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Traditional female gender role.

S

SCitizen

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Not being female I may make mistakes on some points but I can try. On one hand, in a traditional setting a woman was kept in the house and her duty was to care for children/elderly. She had very little freedom. On the other hand, being homeless, garbage man, working most dangerous jobs was and still is mostly for men.

I am supported by my parents and I help my grandmother very much -- given my disability that may be the best choice. I miss freedom, but not freedom to be homeless, garbage man, or asphalt worker.

If anyone told me to ``man up" I tell them ****.
 

It seems you are applying the topic to your own life situation; not knowing enough to make a considered discussion makes such difficult save for the part about traditional roles; they have gone by the wayside and, today, it takes a rather brave and individualistic woman and man to adhere to old traditions.

Each of us as individuals might do well, though, to learn to "cowboy up" a little more often if for nothing else but an example to offspring.

Great day to ya' SC

Thom Paine
 
SCitizen said:
I am supported by my parents and I help my grandmother very much -- given my disability that may be the best choice. I miss freedom, but not freedom to be homeless, garbage man, or asphalt worker.
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The price of independence and freedom, to some, is worth any job -- no matter how menial or undignified it seems to others. I respect garbage men, asphalt workers, and janitors the same as I do any worker. They're doing the best they can with what they have, as the rest of us are.

By the way, helping care for your grandmother is very respectable. Maybe you could volunteer down the road if you like helping other people.
 
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I also respect them. As for me -- I truly do not know what to do. Should I change anything in my situation or not? My situation is not perfect, but it is not terrible.
 
I would -- and have -- work almost any low-down job for my freedom. It's worth it to me.

That does not exclude the possibility of limiting my options for something I think is worth it. If I choose to give up things to help someone else, that is still my freedom in action. But to be forced to do that by some sort of social mandate is an undignified and ultimately unlivable life, in my opinion. I am not anyone's tool or free labor.

SCitizen said:
I also respect them. As for me -- I truly do not know what to do. Should I change anything in my situation or not? My situation is not perfect, but it is not terrible.
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As others have said, that is up to you. No one can tell you what you want.

But by assuming that free people have poor lives (which is crap -- many of us have good lives) seems to be talking yourself out of it so you can justify doing nothing without having to admit you simply don't have the motivation.
 
SmokeAndMirrors said:
But by assuming that free people have poor lives (which is crap -- many of us have good lives) seems to be talking yourself out of it so you can justify doing nothing without having to admit you simply don't have the motivation.
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Most people do not have a double disability -- autism and depression. The main problem is that few people understand that such disability is as real as a physical handicap. American parents would most likely throw out their disabled child at age 18. Jewish culture is similar to Asian culture in the fact that family members help each other.
 
SCitizen said:
I also respect them. As for me -- I truly do not know what to do. Should I change anything in my situation or not? My situation is not perfect, but it is not terrible.
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There's always a better way, you just have to find it. I don't know what interests you in life. I would suggest that you find it, become good at it, then make it your own. Turn your disadvantages into advantages. There are ways of doing this.

Remember what they say -- whether you think can or you can't, you're right.
 

I understand perfectly. Not a day goes by where having a good life isn't work. And despite how much better things have gotten, at times, I have had to check out of the expectations of the normal world.

But I've worked hard enough that I can afford to do that, and ultimately it doesn't matter what they think. It matters what I think, and how I feel, and if I am handling the obligations I do maintain the best I can.

And yeah, I started out pretty low-down. It was worth it to me, and it still is, especially knowing that all that work paid off. Not just in the financial sense, but ultimately in my psychological fortitude for dealing with life as well.

Complaining and then coming up with reasons you can't do anything is ridiculous, and childish -- and the reasons you're coming up with aren't even real. They're based on a completely fictitious story you've written for yourself about your future, based on nothing that is currently happening in your present.

You have to decide this situation is best and then make the best of it, or decide it's not and then make the best of that.

All you're doing right now is indulging your learned helplessness.
 
For the record, I have a double-disability. It has even been speculated that I have a degree of autism (not really sure myself), due to my extreme aversion to social contact and relationships. Never had a girlfriend, never really had a friend.

I spent 10 years doing what you're doing now, becoming more and more helpless. Then I tried to kill myself because when I actually entered society out of necessity, the pressure was too much for me. I had successfully become helpless.

Took many years to rebuild myself, and while I'm not perfect, I'm independent and moderately happy. Like SmokeAndMirrors said, having a good life is hard work, but it's absolutely worth it.
 

