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Your fav sayings, includes ones that you claim as your own

My favorite is from my Uncle Neal. A sailor...

"There is no such thing as bad weather, there is only bad clothing."
 
"The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards."

“I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go there.”

"A lot of people say that it's a lack of vocabulary that makes you swear. Rubbish. I know thousands of words but I still prefer 'f---.'"

Billy Connolly
 
"The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards."

“I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go there.” Billy Connolly
Not really, Glascow has come a long way since the ship building industry collapsed.
I know folks like to compare it to Detroit, but the fact is, Glascow hasn't turned into a friggen blight...Glascow has gone the gentrified route, and Detroit has gone the desolate ghetto route.
 
"It's a solution to a problem that doesn't exist"

Which is common for me to say at work after just about every directive from management.
 
Actually, I'll start with the one I hate the most:

"If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans".
 
"I have far more important matters to ignore"
For when I want to diss someone or something.
 
"You have the IQ of a small green soap-dish.". An insult.

"Stand on your head and look at it." A change of perspective is good when analysing something.

"I hate cats!". An eternal truth.

Cheers and be well.
Evilroddy.
 
"We are stardust, billion-year-old carbon" Joni
 
Character is what you do when nobody is watching.

You're supposed to have character, not be one.

Power Corrupts. Absolute power corrupts, absolutely.
 
I don't have to be faster than you; I just have to be faster than the bear chasing us.
 
I don't have to be faster than you; I just have to be faster than the bear chasing us.
I thought it was the other way around: I don't have to be faster than the bear; I only have to be faster than you.
 
You may have an opinion in the absence of fact not in conflict with it.

Mine
 
In any engineering project the first 50% will take 90% of the time. And the other 50% will take the other 90% of the time.

It's impossible to make a system foolproof because the fools are so ingenious.
 
A few from my misspent youth-

What, you thought you'd live forever???

The maximum effective range of an excuse is ZERO MF meters!!!

Head on a swivel or body in a bag.

Earned, not given.

I'm up, he sees me, I'm down.

Rub some dirt on it.

You can make something idiot resistant; you can't make it idiot proof because soon enough some idiot will come along and prove that.

So few earn the right to turn blue.

Ever since I got out-

Everyday a holiday and every meal a banquet
 
The Only True Currency In This Bankrupt World is What You Share With Someone Else When You're Uncool.

Lester Bangs
 
"I never realized how often ants burst into flames until I started looking at them with a magnifying glass"

------ Mark Twain.
 
Remember. Hope is a Good Thing, Maybe the Best of Things, and No Good Thing Ever Dies.

Andy DuFresne
 
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Dr. Maya Angelou
 
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
 
"The aggregate IQ of the team exceeds the IQ of any member of that team." - Mine.

"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups." - Not mine.
 
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