Is it ok to spank your child?

Well spanking is in the news so it begs the question.....

Spanking as defined as a few swats on the butt with your hand.....

As long as it is not done in anger or as a punitive punishment and as long as it is meant to get attention quick and does not physically hurt child and as long as it is not against a child under 3 years old and parents also balance in good parenting techniques and can talk to their kids...then YES

Yes. Spanking or threat of spanking along with explaining what Spanking is (a consequence) and why they were spanked is good discipline.

The point is moot...

Who is going to tell me I can't?

3 girls, 1 boy. The boy was beat daily up to a cetain age until he figured it out. Never had to spank the girls. Just asked them, "you want some of what your brother gets"? They straightened right up every time.

It's very effective when they're toddlers but it depends on the kid. My daughter rarely needed a swat, my son is a whole 'nother story! But the "swat" shouldn't be used out of anger so much as it should be used to "shock" a kid out of acting insane. If it's over used it wouldn't have as good an effect. But you know if your 3 year old runs out in the street in front of a car a good swat on the arse will teach them to be careful next time in a way that words won't. My daughter gets upset if you even raise your voice at her but my son never gave a crap about yelling or lectures. A swat on his arse got his attention. Pinching worksk great too. My daughter can usually be stopped in her tracks with a look. But my eyes can be bulging out of my head and it wouldn't faze my son. So if he was acting crazy in the store or a restaurant when he was little I'd pinch him under the table or grab his hand and squeeze it to let him know I was serious that he better quit doing whatever the hell crazy thing he was doing. Some kids are like puppies ready to challenge you at the drop of a hat. You gotta keep reminding them whose boss.

California is gonna try and pass a law that makes it illegal to spank a child 3 years or younger with penalty of 1 year in jail or 1,000 $ fine.

Johnny_Utah said:

California is gonna try and pass a law that makes it illegal to spank a child 3 years or younger with penalty of 1 year in jail or 1,000 $ fine.

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That's absolutely ridiculous.

yeah, they took a poll in Liberal-USA aka San Fran-psycho and 57% voted that it was a baaaad idea. Thank god for some common sense.

Hopefully that stupid idea is shot down.

Johnny_Utah said:

Hopefully that stupid idea is shot down.

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Hopefully, those who go out to try and enforce it are simply shot.

Johnny_Utah said:

California is gonna try and pass a law that makes it illegal to spank a child 3 years or younger with penalty of 1 year in jail or 1,000 $ fine.

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talloulou said:

That's absolutely ridiculous.

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I'm a little fuzzy on how I feel about spanking, but doesn't hitting a kid under three years old sound a little extreme?

If they don't have a decent chance of hitting back . . . no, it is not.

yeah, I agree. As long as it is not abuse, people should mind their own business. I was spanked and I am a fairly well-adjusted person.

Billo, we are not talking about "Corporal Punishment" :roll:

I'd say that spanking under 3 is pointless, as the kids are well developed enough to connect doing something bad with pain. I have no problem with mild physical pain as a disciplinary action. However, I notice that many parents who give spanking do so for the wrong reasons. The goal is to get the kid to associate pain with bad actions, thereby preventing the incorrect action. As kids grow old enough that such simple conditioning is no longer sufficent, explain to the kids why you inflicted such punishment. Otherwise kids associate authority with delivering pain.

Originally Posted by Johnny_Utah
yeah, I agree. As long as it is not abuse, people should mind their own business. I was spanked and I am a fairly well-adjusted person.

Billo, we are not talking about "Corporal Punishment"

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Striking a child in anger is abuse. Anyone who was struck as a child should remember the feelings of shear terror when they were hit by someone 4 times their size. Children, by nature, want to please their caretakers. Now when someone they are so dependant on, turns to them in anger, their minds are blown because they don't see what they did that would justify such violence. It is also the sign of a lazy parent who thinks of their children as little possessions instead of little people.

There has never been a violent baby born in the history of human kind. So how did we get all these Manson's? We program the violence into them. But I don't want to slam those who are parents. That has got to be the single hardest job in the world, raising a kid.

I know I wouldn't have wanted to raise me.

Adrian said:

I'm a little fuzzy on how I feel about spanking, but doesn't hitting a kid under three years old sound a little extreme?

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Before I had kids I swore I would raise them with language and never hit them. Now I look back on my ideal view of raising children with great laughter.

Had I only had my daughter and not my son I would probably still think kids don't ever need to be spanked. My daughter really never needed a swat.

But my son's personality was just so different.

I will say that as he got older he didn't need to be spanked anymore. He's 7 now and he is rarely spanked though he is asked occasionally if he needs to be! Which seems enough to embarrass him and get him to do what he's told.

My son just has the type of personality where he challenges authority constantly. It's not bad that he's like that but it is something that has to be kept in check. When he was a toddler words were not gonna get messages across because he didn't care to listen to them. Raised voices meant nothing to him. Long over drawn explanations on right and wrong would have his eyes rolling. When asked if he understood what I was telling him he'd reply, "Can you make me a "sandwich!" It was like talking to a wall.

Now my kids were never "beat" or "whipped." In my mind "spanked" is very different from beating and whipping. My kids were never afraid. In fact my son stopped getting "spanked" mostly because the swats were eventually met with laughter and I realized this isn't going to work anymore. He's too old.

It was very effective though when he was a toddler and he was a crazy toddler. Very physical. Running around at 9 months and climbing up on top of the fridge by 11 months. Just some crazy shite that had to be dealt with.

