WI Cripplers Guide to the modern woman

[WI Crippler]

This is a thread where men can come and discuss the issues about some of the things that are confusing about the women we love ( or just want to get in bed ). Some old salts on the site might not have a clue what is going on here, but suffice to say women like June Cleaver no longer exists so the tactics used in dealing with your significant other need to be updated to deal with the modern woman. Let's have some fun.


Ok guys, a few rules when it comes to the dating of modern women.

1. First impression is the lasting impression. You got to look good, smell good, speak well, and seem interested in what they have to say. It doesn't matter if you really care or not, you need to do is what women have been doing for years, fake it.
2. If you have the slightest crumb of food on your face, you might as well eat out of the dish like a dog. You will be considered a sloppy eater for the rest of the time you are with her.
3.Even if you think you have pulled off a great first impression, there is still going to be something about you she is going to want to change. She won't tell you until after a few years of dating you, but it is coming I guarentee it. You are never the perfect man. At the very best you are a good man, whom she can work on throughout the marriage.
4.The first time you sleep with her, you have got to lay the thunder down. If you do this then you will be able to get away with small insignificant things for a few years. As long as you are laying pipe good, she's willing to forgive cetain things( only early on though ).
5.Be a gentleman. Open doors, let her use your jacket, pay for the entire date. It will go a long way in getting you to point number 4. If she has issues with this then you are a man who is nothing but scum because of your backwards thinking. Get out.

Now for a few marriage tips....
1. Wedding day
Although you may refer to it as "our wedding day", it is actually her wedding day. You just "get" to be there. I have heard women talk about "their wedding" in reference to themselves. Guys there is nothing about this day that is remotley yours. Even getting tanked at the reception is not allowed. Even though you have slept with her for 2 years before you got married, somehow its special that she has sex on her wedding night.
2. Living together
This usually happens before marriage nowadays, and I think its a good thing. You can find out some nasty habits before you get hitched, so you either have time to adapt, or get out.
Now, I recommend keeping a low level of managable hair because you are not going to have free reign of the bathroom anymore. Her personal maintenance time is more important than yours. I think this is the problem why Hollywood marriages don't last. The meterosexual men in hollywood probably get mad when they don't have enough time to redo their frosted tips.
Laundry-don't assume that women know how to work a washer or dryer these days. I recommend you check the lint trap in the dryer, since women do not seem to realize it exists. Also, if you have a shirt, pair of pants, or pair of comfortable underware that she doesn't like, expect it to disappear.
Dishes-you have got a pair of hands the same as her, and since most people are using dishwashers now, it is your responsibility since it involves electronics.
Lawn Mowing/Snow Shoveling ( where applicable )- You kidding me, this is a mans job. We have always done it, and will continue to live up to the stereotype. Piece of advice- You are not allowed to stereotype her into doing dishes or laundry. Those are shared burdens. Lawn mowing, snow shoveling are not.
3. Honesty in your relationship
This is the most confusing area for men.
Ok, to start off everything you say will be held against you if possible. If you are going to lie to your woman, you better be ready to live that lie. All it is going to take is one slip up, and you are done.
You have to be open and honest about your feelings with her, but she does not have to return the favor. You are required to figure out exactly what is wrong, and if you cannot you are insensitive. My advice if you don't know what you did wrong?? Ignore her, and watch some sports show. Then she will see that your attention is elsewhere, and out it will come. If you can withstand the verbal assault, you will learn what you did wrong.
Silence is bad, the less she says the more trouble you are in. Don't try to make jokes, it only makes the situation worse.
And lastly do not expect honesty in return. When you meet a woman, they usually are wearing make up, bras, and other things to create an image that is inconsistent with how they really look. Their entire seduction of you is based on a lie.


Oh, and if I never return its because my wife found this thread

 

[Jerry]

Ok guys, a few rules when it comes to the dating of modern women.

1. Since I'm married, don't date anyone other than my wife.
That's it for this list, moving on.....

Now for a few marriage tips....
1. Wedding day
Although you may refer to it as "our wedding day", it is actually her wedding day. You just "get" to be there. I have heard women talk about "their wedding" in reference to themselves. Guys there is nothing about this day that is remotley yours. Even getting tanked at the reception is not allowed. Even though you have slept with her for 2 years before you got married, somehow its special that she has sex on her wedding night.

Ditto for anniversaries, Valentines day, Christmas, etc.
These holidays are not are not community property, they are additional birthdays for her.

