Women are contributing to their engagement ring.

[Aunt Spiker]

So, that means it was a status symbol - and that part got confused with the real meaning of the ring. The basic concept has been in use for thousands of years.

 

[Slartibartfast]

While I tend to thinkmore traditionally about this subject, really if you think about it ... if the woman is contributing to the cost of the ring, than it means that the relationship has likely already defined itself and both people are probably comfortable in their roles. So more power to them. I personally would feel uncomfortable doing this, but hey, everyone is different and if it works, than it works.

 

[rathi]

I think if you're the kind of man who would allow a woman to pay for her own engagement ring, you're not the kind of man she should marry.

Nothing builds a strong marriage more than telling your fiance she isn't allowed to make her own financial decisions. A good man puts made up corporate traditions over the wishes of the person he claims to love.

 

[NoC_T]

I am with a guy, so i don't really get this.

You don't have to.

 

[NoC_T]

Nothing builds a strong marriage more than telling your fiance she isn't allowed to make her own financial decisions. A good man puts made up corporate traditions over the wishes of the person he claims to love.

You're so right, dude. That most special of moments should be stripped of any and all spiritual connotations, by reducing it to the level of a financial transaction. Call me old fashioned, but the gesture might just mean more than a political statement. Because it's not a solemn declaration of intent, no. It's about Feminist ideology.

You'd demand that your intended pay half? You're asking her to pay money for the privilege of being asked? lulz

You must have 'em crying in the aisles, brah. You incorrigible romantic, you. :lol:

 

[NoC_T]

I voted that I'm a man and that I don't care.

The traditional model for the acquisition, presentation and significance of an engagement ring is only meaningful to those whom hold to that tradition. If consenting adults wish to step outside that tradition, I could care less.

Of course, my views of marriage and relationships are less than traditional, too.

So you do care, after all.

 

[CLAX1911]

You don't have to.

one of the very few positives of being gay.

 

[Gipper]

If she wants a ring, I got it.

If she wants an expensive, gaudy ring...she can get it.

 

[phattonez]

That's what the diamond sellers told you. I remember the commercials. They told you that a good budget for an engagement ring was about 3 months worth of income.

Just because the commercials said it doesn't mean that it was ever true.

 

[TacticalEvilDan]

So you do care, after all.

How did you draw that conclusion from what I said?

 

[roguenuke]

Just because the commercials said it doesn't mean that it was ever true.

You'd be surprised how many military guys insisted on saving up that money to ensure they had that much to spend on a ring. I knew plenty of sailors and Marines who saved up anywhere from $3000 to $4500 or more to buy that ring, which would be just about 3 months pay of a junior enlisted sailor. They might not always spend all of that, but they still would have been willing to. And that would be right around the average cost of a diamond ring from a jewelry store.

Buying a Diamond Engagement Ring: What You Need to Know

"The average cost of a jewelry store diamond engagement ring is between $3,500 and $4,000."

 

[sangha]

IMO, the woman should pay all the costs

And it should be sized to fit around the husbands' neck, but not over his chin.

 

[Gipper]

You'd be surprised how many military guys insisted on saving up that money to ensure they had that much to spend on a ring. I knew plenty of sailors and Marines who saved up anywhere from $3000 to $4500 or more to buy that ring, which would be just about 3 months pay of a junior enlisted sailor. They might not always spend all of that, but they still would have been willing to. And that would be right around the average cost of a diamond ring from a jewelry store.

Buying a Diamond Engagement Ring: What You Need to Know

"The average cost of a jewelry store diamond engagement ring is between $3,500 and $4,000."

Military people don't have outstanding bills. For most people, if they used 3 months of gross salary, they'd be in deep crap. The average person would get screwed if they missed one paycheck. I think missing 13 of them would render them catatonic.

 

[What if...?]

Considering that the diamond engagement ring is the result of marketing in the early twentieth century, like Valentines Day, and not a real "tradition", the whole thing kind of annoys me.

I would think using that money towards a house down payment would be a more appropriate use for thousands of dollars than fomenting one-upwomanship among the fairer sex.

 

[roguenuke]

Military people don't have outstanding bills. For most people, if they used 3 months of gross salary, they'd be in deep crap. The average person would get screwed if they missed one paycheck. I think missing 13 of them would render them catatonic.

Except most people don't just use 2 or 4 months worth that come all at once. If they plan to spend this much, they save over a while. Or they buy it on credit.

But the initial campaign was in fact aimed at military. They knew military members had the money coming home from war.

 

[rathi]

You're so right, dude. That most special of moments should be stripped of any and all spiritual connotations, by reducing it to the level of a financial transaction.

