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Why at 51 I'm Not Wealthy

There seems to be a host of things that I have said that have given the impression that I'm in my situation because of bad choices. I think that takes a little clarification and rather than do that anywhere else, I figured this would be a good spot. That way, only those who care to know, can check it out :)

Born to drug addicts in the 70s. Raised myself until I went homeless at 16 when I ran away from home after being sexually exploited, raped, beaten, molested, while being passed between family members.

At 17, I was working and began dating the only man close to my age I knew who had a job. I applied for college, but was told my parents had to sign everything because I was underage, even though I had already graduated.

My biggest mistake:
3 years later we were married and I had my first kid. We had 2 more children together over the next 9 years. I raised them in a series of churches (changing when we moved) to avoid giving them the life I had.

When my oldest hit 11, I applied for college. My ex was a bastard, and my 11 yr.old tried to kill himself. I dropped college to take care of him.

I excelled in certain jobs after the kids reached school age. Became a manager in every job I held--in one case, Executive Director.

Between 2010 and 2018--everyone in my family died (aside from one elderly aunt) and my best friend. I was overwhelmed with the duties of burying them all--as I am the only one in my generation since none of the aunts and uncles had kids.

At 49, I chose to end my bad marriage. My youngest, the one I was most worried about, said, "It's about time!" I gave my ex too many "chances" to get his rage under control. Considering my history with abuse, self-esteem was a long-term issue.

I took a year to get counseling and sort out the issues from that marriage. I chose to leave Wisconsin and relocate to Washington where my children live.

At 50, I enrolled in college--finally realizing a lifelong dream.

I chose not to be a manager as I understand the 40+ hours that takes from previous experience and want to focus on studies. I could 'rough' it for the years needed to get my degree because I've been in worse and lived on less. Plus, I don't have the same energy as I did at 20.

So there we have it, how at 51 one can end up in college and not be wealthy. I believe it's probably lingering self-esteem issues that prompted this post. I shouldn't care that the reputation I have here could be tarnished by those who see people based on the content of their bank accounts and not on their character. I shouldn't--but I do because aside from this forum, I have no other social media presence. I'm not on Facebook anymore, Twitter, or anywhere else. I have no family (aside from my kids) or friends because of relocating.

This is it for me--and I appreciate the wonderful and warm welcome many others have given me. Thank you for that--it is appreciated!
 
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Thanks for the very open and honest assessment of your life. You did what you had to do under your less than stellar circumstances especially with regard to your family. You've recognized your mistakes along the way and made real attempts to correct them. You ultimately did find your calling in life by your ability to interact with and manage people. Don't take it lightly. Not everyone has that skill. I know you've decided you don't want to do that anymore...but you can do it if you have to. I curious about college in your 50s. Is it difficult? As we age our technical ability is diminished but our wisdom grows and you certainly have been the school of hard knocks. I know I would have trouble going through coursework. There's so many distractions today. Anyway... You're only 51 and your life is far from being over. I wish you great success in the future. Good luck.
 
You are a survivor, and you have absolutely NOTHING to feel ashamed about. Money or lack there of does not define us, character does, and in that; you are rich! Stay well my friend.
 
Thanks for the very open and honest assessment of your life. You did what you had to do under your less than stellar circumstances especially with regard to your family. You've recognized your mistakes along the way and made real attempts to correct them. You ultimately did find your calling in life by your ability to interact with and manage people. Don't take it lightly. Not everyone has that skill. I know you've decided you don't want to do that anymore...but you can do it if you have to. I curious about college in your 50s. Is it difficult? As we age our technical ability is diminished but our wisdom grows and you certainly have been the school of hard knocks. I know I would have trouble going through coursework. There's so many distractions today. Anyway... You're only 51 and your life is far from being over. I wish you great success in the future. Good luck.
I was so flippin' nervous and scared before I started. I thought, I haven't had math since 1988--how the heck am I going to manage????

But then I got my first courses--and OMGosh--it's SO easy! My life experience as an editor helped me sail through the English requirements. Math was awful--I had statistics. I got an A, but I needed a LOT of extra time and tutoring to get through that. Fortunately, it's the only math I need for a Criminal Justice degree.

The hard part is that the few peers I do have in class, are all getting their masters and just fulfilling some branch of sociology (which is where criminal justice falls) requirement. I can't be supportive, because they're so much more far advanced than I am. Mostly I'm with younger people--and have very little in common so forming bonds is difficult. I'm used to being on my own though, very comfortable with my own company, so that's good :)

Thanks for the question! I appreciate the support and good luck wishes too :)
 
You've mentioned before that you're in a course. But now I hear it's Criminal Justice!

You could be a criminal justice counselor, or a cop, or a law clerk for someone in government.

Overall, it's a great choice of degree, it gives you many options. I was concerned that maybe you were studying Nursing, which is a noble profession to be sure, but which would burn you out in a field where even 20 yo's get burned out by the hours and the emotional demands of patients.
 
You've mentioned before that you're in a course. But now I hear it's Criminal Justice!

You could be a criminal justice counselor, or a cop, or a law clerk for someone in government.