Only in the past couple years has my wife learned that she only has one birthday every year, and this is because I started treating her the way she treated me. Today I think I’m finally up to being equal with her.

2. Living together
This usually happens before marriage nowadays, and I think its a good thing. You can find out some nasty habits before you get hitched, so you either have time to adapt, or get out.
Now, I recommend keeping a low level of managable hair because you are not going to have free reign of the bathroom anymore. Her personal maintenance time is more important than yours. I think this is the problem why Hollywood marriages don't last. The meterosexual men in hollywood probably get mad when they don't have enough time to redo their frosted tips.

Eh, the problem in my house is keeping the kids out of everything in the bathroom. Since I'm up and gone 4 hours before everyone ells wakes up, who's using the bathroom and for how long isn't really an issue.

Laundry-don't assume that women know how to work a washer or dryer these days. I recommend you check the lint trap in the dryer, since women do not seem to realize it exists. Also, if you have a shirt, pair of pants, or pair of comfortable underware that she doesn't like, expect it to disappear.

My wife and I share the laundry, but if anything of mine disappears it's because she's wearing it (except underwear).

Dishes-you have got a pair of hands the same as her, and since most people are using dishwashers now, it is your responsibility since it involves electronics.

I am the dishwasher, and the only thing electronic about it is the MP3 player on my head.

Lawn Mowing/Snow Shoveling ( where applicable )- You kidding me, this is a mans job. We have always done it, and will continue to live up to the stereotype. Piece of advice- You are not allowed to stereotype her into doing dishes or laundry. Those are shared burdens. Lawn mowing, snow shoveling are not.

My wife tries to shovel snow, but don't allow her to do it whenever I can stop her.

3. Honesty in your relationship
This is the most confusing area for men.
Ok, to start off everything you say will be held against you if possible. If you are going to lie to your woman, you better be ready to live that lie. All it is going to take is one slip up, and you are done.
You have to be open and honest about your feelings with her, but she does not have to return the favor. You are required to figure out exactly what is wrong, and if you cannot you are insensitive. My advice if you don't know what you did wrong?? Ignore her, and watch some sports show. Then she will see that your attention is elsewhere, and out it will come. If you can withstand the verbal assault, you will learn what you did wrong.

My wife wants to talk and bitch about the dragon, but not necessarily do anything about the dragon; whereas as soon as I hear about the dragon I run out and slay it, not being particularly interested in why it's a dragon or in what it did.

Silence is bad, the less she says the more trouble you are in. Don't try to make jokes, it only makes the situation worse.

Oh trust me, when my wife has an opinion on something, anything, I know about it. In fact that's one of the reasons I find her so compatible: I always know what's wrong and where in it I stand (good or bad).

And lastly do not expect honesty in return. When you meet a woman, they usually are wearing make up, bras, and other things to create an image that is inconsistent with how they really look. Their entire seduction of you is based on a lie.

My wife and I are high school sweethearts, so we each knew exactly who and what the other was.

Oh, and if I never return its because my wife found this thread

Your wife is still sleeping, I'll run up stairs real quick and let her you posted this thread :2wave:

 

[WI Crippler]

Ditto for anniversaries, Valentines day, Christmas, etc.
These holidays are not are not community property, they are additional birthdays for her.
Only in the past couple years has my wife learned that she only has one birthday every year, and this is because I started treating her the way she treated me. Today I think I’m finally up to being equal with her.

Great job. Keep up the good work.

Eh, the problem in my house is keeping the kids out of everything in the bathroom. Since I'm up and gone 4 hours before everyone ells wakes up, who's using the bathroom and for how long isn't really an issue.

My kid is not old enough to do anything other than eat, crap, and sleep. But being up 4 hours before gives you time to relax and take that nice early morning dump, without feeling pressed for time.

My wife and I share the laundry, but if anything of mine disappears it's because she's wearing it (except underwear).

Ah good point, I forgot about how she wear your clothes. Many a t-shirt of min has been found in her dirty clothes pile.

I am the dishwasher, and the only thing electronic about it is the MP3 player on my head.

My wife tries to shovel snow, but don't allow her to do it whenever I can stop her.

Well that is quite a woman you have, if she puts in the effort to shovel snow. You must have hit upon the "Laying the thunder rule". Congrats.

My wife wants to talk and bitch about the dragon, but not necessarily do anything about the dragon; whereas as soon as I hear about the dragon I run out and slay it, not being particularly interested in why it's a dragon or in what it did.

