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What advise do you have for married people/significant others?
Here's a recount to as one example of advise I have for husbands/male significant others.
The people involved were the principal of a church school and his wife who was a teacher at that church school. He was a highly judgment man, very negative and gossipy. She was an attractive women, serious minded but easy going. They had two children. We knew both of them.
One night he got home late, woke her up about some negative gossip he had about some woman at the church, leading to an argument over waking her up for this and she thought it was none of their business. A little bit later, he remembered he needed to get something out of his car. His keys were in the bedroom. Rather than risking waking her up, he decided to get her keys which had a key to his car out of her purse.
A few minutes later the bright overhead bedroom light goes on, him he holding incontrovertible proof from notes he found in her purse that she was having an affair with the assistant minister. She jumps out of bed shouting "you went into my purse?! What kind of sicko does that?!!!" Throws on a jacket, grabs her purse and keys and leaves. The next day she picks up the children at school and moves off to her mother's house.
Reading the notes more carefully, it was clear she and the asst. minister had a 1 night thing over a year before and called it off because neither wanted to wreck their marriages. He wanted to reconcile and go into counseling, but she filled for divorce and stuck to it, fixated on him going into her purse. In divorce court, the female judge focused on this too. Was he taking fingerprints and dna from her purse? Recorder on the telephone? Secret cameras in the house? She got custody.
The minister's wife of course learned, and her response to that woman was not "you slept with my husband?"! It was "he searched your purse? He really is sick!' The minister's marriage didn't break up.
ADVICES TO MARRIED MEN: NEVER go into your wife's purse, car, jewelry box, look at her cell phone for texts and call history, and in all other ways even inadvertently spy on her. If you accidentally learn a secret, forget that you learned it.
What advise do you have? I'd particularly like women's opinions.
Here's a recount to as one example of advise I have for husbands/male significant others.
The people involved were the principal of a church school and his wife who was a teacher at that church school. He was a highly judgment man, very negative and gossipy. She was an attractive women, serious minded but easy going. They had two children. We knew both of them.
One night he got home late, woke her up about some negative gossip he had about some woman at the church, leading to an argument over waking her up for this and she thought it was none of their business. A little bit later, he remembered he needed to get something out of his car. His keys were in the bedroom. Rather than risking waking her up, he decided to get her keys which had a key to his car out of her purse.
A few minutes later the bright overhead bedroom light goes on, him he holding incontrovertible proof from notes he found in her purse that she was having an affair with the assistant minister. She jumps out of bed shouting "you went into my purse?! What kind of sicko does that?!!!" Throws on a jacket, grabs her purse and keys and leaves. The next day she picks up the children at school and moves off to her mother's house.
Reading the notes more carefully, it was clear she and the asst. minister had a 1 night thing over a year before and called it off because neither wanted to wreck their marriages. He wanted to reconcile and go into counseling, but she filled for divorce and stuck to it, fixated on him going into her purse. In divorce court, the female judge focused on this too. Was he taking fingerprints and dna from her purse? Recorder on the telephone? Secret cameras in the house? She got custody.
The minister's wife of course learned, and her response to that woman was not "you slept with my husband?"! It was "he searched your purse? He really is sick!' The minister's marriage didn't break up.
ADVICES TO MARRIED MEN: NEVER go into your wife's purse, car, jewelry box, look at her cell phone for texts and call history, and in all other ways even inadvertently spy on her. If you accidentally learn a secret, forget that you learned it.
What advise do you have? I'd particularly like women's opinions.
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