Your Child is Homosexual

[Stherngntlmn]

First, I don't think you truely know how you'd react to something like that until it happens. My reaction would probably something to the effect of:

First I'd ask him to go hang out with me for a night so we could have a serious indepth discussion on it. I'd ask him to explain to me why he believes that he's gay. I admit that I would do my best to rationalize to him that he was just going through a phase, and that he was probably just confused as most teenagers are usually just balls of confusion that pick rebellious stances on subjects against their parents to try to establish seperate identities and assert independance. If he convinced me that he truely was homosexual, I would state to him my religious views on the subject of homosexual activities, then tell him that I would be ashamed of that part of his life, but that he was still my son, and as long as he was respectful of his mother and I, and didn't flaunt his activities in front of the family, I would make no attempt to sever any ties with him. I would ask him to remember his upbringing and remember that even though he had a sexual preference for other men, that he didn't have to act like an incapable flaming sissy with a lisp. I'd also remind him that homosexual political agenda was a very small portion of global politics, and that there was no need to turn into a liberal commie just because he enjoyed the intimate company of men.

Lastly, I would tell him that I loved him, that he would always be my son, and that blood and family meant more than any character flaw or disagreement in life.


*of course I doubt my son would EVER even seriously look at that lifestyle as an option. A much deeper and more aggressive conversation would probably be him trying to tell me he wanted to be a liberal PETA/GreenPeace activist.

 

[Stherngntlmn]

Why would you be ashamed of that part of his life? And what if he wants to be a sissy?

I would be ashamed of that part of his life because it would not only be an embarassment to his name, but his family's name as well. I would consider it my own embarrassment as I obviously had raised him wrong at some point. Any actions a person commits which they personally consider wrong, they should be ashamed of... they shouldn't be proud of their sinful nature and wear it like a banner.

If he wanted to be a *****, footing, lisping, handbag carrying sissy, then I would lose all respect for him as a man. I wouldn't like him as a person, and I would continue to be his father, but probably wouldn't enjoy his company on a personal level. That would also be to me like he was being prideful of his sins, which would go against everything I raised him to be, and therefore be like spitting on my face, and the years I dedicated to raising him.

 

[JustineCredible]

I would be ashamed of that part of his life because it would not only be an embarassment to his name, but his family's name as well. I would consider it my own embarrassment as I obviously had raised him wrong at some point. Any actions a person commits which they personally consider wrong, they should be ashamed of... they shouldn't be proud of their sinful nature and wear it like a banner.

They shouldn't be proud of their nature? Sinful is subjective, but you admit it's his nature. Are you even all that sure of how you feel about it?

If he wanted to be a *****, footing, lisping, handbag carrying sissy, then I would lose all respect for him as a man. I wouldn't like him as a person, and I would continue to be his father, but probably wouldn't enjoy his company on a personal level. That would also be to me like he was being prideful of his sins, which would go against everything I raised him to be, and therefore be like spitting on my face, and the years I dedicated to raising him.

Talk about really out of touch stereotypes!


Would you be that upset if you found out your son was left handed or worse yet...a Democrat?

 

[JustineCredible]

Dammit, what's with all the hating on the lefties! MY RIGHT HAND IS ALMOST USELESS, I CAN'T HELP IT!

Honey, don't get so uptight...I'm the worst of all nightmares, I'm a leftie, a lesbian and a registered Democrat!
(Granted being a registered Democrat doesn't really hold a whole lot of water as my personal political idealism doesn't alway jive with the DNC)

I'm not "Hatin' on" anyone. I'm simply pointing out that just decades earlier lefties were still concidered spawn of the Devil. Nuns would beat children for using their left hands.
It's still not completely certain that handedness is genetic, but it is commonly assumed so. Just as homosexuality isn't a genetically proven, but is slowly but ever so surely becomming more and more commonly accepted that it may indeed have some genetic origins.

 

[Schweddy]

Honey, don't get so uptight...I'm the worst of all nightmares, I'm a leftie, a lesbian and a registered Democrat!

:afraid: :rofl

I think I just woke up everyone in the office and almost spewed my iced tea everywhere.

But, we love you anyway JC.

 

[JustineCredible]

:afraid: :rofl

I think I just woke up everyone in the office and almost spewed my iced tea everywhere.

But, we love you anyway JC.

:2funny: Thanks.... :3oops: Well at least I helped rid the office of those "just ate my lunch and now I need a nap" blues!

 

[Stherngntlmn]

You view it as wrong, but what if he thought it was right?

if he believed 2+2=4, that wouldn't make it true, and I wouldn't caudle his thoughts of it.

What if it has nothing to do with how you raised him, but instead with just who he is?

I have seperate thoughts entirely on this issue that shouldn't derail lilith's thread

And what if he felt that since that's who he is, he shouldn't be ashamed of it?

then I'd be ashamed that I raised him wrong.

 

[ShamMol]

Well, honestly, you think it is lifestyle? It is far more than that.

 

[Stherngntlmn]

They shouldn't be proud of their nature? Sinful is subjective, but you admit it's his nature. Are you even all that sure of how you feel about it?