Way to keep things in perspective

Oh trust me, when my wife has an opinion on something, anything, I know about it. In fact that's one of the reasons I find her so compatible: I always know what's wrong and where in it I stand (good or bad).

You sir, are at an advantage over many men.

My wife and I are high school sweethearts, so we each knew exactly who and what the other was.

Good for you. I couldn't tell you one thing about any girl I dated in H.S. other than body type and hair color.

Your wife is still sleeping, I'll run up stairs real quick and let her you posted this thread :2wave:

Hope your wife doesn't find this thread :2wave:

 

[rivrrat]

Oooo... is this a stereotype women thread? :mrgreen:

I hear about women like you've described WI, but I've yet to meet one. I'm actually really curious as to where the hell the men who claim they have women like this actually found them. I'm not like that, my friends aren't like that, my female family members aren't like that. But obviously they do exist out there!

 

[Felicity]

Girls like to know what guys are thinking. I don't believe Darling Wife would mind what you two have said--undoubtedly she knew what you thought before you did!:mrgreen:

 

[Felicity]

Oooo... is this a stereotype women thread? :mrgreen:

I hear about women like you've described WI, but I've yet to meet one. I'm actually really curious as to where the hell the men who claim they have women like this actually found them. I'm not like that, my friends aren't like that, my female family members aren't like that. But obviously they do exist out there!

I'm totally like that!

Except the bathroom thing--takes me 10 minutes--and that's too long for me!

 

[WI Crippler]

Oooo... is this a stereotype women thread? :mrgreen:

It sure is :2razz: But its all in good fun, and not really a serious debate.

I hear about women like you've described WI, but I've yet to meet one. I'm actually really curious as to where the hell the men who claim they have women like this actually found them. I'm not like that, my friends aren't like that, my female family members aren't like that. But obviously they do exist out there!

I am married to one, otherwise I could not be the expert on this subject like I am. :mrgreen:

Plus the women on this board tend to be pretty strong willed, independent women. Sometimes intelligent too. :2razz: So these things may not apply to the women of Debate Politics ( I smell a Playboy themed spread), but thats the beauty of stereotyping. You don't have to account for individuals, and that makes it easier on everyone

 

[Felicity]

Plus the women on this board tend to be pretty strong willed, independent women. Sometimes intelligent too. :2razz: So these things may not apply to the women of Debate Politics ( I smell a Playboy themed spread), but thats the beauty of stereotyping. You don't have to account for individuals, and that makes it easier on everyone

Maybe I better re-read...I didn't see anything in there that indicated a lack of intelligence or being a a pansy! Why can't a woman be all of those things and more? I recall talloulou putting up the lyrics to a Meridith Brooks song some of which goes....

I hate the world today
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
Tried to tell you
But you look at me like maybe
I'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet
Yesterday I cried
Must have been relieved to see
The softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

So take me as I am
This may mean
You'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that
When I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing

So take me as I am
This may mean
You'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that
When I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing

Just when you think, you got me figured out
The season's already changing
I think it's cool, you do what you do
And don't try to save me

I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When you hurt, when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numb, I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way





And you guys do know you wouldn't have it any other way!:2razz:

 

[WI Crippler]

Maybe I better re-read...I didn't see anything in there that indicated a lack of intelligence or being a a pansy! Why can't a woman be all of those things and more? I recall talloulou putting up the lyrics to a Meridith Brooks song some of which goes....

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

So take me as I am
This may mean
You'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that
When I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing



And you guys do know you wouldn't have it any other way!:2razz:

Yeah, you are all crazy.

Although I agree with the part that is bolded. Just because women are becoming stronger, doesn't mean men need to become weaker. We just need to step up our game.
I am telling you guys and girls, watch a show about lion prides. The male lions have got their s.h.i.t. together. Eat, s.h.i.t. ,sleep, have sex, and fight. That is the high life right there ladies. If you let your guy do that, he'd be a happy man.

 

[Kelzie]

I always find it interesting to get both sides of the issue...

This is a thread where men can come and discuss the issues about some of the things that are confusing about the women we love ( or just want to get in bed ). Some old salts on the site might not have a clue what is going on here, but suffice to say women like June Cleaver no longer exists so the tactics used in dealing with your significant other need to be updated to deal with the modern woman. Let's have some fun.


Ok guys, a few rules when it comes to the dating of modern women.

