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Why can't some men seem to notice, they're aging nowhere near as well as they think..

JustineCredible

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Maybe it's me, maybe it's my lack of understanding of the male mind, but I've run across this a few times with male friends. They don't realize they're aging, or if they do, they think they're doing it a lot better than they are.

Currently I have a dear old friend living with my partner and I, it's temporary for now, but he's here trying to recover/recoup...whatever, and he thinks he's "all that AND a bag of chips" when in all actuality he's only slightly above average. Granted, I think he looks amazing "FOR HIS AGE" but he definitely looks his age.
 

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Re: Why can't some men seem to notice, they're aging nowhere near as well as they thi

Maybe it's me, maybe it's my lack of understanding of the male mind, but I've run across this a few times with male friends. They don't realize they're aging, or if they do, they think they're doing it a lot better than they are.

Currently I have a dear old friend living with my partner and I, it's temporary for now, but he's here trying to recover/recoup...whatever, and he thinks he's "all that AND a bag of chips" when in all actuality he's only slightly above average. Granted, I think he looks amazing "FOR HIS AGE" but he definitely looks his age.
if he was all that and a bag of chips he'd have his own place. :2razz:
 

OscarB63

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Re: Why can't some men seem to notice, they're aging nowhere near as well as they thi

A lot of guys who fall prey to that are the dudes who were "pretty boys" when they were younger and always had people telling them how "hot" they were. They still have that mindset.

I have the problem of forgetting that my 48 year old body just isn't capable of doing what my 25 year old body did. Or if it is capable it takes much, much, much, much ... longer to recover.
 

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Re: Why can't some men seem to notice, they're aging nowhere near as well as they thi

A lot of guys who fall prey to that are the dudes who were "pretty boys" when they were younger and always had people telling them how "hot" they were. They still have that mindset.

I have the problem of forgetting that my 48 year old body just isn't capable of doing what my 25 year old body did. Or if it is capable it takes much, much, much, much ... longer to recover.
i spent the morning yesterday pulling weeds and landscaping......and worked out in the evening. today, my back is killing me. i hate getting older only for that reason!
 

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Re: Why can't some men seem to notice, they're aging nowhere near as well as they thi

Maybe it's me, maybe it's my lack of understanding of the male mind, but I've run across this a few times with male friends. They don't realize they're aging, or if they do, they think they're doing it a lot better than they are.

Currently I have a dear old friend living with my partner and I, it's temporary for now, but he's here trying to recover/recoup...whatever, and he thinks he's "all that AND a bag of chips" when in all actuality he's only slightly above average. Granted, I think he looks amazing "FOR HIS AGE" but he definitely looks his age.
Some of us just don't give a **** what others think. Apparently he thinks that because he's single... and needing to "recover/recoup". However we age is predetermined by genetics... I thought woment found "confidence" sexy? BWAHAHAHA.
 

winston53660

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Re: Why can't some men seem to notice, they're aging nowhere near as well as they thi

Maybe it's me, maybe it's my lack of understanding of the male mind, but I've run across this a few times with male friends. They don't realize they're aging, or if they do, they think they're doing it a lot better than they are.

Currently I have a dear old friend living with my partner and I, it's temporary for now, but he's here trying to recover/recoup...whatever, and he thinks he's "all that AND a bag of chips" when in all actuality he's only slightly above average. Granted, I think he looks amazing "FOR HIS AGE" but he definitely looks his age.
Me being God's gift to women means I don't have to worry about these things:mrgreen:
 

mike2810

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Re: Why can't some men seem to notice, they're aging nowhere near as well as they thi

I may grow old, but I'm never going to grow up. Life is to short. Heck, some parts of my body wakes up faster than others in the morning. I can't do what I did in my 20's or 30's. I know I have and am aging (60 next summer). I accept what nature has delt me and others.
 

JustineCredible

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Re: Why can't some men seem to notice, they're aging nowhere near as well as they thi

Some of us just don't give a **** what others think. Apparently he thinks that because he's single... and needing to "recover/recoup". However we age is predetermined by genetics... I thought woment found "confidence" sexy? BWAHAHAHA.
There's a world of difference between confidence and being concieted. Granted, my friend's over used line is "I'm not concieted, I'm convinced." How F'd up is that?
 

JustineCredible

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Re: Why can't some men seem to notice, they're aging nowhere near as well as they thi

I may grow old, but I'm never going to grow up. Life is to short. Heck, some parts of my body wakes up faster than others in the morning. I can't do what I did in my 20's or 30's. I know I have and am aging (60 next summer). I accept what nature has delt me and others.
Yeah, that's my friend's problem too. He absolutely refuses to "grow up." I'm sorry, but I don't find that attractive at all, I find it infuriating. I already raised my son, I'm not going to raise another mother's son...GROW UP MEN!
 