Man has a sinful nature. That means that they are predisposed to be tempted by sin. No man is perfect. Temtation is the nature, not the act of sin. For instance, a split second attraction to someone of the same sex is not a sin, it's a temptation. The sin would be the homosexual act commited if the person didn't have the self-control or moral backbone to restrain themselves.

Talk about really out of touch stereotypes!

which is why I said that I'd tell him that he could be gay without acting that way. Believe it or not, I have several gay and lesbian friends which all know my views, but I am able to maintain my friendships with them because they are not flamboyant. I just would not want a friendship with someone who acted that way, just like I'm sure you probably have ignorant views about southern conservative rednecks, and probably wouldn't be attracted to one as a friend.

Would you be that upset if you found out your son was left handed or worse yet...a Democrat?

probably more so with the democrat.....

 

[Stherngntlmn]

Well, honestly, you think it is lifestyle? It is far more than that.

enlighten me then

 

[JustineCredible]

if he believed 2+2=4, that wouldn't make it true, and I wouldn't caudle his thoughts of it.

But...but...but....2+2 DOES = 4!

Oh man, I think I just stepped into an episode of the Twilight Zone. :crazy3:

I have seperate thoughts entirely on this issue that shouldn't derail lilith's thread

But yet you did take it there.

then I'd be ashamed that I raised him wrong.

How would it be wrong to raise your son to be truthful and honest?

 

[Stherngntlmn]

Honey, don't get so uptight...I'm the worst of all nightmares, I'm a leftie, a lesbian and a registered Democrat!

Believe it or not, my 2nd best friend since kindergarten is a hardcore democrat, potsmoking, slackass, bull dyke, who's career goal is to be a videographer on a carnival cruise ship. We disagree about everything, but we're able to have rational conversations about it, and take lil offense about what each other says. Attitude, loyalty, and character is what creates friendships, not political affilliation and sexual orientation.

 

[Stherngntlmn]

Wouldn't you be proud of his courage and honesty though? I mean, it's obvious that coming out of the closet to you wouldn't be an easy thing to do. And, fyi, 2+2 IS 4.

my bad, typo, I meant to type 5

I would be happy that he felt comfortable enough to tell me, and proud that he felt we had a relationship where he felt comfortable doing so. That's it.

 

[Stherngntlmn]

How would it be wrong to raise your son to be truthful and honest?

Truth and honesty have nothing to do with homosexuality.

 

[JustineCredible]

Truth and honesty have nothing to do with homosexuality.

Says who?

Where are you getting this?

Honey, I'm truthfully a lesbian. I could not morraly raise my son to know the difference of write and wrong if I lived dishonestly.

As a parent, how can you feel good about raising your son to be dishonest? I just don't get that.

 

[Stherngntlmn]

unless he is a homosexual, and hid it, which would not be honest at all. You see, if homosexuality isn't a choice, which it really seems not to be, then you would be putting your son in an extremely awkward situation, giving the choice of either being honest, and disappointing you, or lying to you, and not disappointing you, yet never being able to be completely honest with you.

I believe that in most situations, it is entirely a choice, one which adolecents act on purely to rebel or to form a sense of individualism, not because they truely feel that way. I also believe that in rare cases, some are born with a biological predisposition towards homosexual attraction, however a predisposition doesn't in effect make a person who they are until a person makes a conscious choice to embrace it and act upon it.

 

[Stherngntlmn]

Says who?

Where are you getting this?

Honey, I'm truthfully a lesbian. I could not morraly raise my son to know the difference of write and wrong if I lived dishonestly.

As a parent, how can you feel good about raising your son to be dishonest? I just don't get that.

I will raise my son to have self-discipline and willpower enought to do his best to deny those temptations which are wrong, and to feel guilt over those times where he lacks the self-discipline to deny those temptations.

 

[JustineCredible]

I will raise my son to have self-discipline and willpower enought to do his best to deny those temptations which are wrong, and to feel guilt over those times where he lacks the self-discipline to deny those temptations.

What you call a temptation, I call being truthful and honest.
If it's so bad to be truthful and honest, I have nothing further to discuss with you.

My son is being raised by a parent who did not prolong her involvement in wicked ways. I stopped living a lie, stopped allowing stigma to tell me how to live.
I'm not hurting anyone, let alone myself by living in accordance with how I was created.
I am gay, can't deny it, won't try.
I was created this way, by God or genetics or happenstance, but it's part of who I am.
For me to live any other way is to live a lie, is to be dishonest. How dare I subject my son to such a life of misery and self-loathing?
How dare I teach my son that lying is acceptable in any form?

No, I will not raise my son to hate himself for being honest. I will never chastise my son for telling me the truth!

Temptation is when one is tempted to do something that would harm someone else. The temptation to steal, the temptation to lie, the temptation to physically harm someone...those are the dangers I have taught my son to avoid. But to live honestly within his nature, as long as it harms no one, this is what I have always taught my son, through my own example.

I'm not teaching him to be homosexual, since he is not. I have, though, taught him to be honest and live honestly.
To harm no one, least of all himself.