1. First impression is the lasting impression. You got to look good, smell good, speak well, and seem interested in what they have to say. It doesn't matter if you really care or not, you need to do is what women have been doing for years, fake it.

This seems like it should apply to everyone. At all times. Who wants to talk to someone who reeks of BO? And if you go out of your way to be with something, like on a date or to a friends house, you should at least pretend to be interested in what they have to say. It's only polite.

And some women don't fake it.

2. If you have the slightest crumb of food on your face, you might as well eat out of the dish like a dog. You will be considered a sloppy eater for the rest of the time you are with her.

Is this really a problem? I don't think I've ever been in this situation with a guy, although I do have to admit I spill on myself. All the time. Especially if I'm wearing white.

3.Even if you think you have pulled off a great first impression, there is still going to be something about you she is going to want to change. She won't tell you until after a few years of dating you, but it is coming I guarentee it. You are never the perfect man. At the very best you are a good man, whom she can work on throughout the marriage.

No one's perfect for anyone. And I don't expect a man to change for me, I expect him to want to change for me. Let me explain. Say some aspect of his personality, we'll say he's really jealous, is disrupting our relationship. Now if he's not willing to work on it, I have to decide if I'm willing to live with it. I can't force him to be less jealous. I extend the same courtesy. I've been -told- I'm a tad argumentative. I'm trying to work on it.

4.The first time you sleep with her, you have got to lay the thunder down. If you do this then you will be able to get away with small insignificant things for a few years. As long as you are laying pipe good, she's willing to forgive cetain things( only early on though ).

Umm, yeah. Yeah that's true.

5.Be a gentleman. Open doors, let her use your jacket, pay for the entire date. It will go a long way in getting you to point number 4. If she has issues with this then you are a man who is nothing but scum because of your backwards thinking. Get out.

I'll agree to a certain degree. At some point you have to let her pay, it's polite. Especially if she asks you out.

Now for a few marriage tips....
1. Wedding day
Although you may refer to it as "our wedding day", it is actually her wedding day. You just "get" to be there. I have heard women talk about "their wedding" in reference to themselves. Guys there is nothing about this day that is remotley yours. Even getting tanked at the reception is not allowed. Even though you have slept with her for 2 years before you got married, somehow its special that she has sex on her wedding night.

I don't know. I have no desire to get married. I already planned one wedding and it was torture. I have no wish to plan another. They're ridiculous. Way too much money on one day...kinda like prom amplified by ten.

2. Living together
This usually happens before marriage nowadays, and I think its a good thing. You can find out some nasty habits before you get hitched, so you either have time to adapt, or get out.

Agreed.

Now, I recommend keeping a low level of managable hair because you are not going to have free reign of the bathroom anymore. Her personal maintenance time is more important than yours. I think this is the problem why Hollywood marriages don't last. The meterosexual men in hollywood probably get mad when they don't have enough time to redo their frosted tips.

Proabably true for most relationships. However, I get up earlier so that my boy can have the time he needs in the bathroom. It's only fair. I have no explanation for the fact that 90% of the bathroom cabinet space is for my crap. That's just the way it's gotta be. :mrgreen:

Laundry-don't assume that women know how to work a washer or dryer these days. I recommend you check the lint trap in the dryer, since women do not seem to realize it exists. Also, if you have a shirt, pair of pants, or pair of comfortable underware that she doesn't like, expect it to disappear.
Dishes-you have got a pair of hands the same as her, and since most people are using dishwashers now, it is your responsibility since it involves electronics.

I...think I generally split the work. Although Gunny usually does the dishes since I normally cook. We both put them away though. Relationships are all about finding the balance. I like to cook and I'm good at it. Gunny doesn't like too and...well...let's just say it makes more sense for me to cook.

Lawn Mowing/Snow Shoveling ( where applicable )- You kidding me, this is a mans job. We have always done it, and will continue to live up to the stereotype. Piece of advice- You are not allowed to stereotype her into doing dishes or laundry. Those are shared burdens. Lawn mowing, snow shoveling are not.

While it's N/A for me, it's true.

