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Would divorce rates be lower if people didn't accumulate assets during marriage?

Sounds like you have a good relationship with your partner. That's what anyone should strive for.

Thanks. A good healthy relationship was always our goal. While "stuff" is nice to have, I'd rather cultivate a good relationship than a house full of stuff.
 
Thanks. A good healthy relationship was always our goal. While "stuff" is nice to have, I'd rather cultivate a good relationship than a house full of stuff.

Hows that DVD collection coming along? :2razz:
 
Thanks. A good healthy relationship was always our goal. While "stuff" is nice to have, I'd rather cultivate a good relationship than a house full of stuff.

That's cool stuff is secondary after people believe it or not it's hard to find someone the feels that way.
 
That's cool stuff is secondary after people believe it or not it's hard to find someone the feels that way.

Exactly. Like I said earlier, I have stuff now, but it wasn't a race to collect stuff like houses, cars, ATVs, boats, jewelry, guns, etc etc etc. We have accumulated a normal amount of stuff over our 22 years, but if it meant staying with him, I'd give it all up now to be able to stay with him. I'd even give up my Caddy and go back to that old beat up Camry that we paid $500 for. :lol:
 
In the closet. Why? What does buying DVDs have to do with my having a healthy marriage? Do you not own movies?

Is twas just a joke on a house full of stuff because I saw a pic once of your DVD collection (unless I'm thinking of someone else). Truly awe inspiring. :2razz:

And believe me I'm not one to cast stones on collecting "stuff".
 
Exactly. Like I said earlier, I have stuff now, but it wasn't a race to collect stuff like houses, cars, ATVs, boats, jewelry, guns, etc etc etc. We have accumulated a normal amount of stuff over our 22 years, but if it meant staying with him, I'd give it all up now to be able to stay with him. I'd even give up my Caddy and go back to that old beat up Camry that we paid $500 for. :lol:

That's how my partner and I are. We are struggling right NIW but I did enguage him to finish his degree. He's ment to do what he's doing. It makes him happy.
 
That's how my partner and I are. We are struggling right NIW but I did enguage him to finish his degree. He's ment to do what he's doing. It makes him happy.

^ This. Money isn't everything. "Things" aren't everything. Peace and contentment and happiness are everything.
 
Good points. When you meet the person you want to marry, is supposed to be the two of you against the world not one against the other.

Well said.

thanks and I agree

sometimes people change and things go sour but that doesn't cancel out all of the wonderful times together, the shared moments and the support

sometimes you just have to move on
 
thanks and I agree

sometimes people change and things go sour but that doesn't cancel out all of the wonderful times together, the shared moments and the support

sometimes you just have to move on

Indeed. Breakups even divorce isn't as hard as dealing with someone dying.

I think what makes divorce and breakups hard for people is anger and normally you're angry in my experience at least because you are still in love and they aren't. It's hard to control that.
 
Indeed. Breakups even divorce isn't as hard as dealing with someone dying.
agreed

I think what makes divorce and breakups hard for people is anger and normally you're angry in my experience at least because you are still in love and they aren't. It's hard to control that.

anger yes,

anger is poison for our soul after a certain point
 
Is twas just a joke on a house full of stuff because I saw a pic once of your DVD collection (unless I'm thinking of someone else). Truly awe inspiring. :2razz:

And believe me I'm not one to cast stones on collecting "stuff".

I gave most of those DVDs away to the kids. Logistically, it was almost impossible storing that many DVDs, and trying to find them when we wanted to watch one. I put them all on a server and packed the ones I had left in a box in the closet named "College Textbooks," so no one will take them if they break in our house. :lol:

Besides the server, everything is digital now. I still collect movies, but that's something he and I do together, and I believe that's different from what the OP was whining about.
 
agreed



anger yes,

anger is poison for our soul after a certain point

Well I don't think that anger is necessarily poison for the soul it's an emotion that we have that's necessary to some degree I think it's very important to understand why you're angry when you are and that's a hard thing to do is specially one the emotion is overpowering.

So I guess what I'm saying with regard to anger is that like other emotions not all of them but certain ones it's important to have perspective on them.

Sometimes you need to seek the counsel of friends and family maybe even therapist to understand this. I've been there. But I don't think anger in and of itself is toxic. I do agree with you it can become toxic very quickly if not dealt with properly.
 