 

[Datamonkee]

unless he is a homosexual, and hid it, which would not be honest at all. You see, if homosexuality isn't a choice, which it really seems not to be, then you would be putting your son in an extremely awkward situation, giving the choice of either being honest, and disappointing you, or lying to you, and not disappointing you, yet never being able to be completely honest with you.

Why, pray tell, is it "dishonest" to not tell people who you sleep with? Since when is it ANYONE'S business? Parents or otherwise. Until I need to make the decision of a life long partner, my parents don't need to know who I date. It doesn't make me dishonest. It isn't their business! I get so tired of the gay community's intense desire to celebrate their coming out. It's not special. I don't care who you sleep with, and you don't need to know who I sleep (unless it's topic of a forum LOL ). There was a time when sex wasn't treated like a new car to show off to your friends and family. It was a private, intimate experience.

 

[ShamMol]

enlighten me then

Go to this thread and read up and decide for yourself.

Homosexuality-A Choice?

 

[Stherngntlmn]

If it's so bad to be truthful and honest, I have nothing further to discuss with you.

It's not bad to be honest, it's sinful to act on sinful temptation. I would never chastise anyone for telling me the truth. I would chastise them for the original wrongdoing they are telling me about. If my son came to me and told me he had wrecked and totaled my car, I would love his honesty, but that wouldn't stop me from chastising him about his wreckless driving and irresponsibility.

My son is being raised by a parent who did not prolong her involvement in wicked ways.

we'll have to agree to disagree here.

I stopped living a lie, stopped allowing stigma to tell me how to live.
I'm not hurting anyone, let alone myself by living in accordance with how I was created.

so if you're son was born with a predisposition to alcohol abuse and it didn't hurt anyone other than himself, you would be tolerant of his addiction and allow it to flourish, because if he denied the temptation to drink, that would be lying to himself, right?

I am gay, can't deny it, won't try.
I was created this way, by God or genetics or happenstance, but it's part of who I am.
For me to live any other way is to live a lie, is to be dishonest. How dare I subject my son to such a life of misery and self-loathing?
How dare I teach my son that lying is acceptable in any form?

that's fine. raise your son in any environment you like, and I'll do the sane. I guess you're "tolerance" ends at sexual awareness, as you seem to be offended at the idea of how I intend on raising my son in a conservative christian home.

No, I will not raise my son to hate himself for being honest. I will never chastise my son for telling me the truth!

neither would I. i would teach him to feel guilt about acting on what I consider to be immoral thoughts.... such as homosexual acts. Guilt is not self-loathing. Guilt is a necessary feeling to help a person determine wrong from right.

Temptation is when one is tempted to do something that would harm someone else. The temptation to steal, the temptation to lie, the temptation to physically harm someone...those are the dangers I have taught my son to avoid. But to live honestly within his nature, as long as it harms no one, this is what I have always taught my son, through my own example.

so as long as he's honest and doesn't hurt anyone else, he can lie in the street and be a heroine addict?

I'm not teaching him to be homosexual, since he is not. I have, though, taught him to be honest and live honestly.
To harm no one, least of all himself.

and to me... sinful acts are harmful to yourself, or your soul as the case may be. We have different world views and philosophical viewpoints. What to you seems like intolerance for unharmful self-realization, is to me protecting my son from a path unacceptable to God.

 

[Stherngntlmn]

Go to this thread and read up and decide for yourself.

Homosexuality-A Choice?

I don't have to.. I never met a person of any sexual orientation who by instinct alone, with no conscious thought or choice had sex with another individual. A subconscious predisposition of homosexual attraction may exist at birth in some individuals, but it's physically acting on those thoughts through conscious choices that makes a person homosexual.

 

[ShamMol]

I don't have to.. I never met a person of any sexual who by instinct alone, with no conscious thought or choice had sex with another individual. A subconscious predisposition of homosexual attraction may exist at birth in some individuals, but it's physically acting on those thoughts through conscious choices that makes a person homosexual.

Actually, my parents' pastor would disagree with you. It is not the act that makes you a homosexual, it is the act, according to him, that makes you sinful. You can be homosexual and still live a life of purity (look at augustine). Basically, it is ok to be gay according to my pastor, but that doesn't make the acts unsinful.

 

[Stherngntlmn]

Actually, my parents' pastor would disagree with you. It is not the act that makes you a homosexual, it is the act, according to him, that makes you sinful. You can be homosexual and still live a life of purity (look at augustine). Basically, it is ok to be gay according to my pastor, but that doesn't make the acts unsinful.

Well, you're pastor and mine would be in disagreement, but I was raised strict southern baptist, and you're from california... so no surprise there.

 

[JustineCredible]

Believe it or not, my 2nd best friend since kindergarten is a hardcore democrat, potsmoking, slackass, bull dyke, who's career goal is to be a videographer on a carnival cruise ship. We disagree about everything, but we're able to have rational conversations about it, and take lil offense about what each other says. Attitude, loyalty, and character is what creates friendships, not political affilliation and sexual orientation.

Does your "friend" know you call her a "bulldyke?"
Cause honestly I have never seen a bull wereing a tuttu. :rofl