How many here are adopted and would like clarity and understanding of what that means and how it affects our lives (1 Viewer)

[SoccerCoach]

Further complicating the adoptive family system is a memory process that is common among adoptees but little known by therapists, social workers, parents, and the adoptees themselves. There is a disconnection in adoptees between their emotions and their ability to identify them. This is the core issue in adoption and it is the foundation of most of the problems that occur in adoptive parenting.

Infants only a few days old can record long term memories. “Infants do not think but they do process emotions and long term memories are stored as affective schemas” (Geansbauer, 2002). An infant separated from its first mother will record a memory of that event. Memories of this nature are called preverbal memory representations and they have a unique quality that must be understood by adoptive parents. “Infant memories are recalled in adulthood the same way they were recorded at the time they occurred. It is difficult possibly impossible for children to map newly acquired verbal skills on to existing preverbal memory representations” (Richardson, R., & Hayne, H. 2007). An older adoptee who recalls an emotional memory will experience it the same way it was felt as an infant. Adoptees can have troubling memories that they cannot identify in words. This means that they cannot understand what they are feeling and without a vocabulary they cannot even ask for help. This leads to a cognitive /emotional disconnection. “Children fail to translate their preverbal memories into language”(Simcock, Hayne, 2002).

An adopted child will learn from his family that he is wanted, loved, belongs with them, and that they will never leave him. His emotional memories will trigger fears that are exactly the opposite. An adopted child can know he belongs but feel isolated. He can know that he will never be abandoned but feel that he will. He can know that he is whole but feel that a part of him is missing. He can know that he is loved but feel that he is not. This incongruence between thoughts and feelings becomes the foundation of poor attachment, problem behaviors, power struggles, poor academic performance, and behaviors parents can’t understand. The struggle to bring thoughts and feelings into coherence can be a lifelong task for adopted children. It doesn’t have to be this way.

 

[Lursa]

Summary? And please link to your citations for verification and context.

 

[ASHES]

Yeah no.

 

[SoccerCoach]

Summary? And please link to your citations for verification and context.

I am the published author
https://independent.academia.edu/RobertHafetz

Parenting The Adopted Child

An adopted child comes to the family with memories of grief, a fear of attachment, and a feeling of indistinct loss. The first years often appear to be normal lulling the parents into a false sense of security. Then when the child reaches the age of

www.academia.edu

Parenting the adopted Child

There can be no more difficult a task in classic parenting than raising an adopted child. Unlike a child one has given birth to an adopted child comes with additional trepidations that few parents are prepared for or even aware of. An adopted child

www.academia.edu

 

[Lursa]

I am the published author
https://independent.academia.edu/RobertHafetz

Parenting The Adopted Child

An adopted child comes to the family with memories of grief, a fear of attachment, and a feeling of indistinct loss. The first years often appear to be normal lulling the parents into a false sense of security. Then when the child reaches the age of

www.academia.edu

Parenting the adopted Child

There can be no more difficult a task in classic parenting than raising an adopted child. Unlike a child one has given birth to an adopted child comes with additional trepidations that few parents are prepared for or even aware of. An adopted child

www.academia.edu

According to the website, anyone that joins can upload their papers. Where is the peer-review of your papers? What journals have they been published in?

 

[armycowboy]

Further complicating the adoptive family system is a memory process that is common among adoptees but little known by therapists, social workers, parents, and the adoptees themselves. There is a disconnection in adoptees between their emotions and their ability to identify them. This is the core issue in adoption and it is the foundation of most of the problems that occur in adoptive parenting.

Infants only a few days old can record long term memories. “Infants do not think but they do process emotions and long term memories are stored as affective schemas” (Geansbauer, 2002). An infant separated from its first mother will record a memory of that event. Memories of this nature are called preverbal memory representations and they have a unique quality that must be understood by adoptive parents. “Infant memories are recalled in adulthood the same way they were recorded at the time they occurred. It is difficult possibly impossible for children to map newly acquired verbal skills on to existing preverbal memory representations” (Richardson, R., & Hayne, H. 2007). An older adoptee who recalls an emotional memory will experience it the same way it was felt as an infant. Adoptees can have troubling memories that they cannot identify in words. This means that they cannot understand what they are feeling and without a vocabulary they cannot even ask for help. This leads to a cognitive /emotional disconnection. “Children fail to translate their preverbal memories into language”(Simcock, Hayne, 2002).

An adopted child will learn from his family that he is wanted, loved, belongs with them, and that they will never leave him. His emotional memories will trigger fears that are exactly the opposite. An adopted child can know he belongs but feel isolated. He can know that he will never be abandoned but feel that he will. He can know that he is whole but feel that a part of him is missing. He can know that he is loved but feel that he is not. This incongruence between thoughts and feelings becomes the foundation of poor attachment, problem behaviors, power struggles, poor academic performance, and behaviors parents can’t understand. The struggle to bring thoughts and feelings into coherence can be a lifelong task for adopted children. It doesn’t have to be this way.

I'm adopted and this is the biggest load of shit I've ever read.

 

[SoccerCoach]

I'm adopted and this is the biggest load of shit I've ever read.

Infant preverbal memory is a fact long established in psychology. Trauma in adoption is also well documented. Yu can spend your life hiding from the truth but you will have problems if you deny it. Its going to affect your attachments. You can deny a memory but it will still assert itself and you wont have any control over it. Anger is band aid

 

[armycowboy]

Infant preverbal memory is a fact long established in psychology. Trauma in adoption is also well documented. Yu can spend your life hiding from the truth but you will have problems if you deny it. Its going to affect your attachments. You can deny a memory but it will still assert itself and you wont have any control over it. Anger is band aid

Um, sure.

 

[SoccerCoach]

Um, sure.

Understanding Adoptee Behavior

All human behavior is goal directed and purposeful nothing is random. When children misbehave that’s not the problem, it’s the child’s solution to a problem. In order for parents to deal effectively with behavioral concerns they must be able to

www.academia.edu

Implicit Memory and Adoption

Infant memory plays a significant role in the behavior of adopted children as they grow older. Addressing these concerns, effectively, requires an understanding of the nature of preverbal memories.

www.academia.edu

An adoptee Therapist reflects on Adoption

An adoptee therapist reflects on a life adopted.

www.academia.edu

How Can You Cry When You Did't Know Her

This was written for adoptees who find a grave at the end of their search

www.academia.edu

 

[armycowboy]

Understanding Adoptee Behavior

All human behavior is goal directed and purposeful nothing is random. When children misbehave that’s not the problem, it’s the child’s solution to a problem. In order for parents to deal effectively with behavioral concerns they must be able to

www.academia.edu

Implicit Memory and Adoption

Infant memory plays a significant role in the behavior of adopted children as they grow older. Addressing these concerns, effectively, requires an understanding of the nature of preverbal memories.

www.academia.edu

An adoptee Therapist reflects on Adoption

An adoptee therapist reflects on a life adopted.

www.academia.edu

How Can You Cry When You Did't Know Her

This was written for adoptees who find a grave at the end of their search

www.academia.edu

A bunch of theories on an internet site that isn't peer reviewed of fact checked in any way. Yeah, I'm not going to bother with that. Might as well link to a 4chan site the "prove" Pizzagate really happened.