Two guys I work with are going through divorces where they are surely getting the short end of the stick. I have always been of the mindset that you can't completely trust anyone. I have been married for nearly two decades. One thing I have made it a point to do is NOT create a "divorce jackpot" in the event she ever left. Also, live in a state that doesn't award much if any alimony. This means rent your house instead of buy, keep your vehicles at least 70% financed. Spend money on experiences instead of "stuff". If you want your kids to have money for college, put the money in a CUSTODIAL 529 savings account where only the beneficiary can access the account at the age of 18. Furthermore, make cultivating a relationship with your children a priority. Don't put any more into a retirement account beyond what it takes the get the employer match. Even then, keep loans out against it. One of the guys I work with will have an ex-wife with plenty of financial security as she enjoys her new boyfriend thanks to "community property".

OOOORRRRRR you can just stay in your parent's basement and date Rosie or whatever... sounds like an excellent recipe to end up hoping social security will pay for your retirement...

'Better' plan, marry a hot money making woman, ride the sugar mama train and then divorce her after a decade or so and cash in.... :roll:

Oh and after 30 years of marriage I'll give my observations- pick right the first time and there will be no whine. Most divorced women don't leave for a man, they get pushed away by the husband. So remember to remember your wife from time to time and don't go dipping into something strange (more guys end up out because they went in the wrong hole, wanted to 'expand the relationship', did drugs, did the best friend, just did stupid man crap one too many times)

Personally I wouldn't leave my wallet around a female I trusted as much as you do your wife, much less close my eyes nightly beside her. I wouldn't want a woman who would be OK with never investing in a house, so weak a 401(k) and soooo little trust... :peace
 
Well I don't think that anger is necessarily poison for the soul it's an emotion that we have that's necessary to some degree I think it's very important to understand why you're angry when you are and that's a hard thing to do is specially one the emotion is overpowering.

So I guess what I'm saying with regard to anger is that like other emotions not all of them but certain ones it's important to have perspective on them.

Sometimes you need to seek the counsel of friends and family maybe even therapist to understand this. I've been there. But I don't think anger in and of itself is toxic. I do agree with you it can become toxic very quickly if not dealt with properly.

completely agree

one can not deny anger, one must move through it

but unless one moves through it, at a certain point it becomes toxic, and then a person is stuck

and stuck leads to bitter

and bitter leads to death of the soul
 
completely agree

one can not deny anger, one must move through it

but unless one moves through it, at a certain point it becomes toxic, and then a person is stuck

and stuck leads to bitter

and bitter leads to death of the soul

Yes anger of like many emotions can become toxic for detrimental without the appropriate ways of dealing with it. Fear, love, anger, rage, disgust, jealousy.

I think these are what creates toxicity in relationships when not acknowledged and dealt with.

They can all be healthy they all are part of the human equation. I think the worst one of all worst then anger rage jealousy worse than all of those is grief.

You do have to have a partner that understands you are an individual and your feelings are just as legitimate is anyone else's.
 
Take a good look at typical outcomes and your "sexism" charge doesn't hold water. In a situation where the husband makes 100K and the wife makes 50K, all assets get split down the middle. In most states, alimony, sometimes for life enters the picture. I see example after example where men lose 70 and even 80 percent of what they have. Pity the poor dude that still has minor children. What percent of disputed custody cases do you suppose goes to the woman? What percent of divorces do you supposes are initiated by women? What you call sexism, others call effective risk management.

You're wrong, and research proves it. Men become richer during divorce, not women.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/25/divorce-women-research

"The general belief that men get fleeced by their divorces while women get richer and live off the proceeds has long been due for exposure as a pernicious myth," said Ruth Smallacombe, a family consultant at Flip. "In reality, women often suffer economic hardship when they divorce. In addition, the resentment caused by unfair financial settlements has many knock-on effects, damaging ongoing relationships with former spouses and a woman's ability to move on with her life."

https://www.newstatesman.com/economics/2014/09/why-do-we-still-believe-divorce-leaves-men-worse-women

Again, evidence shows that you are perpetuating a myth. You may even have some anecdotal cases where the man made out worse. However, overall, men make out much better from divorce than women do, even if women get sole custody of the children.
 
Would divorce rates be lower if people didn't accumulate assets during marriage?

For spouse abusers, yes. That's really what the OP article is about. A woman with no chance at a life after divorce is less likely to leave than one with some hope of getting on her feet. The whole "college fund" thing is about threatening her with taking the children away. I joke about "Part 2 of the Seminar" (funny because it's true), and ten-to-one the average person reading the OP article and thinking "not bad" is wearing a wife-beater tshirt and considering joining a biker "club".

