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Gay Marriage, is it right to stop it?

Gay Marriage, is it right to stop it?

  • No

    Votes: 99 79.2%
  • Yes, explain

    Votes: 26 20.8%

  • Total voters
    125
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First of all, you are lumping together all heterosexuals. I, and most on here who defend legalizing gm for that matter, are heterosexuals. Heterosexuals are not the group identity of those opposing gm. The main thing that connects most (not all) of those who are against gay marriage is religion. However, not all religions, or even Christians for that matter, are opposed to gay marriage. Some Christian denominations do not even consider homosexuality a sin. Also, Christians are made up of individuals, and not all individuals accept all the teachings of the church they attend, so there are also many individual Christians who do not consider homosexuality a sin. Along with that, there are also some religions and religious people who consider homosexuality a sin, but choose not to oppose secular gay marriage, because they do not consider the government's institution of marriage to be the same as private/religious marriage.

Second, it really isn't that hard to compare the bad effects of gay marriage to the good effects. Gay marriage is legal in 5 states now, and DC. I haven't heard of many of those "bad things" that you're worrying about happening in those states. Also, we have history to help us to determine how people may react to changes that they wouldn't necessarily like, but that really don't affect them, especially where marriage is concerned.

Also, there are some important legal benefits to being married that don't come from just living together in a married-like lifestyle. One that comes to mind, that many don't consider, is spouses cannot be compelled to testify against their spouse in court. Some others include being able to make medical decisions for the spouse, ensure that each is protected in case of separation, and makes entering into certain legal contracts easier. There are plenty more advantages to being married, but much of them come down to one contract to take the place of several.
 
Does it pain you that much to use the word Marriage to describe a Gay couples union? That seems somewhat childish.
 

What is so special about homosexual sex that it should be used as an excuse not to testify against someone you care about? If my best friend got in trouble, I wouldn't want to testify against him. I think my best friend and I are closer than most married couples. The trait that distinguishes us from a homosexual couple is that we don't have sex with each other. How does that make our relationship any less worthy of being protected from having to testify against each other?

Some others include being able to make medical decisions for the spouse,

Why? What if my spouse can't bring herself to pull the plug when I am a vegetable despite my wishes? Or what if I just don't want her to be burdened with that kind of responsibility? I would rather have my best friend making that kind of decision. Why can't I get the same privileges with my best friend?

I am somehow missing the logical connection that relates any of these privileges to sex.
 
I am very secular, especially politically, and my personal religious/mystical beliefs bear no relation on how I feel about Gay Marriage. Indeed, my connection to my higher spiritual power is very personal, and I have not been in a church for any sort of service in a long (five years? Six?) time.

Yet, I am consistently and constantly against gay marriage in any shape or form it resides in. Too many, the debate is not framed by morality v. immortality, but instead by the pervading sense that Gay Marriage is a tipping point in our society that validates the long held belief that equality can be enforced at the point of a gun, as well as equality must come before the freedom of speech, the freedom of religion, and the freedom to assemble.

Now, this may not be completely fair. I have many gay friends who I have no problems with. My barber, who I love dearly in the most platonic sense, is also gay as well as one of my Aunts. I have no problem with homosexuality in the slightest, but I have all the problems in the world with the various factions that have aligned themselves to push upon the public the moniker "Gay Marriage."
 

No, you are mistakenly relating marriage to sex. Sex is not marriage. A civil marriage to someone is directly giving them the legal rights to make those decisions. And the spousal testimony rights are directly from the US government. You haven't really argued against anything I have said.

The government gives anyone who is married the right not to testify. At the moment, since only heterosexual marriages are recognized by the federal government, that means that only having heterosexual intimacies with someone actually gives you the right not to testify against your spouse. So the question should be, what makes heterosexual sex so special that it determines who someone should be protected from testifying against or not being having testimony from them used against you?

Also, if you had same sex marriage, then you could marry your best friend legally if you would prefer to have him make all those decisions and get the benefits from that marriage. You could even enter into a civil marriage with him, and be privately married to a woman you loved if you prefer.
 

What is so special about heterosexual sex? I fail to see how the ability to procreate would give them the right to not testify against their spouse, their peer as the head of a family unit.


