Trumpy Got Back (A pastiche, just for fun)

[ChadandFreud]

[Intro: Valley girl voice]

Oh. My. God. Becky, look at his crowd.

They’re just so… *huge*.

He looks like—like one of those orange reality stars.

But who even cares? He’s just so… full of himself!




[Trump Voice]

I like big crowds and I cannot lie,

You other haters can't deny,

When a man walks in with a MAGA base,

And a spray-tan face in your liberal space,

You get stunned—wanna pull up tough,

‘Cause you notice that speech was buff.

Loud tweet with the caps all flashing,

Barkin’ lies but the fans still clappin’.




Oh baby, I wanna get wit’cha,

And grab your—wait, there's a camera, picture!

My rallies tried to warn ya,

But that suit you got? It bores ya.




Ooh, Florida face and base race,

I'm starin’ at Fox News face.

So proud, so loud,

You say I’m fake? I’m plowin’ your crowd.




I'm tired of mags and snobs,

Sayin’ “Trump’s not fit for jobs.”

Take the average voter and ask him that—

She gotta pack red hat!




So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)

Has your Pres got the vote count back? (Hell yeah!)

Tell 'em to flip it! (Flip it!) Flip it! (Flip it!)

Fake news ain’t gonna grip it!




Trumpy got back!




[Bridge]

(He’s yuge, so yuge)

I’m the king, the boss, the Don,

The chosen one with the magic wand.

They try to impeach, I just react,

With a mean mug grin and a legal tact.




I make crowds roar with a wink and smirk,

Talk nonsense, still, it works.

CNN can whine, it’s cute,

But my people ride deep in a gold-plated suit.




Don’t care ‘bout facts, just swagger,

Truth’s for nerds, I’m the dagger.

When it comes to charm, I’m lethal,

I grab minds like I grab—(redacted) people.




[Verse 2]

I’m slick, I’m rich, got a gold-plated itch,

And a portrait hangin’ in every pitch.

Mar-a-Lago to the Rust Belt boonies,

Still got groupies flashin’ MAGA booties.




Talk trash, play golf, post memes,

Swallow praise like it’s ice cream.

Haters hate, but I redirect,

With a chin so high, it breaks your neck.




So ladies! (Yeah!) Ladies! (Yeah!)

Do you wanna roll in a jet that’s shady? (Hell yeah!)

Then sign in, lie in, ride in,

Even Melania's eyein'.




Trumpy got back!




[Outro]

Yup—no collusion, total delusion,

Make illusions feel like conclusions.

I’m the show, the spark, the track,

All hail the man with the trumpy back.

 

[ataraxia]

That’s pretty funny! Who wrote this?

 

[ChadandFreud]

That’s pretty funny! Who wrote this?

A Friend of mine. He has a talent for that sort of thing.

 

[ataraxia]

A Friend of mine. He has a talent for that sort of thing.

Tell him he’s pretty good. Encourage him to pursue this more seriously, if he is not already!

 

[ChadandFreud]

Tell him he’s pretty good. Encourage him to pursue this more seriously, if he is not already!

I will. Thank you, on his behalf!

 

[Lycanthrope]

LOL

"Tiny little Cheeto but he got much back!"