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SNOWFLAKE

SNOWFLAKE

Crazy Canuck
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Please contribute your own jokes, but here are a few for you all to enjoy:

What's the difference between God and a Republican? God knows He's not a Republican.
The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then gets elected and proves it.
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three. One to hire a Mexican guy and two to deport him when he's done.
What do Republicans and porn stars have in common? They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.
If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t there more more happy Republicans?
Q: Why do Republicans avoid living on the West Coast? A: They're scared to live that close to the edge of the Earth.
What is the difference between a Republican ass-kisser and a brown-noser? Depth perception.
Funeral: A Republican died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Republican? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
Genie: A Conservative found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Liberal.
Q: Why did the Republican cross the road? A: There was a black guy on the first side.

ok ok, thanks for the applause, now I leave it up to you all to post more jokes.
 
Canadians could have had the best of everything. American technology, British tradition, and French food. Instead, they chose French technology, American tradition, and British food.
 
SNOWFLAKE said:
Please contribute your own jokes, but here are a few for you all to enjoy:

What's the difference between God and a Republican? God knows He's not a Republican.
The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then gets elected and proves it.
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three. One to hire a Mexican guy and two to deport him when he's done.
What do Republicans and porn stars have in common? They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.
If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t there more more happy Republicans?
Q: Why do Republicans avoid living on the West Coast? A: They're scared to live that close to the edge of the Earth.
What is the difference between a Republican ass-kisser and a brown-noser? Depth perception.
Funeral: A Republican died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Republican? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
Genie: A Conservative found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Liberal.
Q: Why did the Republican cross the road? A: There was a black guy on the first side.

ok ok, thanks for the applause, now I leave it up to you all to post more jokes.
Click to expand...
Don't quit your day job.
 
Q: How does a Canadian kill a fish?

A: Drowns it.
 
Renes Descartes was flying on an airplane. The stewardess came and said, "Excuse me sir, would you like some coffee or tea?" Renes paused, said, "Uh, I think not." and POOF! he disappeared.
 
Q: How does a Canadian kill a bird?

A: He throws it off a cliff.
 
There are 2 types of people in this world. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
 
An American, an Australian, and a Canadian were to be executed by guillotine. The American was placed first. The blade fell and stopped a quarter of an inch from his neck. The executioner proclaimed it was a miracle and the American was set free. The Australian was placed next. The blade fell and stopped a half inch from his neck. The executioner proclaimed a second miracle and the Australian was set free. Just before the Canadian was placed, he told the executioner “a little oil in those grooves should solve the problem.”
 
AConcernedCitizen said:
There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
Click to expand...

There are two types of people in this world. Those who think there are two types of people in this world, and those who don’t.
 
AConcernedCitizen said:
There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
Click to expand...

There are 11 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who know a good pair of legs regardless of the base.
 
What be a pirate's favorite letter?

Some say it be the letter R matey.

Some say it be the letter P, which be like the letter R, except that it be missin' a leg.

Some say a pirate's favorite letter be the open C and a ship to sail her.

But in truth, a pirate's favorite letter be a Letter of Marque and Reprisal from His Majesty, King Edward I.
 
SNOWFLAKE said:
Please contribute your own jokes, but here are a few for you all to enjoy:

What's the difference between God and a Republican? God knows He's not a Republican.
The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then gets elected and proves it.
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three. One to hire a Mexican guy and two to deport him when he's done.
What do Republicans and porn stars have in common? They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.
If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t there more more happy Republicans?
Q: Why do Republicans avoid living on the West Coast? A: They're scared to live that close to the edge of the Earth.
What is the difference between a Republican ass-kisser and a brown-noser? Depth perception.
Funeral: A Republican died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Republican? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
Genie: A Conservative found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Liberal.
Q: Why did the Republican cross the road? A: There was a black guy on the first side.

ok ok, thanks for the applause, now I leave it up to you all to post more jokes.
Click to expand...
Oh---this is rich
 
tshade said:
If Trump, Santos and Desantis jump off the Empire State Building at the same time, who will hit the ground first???

A: "who cares"
Click to expand...

A: None of them would hit the ground first. The ground hit them first, they were only defending themselves.
 
Bok_Tukalo said:
Canadians could have had the best of everything. American technology, British tradition, and French food. Instead, they chose French technology, American tradition, and British food.
Click to expand...
You had it right the first time.
 
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