3. Honesty in your relationship
This is the most confusing area for men.
Ok, to start off everything you say will be held against you if possible. If you are going to lie to your woman, you better be ready to live that lie. All it is going to take is one slip up, and you are done.
You have to be open and honest about your feelings with her, but she does not have to return the favor. You are required to figure out exactly what is wrong, and if you cannot you are insensitive. My advice if you don't know what you did wrong?? Ignore her, and watch some sports show. Then she will see that your attention is elsewhere, and out it will come. If you can withstand the verbal assault, you will learn what you did wrong.
Silence is bad, the less she says the more trouble you are in. Don't try to make jokes, it only makes the situation worse.
And lastly do not expect honesty in return. When you meet a woman, they usually are wearing make up, bras, and other things to create an image that is inconsistent with how they really look. Their entire seduction of you is based on a lie.


Oh, and if I never return its because my wife found this thread

I...don't know. I try not to be a pain in the ***, but I assume most women aren't purposefully trying to play games. Maybe they are. Generally, I'll speak up when something's wrong. Maybe a little too much.


This is a great thread. :2wave:

 

[rivrrat]

It sure is :2razz: But its all in good fun, and not really a serious debate.

Yes I know I can laugh at the stereotyping of other women even when it doesn't apply to me. Hmm... maybe *especially* since it doesn't apply to me.





Okay.. .every now and then it does apply to me. like #4... but in my experience, the same can be said of men.

 

[Felicity]

More boys need to reply!

 

[WI Crippler]

Okay.. .every now and then it does apply to me. like #4... but in my experience, the same can be said of men.

Ummm, I don't really care to have people, "laying the pipe" to me. Now jallman is a different case entirely.:2razz:

 

[rivrrat]

Ummm, I don't really care to have people, "laying the pipe" to me. Now jallman is a different case entirely.:2razz:

You know what I meant.

 

[WI Crippler]

You know what I meant.

You never know these days.

 

[WI Crippler]

Is this really a problem? I don't think I've ever been in this situation with a guy, although I do have to admit I spill on myself. All the time. Especially if I'm wearing white.

Yeah but guys don't worry about women spilling. In fact if you were to spill water on a white shirt, you may receive even more attention.

No one's perfect for anyone. And I don't expect a man to change for me, I expect him to want to change for me. Let me explain. Say some aspect of his personality, we'll say he's really jealous, is disrupting our relationship. Now if he's not willing to work on it, I have to decide if I'm willing to live with it. I can't force him to be less jealous. I extend the same courtesy. I've been -told- I'm a tad argumentative. I'm trying to work on it.

Yes there it is. You still want him to change, but this is even worse because now he is supposed to want to change for you. At least you are honest. Its like that show, and I can't recall which one off the top of my head, but the lady says "I want you to want to do the dishes", and the guy was like " Why would I want to do dishes"

Umm, yeah. Yeah that's true.

Goes with my theory of Big Dick, Big Wallet, Big Muscles. Men only need 1 out of the three to hook a woman. And probably in that order too. If you get 2 out of three or all three, you are in for a while.

I'll agree to a certain degree. At some point you have to let her pay, it's polite. Especially if she asks you out.

Never have I had a woman ask me out or ask to pay. I thought this was urban legend

I don't know. I have no desire to get married. I already planned one wedding and it was torture. I have no wish to plan another. They're ridiculous. Way too much money on one day...kinda like prom amplified by ten.

Exactly, most weddings are over the top and super expensive ( thankfully mine was very small, and nice. Still was her day though). Not guys fault.

Proabably true for most relationships. However, I get up earlier so that my boy can have the time he needs in the bathroom. It's only fair. I have no explanation for the fact that 90% of the bathroom cabinet space is for my crap. That's just the way it's gotta be. :mrgreen:

Yeah, in regards to cabinet space, men need to stake out a corner of the cabinet and make a stand to defend it from all the women products that seek to encroach on its territory. Mens products are like Israel. Some people thing they don't have a claim to the area, but we will fight to hold our position.

I...think I generally split the work. Although Gunny usually does the dishes since I normally cook. We both put them away though. Relationships are all about finding the balance. I like to cook and I'm good at it. Gunny doesn't like too and...well...let's just say it makes more sense for me to cook.

Well since he doesn't have to shovel snow or cut grass, you have to give him something to do huh??

I...don't know. I try not to be a pain in the ***, but I assume most women aren't purposefully trying to play games. Maybe they are. Generally, I'll speak up when something's wrong. Maybe a little too much.

If you think you are speaking up too much, you probably are. Just some friendly advice :2wave:

Hint: if it bothers you and he doesn't notice, just let it go. Its that easy.

