Your Master Has Arrived

[jallman]

Kelzie,

You are truely someone who has what it takes to be my acolyte! Join me!

independent_thinker2002,

I read somewere that you corrected my typing errors. Well done good and faithful servant! Your Master does not always have time to proofread. Give up your fictitious independent thinking ways and be my acolyte! Proofread my post human!

TurtleDude,

Who the hell are you?

Aww shyte....now look what you guys have done...all the real debate is going to stop because its just too hard to pass up a chance to swat at this fly. Gotta hand it to the li'l tard though, he bounces back.

 

[Kelzie]

Kelzie,

You are truely someone who has what it takes to be my acolyte! Join me!

independent_thinker2002,

I read somewere that you corrected my typing errors. Well done good and faithful servant! Your Master does not always have time to proofread. Give up your fictitious independent thinking ways and be my acolyte! Proofread my post human!

TurtleDude,

Who the hell are you?

Thanks, but I already have my harem to keep track of. Guys just run amok if you don't keep your eye on them. You might wanna try Trajan though. He's kind of weak, he could do with some guidance.

 

[jallman]

Thanks, but I already have my harem to keep track of. Guys just run amok if you don't keep your eye on them. You might wanna try Trajan though. He's kind of weak, he could do with some guidance.

That was just cold...but hilarious. :rofl

 

[Kelzie]

That was just cold...but hilarious. :rofl

That's what I'm good at. :2wave: You should check out my TT of him on teach's thread. How's Alaska? It's 50 here. Gonna be 60 tomorrow.

 

[Ivan The Terrible]

"teacher",

Class in session.

Since jallman is apparently asleep at the wheel, I shall address Ivan the eee
directly. I feel no contempt for you. Rather, disappointment. You brought to DP a fresh idea, a clever schtick, a unique persona, only to blow it in record time. You could have parleyed this M.O. into a grand following with the accompanying detractors had you brought some substance with your attitude. We have plenty of robots marching lock step with the party line on this site. You could have created your own certain niche hear at DP, adding to the diversity of characters, which is what makes this site different, and better IMO, than others I've seen.
How great it would have been to see, Ivan the eee has entered the debate, then to watch you shred someone with facts, logic, and humor, all while playing your "master" role to the upmost, and then exit with Ivan the eee has left the debate. But nooooo, It's, Ivan the eee has entered the debate, I'm Ivan the eee and you are wrong because I'm Ivan the eee and you just have not realized that I'm Ivan the eee, Ivan the eee has left the debate. See the difference?
Ivan the eee, you have illustrated nicely that being truly annoying is the work of adults, not the hobby of a Oliphant intern wannabe. I'm sure cruising around Coconut Creek with your arm out the car window trying to make your bicep look bigger to impress the high school girls is good in your "big fish, little pond" world, but this is international league here junior. Your homework? Go find a thread you're passionate about. Research the facts on it. Find someone you disagree with, slam them hard with truth, facts, logic and humor using your M.O. Then report back to me. Like I said Ivan the eee, I'm pulling for you, really. I'm teacher, of the colossal brain. We won't even get into the whole "who's master" thing.

Class dismissed.

See how it's done? Now print this post out, tape it to the wall in your Moms kitchen between the Ivan the eee is this tall on this day's progress chart and the Ivan the eee's handprint fingerpaint Mother's day present stuck to the fridge with magnets. Read it often.

This is your addresss?!

I see that we my have to go a little deeper "teacher". I'll take your lead.

Ivan The Terrible, Your Master, has declared this class in session!

There is absolutly no chewing gum in my class or you will receive detention... of the Sacred Slience variety!

Lesson One: The correct spelling of Your Master's name.

I see you still have a problem with the word "terrible". It's rather simple just repeat after me... t-e-r-r-i-b-l-e. Terrible! Got it? No? Repeat! Not yet? Repeat! Terrible! One more time! t-e-r-r-i-b-l-e! Terrible! It's Ivan The Terrible you buffoon! Not Ivan the "eee" the "ooo" or the "ppp"! And if you keep making such a ridicules mistake not even your obviously and incredibly deformed skull will save your pathetic life from sweet deliverance by the Sacred Slience!

Lesson Two: Giving Your Master advice.

You are beyound audacity to suggest that I, The God Of War, report back to you a mer man! You lack the integrity to call me by name and expect me to listen to you?! Repent! Downcast your face in shame! For your request that I debate the way you would like has been denied! Fool! I am my own proof that I am correct. I declare so.... Myself! What are you going to do about it human? Defeat me in debate by useing your huge slopeing forehead? Challange me with silly classroom jokes? Chant your favorite cartoon character's song in the vain hope that you can annyoy me into submission? Do not raise your hands to answer those question idoit! They are retorical. If you dare speak while I am giving a lectuer the Sacred Slience will sever your vocal chords!

Ivan The Terrible, Your Master, has dismissed you!