You could marry your best friend and not have sex. You could also have a living will or give your best friend Power of Attorney.

You are focusing on one specific right here. There are tons of rights that married people are afforded.
 
No, you are mistakenly relating marriage to sex.

No. Precisely the opposite. Everyone else on the thread is relating marriage to sex, and I am the only one asking why. If you divorce the concept of marriage from the concept of sex, then the whole homosexual marriage argument falls apart. Straight men who want to marry other straight men are being discriminated against. Are they being discriminated against for being straight? Homosexual men who want to marry homosexual women are not being discriminated against. They are free to do so. Without connecting sex to marriage (and by marriage I mean this exclusive list of privileges of which we are speaking) then sexual orientation has no bearing.


See? Right there. You accuse me of mistakenly connecting sex and marriage, and then you connect them yourself in the very next paragraph.

So the question should be, what makes heterosexual sex so special that it determines who someone should be protected from testifying against or not being having testimony from them used against you?

Dunno. Seems silly to me. Maybe the government shouldn't be involved in giving out goodies based on your sexual relationships. Whaddaya think?

Also, if you had same sex marriage, then you could marry your best friend legally if you would prefer to have him make all those decisions and get the benefits from that marriage. You could even enter into a civil marriage with him, and be privately married to a woman you loved if you prefer.
Sex is not marriage. A civil marriage to someone is directly giving them the legal rights to make those decisions. And the spousal testimony rights are directly from the US government. You haven't really argued against anything I have said.

The government gives anyone who is married the right not to testify. At the moment, since only heterosexual marriages are recognized by the federal government, that means that only having heterosexual intimacies with someone actually gives you the right not to testify against your spouse. So the question should be, what makes heterosexual sex so special that it determines who someone should be protected from testifying against or not being having testimony from them used against you?


And gay couples could be publicly married to someone of the opposite sex, and privately married to someone of the same sex.

Marriage just isn't a business in which the government should be involved.
 
What is so special about heterosexual sex? I fail to see how the ability to procreate would give them the right to not testify against their spouse, their peer as the head of a family unit.

I know, right? It's kinda ridiculous.



You could marry your best friend and not have sex.

No I can't. He's a dude. If my best friend was a chick I suppose I could do that. Then again, gay men can marry gay women and not have sex.

You could also have a living will or give your best friend Power of Attorney.

Gay men can also have a living will or give their partner power of attorney.

You are focusing on one specific right here. There are tons of rights that married people are afforded.

And what makes my relationship with my best friend unworthy of any of those "rights"? Or for that matter, my relationship with my mom? Or my little brother?
 
No I can't. He's a dude. If my best friend was a chick I suppose I could do that. Then again, gay men can marry gay women and not have sex.

Didn't WindoverVocalChords have some strange arrangement like that?
I thought she said she and her partner married two gay men, or something.
Maybe it was that she married her partner's ex-husband, and her partner married her ex's boyfriend.
It was something very bizarre like that.
 

You're right. The reason we generally use hetersexual and homosexual to describe marriages is because it is easy and what is most often the case. However, marriages certainly do exist between people who have no sex at all or who don't have an attraction to each other at all.

However, you're argument then becomes one of semantics. I will use opposite and same sex marriage to describe things to you, since you are insisting.

The government has good reasons to be in the civil marriage business. It has already been shown in this thread and others how marriage is beneficial to society as a whole. I believe CC posted some of the argument just within a few pages of this one. It also helps to protect individuals from abuses related to family structure and inheritance, and makes it so that a couple only has to make one contract instead of several to resolve legal issues that affect most couples, such as those I have mentioned. Most people who get married, want their choosen spouse to be the one to make those legal/medical decisions for them. Those who marry for some other reason, and want someone else to make such decisions, can designate the difference through their own legal contracts.

The spousal privilege laws are considered necessary for marriage. I believe they are considered along the same lines as attorney/client privileges and doctor/patient privileges. The difference is that it is assumed that someone will tell their spouse things they would not say to anyone else, because of their intimacy level. It is really a privacy issue.

