Finally, Some Real Parenting Around HereTexas father Jose Lagares was none too pleased when he learned his fourth grade son was bullying his classmates. So he made him hold up a pink sign at a busy intersection that read, "I am a bully. Honk if you hate bullies."
I think that is horrible parenting. Who knows how the kid will react? He could shrink forever and become the one bullied in the future. He could become angry and become an even worse bully. Something else unexpected could happen.
If you want some sort of public announcement just have the boy wear a tshirt with you phone number for other students to call, like those "how is my driving" stickers, so that way you are notified if you kid misbehaves and have the opportunity to take care of it.
Innovative parenting. Finally, Some Real Parenting Around Here
I don't know . . . 4th grade. I don't think it's a good idea to humiliate children. Especially that young. If that's "the best ya' got," with a 10-year-old, I think you're going to have real problems with the kid's 14.
Not so much humiliating. I think he is enjoying the attention he is getting with his dad in the background.
If I had a kid like that, I would start by taking away his favorite thing. Then I would take away the thing that he replaced it with (and keep doing that). Then if that didn't work, I would get creative.
Boredom is often a child's worst enemy and it can be used to make the most effective punishments that I have ever dispensed.
IMO (says childless Maggie), once it's been made very clear to a child that he enjoys privileges rather than entitlements, I think most of the battle (with a normal child) is won.
Video games, TVs in rooms, cell phones, privacy on computers, computers for any other use but school, spending money . . . all courtesy of the benevolent dictators called Mom & Dad.
All of those devices alleviate boredom. At least with most kids. My kids are wonderfully creative enough to create whole worlds out of rocks and sticks, even at the age of 12. I don't know how I got so lucky with that one, but their imagination will serve them well in life, so it makes me very proud of them.
As for the growing up type lessons, I very liberally sprinkle my expectations and am very quick to explain why I told them not to do something when they inevitably don't follow my instructions and something bad happens. It works for me at least. They usually listen to that same instruction the next time around. If not, I take it up a notch. But I have been rewarded with kids that I can reason with, even my nine year old is someone I can explain my motivations to and he will usually understand why its for the best and go with it, even if he doesn't personally want to. The more he internalizes it, the more he will make the right choice the first time and the more I can trust him to do well on his own, which for me is the entire point of being a parent. Making my kids not need me.
There are very formal rules in my house, because I don't need them. The rules I do have are based on immediate dangers to health and safety. Otherwise, I expect them to not need rules. It works pretty well.
"Give 'em roots, and give 'em wings."
If I had a kid like that, I would start by taking away his favorite thing. Then I would take away the thing that he replaced it with (and keep doing that). Then if that didn't work, I would get creative.
Boredom is often a child's worst enemy and it can be used to make the most effective punishments that I have ever dispensed. You would be surprised with what I have accomplished with an intentional long meandering boring lecture, especially if you force them to make eye contact the whole time (which keeps their mind from wandering)
The problem with the long lectures is I cant take them, even if I am the giving them. My philosophy is to keep it short sweet and to the point. If talk don't work then fining, working, and the occasional spanking do. I have went out of my way to perfect the LOOK, so all I have to do is look at them. It makes me feel bad even when they are smaller and start sniffling, almost like cad. But it seems work and well. So sniffles or not its what I do.
Have you guys considered the victims? Bullying linked to half of the suicides among 10 - 14 year-olds.
And what lesson is the bully of a father teaching his son? No, there are better ways. I hate bullies. I would stop it wherever I saw it with children. But "bullying back" isn't a good answer.
Can you suggest some of the better ways?
I think that is horrible parenting. Who knows how the kid will react? He could shrink forever and become the one bullied in the future. He could become angry and become an even worse bully. Something else unexpected could happen.
If you want some sort of public announcement just have the boy wear a tshirt with you phone number for other students to call, like those "how is my driving" stickers, so that way you are notified if you kid misbehaves and have the opportunity to take care of it.
Are you a parent?
Of three children
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?