Fathers rights & Child support reform?

[Heyrio]

Not sure how many parents we have on here but I'm curious about your opinions on our family law system.
Do you feel that our modern family parenting plan between Custodial and Non-Custodial parents is based solely on old statistics and cliché methods(e.g. Child lives with Mother, Father pays the bills)? How about the the possibility of child support reform? Is it fair that a father or even a mother be paid a compensation even when they still hold a major part in the time sharing of the child? If so many people are preaching for equality how do you think this will effect negatively/positively the child's best interest by parents always having 50/50?



Food for thought.

What if both parents must pay a monthly fixed child support payment into a closed bank account that the child may not access until the age of 18. Just an idea.

 

[tres borrachos]

I'm still married to the father of my children, but if we split up, and I got the kids, I would expect him to at least help out with their costs, which I know he would without an argument. That said, I think these sorts of things are always tipped in the mother's favor, and I'm not sure I know why - or agree with it.

I don't know if I like the idea of the escrow account for kids to access when they're 18. The money should go to the parent who needs the money for immediate needs, not for the kids to do God knows what with when they're 18. JMO.

 

[AGENT J]

Not sure how many parents we have on here but I'm curious about your opinions on our family law system.
Do you feel that our modern family parenting plan between Custodial and Non-Custodial parents is based solely on old statistics and cliché methods(e.g. Child lives with Mother, Father pays the bills)? How about the the possibility of child support reform? Is it fair that a father or even a mother be paid a compensation even when they still hold a major part in the time sharing of the child? If so many people are preaching for equality how do you think this will effect negatively/positively the child's best interest by parents always having 50/50?



Food for thought.

What if both parents must pay a monthly fixed child support payment into a closed bank account that the child may not access until the age of 18. Just an idea.

Ive had this discussion here and this in an area that need major reform.

Im a father and i actually have full sole custody. THat aside the laws in this area are crap. They arent equal in hardle anyway.

I dont want this to go into an abortion discussion but i think it should follow similar lines.

Fathers should be notified ASAP that they may be a father. about the same time frame will do just a little tighter so the mother has some extra time to think.
They should be notified not later than 20 weeks. If not child support is not an option from them unless of course they want to.

In that 20 weeks BOTH parents can decide what they want
stay together and keep the child
be separate and keep the child and set up custody with payments or joint etc.
mother can abort
mother can give birth and give up custody to father
both can decide to give up for adoption
mother has full sole custody, dad choose to not be involved
and all the other scenarios etc etc

Using the child as monthly check doesnt make one a mother nor does forcing a guy to make monthly payments turn him into a father.

A format like this would be the most equal. Currently its one of the most lopsided set of laws we have.
If the father gives up rights though those can not be reinstated unless the mother agrees or there is neglect

 

[DiAnna]

Not sure how many parents we have on here but I'm curious about your opinions on our family law system.
Do you feel that our modern family parenting plan between Custodial and Non-Custodial parents is based solely on old statistics and cliché methods(e.g. Child lives with Mother, Father pays the bills)? How about the the possibility of child support reform? Is it fair that a father or even a mother be paid a compensation even when they still hold a major part in the time sharing of the child? If so many people are preaching for equality how do you think this will effect negatively/positively the child's best interest by parents always having 50/50?



Food for thought.

What if both parents must pay a monthly fixed child support payment into a closed bank account that the child may not access until the age of 18. Just an idea.

If the parents have joint custody, with the child spending roughly the same amount of time annually in both homes, then child support is moot, in my opinion, since both parents are contributed equally to feeding, clothing, housing, medical care, educational costs, etc.

The parent who has primary custody should have child support from the non-custodial parent, and no, it should not go into a closed bank account. That money is required to support the child: Rent/Mortgage, Food, Clothing, Medical Care, Educational Costs, Insurance, Utilities, Telephone, all those services that gives the child a safe, healthy home and a safe, healthy environment. Forcing the child to live in an unheated hovel subsisting on minimal amounts of cheap food and used clothing so he/she will have a windfall to blow at the ripe old age of 18 is unhealthy for the child, and punitive to the custodial parent.