I do not know if the American Dream can or should work for me -- my situation is not that bad. I do not know if I should adopt the American lifestyle.
 

That is my situation -- no girlfriend, and no friends left. Hardly talk to anyone except my family of origin.

Three of my American friends I had in 1990s are no longer alive -- they took drugs. One killed himself, two died in car accidents.
 
SCitizen said:
That is my situation -- no girlfriend, and no friends left. Hardly talk to anyone except my family of origin.

Three of my American friends I had in 1990s are no longer alive -- they took drugs. One killed himself, two died in car accidents.
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As I said, there are ways to improve your situation. If you're not on medication, maybe you should look into it, especially for depression. I can recommend some that have helped me (Abilify, Venlafaxine, and a mood stabilizer). If you desire friends, the best way to find them is by engaging the community, even in small ways (e.g. volunteering).
 
SCitizen said:
I do not know if the American Dream can or should work for me -- my situation is not that bad. I do not know if I should adopt the American lifestyle.
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Ok, then don't.

But don't say you "can't" because of some imaginary situation that hasn't even happened, and if you don't want to change your lifestyle, stop going on trying to get us to agree with how unfair you think it is, and just accept what you have chosen.
 
I made a point very early in my life to experience many types of work. I went to work in a store at age 9 and loved it(I love working period) and i had jobs around my neighborhood cutting lawns, raking leaves and shoveling snow. I worked in grocery stores in high school and at an Italian deli, in college and I was a night janitor in teacher's offices and worked at Safeway as well. I sold vacuum cleaners door to door, did phone sales of light bulbs, was an employment counselor, worked overseas construction building cargo ships,worked on rebuilding freight cars for trains, worked loading trucks for UPS, got my journeyman's card as a millwright, was a machinist, a gauge lab manager, a QC inspector and for the past couple decades I have worked and a third party inspector all around the US and Canada. It has been an interesting ride to say the least.
 

Sorry, I don't buy that for a minute.
 
Winchester said:
Sorry, I don't buy that for a minute.
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Most likely American parents would most likely throw out their disabled child at age 18, and most American children abandon their old parents.
 
SCitizen said:
Most likely American parents would most likely throw out their disabled child at age 18, and most American children abandon their old parents.
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No they wouldn't.
 

Hey Progressive, spoken like a true conservative!
 
SCitizen said:
That is my situation -- no girlfriend, and no friends left. Hardly talk to anyone except my family of origin.

Three of my American friends I had in 1990s are no longer alive -- they took drugs. One killed himself, two died in car accidents.
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First of all dont see yourself as a victim, secondly get out and do things to meet people. Join a club or take up a hobby where you can meet like minded people. Internet dating sites can help you find that "other" person, who ever that may be. Also try to be positive in your everyday life! Folks pick up on this and nobody wants to be around the downer, no fun. If at all possible get some form of job outside the house, this gives you motivation to stay well groomed and be out there among people. Good luck and be positive!!
 
Gringo allstar said:
Hey Progressive, spoken like a true conservative!
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A sense of responsibility is essential to all positive social change, to my mind. And let's not forget, that is essentially what progressivism is about (not to be confused with platform-based liberalism, which, like similarly styled conservatism, is more about political games than about real social concern).
 
SCitizen said:
My hobby is Runescape. I have Defense 97, and Magic 99. I need to train other skills.
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Ahhh, the kicking out of the house comments are making more sense.
 
SCitizen said:
Most likely American parents would most likely throw out their disabled child at age 18, and most American children abandon their old parents.
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Not my experience at all. Hell, I know perfectly able young adults who are still living at home because their parents want to let them clear away some debt.

You need to get out more.
 
SmokeAndMirrors said:
Not my experience at all. Hell, I know perfectly able young adults who are still living at home because their parents want to let them clear away some debt.
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I understand -- I read that more adults live with their parents.
 

I have one very important question as to what you mean by traditional. Does traditional mean what ACTUALLY happened back then (in the Middle Ages women were shown to work nearly as hard as men, taking up jobs like selling goods and running markets) or what the CHURCH believed happened (the Church drew many false paintings in the Middle Ages that tried to put women as nothing but housewives)

If you mean by what ACTUALLY happened, then... The traditional view is that women work along side men buddy.

If you mean by what the CHURCH thought happened, then... The traditional view is that women were useless meat-bags that were only needed for child-birth and house cleaning.

I generally take traditional as what ACTUALLY happened. For many reasons to say the least.
 
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