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talloulou said:Should a women have the right to not tell a man he has fathered a child? Is that a womens right too? Do women not only have the right to decide whether a man is going to be a father or not but also the right to decide whether he knows he is a father or not?
talloulou said:Should a women have the right to not tell a man he has fathered a child? Is that a womens right too? Do women not only have the right to decide whether a man is going to be a father or not but also the right to decide whether he knows he is a father or not?
I forgot to add the poll and I think its too late. Can someone fix it? Options would just be yes or no.
Befuddled_Stoner said:No, women should not have to right to deny that knowledge to men. Even if she's the victim of incest or rape or something like that, I think the scumbag deserves to know he'll be expected to pay out the *** for the next 18 years. I can't think of any good reasons why she should be allowed to not tell him he's a father. Maybe if he's incommunicado or mentally incapable of dealing with the news, but that would only be in extremely rare cases.
talloulou said:Check out this article and tell me feminists have not taken things too far....
"Simply because we have the means to determine biological parentage with greater certainty does not mean that it is in the best interests of children to do so."
http://www.law.msu.edu/amicus/wi_2003-04/paternity.html
and that article is just about why men who have proven they aren't fathers should continue to keep paying child support. It doesn't even begin to address the problem of men who were never told they were fathers!
Couples and individuals alike may contract with egg donors, sperm donors, and gestational surrogates to create their families. As a result, reliance on biology as the determinative means by which to establish legal parentage no longer makes sense. Functional parenthood—emphasizing the daily, routine, and even mundane aspects of everyday parenting—provides a more realistic approach to defining legal parentage, especially for nontraditional families.
Kelzie said:Their beef is with new laws that allow "fathers" to disown their children after 12, 15 years if they find out it's not theirs. Course, what that would do to the kids evidently doesn't cross these "fathers" minds. This article is about protecting kids, not making men pay up.
talloulou said:Well if a woman knowing lied to a man thats paternity fraud and while its not a crime currently in most states it ought to be. Imagine finding out a kid is not really yours years later. Furthermore what about the real father who is out in the world somewhere completely unaware he has a kid? All 'cause a women decided to play games? How can you defend that?
Kelzie said:I can't defend that. It's a horrible thing to do. Except the father's punishing the kid, not the mom. How can you defend that?
teacher said:Is a woman more the parent of a child then the man?
Oh somebody please say yes.
It will be ugly.
talloulou said:I think we can start pushing for paternity fraud laws! Maybe making it a criminal offense will get women to think twice before doing it thus solving some of the corruption.
Kelzie said:I can't defend that. It's a horrible thing to do. Except the father's punishing the kid, not the mom. How can you defend that?
Kelzie said:And when the father does it when the kids 8, than what? This isn't about the mother's lie, or the father's anger. It should be about what's best for the kid.
Blind man said:So what if the woman doesn't know who the father is? should the courts just pick some random guy and make him pay for it for 18 years? Kinda like Jury Duty? kids need support right? i can just see it now, you go to the mailbox, open up a letter DAMN, I got child duty. making a man pay for a child that's not his is ludicrous. Now if he wants to pay, and has been, then he should have equal rights to the mother. None of this, the father pays for 10 years, finds out it's not his kid, still has to pay, and she can leave with the kid and go whereever and he gets no custody rights whatsoever. THAT is what is criminal. i'd even say that if he pays for a child that's not his and doesn't wish to be the father, that he has every right to sue the woman and/or the real father for every dime of that money + interest + punitive damages for the emotional damage and the time of his life that he lost because some lying skank decided it was convenient and made a decision for him as to what he would do with his life.
Divorce is also harmful to a child. I guess using your logic that we can't harm the child we should forbid divorce as well.
talloulou said:You say when the father does it.....does what? You make it seem like he is the one who did something wrong. If a father finds out he is not the biological father of a kid when the kid is 8 who the hecks fault is that? It's the mothers....noone elses. She should be guilty of paternity fraud which should be a crime. She should then be forced to name the real biological father who can pick up paying child support! Maybe paternity tests should be required in hospitals before the babies go home.
The thing I can't get over is women fighting for their rights left and right and then turning around and refusing to acknowledge that men should have any rights in regards to parenting at all!!!!!! Some of them believe a man doesn't even necessarily deserve the right to know he is a father!!! Then they use the child as some type of scapegoat for the mess they themselves created. Well...what about the child?
What about the child? The child is probably all messed up! Imagine not knowing who your real father is! Or believing someone to be your real father and then finding out he's not! Why aren't we worried about the child's mental state in these situations? Why are we only worried about the money?
Kelzie said:Yeah, even worse. Imagine finding out that the man that raised you as his child for your entire life wants to disown you because of something your MOTHER did. Oh no wait. You think that's fine.
talloulou said:No I think the whole system is corrupt and perverse and I'd like to see it fixed and I can't believe other women don't.
Lets look at another example. Do you know in most states a man can be married for 8 yrs and then the couple can decide they are going to divorce. The man can sue for custody and the woman can turn around and say....nope I never told you but this kids not yours. And you know what? The courts agree with her! If the DNA shows the kids not his it's not his! However if the women wants him to be responsible she can fight that too and the court will agree that since they were married and he has been supporting the kid thus far then DNA doesn't matter and now the kid is his again!
Don't you see the hypocrisy and problems in this type of system?
Kelzie said:Yes and that's crap! But that doesn't change the fact that a "supposed" father disowning the child that loves him is also crap.
talloulou said:Yep and a mother who sets her kids up in this situation is crap. And it's real crappy for the guy who finds out he has a kid but the kid is like 15 or something and he missed out on everything 'cause some woman didn't feel like it was important that she tell him she gave birth to his child.
There is just no reason for all this craziness anymore. DNA testing makes it so we can figure out who a child's daddy is as soon as the child is born.
Kelzie said:And the only person who doesn't deserve to get crapped on in this whole situation is the child. That's why the law should protect them, not the mother or the father.
Kelzie said::roll: Yes that's exactly what I'm suggesting. Picking a random guy to pay child support.
The fact that you think it's okay for a dad to "not wish" to be some kids father after raising him/her for 15 years is very telling.
Hmm, I simply assumed that rapists are never allowed custody to the spawn of their crime. I guess the world is a little bit more ****ed up than I thought.star2589 said:the one good reason I could think of, is that she wouldnt want the rapist to have any custody of her kid.
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