The Canadian Government announced today that they are searching for a new benchmark country Canadians can compare to now that the situation in the U.S. has reached ‘this is fine’ meme levels.
‘We always liked comparing ourselves to America because of how good it makes us look,” said PM Justin Trudeau. “But now it kind of feels like an ok marathon runner comparing his time to a centipede that recently suffered a grievous injury. It’s just not fair.”
“What’s Ireland up to these days anyway?”
The decision to abandon the constant U.S. comparisons has been considered ever since Trump’s election. But after Canadian officials watched America’s incompetent response to the pandemic, the rise of QANON and that Alex Jones video where he screams at lifegaurds, the decision was made.
“They don’t even have the best basketball team anymore,” said one civil servant.
The selection process for our new comparison country could take months. Naturally Canada can’t select a country doing better than us since that would crush our fragile egos, so that rules out most of Europe and Asia. Britain is a strong contender given the Boris/Brexit thing, and some in the government are feeling “real good” about Brazil’s prospects.
“Personally my money is on South Africa. It has that history of colonization and racism that Canadians know well,” said another official.
The U.S. is unaware of Canada’s choice, as it is too busy comparing itself to the mythical version of America its textbooks tell them once existed.
Since work began on the 3,400 mile, 4 ft border hedge, Canada has been secretly searching for a new country to compare itself to since America is too sad.
Canada searches for new country to compare ourselves to now that U.S. is too sad - The Beaverton
Whoosh! :lol:Why does Canada have such a problem with self-esteem? Just be yourself, Canada. Quit comparing yourself to others. You're fine as you are.
You'd probably like it even more if you could identify it for what it is.:lol:I like satire ...
"... Naturally Canada can’t select a country doing better than us since that would crush our fragile egos, so that rules out most of Europe and Asia. Britain is a strong contender given the Boris/Brexit thing, and some in the government are feeling “real good” about Brazil’s prospects. ..."
... and that piece is the best part of it.
:lol:
Triggered?:mrgreen:More satire that's also mostly true: “Yeah, sorry, not happening,” said 37-year-old Harrisburg, PA resident Daniel Cooke, echoing the thoughts of millions of Americans who told reporters they will continue happily ignoring any and all stories about the Canadian government, the politics of Canada, or scandals involving Canadian politicians.
Nation Not About To Start Giving A **** About Canadian Politics
You'd probably like it even more if you could identify it for what it is.:lol:
I like satire ...
"... Naturally Canada can’t select a country doing better than us since that would crush our fragile egos, so that rules out most of Europe and Asia. Britain is a strong contender given the Boris/Brexit thing, and some in the government are feeling “real good” about Brazil’s prospects. ..."
... and that piece is the best part of it.
:lol:
More satire that's also mostly true: “Yeah, sorry, not happening,” said 37-year-old Harrisburg, PA resident Daniel Cooke, echoing the thoughts of millions of Americans who told reporters they will continue happily ignoring any and all stories about the Canadian government, the politics of Canada, or scandals involving Canadian politicians.
Nation Not About To Start Giving A **** About Canadian Politics
You've been comparing?Since work began on the 3,400 mile, 4 ft border hedge, Canada has been secretly searching for a new country to compare itself to since America is too sad.
Canada searches for new country to compare ourselves to now that U.S. is too sad - The Beaverton
Since work began on the 3,400 mile, 4 ft border hedge, Canada has been secretly searching for a new country to compare itself to since America is too sad.
Canada searches for new country to compare ourselves to now that U.S. is too sad - The Beaverton
You've been comparing?
Since work began on the 3,400 mile, 4 ft border hedge, Canada has been secretly searching for a new country to compare itself to since America is too sad.
Canada searches for new country to compare ourselves to now that U.S. is too sad - The Beaverton
Yes. We Canadians enjoy good satire. We never lost the ability to laugh at ourselves. perhaps some day Americans will regain theirs.
Canada is a country:
<edit>
Gotta luv the onion. Why should americans care any more than Canadians about our bull**** petty political scandals?
We are investing billions of dollars in Louisiana - hoping to revive the French tongue there. Other plans are under way as well but they cannot be disclosed. I do know this. One day, not today, but one day Americans will be really polite.should create its' own political board
and corral allto their own!
Moi
How many in Yukon really need Francais?
We are investing billions of dollars in Louisiana - hoping to revive the French tongue there. Other plans are under way as well but they cannot be disclosed. I do know this. One day, not today, but one day Americans will be really polite.
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?