Homeschool

[cpwill]

How many parents in here have homeschooled or are homeschooling?
What were the positives and negatives, in your opinion?
What support did you get from your state for homeschooling?

What extra subjects or learning activities did you do?

The girls are asking me to homeschool them. Right now I have enrolled them in public school. Our schools are pretty good, but I am not opposed to Homeschooling, just wondering how difficult it is and what everyone's experiences were positive and negative. Their dad is on board with the idea too, but wants me to research more before committing, because once we commit there is no going back. (the school will let us, but we have made that choice.)

We Home School, and always have for our kids. The oldest is now 16, and is (as I type this) signing up for his dual-enrollment courses in the local community college.

Research is wise, however, you will probably never know enough to feel comfortable before you make the decision. That is simply the nature of the beast with trying something like this... so.... if you have got good data, but don't feel comfortable, congratulations you are just like every other home school mom .

Positives:

* Relationships: Your relationship with your girls will be richer and thicker than your relationship with them if you do this. This isn't to say that parents who send their kids to brick-and-mortar can't have good relationships with their kids, but, there isn't a substitute for spending hours together talking about all kinds of stuff under the sun other than spending hours together talking about (and working through) all kinds of things under the sun. Your kids' relationships with each other will probably also be richer. We have fun. You will get from this a foundation for ya'lls' relationship that will be very strong indeed.

* Flexibility. Within the goals you set for yourself, you can teach when, and where, is best. My kids have done school work on vacation, on car trips, during the summer, etc. A lot of brick-and-mortar schooling is admin time: walking to and from classes, listening to a lecture at the pace of the slower-middle kids in the class, and waiting. With the age of your girls, you will find they can probably knock out most of what they have to do for traditional coursework in about 2-3 hours, though in the beginning it may take them longer. That leaves hours left in your day for them to fill with unregulated time (if you are so inclined), work/chores (if you/they are so inclined), or additional material. You said your children are behind - so was my daughter, who had some auditory-processing issues. The flexibility of home schooling allowed us to build in extra mini-semesters in the summer, to help her make up lost ground. We can also take trips during the "school year" to places like historic Williamsburg, etc., and incorporate that stuff into History.

* Self-Direction: A major advantage (this is a cpwill opinion) of homeschooling is that you can slowly turn over control of the kids' education to the kid, stepping back, and letting them take more responsibility. With my oldest, we basically now just give him the curriculum and later read his papers. He figures out how much time it will take him to do what, and self-schedules accordingly. He even came back a couple of years ago with a math curriculum he wanted to switch to (how many 14 year olds decide they want a new math curriculum, go research the options, and then pitch their parents on switching?). This year, he is going to start learning-by-teaching, and he and the other students in his year of our home school program will be leading discussions.

* Superior Socialization: Everyone always plays this canard, but, I echo @Ishm. Kids in a typical government school get "socialized" to the norm of the other 11 year olds... but weighted towards the loudest. Kids in a home school setting (if done right - it can be done wrong if you allow the girls to completely self-isolate) get socialized through interacting with other 11 year olds, and with teenagers, and with younger children, and with a wider variety of adults. The adults who are addressing them aren't addressing them as 1-of-20, but, as an individual, and that allows them to engage on an individual-to-individual level, with associated benefits.

 

[cpwill]

Negatives:

* Sports: There are home school sports leagues and club leagues, but, the simple fact is that it is harder to do organized sports outside of the government school system. If this is something that is very important to either of your girls, know they may experience buyers remorse as they realize that. We have two in a local BJJ dojo, and a third wanted to do drums instead, so, he ended up at a local studio where they teach kids by putting them together into rock and roll bands, and making them all learn together .

* Effort and Stress: It is real. Bluntly (sorry, but I have to be), do not commit to this if you do not love these kids alot more than you love being carefree. There are portions of the homeschool community where the parents want to live like hippies and teach their kids to milk goats instead of math versus teaching them to milk goats and do math.... and they ill-serve their kids. It is going to take stuff away from you that you wish it didn't in terms of time, bandwidth, money, etc. Be ready for that tradeoff. I promise it is worth it (esp. given the relationship and flexibility piece above), but it is there.