Children cost a LOT of money to raise.

 

[joko104]

Not sure how many parents we have on here but I'm curious about your opinions on our family law system.
Do you feel that our modern family parenting plan between Custodial and Non-Custodial parents is based solely on old statistics and cliché methods(e.g. Child lives with Mother, Father pays the bills)? How about the the possibility of child support reform? Is it fair that a father or even a mother be paid a compensation even when they still hold a major part in the time sharing of the child? If so many people are preaching for equality how do you think this will effect negatively/positively the child's best interest by parents always having 50/50?



Food for thought.

What if both parents must pay a monthly fixed child support payment into a closed bank account that the child may not access until the age of 18. Just an idea.

Child support is to pay for the child when a child, so no.

 

[Heyrio]

If the parents have joint custody, with the child spending roughly the same amount of time annually in both homes, then child support is moot, in my opinion, since both parents are contributed equally to feeding, clothing, housing, medical care, educational costs, etc.

The parent who has primary custody should have child support from the non-custodial parent, and no, it should not go into a closed bank account. That money is required to support the child: Rent/Mortgage, Food, Clothing, Medical Care, Educational Costs, Insurance, Utilities, Telephone, all those services that gives the child a safe, healthy home and a safe, healthy environment. Forcing the child to live in an unheated hovel subsisting on minimal amounts of cheap food and used clothing so he/she will have a windfall to blow at the ripe old age of 18 is unhealthy for the child, and punitive to the custodial parent.

Children cost a LOT of money to raise.

True, but in a time shared custody plan of 60/40 or even 70/30 do you not find it excessive that a parent has to pay the finances you listed and a good portion of there salary to the custodial? like you said children are expensive. Seems like the non-custodial gets the bad end of the deal, they get to see there child less and are forced with the majority of the financial burden.

 

[earthajperry]

If parents are keen to know are views than we should appreciate that.

 

[DiAnna]

True, but in a time shared custody plan of 60/40 or even 70/30 do you not find it excessive that a parent has to pay the finances you listed and a good portion of there salary to the custodial? like you said children are expensive. Seems like the non-custodial gets the bad end of the deal, they get to see there child less and are forced with the majority of the financial burden.

Then perhaps the child should eat less, have fewer clothes, do without 40% of needed medical care, use less heat, live in a smaller flat and receive 40% less education.

Children freaking need what they need. They need nourishment, clothing, shelter, education... that costs money. Child support is not a quid-pro-quo deal, buddy. Two people created a child, and two people need to finance that child's needs until adulthood. This pouty, "It's not fair to ME, waa-waa" that I hear from parents who have been ordered to pay to support the children that they helped create grates on my last nerve.

The custodial parent is the one dealing with the costs... emotional, physical, economical... to provide what that child needs on a daily basis. He or she is the primary guardian, primary one to deal with emergencies, primary in dealing with educational and behavioral issues, primary responsible party to make certain that child has everything needed to grow up healthy and emotionally sound. So if anyone thinks "It's not fair to ME, waa-waa" when faced with the responsibilities of being a parent, I say cry me a river... and next time use birth control instead of bringing a child into the world that may impact the wallet that is so very important to you.

 

[MaggieD]

Not sure how many parents we have on here but I'm curious about your opinions on our family law system.
Do you feel that our modern family parenting plan between Custodial and Non-Custodial parents is based solely on old statistics and cliché methods(e.g. Child lives with Mother, Father pays the bills)? How about the the possibility of child support reform? Is it fair that a father or even a mother be paid a compensation even when they still hold a major part in the time sharing of the child? If so many people are preaching for equality how do you think this will effect negatively/positively the child's best interest by parents always having 50/50?

Food for thought.

What if both parents must pay a monthly fixed child support payment into a closed bank account that the child may not access until the age of 18. Just an idea.

Well. That's fine if they don't need to eat 'til they're 18, isn't it?

