- Joined
- Jan 10, 2009
- Messages
- 42,744
- Reaction score
- 22,569
- Location
- Bonners Ferry ID USA
- Gender
- Male
- Political Leaning
- Independent
Not long ago, The New York Times ran an article about an interesting trend at schools. The upshot: Some educators think having a best friend isn't so good for our children, and they're actively discouraging it by, say, breaking up best-friend pairs with class assignments.
I wouldnt really take it that seriously. This site looks like a stay-at-home-mom who taught herself Javascript, it's one step up from a blog and not exactly reputable.
I've never heard of this idea before and I dont really see much basis for it. The article doesnt really explain in any great detail why having a "best friend" is so bad.
“I think it is kids’ preference to pair up and have that one best friend. As adults — teachers and counselors — we try to encourage them not to do that,” said Christine Laycob, director of counseling at Mary Institute and St. Louis Country Day School in St. Louis. “We try to talk to kids and work with them to get them to have big groups of friends and not be so possessive about friends.”
“Parents sometimes say Johnny needs that one special friend,” she continued. “We say he doesn’t need a best friend.”
Are 'Best Friends' Dangerous?
What the hell is this world coming to? Best friends are bad now? How the hell do they expect children to learn about the negative effects of the world by shielding them against every GD little thing possible?
Man I'm so pissed at this that I can't even think straight atm.
I cant access the article.
The title of the article is a red herring, as usual.
No one is saying that best friends are dangerous, but only working with your best friend in an environment that is supposed to support a diverse range of people interactions is only going to limit your child. Sticking to friends when doing projects feels safe but I can see the wisdom of forcing kids to mix it up.
Adults do it too. In my medical program that had a class of 20, there was one woman who would always pair up with her friend in class when doing the practicum part of our learning, such as applying needling or massage techniques. When it came time for her to enter clinic and deal with a wide range of patients, she was completely lost because the only body she knew how to work on was that of her best friend. Our teachers even warned her to stop doing it but she wouldn't listen.
In the adult world, if you are only able to work with people that you like and feel safe with, then you are going to stay at the bottom of the rung. This is true if you're working for someone else, or if you have your own business. Letting children always stick with their friends in school projects doesn't encourage them to deal with differences or take educated risks.
The title of the article is a red herring, as usual.
No one is saying that best friends are dangerous, but only working with your best friend in an environment that is supposed to support a diverse range of people interactions is only going to limit your child. Sticking to friends when doing projects feels safe but I can see the wisdom of forcing kids to mix it up.
Adults do it too. In my medical program that had a class of 20, there was one woman who would always pair up with her friend in class when doing the practicum part of our learning, such as applying needling or massage techniques. When it came time for her to enter clinic and deal with a wide range of patients, she was completely lost because the only body she knew how to work on was that of her best friend. Our teachers even warned her to stop doing it but she wouldn't listen.
In the adult world, if you are only able to work with people that you like and feel safe with, then you are going to stay at the bottom of the rung. This is true if you're working for someone else, or if you have your own business. Letting children always stick with their friends in school projects doesn't encourage them to deal with differences or take educated risks.
I dunno, the NYT article made it pretty clear that it was talking about the existence of best friends in general.
I think I'll be having a talk with my kids teachers....they attempt to do this crap to my kids and I'll raise hell.
Well that's just stupid.
Maybe the scientist had no friends growing up, and he has a vendetta for people who best friends.
You know what they say: If it ain't broke, keep fixing it until it is.You know why our country is slowing going down the crapper? It's because people that are in positions of power (whether that is congressmen or school districts) try and fix what ISN'T broken and choose to ignore the issues that are important by doing nothing.
I am so sick and tired of people making anything that could have disappointing results, obsolete. We are raising a generation of children that have never had to deal with any sort of negative news, results or consequences. We will be very sorry when these children grow into adults and when they get into the real world and have to suddenly deal with anything negative in their lives.. they are not going to know how to handle it and all hell will break loose. Talk about raising a bunch of dysfunctional children/families.
All thanks to a bunch of namby-pamby dumbasses that are trying to turn our citizenry into a bunch of sheltered weenies.
You are all my best friends...
You know why our country is slowing going down the crapper? It's because people that are in positions of power (whether that is congressmen or school districts) try and fix what ISN'T broken and choose to ignore the issues that are important by doing nothing.
I am so sick and tired of people making anything that could have disappointing results, obsolete. We are raising a generation of children that have never had to deal with any sort of negative news, results or consequences. We will be very sorry when these children grow into adults and when they get into the real world and have to suddenly deal with anything negative in their lives.. they are not going to know how to handle it and all hell will break loose. Talk about raising a bunch of dysfunctional children/families.
All thanks to a bunch of namby-pamby dumbasses that are trying to turn our citizenry into a bunch of sheltered weenies.
Are 'Best Friends' Dangerous?
What the hell is this world coming to? Best friends are bad now? How the hell do they expect children to learn about the negative effects of the world by shielding them against every GD little thing possible?
Man I'm so pissed at this that I can't even think straight atm.
Before going postal over this topic, a little research might be in order to understand the premise. I get it, and I support it as a "social experiment" as long as it is not sold as "Best Friends are Bad".
What is a Clique?
Cliques are small, exclusive groups that have rigid guidelines, like being thin, playing on the varsity team, or dressing a certain way. They usually begin forming in around 3rd or 4th grade, and usually are at their worst between 6th and 8th grade, according to psychologist Michael Thompson in his book, Mom, They're Teasing Me: Helping Your Child Solve Social Problems [Ballantine Books, 2002].
Kids gravitate to cliques – or are devastated by being excluded from them – because of their natural desire to fit in and be part of a group. Typically a clique is controlled by a leader who decides who is "in" and who is "out," and this leader dictates the everyday details of how the members of the clique live their lives – what brands of clothing or shoes they wear, what music to listen to, how they talk, where they hang out, or how they wear their hair. There's a great deal of pressure to follow these "rules," and kids in the clique are usually expected to do everything together, and not associate with kids who are outside the clique.
Read more at Suite101: What are Cliques, and How Do They Affect Kids?: Learn How Parents Can Protect Kids From a Cliques' Harmful Effects What are Cliques, and How Do They Affect Kids?: Learn How Parents Can Protect Kids From a Cliques' Harmful Effects
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?