Spousal privilege - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Now, since you wish to make a distinction, the government assumes that most people want to be married due to an intimate connection. Because of this intimate connection, the couple wishes to make each other legal family. Now this is not always true. In fact, some opposite sex marriages have been merely smoke screens to hide one or both partners' homosexuality, especially during times when there were laws against homosexuality or when it may have been damaging to the person's career to come out.

I would love to know what these "goodies" of marriage are. Now certainly, there are some tax benefits to being married, but there are tax benefits to plenty of things that are seen as a benefit to society, such as charity and taking care of family members who do not/cannot take full care of themselves for whatever reason. The decision-making part is as much of a responsibility as a "goody", and can be designated to someone besides a spouse. The private businesses make their own rules on what "goodies" are given to spouses. Some businesses will even give those "goodies" to partners or whoever their worker wishes to designate.
 
I know, right? It's kinda ridiculous.


Except that we are social creatures who create family units. The government has a vested interest in promoting family units. Sex is not necessary to have a family. Most of the time, it is a part of marriage though.

The government is discriminating against a group of people who wish to have their family unit given the same treatment from the government.



Gay men can also have a living will or give their partner power of attorney.

That isn't the whole family package of rights though.
 

In psychology, there is no such thing as proof of causation, so the language used is always the "may be caused," "research supports the hypothesis," etc. kind. It's not concrete what the exact cause of different sexual orientations is, but that's the way it looks so far. So if it is a combination of genetics, pre-natal and post-natal environment, brain structure, or whatever, it's fair to say that research supports the generalization that people are "born gay."

Regardless, I really don't understand what your point in debating the cause of homosexuality is. Let's pretend it has nothing to do with any kind of predisposition (even though research indicates otherwise), what is your alternative hypothesis? What do you think causes it? And why does that have any bearing on this discussion? Something has to cause it, since people blatantly don't choose their sexuality.


I'm talking about sexual orientation in general. People don't choose it. People don't choose to be gay just like people don't choose to be straight. Your avoidance of my question makes me think that you didn't choose your sexual orientation.


Difference between homosexuality and any mental disorder is that homosexuality itself hasn't been found to have any inherently negative effects on any aspect of humans. Whereas obsessive-compulsive disorder, for example, has serious negative consequences for the individual and antisocial personality disorder, for example, can lead to negative effects for both the individual others in society, there are no analogous negative effects associated with homosexuality itself for the individual or for other members of society.


I mean, what makes you believe there will be serious effects on our society? As others have pointed out, there are now 9 nations around the world that have legalized same-sex marriage, as well as 5 states and the District of Columbia here in the U.S. I haven't heard of any kind of societal collapse as a result, and it's been legal for years in some places. If you have heard about these negative effects, please point me to the article or report. On top of that, research indicates that same-sex marriage improves the lives of LGBT people and their families. And all I've heard about the negative effects are empty assertions about societal collapse without even an ounce of concrete evidence to support such radical assertions. So what ON EARTH makes you believe that there will be serious "bad" effects on society? Just a hunch?


Again, I'd love an example of a "potential risk" and your reason for believing that it is a risk. If you don't see any benefit that is worth the "potential risks," then you should read about the 1,138 rights and responsibilities of marriage provided by federal law. Rights and responsibilities of marriages in the United States - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. It's worth it to plenty of people, especially when the only argument against it are these phantom "risks" to society that don't seem to be evidenced anywhere.
 

In the instance of homosexuality. There is plenty of proof of causation in other behaviors related tot he brain. It's my assumption that homosexuality is a choice based on the "evidence" that I have seen. As such, I feel that the decision over whether or not to accept it as a society is also a choice.


My point is that if it were shown, conclusively, to indeed be beyond the choice of homosexuals, then I would support gay marriage regardless of my personal feelings on the matter.

I'm talking about sexual orientation in general. People don't choose it. People don't choose to be gay just like people don't choose to be straight. Your avoidance of my question makes me think that you didn't choose your sexual orientation.

The majority of the "evidence" is derived from interviews with homosexuals. The homosexual, as a defense mechanism, is likely to believe, or make him/herself believe that they had no other choice. It has been proven, conclusively that there are people with absolutely no impulse control. That lack of control doesn't make what they do "right" or acceptable by society, depending on the uncontrollable impulse.