This is a great thread. :2wave:

Thanks

 

[Kelzie]

Yes there it is. You still want him to change, but this is even worse because now he is supposed to want to change for you. At least you are honest. Its like that show, and I can't recall which one off the top of my head, but the lady says "I want you to want to do the dishes", and the guy was like " Why would I want to do dishes"

God damn...what show was that? Someone help us out here. Anyway, I see a relationship as being about compromises. Sometimes you have to compromise one of your traits. If you don't want to for whatever reason, you should let the other person know so they can decide if the situation's liveable. It's not unreasonable to want change, only to demand it.

Goes with my theory of Big Dick, Big Wallet, Big Muscles. Men only need 1 out of the three to hook a woman. And probably in that order too. If you get 2 out of three or all three, you are in for a while.

Big wallet...meh. I guess it'd be nice, but it's not a requirement. Actually, none of those are requirements and I wouldn't date a guy just because he has one of them. Just makes him that much better if he does.

Never have I had a woman ask me out or ask to pay. I thought this was urban legend

I've done both. Actually, I tend to initiate contact much more than the other way around. Ask Gunny, he'll agree. Although with his case I didn't ask him out so much as...drag him into bed...:twisted:

If you think you are speaking up too much, you probably are. Just some friendly advice :2wave:

Hint: if it bothers you and he doesn't notice, just let it go. Its that easy.

Meh, I've gotten better about starting "talks." I've let go of a lot of unrealistic expectations that have helped my peace of mind a lot. There was a quote from a book I read that struck a chord with me.

"I endowed her with characteristics she didn't possess than hated her for not possessing them."

I think women do this a lot and it's rather unfair.

 

[WI Crippler]

God damn...what show was that? Someone help us out here. Anyway, I see a relationship as being about compromises. Sometimes you have to compromise one of your traits. If you don't want to for whatever reason, you should let the other person know so they can decide if the situation's liveable. It's not unreasonable to want change, only to demand it.

I am thinking it might have been Everybody Loves Raymond. I never really watched the show, but it seems to stick in my head that it was that show.

Big wallet...meh. I guess it'd be nice, but it's not a requirement. Actually, none of those are requirements and I wouldn't date a guy just because he has one of them. Just makes him that much better if he does.

Oh those aren't needed to steal your heart away. Just to get you in bed. You see, i think we need to evaluate the term "date" and what it means to men and women.

I've done both. Actually, I tend to initiate contact much more than the other way around. Ask Gunny, he'll agree. Although with his case I didn't ask him out so much as...drag him into bed...:twisted:

Well he is a Marine, so its understandable you would do that. No shame there missy....

Meh, I've gotten better about starting "talks." I've let go of a lot of unrealistic expectations that have helped my peace of mind a lot. There was a quote from a book I read that struck a chord with me.
"I endowed her with characteristics she didn't possess than hated her for not possessing them."
I think women do this a lot and it's rather unfair.

It goes with my theory that men want there women to stay the same, and women want there men to change. The big problem with this, is that women are always changing and men like to stay the same. I still have my high reg haircut, and will never give it up.

 

[rivrrat]

I wanna play too! Not fair that only men can. *pouts*

1. First impression is the lasting impression. You got to look good, smell good, speak well, and seem interested in what they have to say. It doesn't matter if you really care or not, you need to do is what women have been doing for years, fake it.

Hmm... it *does* really matter to me if they care or not. I can tell when someone is "faking" it. And if they are, he's not going to last long. But sometimes, that's okay. Because sometimes, all I'm looking for is to get laid. In which case, I don't give a hoot what he "cares" about. We're not gonna be doing much talking anyway.

2. If you have the slightest crumb of food on your face, you might as well eat out of the dish like a dog. You will be considered a sloppy eater for the rest of the time you are with her.

LOL Not true at all!

3.Even if you think you have pulled off a great first impression, there is still going to be something about you she is going to want to change. She won't tell you until after a few years of dating you, but it is coming I guarentee it. You are never the perfect man. At the very best you are a good man, whom she can work on throughout the marriage.

No one is perfect. For long term relationships, I look for someone who's faults I can tolerate. I don't want to change anyone, unless something they are doing is causing problems in the relationship. (see Kelzie's answer)

4.The first time you sleep with her, you have got to lay the thunder down. If you do this then you will be able to get away with small insignificant things for a few years. As long as you are laying pipe good, she's willing to forgive cetain things( only early on though ).