JustineCredible

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Re: Why can't some men seem to notice, they're aging nowhere near as well as they thi

A lot of guys who fall prey to that are the dudes who were "pretty boys" when they were younger and always had people telling them how "hot" they were. They still have that mindset.

I have the problem of forgetting that my 48 year old body just isn't capable of doing what my 25 year old body did. Or if it is capable it takes much, much, much, much ... longer to recover.

Well I can assure you he was never concidered to be a "Pretty boy" by any stretch. He was, however, a rugedly handsome guy, kinda still is...for his age.
As a young man he joined the Army, became a partrooper and Ranger. When he got out he started a career at thirty as a snowboarding instructor, gained certification as an instructor/trainer and freestyle coach at Breckenridge and Vail, and during the off season got his certification as a White Water River guide and Kayak freestyle instructor.
But about ten years later his body started catching up to him. He had a nearly fatal accident that nearly crushed one side of his face and he had to have his eye socket reconstructed. He's beated his body up to the point that now, he's not willing to admit that he simply can't do what he once was able to do.
Unfortunately he was born with one major flaw, he has cronic infant broncitis (COPD, now) and last fall had to have a lung drained...and doctors ordered him off the mountains.
That's why he moved from the Rockies to Central PA, with me.
 

Catz Part Deux

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Re: Why can't some men seem to notice, they're aging nowhere near as well as they thi

That's a lot of life change to deal with. His entire self image sounds like it was wrapped up in being a bad ass. If he can't be a bad ass, who can he be?

I would not be surprised, at all, if this is his way of not falling into a depression. Denial is a coping mechanism.

What he needs to figure out is that his worth is not wrapped up in the things he's lost, that he still has worth in his current circumstances. I suspect that a lot of his talk is posturing.

It's interesting. The suicide rate amongst retired police officers is extremely high. They don't do well transitioning into retirement. I think that so much of their self-image is tied into being a cop...being 170% masculine, being physically fit, living on the edge, the addiction to the adrenaline. Your friend sounds like a similar kind of guy.

You may want to suggest that he discover new ways of enjoying his life. Indoor rock climbing might be something he'd like, for instance. It doesn't require a lot of cardio, but it provides the adrenaline rush.

Instead of trying to "bring him down to earth," stroke his ego when he makes positive strides in new areas. Make suggestions of new skills he can develop, and then feed his efforts at healthy behavior. Set reasonable boundaries on what you expect from him while living with you, too. Don't coddle his ass.
 
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TheGirlNextDoor

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Re: Why can't some men seem to notice, they're aging nowhere near as well as they thi

Maybe it's me, maybe it's my lack of understanding of the male mind, but I've run across this a few times with male friends. They don't realize they're aging, or if they do, they think they're doing it a lot better than they are.

Currently I have a dear old friend living with my partner and I, it's temporary for now, but he's here trying to recover/recoup...whatever, and he thinks he's "all that AND a bag of chips" when in all actuality he's only slightly above average. Granted, I think he looks amazing "FOR HIS AGE" but he definitely looks his age.
Men just don't generally obsess with the aging process like many women do.
 

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Re: Why can't some men seem to notice, they're aging nowhere near as well as they thi

Aging isn't really that much of a concern for men, at least physically speaking. I suppose there is the brief mid-life crisis I have yet to experience. But by and large most men I know aren't intimidated by the prospect of having turned 40 or 50. We know our bodies aren't as good as they were in our youth, but I think we aren't as tied to our body image, as we are to our image being built upon our accomplishments or lack thereof.
 

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Re: Why can't some men seem to notice, they're aging nowhere near as well as they thi

Yeah, that's my friend's problem too. He absolutely refuses to "grow up." I'm sorry, but I don't find that attractive at all, I find it infuriating. I already raised my son, I'm not going to raise another mother's son...GROW UP MEN!
Why do you use this one man to denigrate all men?

Heck, in another thread, you said you only saw men as sex objects, so perhaps it is YOU who should grow up.
 

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Re: Why can't some men seem to notice, they're aging nowhere near as well as they thi

Yeah, that's my friend's problem too. He absolutely refuses to "grow up." I'm sorry, but I don't find that attractive at all, I find it infuriating. I already raised my son, I'm not going to raise another mother's son...GROW UP MEN!
ahem. (don't worry guys, i got this) No. :D
 

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Re: Why can't some men seem to notice, they're aging nowhere near as well as they thi

but I think we aren't as tied to our body image, as we are to our image being built upon our accomplishments or lack thereof.
I think that if your image were tied to physical accomplishments, as this guy's appears to be, it would be more challenging.
 

cpwill

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Re: Why can't some men seem to notice, they're aging nowhere near as well as they thi

Why do you use this one man to denigrate all men?