Recommendations:

* Find a Community: We use Classical Conversations (though I don't agree with everything they teach) as a foundation for our curriculum and a weekly scholastic community (if the openly Christian worldview in that does not appeal to you, I would still urge you to look into the Classical Education model. I am a big, big, fan of this structure, which better mirror's child brain development than the standard post-Dewey industrial-style system we grew up in). Respectfully, as a first timer, you don't know what is going to end up throwing you for a loop yet, and you are going to find a lot of hiccups. Having other home school moms to lean on and ask will be your best resource (and they can also point you to a lot of helpful resources, second-hand curricula, etc.). Home Schooling is growing a lot in this country, and it is very probable you have communities near you you can choose from.

* Expect to use Different Curricula for Each Child: It took us a bit to learn this, to my youngest's detriment, but, for best results, you want to shape the curricula to the child. I am particularly here thinking of Math, though there is no reason why it should be limited to that. This can cost more time and money (see: Effort and Stress), but, will greatly benefit your girls (see: Flexibility).

* Require a Second Language: Learning a different language does things for your brain nothing else does. My kids did Latin for years (why Latin? Why Latin. That's a fun video. ), and now want to add Spanish.

* Require Practical Skills: @Ishm's teaching auto mechanics is perfect. Also make them learn to cook full meals. Also make them learn to do basic handyman tasks. Eco Science? Grow a Garden. Biology? Raise a meat rabbit, and then harvest it. Each of my kids is going to additionally take on an internship-intro-job thing at a skill set in the trades; my oldest wants to work at the local auto-repair shop, and wants to take associated courses at the community college as part of his dual-enrollment.

* Dad should be involved: I didn't realize how important this was until my job life slowed down and I was able to do so. Find a topic / subject / extracurricular he can lead, and to the extent possible, have him go back over material with them when you and kid are struggling over a concept. (There will be things that you explain, very simply, and very clearly, that the child simply does not understand. Then you will watch your husband hug them, explain it in almost the exact same way, and they will light up and get it. This will be infuriating, and you will have to forgive him).


Support from the State:

* None: My State started this year offering a wider benefit, but we are not taking it at current. If you are looking to make sure they track the state's learning objectives, however (though I would not recommend letting them control you), they should be publicly available, and can help you scaffold when you don't know (say) where a 12 year old should "be" in terms of English Composition .

This is exciting @ClaraD I wish you all the very best, and please, if you have any questions, just @ me. I'm trying to stay mostly off this place for a while, while other parts of my life get busy, but, talking to folks in your situation is always worth it.

 

[cpwill]

My daughters are 10 and 12. My 10 year old is autistic, but not severe. She is diagnosed level 2 but is between 1 and 2. She’s verbal but has regressive traits. My 12 year old is a year ahead. The 10 year old is far behind. (They are my bonus daughters) mom didn’t care during Covid and both fell far behind. Over summer the older one has caught up and is actually ahead. Both are begging to homeschool

I agree with taking kids' inputs, but, you have to make the call - and if they disagree with you... you still have to make it. In this case, that may have additional risks if bio-mom wants to make trouble. You will know the particulars of that situation, but, I have seen parents in the home school community use the kids' schooling as another weapon in court. If you haven't already, I would recommend having her on board, and it would probably be better to have that in writing, just in case.

However, you (and they) will find plenty of kids dealing with those issues (and, I have seen, a more welcoming/gracious atmosphere) in home school communities.

 

[ClaraD]

I agree with taking kids' inputs, but, you have to make the call - and if they disagree with you... you still have to make it. In this case, that may have additional risks if bio-mom wants to make trouble. You will know the particulars of that situation, but, I have seen parents in the home school community use the kids' schooling as another weapon in court. If you haven't already, I would recommend having her on board, and it would probably be better to have that in writing, just in case.

However, you (and they) will find plenty of kids dealing with those issues (and, I have seen, a more welcoming/gracious atmosphere) in home school communities.

