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Losing Friends/Family

Amadeus

Amadeus

Chews the Cud
DP Veteran
Joined
Apr 29, 2013
Messages
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Location
Benghazi
Gender
Male
Political Leaning
Very Liberal
I would just like to say that cancer sucks. I don't have it, but my mother is currently going through chemo, and I've lost several friends/family to it. When you're young, you feel that everyone around you is going to live forever. Then when you get into your 30s and 40s, people start dropping like flies.

Oh well, that's part of life and the human condition. Nothing lasts forever.

I know that many people on this forum have lost loved ones. I've seen the posts. You have my empathy.
 
Despite being emotionally dense (in terms of responding emotively to insults and or mishaps), seeing or hearing about someone I hold dear suffering tears my heart out. My condolences.
 
I'm sorry to hear that Amadeus, my thoughts are with your and your family. Cancer is a bitch.

You never really know how strong you are until being strong for someone you love is the only choice you have. Hang in there and don't be afraid to reach out anytime.
 
Glioblastoma Multiforme, type 4. Brain tumor.

It took my mother, and it did not take very long to win. Even with a first round and second round of surgery (extremely rare) she was given months on initial prognosis, and she ended up fighting it for well over 2 years with the last being a very degraded quality of life. The first tumor and subsequent operation took some speech, the second round took some memory, the last was too deep for an operation and took her life. At that point a third surgery was absurd thinking anyway no matter where the tumor formed.

It was tough for me to talk about for years simply because of how downhill the latter stages of her life were, but her fight gave her enough time to at least see her grand-children a little more. She may not have remembered their names but the smile on her face during those visits told me it probably did not matter. She saw who she wanted to see on those "good" days, and they all helped.

There is no real way to prepare for losing someone along these lines, so you really have no choice but to accept what happen for what it was and look for these little things that came from it. At the end of the day though it drives a point home in the strongest of terms. No matter if you have something to say or something you need to do, you simply cannot afford to wait. There is no certainty with cancer. Everything from who gets it, to how long they have with it, to how that fight plays out.

I've been there, and I send my best wishes to you.
 
OrphanSlug said:
Glioblastoma Multiforme, type 4. Brain tumor.

It took my mother, and it did not take very long to win. Even with a first round and second round of surgery (extremely rare) she was given months on initial prognosis, and she ended up fighting it for well over 2 years with the last being a very degraded quality of life. The first tumor and subsequent operation took some speech, the second round took some memory, the last was too deep for an operation and took her life. At that point a third surgery was absurd thinking anyway no matter where the tumor formed.

It was tough for me to talk about for years simply because of how downhill the latter stages of her life were, but her fight gave her enough time to at least see her grand-children a little more. She may not have remembered their names but the smile on her face during those visits told me it probably did not matter. She saw who she wanted to see on those "good" days, and they all helped.

There is no real way to prepare for losing someone along these lines, so you really have no choice but to accept what happen for what it was and look for these little things that came from it. At the end of the day though it drives a point home in the strongest of terms. No matter if you have something to say or something you need to do, you simply cannot afford to wait. There is no certainty with cancer. Everything from who gets it, to how long they have with it, to how that fight plays out.

I've been there, and I send my best wishes to you.
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I hear you. I expect that my mother's chemo will enable her to live another couple years (she has two types of blood cancer; one fast, one slow). She is fighting hard. My brother has a son, my nephew, and it is my hope that he will be old enough to remember my mother when she passes.

I don't really want this to be a downer thread, but I guess that's hard to avoid.
 
My condolences Amadeus.....I lost my mother 3 years ago this past March 11. Grade 4 Ovarian cancer.

All I can tell you is to talk to her as much as you can. Let her see you, hear you.....and try and be there as much as you can.

My mother would not like the way she left.....she couldn't talk, nor see, nor move. All from the way they shut her down from the pain. So she wouldn't have to suffer. I was the last with her.....all I know is she heard me and my promise, when she left.
 
My grandmother died about 15 years ago from cancer. She lived on the other side of the country. I dedided to go visit her with my mother before she died. Knowing I could only get out there 1x that year I decided to see her one last time than to go later on ot the funeral. My brother and sisters waited til the fuenral. I dont blame them, it is hard ot see a loved one dying and being 3000 miles away it isnt an easy thing to get out there. what with getting the time off, flights, kids etc. I am glad I was able to go and see her 1 last time.
The absolute worst part was driving back out of the mountains from the small town she was in to the city with my mother. It hit my mom about 10 minutes into the drive that she was never going to see her mother alive again. Here we were diving through some of the most beautiful scenerey you could imagine and it was the worst drive of my life.
My grandmother died 1 1/2 months later.
Best of luck to your mother. Hoping the chemo isnt too rough and she makes a full recovery.
 
Amadeus said:
I would just like to say that cancer sucks. I don't have it, but my mother is currently going through chemo, and I've lost several friends/family to it. When you're young, you feel that everyone around you is going to live forever. Then when you get into your 30s and 40s, people start dropping like flies.

Oh well, that's part of life and the human condition. Nothing lasts forever.

I know that many people on this forum have lost loved ones. I've seen the posts. You have my empathy.
Click to expand...

I'm so sorry for your losses, and what you are going through with your mother. I hope she feels better soon... and you as well. *hugs*
 
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