Now that he's older we can talk things out more but he still is different from my daughter. She enjoys long conversations about the right and wrong of different things and she gets it. My son is more likely to say, "yeah whatever!" But now that he's older we are able to keep him in line by taking stuff away. T.V., video games, ect. We also send him to his room and make him settle down by reading a book and what not. We try to come up with creative punishments that sort of teach a lesson but you know in the end he thinks we're nuts and he knows it all. He's just more "focused" and "intent" on having and doing things his way and he's pretty stubborn. These things can be dealt with in other ways now but as a toddler he needed swats to keep him in line! And I think had he never received them we wouldn't be having the relatively easy time we have with him now.

I said that parents should not strike a child in anger in my first post. A spank or swat on the bottom to get a kids attention when they almost bolt in to the street is not striking a child in anger, but it might be made a criminal offense, and in doing so would brand a parent an abusive parent. It is not abuse. I was spanked out of parental frustration and it is not the end of the world. I dealt with those issues.

I am not sure how many of you are around kids, but I am. Some 3 year olds are very aware, but still do not think things through.

Hitting kids in anger = bad.
Hitting kids too hard = bad

By Adrian
I'm a little fuzzy on how I feel about spanking, but doesn't hitting a kid under three years old sound a little extreme?

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Yes, of course it is. I think that you are taking that out of context. Read some of the other things that I wrote. The idea of a law is ridiculous though. All it can do is get some good parents in trouble. Bad abusive parents already meet standards of abuse without this new legislation

Billo_Really said:

Striking a child in anger is abuse. Anyone who was struck as a child should remember the feelings of shear terror when they were hit by someone 4 times their size. Children, by nature, want to please their caretakers. Now when someone they are so dependant on, turns to them in anger, their minds are blown because they don't see what they did that would justify such violence. It is also the sign of a lazy parent who thinks of their children as little possessions instead of little people.

There has never been a violent baby born in the history of human kind. So how did we get all these Manson's? We program the violence into them. But I don't want to slam those who are parents. That has got to be the single hardest job in the world, raising a kid.

I know I wouldn't have wanted to raise me.

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I agree spanking when you are really angry and out of control yourself is bad and dangerous.

The bold part of your post though got me laughing. This is true with some kids but not all. Some kids don't give a rats arse about pleasing anyone! My son does not care what others think. And many times that makes me beam with pride! It can be a great trait to have and I think in many ways it will serve him well and I actually get concerned that my daughter thinks too much about what others want. My daughter loves pleasing her friends, her teachers, us ect. My son does great in school but he doesn't give a hoot about "pleasing his teacher" and it doesn't bother him at all what others think usually in most circumstances.....and never when he is convinced he is right!

I know that some people are abusing their children and that is soooo wrong. But I don't believe that every parent who swats a toddlers behind is abusing the child. In fact I'd argue that some parents who have kids that could use a swat when they're little may in fact be neglecting the kid and doing a disservice by not handing it out.

Your parents were circus stilt walkers with greasy hands and cement floors eh?

Billo_Really said:

Corporal punishment is child abuse!

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Damn right. No one who hasn't love for the child, love to the point where if they were put in a position do die for thier well being would do so without thought has any bidness laying a hand on them. Got trouble in school with junior? Gimme a call or send a note, I'll decide for my own how much beating it takes to put the fear into them into behaving. When I was a boy the only thing at times that kept me in line was fear of my Dad's oncoming pain.

I don't find anything wrong with a spanking. Now let's be clear, there is a definitive line between spanking and beating a child.

If I did something wrong, my father would send me to my room to wait until he came in to spank me. There was a paddle that hung by the door and he would come in and give me no more than three swats on my behind. The three swats from a paddle were nothing compared to the wait for him to come and give them to me. The disappointment on his face was far worse than the sting of the paddle. All the paddling did was reinforce what I already knew and give me that much more incentive not to repeat my mistakes. Plus, seeing that paddle hanging by the door was a constant reminder of the consequences for bad behavior.

Navy Pride said:

Well spanking is in the news so it begs the question.....

Spanking as defined as a few swats on the butt with your hand.....

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I believe kids need to respect adults. When mine is born I already told my wife I wont accept any talkback from my own kids. And if they even dare to try and throw fits. Lord help em. I'm a military brat and my father would cut his arm off before he allowed me or my sister to disrespect any adults in my family. Kids need discipline. If it comes down to taking my belt off or spanking the **** out of them. So be it.

Woah, I missed that bold section. Billo, are you a parent?

jallman said:

I don't find anything wrong with a spanking. Now let's be clear, there is a definitive line between spanking and beating a child.

If I did something wrong, my father would send me to my room to wait until he came in to spank me. There was a paddle that hung by the door and he would come in and give me no more than three swats on my behind. The three swats from a paddle were nothing compared to the wait for him to come and give them to me. The disappointment on his face was far worse than the sting of the paddle. All the paddling did was reinforce what I already knew and give me that much more incentive not to repeat my mistakes. Plus, seeing that paddle hanging by the door was a constant reminder of the consequences for bad behavior.

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For me the worst was when Ma would would tell me, "wait till your Father gets home".

"I'm sorry Mom, I'll never do it again, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa".

teacher said:

For me the worst was when Ma would would tell me, "wait till your Father gets home".

"I'm sorry Mom, I'll never do it again, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa".

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Oh yeah...or how about..."Go pick me a switch so I can tan your hide with it"

Navy Pride said:

Is it ok to spank your child?

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........yup.......