I agree she may make trouble. We cannot have contact with her until our next court date. I will discuss it with the judge.
Bio mom has a no contact order against her. She cannot come within 500 ft of us or the girls. It’s also came to light that during Covid they did not participate in virtual classes, especially my little one who is autistic. The older one, without any challenges also did not participate

 

[ClaraD]

Negatives:

* Sports: There are home school sports leagues and club leagues, but, the simple fact is that it is harder to do organized sports outside of the government school system. If this is something that is very important to either of your girls, know they may experience buyers remorse as they realize that. We have two in a local BJJ dojo, and a third wanted to do drums instead, so, he ended up at a local studio where they teach kids by putting them together into rock and roll bands, and making them all learn together .

* Effort and Stress: It is real. Bluntly (sorry, but I have to be), do not commit to this if you do not love these kids alot more than you love being carefree. There are portions of the homeschool community where the parents want to live like hippies and teach their kids to milk goats instead of math versus teaching them to milk goats and do math.... and they ill-serve their kids. It is going to take stuff away from you that you wish it didn't in terms of time, bandwidth, money, etc. Be ready for that tradeoff. I promise it is worth it (esp. given the relationship and flexibility piece above), but it is there.


Recommendations:

* Find a Community: We use Classical Conversations (though I don't agree with everything they teach) as a foundation for our curriculum and a weekly scholastic community (if the openly Christian worldview in that does not appeal to you, I would still urge you to look into the Classical Education model. I am a big, big, fan of this structure, which better mirror's child brain development than the standard post-Dewey industrial-style system we grew up in). Respectfully, as a first timer, you don't know what is going to end up throwing you for a loop yet, and you are going to find a lot of hiccups. Having other home school moms to lean on and ask will be your best resource (and they can also point you to a lot of helpful resources, second-hand curricula, etc.). Home Schooling is growing a lot in this country, and it is very probable you have communities near you you can choose from.

* Expect to use Different Curricula for Each Child: It took us a bit to learn this, to my youngest's detriment, but, for best results, you want to shape the curricula to the child. I am particularly here thinking of Math, though there is no reason why it should be limited to that. This can cost more time and money (see: Effort and Stress), but, will greatly benefit your girls (see: Flexibility).

* Require a Second Language: Learning a different language does things for your brain nothing else does. My kids did Latin for years (why Latin? Why Latin. That's a fun video. ), and now want to add Spanish.

* Require Practical Skills: @Ishm's teaching auto mechanics is perfect. Also make them learn to cook full meals. Also make them learn to do basic handyman tasks. Eco Science? Grow a Garden. Biology? Raise a meat rabbit, and then harvest it. Each of my kids is going to additionally take on an internship-intro-job thing at a skill set in the trades; my oldest wants to work at the local auto-repair shop, and wants to take associated courses at the community college as part of his dual-enrollment.

* Dad should be involved: I didn't realize how important this was until my job life slowed down and I was able to do so. Find a topic / subject / extracurricular he can lead, and to the extent possible, have him go back over material with them when you and kid are struggling over a concept. (There will be things that you explain, very simply, and very clearly, that the child simply does not understand. Then you will watch your husband hug them, explain it in almost the exact same way, and they will light up and get it. This will be infuriating, and you will have to forgive him).


Support from the State:

* None: My State started this year offering a wider benefit, but we are not taking it at current. If you are looking to make sure they track the state's learning objectives, however (though I would not recommend letting them control you), they should be publicly available, and can help you scaffold when you don't know (say) where a 12 year old should "be" in terms of English Composition .

This is exciting @ClaraD I wish you all the very best, and please, if you have any questions, just @ me. I'm trying to stay mostly off this place for a while, while other parts of my life get busy, but, talking to folks in your situation is always worth it.

After coffee I’ll read over this. Thank you

 

[ClaraD]

I agree with taking kids' inputs, but, you have to make the call - and if they disagree with you... you still have to make it. In this case, that may have additional risks if bio-mom wants to make trouble. You will know the particulars of that situation, but, I have seen parents in the home school community use the kids' schooling as another weapon in court. If you haven't already, I would recommend having her on board, and it would probably be better to have that in writing, just in case.