There are no "spiritual connotations" about buying a diamond engagement ring, its purely a marketing campaign from De Beers in the 1930's.

Call me old fashioned, but the gesture might just mean more than a political statement. Because it's not a solemn declaration of intent, no. It's about Feminist ideology.

You only think you are old fashioned, your tradition is made up nonsense that is less than 100 years old. If you wanted an actual American tradition, you'd use a thimble to propose.

You'd demand that your intended pay half? You're asking her to pay money for the privilege of being asked? lulz

I'd never buy a diamond engagement ring in my life. I don't let corporations tell me how to treat the people I love, especially not one's as unethical as De Beers. On a side note, it hardly matters who pays considering that marriage joins your assets anyways, unless you screw it up before things become official.

 

[Gipper]

Except most people don't just use 2 or 4 months worth that come all at once. If they plan to spend this much, they save over a while. Or they buy it on credit.

But the initial campaign was in fact aimed at military. They knew military members had the money coming home from war.

Ah...makes more sense now. Now when I keep buying Cracker Jack until I hit the right toy, I can tell her that "the rule is just for the military, sorry 'bout ya luck, babe".

It's nice to know that I can justify my frugality. I win so rarely these days.

 

[Superfly]

Just because the commercials said it doesn't mean that it was ever true.

Duh. Never said it was true.

 

[roguenuke]

Ah...makes more sense now. Now when I keep buying Cracker Jack until I hit the right toy, I can tell her that "the rule is just for the military, sorry 'bout ya luck, babe".

It's nice to know that I can justify my frugality. I win so rarely these days.

LOL. Unfortunately, the "rule" has spread out from the military. And the average cost of a diamond ring nowdays is about the same as only 1 month's salary of a man in the US today. But it doesn't matter because most women don't expect it to be followed anyway. And those that do generally wouldn't be the best choice.

Rules of Engagement Rings: How to Save on the Bridal Bling - DailyFinance

Now, personally I wouldn't approve of my future husband getting my ring on credit just to try to please me. I would much prefer no ring to taking on debt for it. I appreciated my ring but my husband let me pick it out and he had the money for it in his account (in fact, since he had just got back from Iraq, he had way more saved than he needed).

 

[What if...?]

Diamond prices are kept artificially high, by consensus (conspiracy?) among the limited number of diamond miners/suppliers in the world. If they released all the diamonds available without restraint, the price of diamonds would drop dramatically.

So I refuse to pay ridiculous, hugely-inflated prices for what amounts to a shiny rock. I can find one of those in the creek-bed.

There's a publicly accessible diamond pipe in Arkansas(?).

The diamonds aren't generally big or of great quality, but how much more symbolic would it be to give a woman a ring with a stone you took out of the ground yourself?

 

[Superfly]

Part of the reason that men buy engagement rings on credit is because it's one of their first big purchases, so it helps them build up credit. It's why credit is so easy to get at jewelry stores - because they are used to being a place where people start to build their credit.

 

[Gipper]

LOL. Unfortunately, the "rule" has spread out from the military. And the average cost of a diamond ring nowdays is about the same as only 1 month's salary of a man in the US today. But it doesn't matter because most women don't expect it to be followed anyway. And those that do generally wouldn't be the best choice.

Rules of Engagement Rings: How to Save on the Bridal Bling - DailyFinance

Now, personally I wouldn't approve of my future husband getting my ring on credit just to try to please me. I would much prefer no ring to taking on debt for it. I appreciated my ring but my husband let me pick it out and he had the money for it in his account (in fact, since he had just got back from Iraq, he had way more saved than he needed).

Yeah, I just kick myself for not enlisting. After taking my ASVAB in high school, the Navy recruiter wouldn't leave me alone. I could blow my savings on chicks waiting for me at port.

 

[Goshin]

There's a publicly accessible diamond pipe in Arkansas(?).

The diamonds aren't generally big or of great quality, but how much more symbolic would it be to give a woman a ring with a stone you took out of the ground yourself?

You're right, here's the link:

Diamond Mines - Crater of Diamonds State Park

And unlike other diamond-bearing sites, our park policy is "finders, keepers." Any diamonds, semi-precious stones, rocks, or minerals you unearth are yours to keep, regardless of their value.

 

[sawyerloggingon]

I got lucky, my wife to be had inherited an engagement ring from her grand mother that she couldn't wait to slip on. WHEW! :lol:

 

[Aunt Spiker]

You're right, here's the link:

Diamond Mines - Crater of Diamonds State Park

We went there over the summer - hard work, but fun. Of course *we* didn't find any diamonds while there but someone else did that same day. They're mostly small and imperfect - but some are big and lustrous.

Cool stuff.