I'm only willing to forgive certain things if I don't feel the relationship is going to necessarily last. I mean... are we just having a fling that's mostly sex? If so, then if he's good at what he does... I'm gonna "forgive" most other things yeah. But, if it's a long term relationship? Nah... sex may be a very important aspect (and I've dumped men because they weren't good enough in bed), but it's not the ONLY aspect.

5.Be a gentleman. Open doors, let her use your jacket, pay for the entire date. It will go a long way in getting you to point number 4. If she has issues with this then you are a man who is nothing but scum because of your backwards thinking. Get out.

Not so much. I generally pay, because most times I'm the one who makes more money. I don't mind if he wants to pay, but I *always* expect to pay. Only open the door if you get there first, don't knock me down trying to get in front of me. If I get there first, I open the door for the person with me. *shrugs*

1. Wedding day
Although you may refer to it as "our wedding day", it is actually her wedding day. You just "get" to be there. I have heard women talk about "their wedding" in reference to themselves. Guys there is nothing about this day that is remotley yours. Even getting tanked at the reception is not allowed. Even though you have slept with her for 2 years before you got married, somehow its special that she has sex on her wedding night.

I have absolutely no interest in getting married. Makes no sense to me.

2. Living together
Now, I recommend keeping a low level of managable hair because you are not going to have free reign of the bathroom anymore. Her personal maintenance time is more important than yours. I think this is the problem why Hollywood marriages don't last. The meterosexual men in hollywood probably get mad when they don't have enough time to redo their frosted tips.

LMAO I spend 10 minutes in the bathroom in the morning... *tops*. Showering takes me about that long too.

Laundry-don't assume that women know how to work a washer or dryer these days. I recommend you check the lint trap in the dryer, since women do not seem to realize it exists. Also, if you have a shirt, pair of pants, or pair of comfortable underware that she doesn't like, expect it to disappear.

I don't assume that any man knows how to work a washer and dryer, therefore I'll do the laundry - thanks. I have a couple (not many, but a couple) expensive things that I'd rather not see ruined.

And I'd *never* get rid of anything belonging to someone else, whether I like it or not. That's just rude.

Dishes-you have got a pair of hands the same as her, and since most people are using dishwashers now, it is your responsibility since it involves electronics.

I figure if you had a hand in dirtying them, you can have a hand in cleaning them. But, it's all about sharing the responsibility so that no one person in the relationship feels crapped on all the time.

Lawn Mowing/Snow Shoveling ( where applicable )- You kidding me, this is a mans job. We have always done it, and will continue to live up to the stereotype. Piece of advice- You are not allowed to stereotype her into doing dishes or laundry. Those are shared burdens. Lawn mowing, snow shoveling are not.

I shovel the snow and mow the lawn. I always have, and I probably always will. Though in a long term relationship, I'm sure we'd be sharing the burden.

3. Honesty in your relationship
This is the most confusing area for men.
Ok, to start off everything you say will be held against you if possible. If you are going to lie to your woman, you better be ready to live that lie. All it is going to take is one slip up, and you are done.

Definitely.

You have to be open and honest about your feelings with her, but she does not have to return the favor.

Absolutely not true! That would just be hypocritical.

You are required to figure out exactly what is wrong, and if you cannot you are insensitive.

LMAO sounds like some women expect men to read minds? Well, since I know and understand the attention span of the average man, it would be completely irrational of me to expect him to "figure it out". Why would I do that? I tell people exactly what I think. No second guessing allowed. Need clarification, ask me... I'll be happy to lay it all out again for you.

Silence is bad, the less she says the more trouble you are in.

In a way this is true simply because I'm probably trying to figure out how to say something without completely losing my cool, or my temper, or break down in tears, etc. I'm the type of person who will step away from a volatile situation and try to let emotions calm before either of us say something hurtful.

Don't try to make jokes, it only makes the situation worse.

Sometimes, but not always... depends on how serious it is.

And lastly do not expect honesty in return. When you meet a woman, they usually are wearing make up, bras, and other things to create an image that is inconsistent with how they really look. Their entire seduction of you is based on a lie.

No makeup. No bra. Hell, not even any underwear here.

 

[reaganburch]

God damn...what show was that? .

It wasn't a show, it was a movie... With Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston... The Breakup, I think the movie was called

 

[Kelzie]

It wasn't a show, it was a movie... With Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston... The Breakup, I think the movie was called

Thank you! :2wave:

 

[jallman]

This thread is really funny to me. I guess it's all about perspective...

And Crippler...no more pipe laying references that involve me...it's just not...okay. :mrgreen:

 

[WI Crippler]

I wanna play too! Not fair that only men can. *pouts*

By all means, bring it on....