However, you (and they) will find plenty of kids dealing with those issues (and, I have seen, a more welcoming/gracious atmosphere) in home school communities.

ok, so, I read all of your post...and agree with most all of it. I am feeling more confident in this decision. I think it would be best for my younger daughter. In Georgia, they also have the ability to do the classes online through a public academy. We like the mobility...I can literally sit in a library with them while they are online and I can assist them with stuff they don't understand.
I like the being very close to the girls idea...we are very attached to them and they are very attached to us. In fact, the oldest actually started today. The school, they know the issues going on, went ahead and entered her in the system. They had just received the paperwork yesterday. She was sad and was begging to stay home. She is 12 and she is really a good kid. It felt like I was abandoning her so I had to go quickly before I said nope, I will just fight the court...Honestly, I don't think the court will be against this once they see their IEP. What is amazing is the younger daughter has excellent memory recall. She remembers dates, locations, etc. When she came, she did not know how to write her name. While it may not seem like much, in 2 months she has learned her address, name, alphabet, and numbers. I have also taught her some simple words with flash cards. She is 10. Her IEP says she is at kindergarten level. They plan on giving her a new evaluation since she has been with us all summer and are hoping the new environment has advanced her some. She definitely isn't at 4th grade level, but she is above kindergarten imo.
Your kids sound very intelligent. I like that they are able to self direct. I hope these girls can do so as well. I don't know if I can catch her up, but maybe I can. I am huge on history, so they will probably be crammed with historical facts. I may have to let them use a zoom class for math. I am good with business math. I suck at Algebra and with fractions. I can teach the foreign languages to them without direction. They already know both English and Spanish. French is their choice for another language. I fully agree that the capacity for foreign language, improves the over all outcome. I am thrilled to hear that you are teaching your kids foreign language. If you need help with the Spanish you know how to IM me and I will gladly help out there. I taught school in Honduras.
I do have a question. When did you start adding in subjects like Sociology, Government, Geography, etc?

 

[cpwill]

ok, so, I read all of your post...and agree with most all of it. I am feeling more confident in this decision. I think it would be best for my younger daughter. In Georgia, they also have the ability to do the classes online through a public academy. We like the mobility...I can literally sit in a library with them while they are online and I can assist them with stuff they don't understand.
I like the being very close to the girls idea...we are very attached to them and they are very attached to us. In fact, the oldest actually started today. The school, they know the issues going on, went ahead and entered her in the system. They had just received the paperwork yesterday. She was sad and was begging to stay home. She is 12 and she is really a good kid. It felt like I was abandoning her so I had to go quickly before I said nope, I will just fight the court...Honestly, I don't think the court will be against this once they see their IEP. What is amazing is the younger daughter has excellent memory recall. She remembers dates, locations, etc. When she came, she did not know how to write her name. While it may not seem like much, in 2 months she has learned her address, name, alphabet, and numbers. I have also taught her some simple words with flash cards. She is 10. Her IEP says she is at kindergarten level. They plan on giving her a new evaluation since she has been with us all summer and are hoping the new environment has advanced her some. She definitely isn't at 4th grade level, but she is above kindergarten imo.

There are a variety of ways to test, but, Every Child Is Different, and will develop at different speeds. For example:

Your kids sound very intelligent.

Two of mine are well "ahead" of "schedule", which means they simply need to keep getting demanding material. One, according to the annual testing that our states requires, is overall below average, but it's all over the place. She scores badly on reading comprehension, but great on vocabulary. Testing can be more disenheartening to a parent than maybe it should be (Certainly I feel it. We are on the Dory Plan with that one).

I like that they are able to self direct. I hope these girls can do so as well.