That doesn't in an of itself make it acceptable. I personally believe that homosexual marriage will have no direct and definable impact on me or my family beyond what I feel is further damage to a nearly destroyed concept of marriage.


I like that though there is no concrete evidence supporting the validity of homosexuality, you ask for concrete evidence that it will have negative affects on our society. Was it generally assumed that the invention of the light bulb and motor vehicle would relatively rapidly destroy our environment? Apples and oranges? Maybe, but, there are unforseen negative affects...sometimes dire.....to almost everyhting, eventually we are going to have to consider them.
 
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how bout we get rid of marriage and have free love then we could rapidly populate the solar system by crowding the earth and we would then have access to massive amounts of new resources and of course gays can do do free love with whoever they want including guys. everybody wins!
 
Except that we are social creatures who create family units. The government has a vested interest in promoting family units. Sex is not necessary to have a family. Most of the time, it is a part of marriage though.

Han and Chewie are a family unit. Why shouldn't they receive the same benefits that Beru and Owen do?

The government is discriminating against a group of people who wish to have their family unit given the same treatment from the government.

Yeah. that is the entire point of marriage licenses. It is in fact the sole reason they exist.

That isn't the whole family package of rights though.

Ok, well, those were the examples that were given. Use another example and I will be happy to demonstrate how it too should be equally applicable to Han and Chewie despite the platonic nature of their relationship.
 

Actually, if Han and Chewie existed, they absolutely should be allowed to enter into a legal marriage contract. (Just so you realize, in the Star Wars universe, I'm pretty sure that Chewbacca was considered a humanoid adult that could legally consent to enter into contracts with other humanoids, such as marriage.) In fact, I bet a lot of people on the pro-SSM would have no problem if two guy friends feel that they are close enough to enter into a legal marriage contract with each other, whatever their reasons. Although, it might be a disadvantage to them if either or both of them happen to find a partner (of whatever gender) that they would rather be married to and give those legal/medical decisions to instead.
 

What's the possibility that they are doing so simply for the financial benifits, and the right not to have to testify against each other, and then when other situations arise that necisitate dissolution they simply file for an uncontested divorce? Benifit to society?
 

Probably about the same or even less of a possibility than some opposite sex couples doing so for the same reasons. I don't really know why people think that this would be prevalent when same sex marriage is legal than it is with opposite sex marriage legal. I knew a few people in the military who would marry someone just to get the housing and/or the benefits. They usually only got caught if they were doing something stupid, like not living together or lying about where one of them was living. How do you prove someone is in love? How do you prove that a couple is not marrying for financial reasons? And, would it be much different than marrying because the couple had a kid together, but they really didn't like each other after that one night affair, so they decide to just have an open marriage?
 

So, you know people in the military that twisted, broke, or disregarded the rules?
 
So, you know people in the military that twisted, broke, or disregarded the rules?

Yes, I knew people who would have done it, and one who did. And I knew a civilian chick who was actually looking for military men to do this with. But I didn't care why someone was choosing to get married. It really wasn't any of my business. It wasn't my place to say that they shouldn't get married and I certainly couldn't prove that they were doing it for the benefits.
 
Han and Chewie are a family unit. Why shouldn't they receive the same benefits that Beru and Owen do?

Han has the hots for Leah. I don't know who Beru and Owen are.

If they want to be a family, that's fine with me.





Ok, well, those were the examples that were given. Use another example and I will be happy to demonstrate how it too should be equally applicable to Han and Chewie despite the platonic nature of their relationship.

All the rights included in marriage. Han and Chewie should be able to get married if they so choose.
 
Han has the hots for Leah. I don't know who Beru and Owen are.

If they want to be a family, that's fine with me.


All the rights included in marriage. Han and Chewie should be able to get married if they so choose.

Beru and Owen were Luke's aunt and uncle. They were the ones burned while he was out searching for C3PO and R2D2.
 
Beru and Owen were Luke's aunt and uncle. They were the ones burned while he was out searching for C3PO and R2D2.

:doh

I should have known.

May the Force be with you.
 
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