Now...
Do not speak to me until you learn my name. It is simple common curtsey. Run along lad. Oh yes, you may now savor your chewing gum peasant! Free the women indeed.

 

[RightinNYC]

hahahahahaha yes omg im so pumped for this.

 

[jallman]

That's what I'm good at. :2wave: You should check out my TT of him on teach's thread. How's Alaska? It's 50 here. Gonna be 60 tomorrow.

Eh, its cold here and I have been a bit under the weather. Probably caught something from Ivan the eeee's mom. You know the beyotch is so butch I actually find myself attracted to her. Doesnt hurt that she has a mustache either. Besides, when she is bent over with her face in the pillow, you cant really tell a difference cuz her ass is hairy as any guy's.

When are you getting down to texas?

 

[@_girL........]

Eh, its cold here and I have been a bit under the weather. Probably caught something from Ivan the eeee's mom. You know the beyotch is so butch I actually find myself attracted to her. Doesnt hurt that she has a mustache either. Besides, when she is bent over with her face in the pillow, you cant really tell a difference cuz her ass is hairy as any guy's.

When are you getting down to texas?

Wow, did you get that description from looking at your own mother?

 

[RightinNYC]

sorry teach

 

[Kelzie]

Eh, its cold here and I have been a bit under the weather. Probably caught something from Ivan the eeee's mom. You know the beyotch is so butch I actually find myself attracted to her. Doesnt hurt that she has a mustache either. Besides, when she is bent over with her face in the pillow, you cant really tell a difference cuz her ass is hairy as any guy's.

When are you getting down to texas?

Yeah, I'm actually not anymore. My sister got all "Wahhh I wanna come home" on me, so for awhile she was moving back to Colorado. And now she's not anymore. I don't really know what's going on. Although I am flying down for spring break.

 

[jallman]

Well most people have the command over logic to think "Oh, it's cold all the time there, I'd be surrounded by eskimos, and it's dark for 6 months of the year, maybe I'll go live in a place made for human beings!":2wave:
Yeah, that was Ivan's dad you were speaking of, he's a post-op, his mom is actually quite ****able (and ****ed!)

Actually, in the summer it can reach upwards of 90 degrees here and there are no eskimos in Alaska as they are a Yukon tribe from Canada. Other than that, you are dead on. The only reason I stay here is because I make about 30% more than anywhere else in the country and in the summer, 24 hour daylight means 24 hour fishing

Oh god...so now I have screwed a post op...sorry Ivana, hope your dad is walking straight again. Ha, who am I kidding, your dad cant do anything straight.

 

[@_girL........]

sorry teach

So you put up a picture of yourself and mock Ivan? Is that your prom picture? Whats wrong with you?

 

[Thorgasm]

Kelzie,

You are truely someone who has what it takes to be my acolyte! Join me!

independent_thinker2002,

I read somewere that you corrected my typing errors. Well done good and faithful servant! Your Master does not always have time to proofread. Give up your fictitious independent thinking ways and be my acolyte! Proofread my post human!

TurtleDude,

Who the hell are you?

You couldn't even be the pimple on the a$$ of one of my acolytes. You would have to have a triple digit IQ. I don't need acolytes to tell me how great I am. I already know. Doesn't your community college have English classes?

 

[Thorgasm]

I already suggested calling him Ivan the Virgin. He obviously is mad because he was the only kid his priest wouldn't molest. I already told you I owned you.

 

[teacher]

"teacher",



This is your addresss?!

I see that we my have to go a little deeper "teacher". I'll take your lead.

Ivan The Terrible, Your Master, has declared this class in session!

There is absolutly no chewing gum in my class or you will receive detention... of the Sacred Slience variety!

Lesson One: The correct spelling of Your Master's name.

I see you still have a problem with the word "terrible". It's rather simple just repeat after me... t-e-r-r-i-b-l-e. Terrible! Got it? No? Repeat! Not yet? Repeat! Terrible! One more time! t-e-r-r-i-b-l-e! Terrible! It's Ivan The Terrible you buffoon! Not Ivan the "eee" the "ooo" or the "ppp"! And if you keep making such a ridicules mistake not even your obviously and incredibly deformed skull will save your pathetic life from sweet deliverance by the Sacred Slience!

Lesson Two: Giving Your Master advice.

You are beyound audacity to suggest that I, The God Of War, report back to you a mer man! You lack the integrity to call me by name and expect me to listen to you?! Repent! Downcast your face in shame! For your request that I debate the way you would like has been denied! Fool! I am my own proof that I am correct. I declare so.... Myself! What are you going to do about it human? Defeat me in debate by useing your huge slopeing forehead? Challange me with silly classroom jokes? Chant your favorite cartoon character's song in the vain hope that you can annyoy me into submission? Do not raise your hands to answer those question idoit! They are retorical. If you dare speak while I am giving a lectuer the Sacred Slience will sever your vocal chords!

Ivan The Terrible, Your Master, has dismissed you!