Somehow, I think 50/50 child custody isn't a good idea. If two parents make it their business to put their children first and value their children's involvement with both parents, seems like it should be able to be worked out amicably without involvement of the courts other than setting a child support amount. Three days with dad and four days with mom would SUCK from my standpoint, that's for sure.

I think child support could use a good hard look to make sure we don't impoverish fathers in our attempt to be fair to the children.

 

[MaggieD]

Ive had this discussion here and this in an area that need major reform.

Im a father and i actually have full sole custody. THat aside the laws in this area are crap. They arent equal in hardle anyway.

I dont want this to go into an abortion discussion but i think it should follow similar lines.

Fathers should be notified ASAP that they may be a father. about the same time frame will do just a little tighter so the mother has some extra time to think.
They should be notified not later than 20 weeks. If not child support is not an option from them unless of course they want to.

In that 20 weeks BOTH parents can decide what they want
stay together and keep the child
be separate and keep the child and set up custody with payments or joint etc.
mother can abort
mother can give birth and give up custody to father
both can decide to give up for adoption
mother has full sole custody, dad choose to not be involved
and all the other scenarios etc etc

Using the child as monthly check doesnt make one a mother nor does forcing a guy to make monthly payments turn him into a father.

A format like this would be the most equal. Currently its one of the most lopsided set of laws we have.
If the father gives up rights though those can not be reinstated unless the mother agrees or there is neglect

Your idea is never ever going to happen.

 

[AGENT J]

Your idea is never ever going to happen.

LOL
I know that

at least it will never happen in our lifetime or probably even my daughters but it should,
It helps drive home the reality of the situation, drives a solution and it the most equal and sound for ALL parties involved.

 

[MaggieD]

LOL
I know that

at least it will never happen in our lifetime or probably even my daughters but it should,
It helps drive home the reality of the situation, drives a solution and it the most equal and sound for ALL parties involved.

No, it's not. It's sound for every man who decides he doesn't want to support the child he made. It is most certainly not in the best interests of the child.

 

[Henrin]

LOL
I know that

at least it will never happen in our lifetime or probably even my daughters but it should,
It helps drive home the reality of the situation, drives a solution and it the most equal and sound for ALL parties involved.

The system only works when men have no choice but to support the child they never consented to have. If a choice is available for the man then the entire system would be left broken.

 

[AGENT J]

No, it's not. It's sound for every man who decides he doesn't want to support the child he made. It is most certainly not in the best interests of the child.

no its sound for EVERYONE.
Who loses out? Its a win for all
What scenerio can be invented that an opposite scenario cant also be invented to counter?

theres two sides to every coin and this makes people face reality more.

also its GREAT for the child!

A person who honestly doesnt want to be a parent will never be one.

making a mom or dad pay money doenst make them a parent by any means.
Working with kids and in the school districts i see the results of mother or fathers that are simply around because of a check or court papers etc. In reality they arent doing the kid any good.
Kids are better off with people that actual WANT to care for them whether its other family members, one biological parent or adoption etc.

 

[radcen]

Not sure how many parents we have on here but I'm curious about your opinions on our family law system.
Do you feel that our modern family parenting plan between Custodial and Non-Custodial parents is based solely on old statistics and cliché methods(e.g. Child lives with Mother, Father pays the bills)? How about the the possibility of child support reform? Is it fair that a father or even a mother be paid a compensation even when they still hold a major part in the time sharing of the child? If so many people are preaching for equality how do you think this will effect negatively/positively the child's best interest by parents always having 50/50?

Food for thought.

What if both parents must pay a monthly fixed child support payment into a closed bank account that the child may not access until the age of 18. Just an idea.

The CS system needs serious repair, but... CS is to raise the kid right now, not set them up as adults.

 

[MaggieD]

no its sound for EVERYONE.
Who loses out? Its a win for all
What scenerio can be invented that an opposite scenario cant also be invented to counter?

theres two sides to every coin and this makes people face reality more.

also its GREAT for the child!

A person who honestly doesnt want to be a parent will never be one.

making a mom or dad pay money doenst make them a parent by any means.
Working with kids and in the school districts i see the results of mother or fathers that are simply around because of a check or court papers etc. In reality they arent doing the kid any good.
Kids are better off with people that actual WANT to care for them whether its other family members, one biological parent or adoption etc.

