You'd never see a drunk Ghost

You’d never see a Ghost drunk at a bar. Don’t you know that Ghosts hang out in dark places and creaky old buildings? They’d never hang out in the daylight, on beaches, at ice cream shops or any place with a video camera.

Little children, nuns, old men, deformed crazies and murdered beautiful women are always haunting us from the afterlife. Butchers, bakers, candle-stick makers and tired, middle-aged accountants with achy joints need not apply to the position of Ghost.

The Ghost in my house is always the same ethnicity as me. Why would the Chinese, Indian and African Ghosts who make up 50% of the world’s population be hanging out around me?

Ghosts are obsessed with moving your crap around the house. They make your house creak, break your plumbing fixtures and send chills up your spine. Apparently once you’ve died, you lose all interest in playing Xbox and watching porn, and instead find a new calling as official scapegoat.

Those that interact with Ghosts run around with electrical current detectors and charge you money for the experience. That’s because Ghosts are the supernatural equivalent of the printers at the U.S. Bureau of Engraving and Printing. My Ghostly ancestors make it rain, BOY!!!

Or … you know. Souls, ghosts, spirits, Purgatory and the afterlife are just superstition.

HAPPY (belated) HALLOWEEN!

 

[Viv]

You're spoiling "the fun"...

Ghost tv shows have everything on them but a ghost.

Another strange thing, several people who appear to be perfectly grounded in other ways have told me perfectly seriously that they have seen ghosts. It's almost as silly as religion.