Now...
Do not speak to me until you learn my name. It is simple common curtsey. Run along lad. Oh yes, you may now savor your chewing gum peasant! Free the women indeed.

Well, you're back. That's good. Didn't bring much, but you're back. You still got attitude, and you typed lots of words, that's okay I guess. Now, back to class.

One of the most important things about bringing attitude is that you bring more than just attitude. I counciled you to find a thread you are passionate about, I guess at this point that you know something about it is asking too much. So try this, start a thread. Fuc*king cats, midgets, impressing chicks at the junction of Sample and University will work. Even if they are jailbait waiting for Mom to pick them up at the Library. Talk about what you know. Popping zits on a Friday night, how good you are at Karaoke with Andy Gibb playing while you dance in your roller skates and pink sequined shorts will do. Having an attitude is swell bro. But sooner of later you have to do more while your little sister @_girl....backs you up. For now, you are just Ivan the eee. Come on bro, it's in you. I think. Like I said, this is international, not Broward County teen chat. We all know you live on that big hill just East of Wiles Road where it meets Sample Road. Creepy, ain't it? I'm sure some hags would love to bed down in your tent. Glad you're back. Don't bother posting back at me until you get WAY better. jallman and Kelzie are way out of your league but maybe they will let you cut your teeth on them. Better yet, why don't you and your little sister @_girl.. just pass notes for us to see. If you are lucky we can steer you to sneaking a kiss from her. Then you can go to the next level. Writing Canuck poetry.

 

[aps]

Well, you're back. That's good. Didn't bring much, but you're back. You still got attitude, and you typed lots of words, that's okay I guess. Now, back to class.

Which words are often misspelled. It's hard to think of someone as a "master" when they can't even spell.

 

[Thorgasm]

Which words are often misspelled. It's hard to think of someone as a "master" when they can't even spell.

I owned him on that and he took a several week vacation, lol. And he didn't even take the time to learn how to spell. Or, even easier, learn how to use spell check.

 

[Ivan The Terrible]

Silly, silly "teacher",

I am so glad to see you... alive. It seems you have survived my last attack... barely. "teacher" I have nothing more to say to you. I have surpassed you, I have destroyed you. At your own silly classroom game.

Free the women indeed...

 

[teacher]

Silly, silly "teacher",

I am so glad to see you... alive. It seems you have survived my last attack... barely. "teacher" I have nothing more to say to you. I have surpassed you, I have destroyed you. At your own silly classroom game.

Free the women indeed...

Ack, I'm destroyed, by Ivan the eee, with some mighty powerful smack.

Anyway, on with class. I posted last with some smack. That means you now have to come back with something. You can't get your head caved in and then show up claiming victory. It's like the defense rejoicing after being scored on. It makes no sense. Like I said, I love the attitude, but you also have to back it up. And gotta admit, the sig list is a nice touch. Many enemies, only one termination.

It's good to be king.

 

[kal-el]

Hahaha, I've skimmed a couple posts, who the hell is this "Ivan" schnook? He sounds like he has some god complex, or something?

 

[cnredd]

Hahaha, I've skimmed a couple posts, who the hell is this "Ivan" schnook? He sounds like he has some god complex, or something?

Some guy(?) who came in with guns a blazin' but didn't have the maturity or chutzpah to back it up...

It was fun for about 20 seconds...:shrug:

 

[kal-el]

Some guy(?) who came in with guns a blazin' but didn't have the maturity or chutzpah to back it up...

It was fun for about 20 seconds...:shrug:

O, ok. I hope he comes back to adulate himself. O, wait, that girl buys his tangible bravado.:lol:

 

[Ivan The Terrible]

Gallon Rocks!

Well I apologize that I've called you away from your dungeons and dragons jackass!

What is this? You beg for Your Master's return and this is how you repay him?! By regurgitating that silly board game? And yet... You continue...

(including the fact that your mom is sucking me off RIGHT NOW and................done she's gonna need a shower after taking THAT shot!).

I tell you to arrest your masterbation and you continue to defy me. Is this your way of getting back at Your Master? Fantasizing about having sex with Your Master's mother and then ( reaching the upper echelons of my rage!) describing it on this thread as if it is something to be proud of! Gallon Rocks! You have degenerated into something far less than human. The term simpleton lacks the ability to fully calculate your extreme folly! Did you think this act would impress Your Master? Or even your stupid, little, friends? They shutter with fear at the mer mention of Your Master's name. You would do well to learn the same.

 

[Bustabush]

Wow you guys are really laying out the welcome mat! For a guy with under 70 post he sure is well known. Not only that but he has kick all of your asses. I'm sorry but it's just sad. :rofl

 

[MrFungus420]

Ack, I'm destroyed, by Ivan the eee, with some mighty powerful smack.

Anyway, on with class. I posted last with some smack. That means you now have to come back with something. You can't get your head caved in and then show up claiming victory.

Hey teacher, isn't that a French tactic (claiming victory in loss)?

HE'S FRENCH!!!!!!!!