Heck, in another thread, you said you only saw men as sex objects, so perhaps it is YOU who should grow up.
to be fair, i think i know plenty of men who would be cool with that plan.
 

winston53660

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Re: Why can't some men seem to notice, they're aging nowhere near as well as they thi

to be fair, i think i know plenty of men who would be cool with that plan.
Meh so many woman so little time.
 

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Re: Why can't some men seem to notice, they're aging nowhere near as well as they thi

Well I can assure you he was never concidered to be a "Pretty boy" by any stretch. He was, however, a rugedly handsome guy, kinda still is...for his age.
As a young man he joined the Army, became a partrooper and Ranger. When he got out he started a career at thirty as a snowboarding instructor, gained certification as an instructor/trainer and freestyle coach at Breckenridge and Vail, and during the off season got his certification as a White Water River guide and Kayak freestyle instructor.
But about ten years later his body started catching up to him. He had a nearly fatal accident that nearly crushed one side of his face and he had to have his eye socket reconstructed. He's beated his body up to the point that now, he's not willing to admit that he simply can't do what he once was able to do.
Unfortunately he was born with one major flaw, he has cronic infant broncitis (COPD, now) and last fall had to have a lung drained...and doctors ordered him off the mountains.
That's why he moved from the Rockies to Central PA, with me.
It is difficult when you made your living off your body for so long, and all of your hobbies tie into that too. I can sympathize with him since I was a river guide, ski patroller, etc. I just went boogie boarding on my old river for the first time in years and let me tell you... I felt it. It hurt a lot more than it used to. However, that doesn't mean that we can't still do those things, it just means we have to be smarter about how we do them. Can I still boogie board down the Gauley? Yes, but not every day. And I need to wear some shin and knee guards, and ice my knees and shoulders afterwards. He just needs to learn how to help his body recover from things that he didn't used to have to recover from. And, how to protect his body from things he didn't used to have to protect it from. Maybe the moutains out west were too high for his COPD, but what about the lower elevation moutains back east where he is now? Ski instructor isn't *that* physically demanding, anyway. But even if he got a job on the mountain doing something less physical, he could still ski on his off time for free.

He may have to find another way to make a living, but that doesn't mean he still can't play. His situation is one reason I got out of the full time physical work like that years ago. It was, and is, a difficult transition and I really do feel for him. But he needs to find a way to still get that physical activity in some way, even if it isn't as often or as intense. There are other physically active jobs that he could do. Has he considered working for the Park Service? And, why can't he still instruct kayaking?
 

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Re: Why can't some men seem to notice, they're aging nowhere near as well as they thi

I think that if your image were tied to physical accomplishments, as this guy's appears to be, it would be more challenging.
Well everybody is different. I am just talking generally. If people's self worth is tied up in some physical characteristic, then losing that is going to be difficult. But generally speaking, most men aren't tied to their physical appearance. Those that do would be the exceptions that prove the rule.
 

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Re: Why can't some men seem to notice, they're aging nowhere near as well as they thi

Well everybody is different. I am just talking generally. If people's self worth is tied up in some physical characteristic, then losing that is going to be difficult. But generally speaking, most men aren't tied to their physical appearance. Those that do would be the exceptions that prove the rule.
I don't think men are as tied to physical appearance, but physical activity? Yeah. Big, time.
 

winston53660

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Re: Why can't some men seem to notice, they're aging nowhere near as well as they thi

I don't think men are as tied to physical appearance, but physical activity? Yeah. Big, time.
Is that why god created the lazy-boy?

 

justabubba

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Re: Why can't some men seem to notice, they're aging nowhere near as well as they thi

Maybe it's me, maybe it's my lack of understanding of the male mind, but I've run across this a few times with male friends. They don't realize they're aging, or if they do, they think they're doing it a lot better than they are.

Currently I have a dear old friend living with my partner and I, it's temporary for now, but he's here trying to recover/recoup...whatever, and he thinks he's "all that AND a bag of chips" when in all actuality he's only slightly above average. Granted, I think he looks amazing "FOR HIS AGE" but he definitely looks his age.
you may have gotten in right in the beginning

anyway, turn your girl friends onto him and do them all a favor
 

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Re: Why can't some men seem to notice, they're aging nowhere near as well as they thi

I don't think there is a gender correlation necessarily. People in general neglect their bodies these days and extend themselves beyond natural limits. Our modern world is all about ignoring health boundaries, so it's not surprising that some people are disconnected from their own aging process. They just assume they'll live for a long time with no problems, and that their physical state is not changing along with its needs. i.e. some people will continue to drink like they did when they were in their 20's with no regard for ongoing liver cirrhosis.

It also doesn't help that the dominant health care system places barely any emphasis on prevention. People do what they want until there are physical consequences, and then they expect the health system to bail them out.
 
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