, I would.

 

[longview]

I think you have to play to your strengths!
If you like helping others, find something that lets you make money doing that.
If you like solving problems on your own, look for something that leads there.
If you seek the approval of others, try to become a subject matter expert in some area, where people will seek you out for your advice.

 

[Angel]

Yours is a good thoughtful first post. Welcome to the forum.

Reading your post, I dare say you already have a goal, namely pleasure, or the avoidance of pain. There's a philosophy of life there.
I don't know your age, but if you are young, there's time for you to develop interests and goals related to those interests. Travel and reading help here. Be open to new possibilities; experiment with different activities, meet different kinds of people. Broaden your horizons, as it is said.

If you're no longer young, the above still applies of course, but above all don't get down on yourself for not leading the goal-oriented life you see others leading. We're all headed for the same place, whatever goals in life we pursue, and going with the flow is as good a life style as any other and may be better than most from a philosophical perspective.

Finally, count your blessings. I don't know you and I don't know what those blessings might be -- good health, a loved one, intelligence -- recognizing one's blessings is a goal in itself.

 

[JC Callender]

I do believe though that it's possible for anyone to find a goal that is meaningful for him or her. Just how?

The word that more than likely describes what you're looking for is passion. Passion is an intense interest in something that can make our lives lighter and more enjoyable, kind of like running with the wind as opposed to running against it. Some folks have a passion that's a bit too intense at times, like Elon Musk who once said that you wouldn't want to be him because his mind is constantly full of new ideas and it's difficult to rest. I personally don't have any real serious passions, although I do have many things I'm fond of, so I'm okay with that because I'm generally content and can rest easily. I'll probably never become excellent at any one thing though, which is okay because everyone doesn't need to.

People often think of passion as involving a hobby or vocation, but I think the most prolific passion lies in human relationships. The most vivid and enjoyable passion I've ever experienced is being in love. Many people who have children are very passionate about them. And many who aren't in love or don't have families find passion in helping others, even if they're strangers. Love is probably the basis of passion, as even a person who has a passion for guitar probably has an underlying desire to create something beautiful on the guitar for someone else to enjoy out of love. Would that same person be an awesome guitarist if they were the only person on earth? Would a master chef be so if there were no one to cook for?

So, if you can't find a passion, can you develop one? Here's my advice: Let's say you want to become a great guitarist but don't feel the passion when you sit down to practice because it's painful on your fingers and you feel inept. Set a simple goal to practice for one hour per day for one month (simple commitment, right?) and if at the end of that month you are excited at what you've accomplished, then keep going because you're probably developing a passion. If you're not excited, leave it alone and move on to something else. And if you can't think of any passions in the meantime, work on making yourself more attractive to others through eating well, fitness, learning, being a charming/cool guy, etc… in hopes of cultivating new and positive relationships that could spark passion. Hope this helps.

 

[distraff]

It seems to me that there are two main categories into which you can separate people:

Those who have found a meaningful goal after which they modify all of their actions in pursue of it.
It is the reason for everything they do. All the things they do, they have figured out the why for and therefore they are hugely successful.
Life revolves entirely around pursuing that one goal (which can change with time).

-

Then there are those who are being pushed by the flow of life. Their actions are directed towards making themselves feel good or at least not as miserable.
Life revolves around getting through work, responsibilities and chaos as easily and as quickly as possible.

Question is: How do people figure out what is meaningful to them?

I find myself in the second category. Living completely to fulfil the expectations of the people around me who I deeply don't care about.
But there's also no apparent alternative right now. I do believe though that it's possible for anyone to find a goal that is meaningful for him or her. Just how?

Most of us have careers that aren't exactly inspiring. But as long as I'm not bored and get paid well, I'm happy. I'm a software developer and its a great career. Just find a career that is ok with you and pursue it.

But lets talk about purpose. Some people start families and have children. Supporting their families give them a purpose to live for. Some people make a lot of friends and do fun social events. Many others try to make a lot of money and afford nice things. Lots of people pursue hobbies and activities like travel, cooking, music, shopping, scuba diving, etc that keeps their lives interesting. Many get into personal development like fitness, social development, meditation, career development, diets, etc. Some find a cause or volunteering effort they can support and help others like helping animals, politics, or helping the homeless. And its important to have fun too like movies, tv, fun books, games, restaurants, and social activities.

 

[Moonglow]

It seems to me that there are two main categories into which you can separate people:

Those who have found a meaningful goal after which they modify all of their actions in pursue of it.
It is the reason for everything they do. All the things they do, they have figured out the why for and therefore they are hugely successful.
Life revolves entirely around pursuing that one goal (which can change with time).

-

Then there are those who are being pushed by the flow of life. Their actions are directed towards making themselves feel good or at least not as miserable.
Life revolves around getting through work, responsibilities and chaos as easily and as quickly as possible.

Question is: How do people figure out what is meaningful to them?

I find myself in the second category. Living completely to fulfil the expectations of the people around me who I deeply don't care about.
But there's also no apparent alternative right now. I do believe though that it's possible for anyone to find a goal that is meaningful for him or her. Just how?

Just get out there and test the waters..