How is it a win for a child to be raised in poverty?
How is a win for a mother to have to work three jobs to make ends meet?
How is it a win for society to abort children by the millions because we have decided not to hold people accountable?

You are unbelievable. I guess you're paying child support.

 

[AGENT J]

1.)How is it a win for a child to be raised in poverty?
2.) How is a win for a mother to have to work three jobs to make ends meet?
3.) How is it a win for society to abort children by the millions because we have decided not to hold people accountable?
4.)You are unbelievable. I guess you're paying child support.

see you did exactly what i said you would, you simply created a situation that suited your needs without looking at reality facts and the flip side

1.) who said the child lives in poverty?
do all single parent households live in poverty? nope
do all moms/dads that are forced to pay have money to stop this? nope
are their two parent and single parent households that are in poverty right now? yep
sorry your scenario isnt created by my suggestion and has nothing to do with it

2.) see #1.
theres two parent house holds that work 3 jobs now
theres single parent households that work multiple jobs now because the other parent doesnt make much or simply doesnt pay
Another scenario that simply isnt created by what i propose and has nothign to do with it.

3.) again simply your opinion and a scenario that has nothign to do with what i actually suggested.
People already abort right now and they have that right to thankfully. millions of people abort because they are driven by the morals and feel obligated to be responsible and abort. Their opinion of that is no more right or wrong than yours.

regardless it has nothing to do with what i proposed.

4.) and incorrect a fourth time, i actually have FULL and SOLE custody of my daughter as i have discussed many times. I dont receive any money either :shrug:
again nothing to do with my suggestion.

its a win win for all and every scenario you create already exists and will not be a symptom of my suggestion and the opposite scenario can be presented.
It fixes a broken system that leaves kids with the short end of the stick too much. To often a kid is just left alone simply because a parent or two is around but that means very very littler about that childs actual welfare in fact "sometimes" its worse.

 

[MaggieD]

see you did exactly what i said you would, you simply created a situation that suited your needs without looking at reality facts and the flip side

1.) who said the child lives in poverty?
do all single parent households live in poverty? nope
do all moms/dads that are forced to pay have money to stop this? nope
are their two parent and single parent households that are in poverty right now? yep
sorry your scenario isnt created by my suggestion and has nothing to do with it

2.) see #1.
theres two parent house holds that work 3 jobs now
theres single parent households that work multiple jobs now because the other parent doesnt make much or simply doesnt pay
Another scenario that simply isnt created by what i propose and has nothign to do with it.

3.) again simply your opinion and a scenario that has nothign to do with what i actually suggested.
People already abort right now and they have that right to thankfully. millions of people abort because they are driven by the morals and feel obligated to be responsible and abort. Their opinion of that is no more right or wrong than yours.

regardless it has nothing to do with what i proposed.

4.) and incorrect a fourth time, i actually have FULL and SOLE custody of my daughter as i have discussed many times. I dont receive any money either :shrug:
again nothing to do with my suggestion.

its a win win for all and every scenario you create already exists and will not be a symptom of my suggestion and the opposite scenario can be presented.
It fixes a broken system that leaves kids with the short end of the stick too much. To often a kid is just left alone simply because a parent or two is around but that means very very littler about that childs actual welfare in fact "sometimes" its worse.

Okay, you win. You've got the solution. Be proud!

 

[AGENT J]

Okay, you win. You've got the solution. Be proud!

lol
its not about winning i was just saying what you accused my suggestion of doing was false.

also its only PART of a solution thats the issue with the whole thing, its rarely addressed as a whole.

from birth control, to abortion, to custody and child support laws, to health and sex education, to adoption/foster care to social services (child and parent: medical, educational and fiscal support) the system has all these band-aids on it instead of a big picture solutions


for solid, real fixes or help they need to be looked at as ONE not separate.

this is why the child support thing is such a failure, all it actually does is save the government some money, SOMETIMES it really does nothing in general.