Hmm... it *does* really matter to me if they care or not. I can tell when someone is "faking" it. And if they are, he's not going to last long. But sometimes, that's okay. Because sometimes, all I'm looking for is to get laid. In which case, I don't give a hoot what he "cares" about. We're not gonna be doing much talking anyway.

Wow, that is so amazing and insightful. So where did you go to college?? I've always been impressed by strong intelligent women like yourself.
So am I interested or not

No one is perfect. For long term relationships, I look for someone who's faults I can tolerate. I don't want to change anyone, unless something they are doing is causing problems in the relationship. (see Kelzie's answer)

No, no one is perfect, but men are more aware of this than women are. We are willing to give a woman a little more cushion on her behind, if she has the rack to go with it. And vice versa.

I'm only willing to forgive certain things if I don't feel the relationship is going to necessarily last. I mean... are we just having a fling that's mostly sex? If so, then if he's good at what he does... I'm gonna "forgive" most other things yeah. But, if it's a long term relationship? Nah... sex may be a very important aspect (and I've dumped men because they weren't good enough in bed), but it's not the ONLY aspect.

Not the only, but its very important. Women will only handle bad sex for so long, no matter how nice the guy is. They got an itch deep down, they need a guy who can get there to scratch it.

Not so much. I generally pay, because most times I'm the one who makes more money. I don't mind if he wants to pay, but I *always* expect to pay. Only open the door if you get there first, don't knock me down trying to get in front of me. If I get there first, I open the door for the person with me. *shrugs*

Again I have never ran into a situation where a woman offers to pay. Well actually when I was in Australia this girl I was nailing did buy me a nice shirt, and brought it to my hotel room as a suprise. but I never asked for a shirt or anything. She just thought I would look good in it, which set off alarms in my head, because I knew I wan't hanging around for much longer. But I took it anyway, I figure it was payment received for the sex I bestowed upon her.

I have absolutely no interest in getting married. Makes no sense to me.

I can respect that, but its not the popular sentiment right now.

LMAO I spend 10 minutes in the bathroom in the morning... *tops*. Showering takes me about that long too.

Believe it when I see it. Not you personally, but I know how women are in bathrooms. I can watch an entire show on TV in the "10 minutes" it takes women to get ready.

I don't assume that any man knows how to work a washer and dryer, therefore I'll do the laundry - thanks. I have a couple (not many, but a couple) expensive things that I'd rather not see ruined.

Most men are ignorant of how to properly wash and dry clothes, but women are catching up to us in this department at an alarming rate.

I figure if you had a hand in dirtying them, you can have a hand in cleaning them. But, it's all about sharing the responsibility so that no one person in the relationship feels crapped on all the time.


I shovel the snow and mow the lawn. I always have, and I probably always will. Though in a long term relationship, I'm sure we'd be sharing the burden.

As long as its all shared. but rarely have I seen a woman shoveling snow or mowing the lawn. If there's going to be shared burdens, it better go both ways

Absolutely not true! That would just be hypocritical.

To quote Ron Burgandy " Its just science"

LMAO sounds like some women expect men to read minds? Well, since I know and understand the attention span of the average man, it would be completely irrational of me to expect him to "figure it out". Why would I do that? I tell people exactly what I think. No second guessing allowed. Need clarification, ask me... I'll be happy to lay it all out again for you.

Sorry, girl with big boobs walked by. Did you say something??

In a way this is true simply because I'm probably trying to figure out how to say something without completely losing my cool, or my temper, or break down in tears, etc. I'm the type of person who will step away from a volatile situation and try to let emotions calm before either of us say something hurtful.

Bah, where is the fun in that?? Take a jiu-jitsu class and choke your partner out or bend his arm until its at the point of breaking. My friends are instructors and have solved some of their issues this way, it works out great.

No makeup. No bra. Hell, not even any underwear here.

Now if a guy said that it would be gross. but with women its sexy. I'll accept that double standard however.

 

[WI Crippler]

It wasn't a show, it was a movie... With Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston... The Breakup, I think the movie was called

Thats right. Thanks

 

[WI Crippler]

This thread is really funny to me. I guess it's all about perspective...

And Crippler...no more pipe laying references that involve me...it's just not...okay. :mrgreen:

No problem....is there a term you prefer, in case I need to make sexually suggestive posts regarding gay men?? I try not to be too offensive