One of the neat things about developing maturity is that it doesn't require a sky-high IQ, or past without a neglectful parent, or a given reading level. It just requires expectations and practice, and any parent can provide that . Raise them with that expectation in their schooling, and you may be surprised when it "clicks" for them that They Can Be The Boss as soon as they want to be

I don't know if I can catch her up, but maybe I can. I am huge on history, so they will probably be crammed with historical facts.

You are speaking my language. *Love* History.

I may have to let them use a zoom class for math. I am good with business math. I suck at Algebra and with fractions.

Sames. We ended up getting a tutor once we moved beyond basic Algebra, but there are free options (Khan Academy comes to mind)

I can teach the foreign languages to them without direction. They already know both English and Spanish. French is their choice for another language. I fully agree that the capacity for foreign language, improves the over all outcome. I am thrilled to hear that you are teaching your kids foreign language.

We were in Japan when they were little - it was impossible not to notice the difference between those who had built the skillset and those who hadn't. I wish they liked Latin more (though I get it), but, maybe it will make Spanish and French and others more fun .

If you need help with the Spanish you know how to IM me and I will gladly help out there. I taught school in Honduras.

I will gladly take help. For Latin we use Henle, but, Latin has the advantage of being a "not-living" language, which means I don't have to worry about things like Castillan v Mexican (which is what he will get from our neighbors, and from working) v Honduran v Other Spanish's. Do you have a particular version you recommend as good prep to have visibility on all the others?

 

[cpwill]

I do have a question. When did you start adding in subjects like Sociology, Government, Geography, etc?

This is tied to the Classical Model (welcome to the Trivium!) that we are using. Geography starts when they are young - your girls are old enough now to start doing things like memorizing broad maps and geography at the national / continent level.

Government and Sociology we saved until the "Rhetoric" phase (7th Grade through High School). Basically, take the point in the child's life when they want to start arguing with you, and set them up to argue with the material (and each other) as a learning tool.

They take a basic class on our legal system in the 8th Grade (which concludes with a Mock Trial - judges in our area tend to be delighted to be asked to come in and play their roles for a bunch of kids trying to be prosecutors and defense attorney's). They take a basic Economics class in 9th Grade (and have to hold a debate on an economic issue, which forces independent research - most do Minimum Wage because it's easily grasped). We covered intro to Philosophy and British History in 10th Grade, and 11th Grade will cover the history of American Governance and more Advanced Philosophy for thinking through systems. Their Senior Year will feature a Thesis paper that they have to write on a topic within that general area, and will be largely self-directed.

 

[ClaraD]

There are a variety of ways to test, but, Every Child Is Different, and will develop at different speeds. For example:



Two of mine are well "ahead" of "schedule", which means they simply need to keep getting demanding material. One, according to the annual testing that our states requires, is overall below average, but it's all over the place. She scores badly on reading comprehension, but great on vocabulary. Testing can be more disenheartening to a parent than maybe it should be (Certainly I feel it. We are on the Dory Plan with that one).



One of the neat things about maturity is that it doesn't require a high IQ or a given reading level. It just requires expectations and practice, and any parent can provide that



You are speaking my language. *Love* History.



Sames. We ended up getting a tutor once we moved beyond basic Algebra, but there are free options (Khan Academy comes to mind)



We were in Japan when they were little - it was impossible not to notice the difference between those who had built the skillset and those who hadn't. I wish they liked Latin more (though I get it), but, maybe it will make Spanish and French and others more fun .



I will gladly take help. For Latin we use Henle, but, Latin has the advantage of being a "not-living" language, which means I don't have to worry about things like Castillan v Mexican (which is what he will get from our neighbors, and from working) v Honduran v Other Spanish's. Do you have a particular version you recommend as good prep to have visibility on all the others?

I think Central and South American dialects are the better versions of Spanish. Hondurans have a lot of unique idioms not used elsewhere like ‘pucha vos’ or hasta los queques whereas Colombia is an easy and recognizable dialect. Having access to Spanish language television is worth its weight in gold. A few hours of that daily plus the Latin language background and they will become fluent easily.
Thanks for the tip on math assistance that will help. Tomorrow we are going to see the covered bridges here in Georgia