There are two types in this sort of a scam. Those who are duped, "maybe this could save my marriage" and those who lucidly push it. The bad actors know damn well this crap will piss-off an educated person, especially women. It's throwing violent injustice in peoples' face. In this way it's a troll for recruits and to anger the enemy.

Bait. "Men's Rights" style.
 
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For spouse abusers, yes. That's really what the OP article is about. A woman with no chance at a life after divorce is less likely to leave than one with some hope of getting on her feet. The whole "college fund" thing is about threatening her with taking the children away. I joke about "Part 2 of the Seminar" (funny because it's true), and ten-to-one the average person reading the OP article and thinking "not bad" is wearing a wife-beater tshirt and considering joining a biker "club".

There are two types in this sort of a scam. Those who are duped, "maybe this could save my marriage" and those who lucidly push it. The bad actors know damn well this crap will piss-off an educated person, especially women. It's throwing violent injustice in peoples' face. In this way it's a troll for recruits and to anger the enemy.

Bait. "Men's Rights" style.

PUshing the anger is the cause of the Toronto van attack. He was a men's right fanatic, and most of the victims were women.
 
Two guys I work with are going through divorces where they are surely getting the short end of the stick. I have always been of the mindset that you can't completely trust anyone. I have been married for nearly two decades. One thing I have made it a point to do is NOT create a "divorce jackpot" in the event she ever left. Also, live in a state that doesn't award much if any alimony. This means rent your house instead of buy, keep your vehicles at least 70% financed. Spend money on experiences instead of "stuff". If you want your kids to have money for college, put the money in a CUSTODIAL 529 savings account where only the beneficiary can access the account at the age of 18. Furthermore, make cultivating a relationship with your children a priority. Don't put any more into a retirement account beyond what it takes the get the employer match. Even then, keep loans out against it.

One of the guys I work with will have an ex-wife with plenty of financial security as she enjoys her new boyfriend thanks to "community property".
If American men were not limp-wristed and materialistic and embraced God instead of worshiping $, then divorce rates would be lower, and their wives would not seek out affairs with young men who resemble movie stars and pop idols.

This is why in Godly nations there is no divorce rate like in decadent nations where men are ungodly and cannot control their wives.
 
If American men were not limp-wristed and materialistic and embraced God instead of worshiping $, then divorce rates would be lower, and their wives would not seek out affairs with young men who resemble movie stars and pop idols.

This is why in Godly nations there is no divorce rate like in decadent nations where men are ungodly and cannot control their wives.

Now that RIGHT THERE is some Grade A bull crap.

IMG_1453.jpg


Boy, you think you're a brand new kind of firebrand we've never seen before.
Let me tell you something, you're just the same crap in a new package.
 
If American men were not limp-wristed and materialistic and embraced God instead of worshiping $, then divorce rates would be lower, and their wives would not seek out affairs with young men who resemble movie stars and pop idols.

This is why in Godly nations there is no divorce rate like in decadent nations where men are ungodly and cannot control their wives.

I'm unusual among right-wingers because I have several Muslim friends. One is going through a divorce because he caught his wife having an affair with a co-worker. Another asked me on how to get a bullet-proof divorce because his wife is an incessant complainer. I asked him how old his youngest child was. He replied eight years old. I told him that he had ten years remaining on his marriage incarceration. I reminded him that even if he thought that divorcing his wife was worth the financial sacrifice, that his daughter would hate him and blame him. Do you know what you call a man that initiates a divorce when any children are still minors? Answer: STUPID!
 
I'm unusual among right-wingers because I have several Muslim friends. One is going through a divorce because he caught his wife having an affair with a co-worker. Another asked me on how to get a bullet-proof divorce because his wife is an incessant complainer. I asked him how old his youngest child was. He replied eight years old. I told him that he had ten years remaining on his marriage incarceration. I reminded him that even if he thought that divorcing his wife was worth the financial sacrifice, that his daughter would hate him and blame him. Do you know what you call a man that initiates a divorce when any children are still minors? Answer: STUPID!
Divorce other than for the sin of infidelity is haram in Islam - it seems that pagan worship of $ instead of God leads to immorality.
 
Divorce other than for the sin of infidelity is haram in Islam - it seems that pagan worship of $ instead of God leads to immorality.

That's nice
 
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