Overall, it's a great choice of degree, it gives you many options. I was concerned that maybe you were studying Nursing, which is a noble profession to be sure, but which would burn you out in a field where even 20 yo's get burned out by the hours and the emotional demands of patients.
Yes! Thank you :)

I'm taking advantage of the newly created positions--becoming an outreach/resource officer. It takes fewer years (and debt) than social working degree, and has less physical requirements than the police academy. I'll be working directly with the mentally ill and the homeless, plus victims of violent crime. Empathy and faith in the possibilities of our country are what inspired me :)

And you know I love you too, Ug :)
 
Wow, same reasons I am not rich jrturner. You care about others over yourself. People like us don't get rich in wealth, we get rich in experiences.
Personal growth is worth a million dollars. Wonderful post!♥️
Hey thanks! Doesn't it make it SO hard to understand people who see others as cogs or commodities? Once you know the joy and suffering of each human being, it's hard to think of them as anything less than a full-blooded person.

(((HUGS))) for what you went through too :)
 
I've made plenty of stupid choices in my sixty-six years, many of which ended up costing me a fortune.

-I married a woman who I thought loved me just because she steered me to a life altering stroke of good luck.
She was just doing what she was good at, connecting people and projects with talent.
She found me attractive and the feeling was mutual but she had way too much psychological and emotional baggage from an abusive first marriage, and serious substance issues, all of which I blithely ignored because the little head took over from the big head. In the end I destroyed several key friendships because I had my rose colored glasses on and I made the stupid choice of trying her favorite poison, cocaine.
I became an addict, costing me another fortune. Again, not her fault, my stupidity and my choice. I could have dated her and then moved on but instead I was in for a penny and in for a pound and boy did it ever cost me "pounds". It was a failed marriage from the start but the bliss of pleasure masked it for the first couple of years, and then the mask dropped.
I hurt a lot of people who cared about me, and I doubt I'll ever be able to repair some of the damage.

-I made stupid choices when offered an entry into a second trade union, (IATSE 600- Camera Dept) thinking I didn't need to be in TWO of them. (IATSE 700-Editorial)
I should have joined 600 and kept my 700 both instead of staying exclusive with 700.

-I "ignored" critical industry tech trends, thinking I could nail together a lasting top of the line approach with legacy technology...I'd get around to modernizing someday...yeah right.
The winds of change happened so fast that I ended up overinvested and when major change came, I was stuck in the past and when an earthquake wiped out most of what I had, it was ultimately worthless anyway.
Of course that FORCED me to adapt or die an analog dinosaur but I wouldn't have lost so much if I had adapted earlier and with more deliberation toward the future.
I was shocked at how quickly the bottom dropped out of my chosen tech platform and how fast it moved toward the new trends.

-I did not try to convince my new love to move out here to the West Coast, thinking the better choice was to start over where she was instead.
It was a miracle that she even chose to allow me into her life, a beat up, broke and newly sober man with little to no resources to speak of anymore, and I thought it was a sign to leave everything behind and start over in the Deep South, when the wiser choice would have been to start over where I had my roots, both in terms of connections and culturally.
We did okay but we could have done so much better out here, with my chosen line of work, bought into housing when it was still relatively affordable and by now we'd be all paid off and in a much better position.
We do okay now but I'm thinking we'd be in a much better position, plus our children wouldn't have been victim of a substandard education, which we corrected, but at great cost.

----So in the end I have been wealthy, in fact so wealthy I became victim of my own hubris and I lost much of what I could be sitting on right now in the years of my dotage.
I'm not poor but I can see where a few more stupid mistakes like the ones I made in the past could leave me penniless, so I try not to be so arrogant now.

The thread itself is about wealth, so I will spare you all the reams of other stupid mistakes I've made outside of the financial ones.
I can only say that maybe I have "learned the hard way" but like most sixty-six year olds I realize that there's less chance of my coming into the strokes of good luck that I had in my youth.
Too soon old, too late smart, as the Amish are known to say.

And as possible proof of that maxim, the advice I've given to a few close friends and younger family members paid off big time for them, just as they would have for me if I had given myself that kind of advice in my younger days and paid heed to it. Three close young friends and one nephew are now enjoying a new journey in what used to be my own profession and they are rapidly skyrocketing to an exciting path along the way.
I'm thrilled to see good luck smiling on them and I know now that there are times when one needs to listen more carefully.
I've enjoyed plenty of success in my forty years in the business but it still feels like I ran the race with the parking brake on. I could have done so much better!
 
At 49, I chose to end my bad marriage. My youngest, the one I was most worried about, said, "It's about time!" I gave my ex too many "chances" to get his rage under control. Considering my history with abuse, self-esteem was a long-term issue.

My mom waited too long to leave a violent, cowardly, and often insane man. I took my share of bloody beatdowns from the man myself until I stood up to him one day with a pipe I kept in my room.

I took off and ended up running and living on the streets of Dorchester in Boston.

Well, he ended up blowing her away with a shotgun to the chest point blank out on our front porch one evening. I didn't know about it till days later when I found out that our relatives back in Maine came down and took all my brothers and sisters back up north.

Never ever let yourself be subjugated by to another POS again because It not only affects you, but all the people who really do care about you as well.

I was well into my late twenties before I actually got over it. I never trusted anyone, and I didn't give a shit about my own actions.

The US Navy saved my life by putting up with me in my early years.......... when they should have booted my ass.

Best Of Luck to you JRT!

Fair Winds!
 
My mom waited too long to leave a violent, cowardly, and often insane man. I took my share of bloody beatdowns from the man myself until I stood up to him one day with a pipe I kept in my room.

I took off and ended up running and living on the streets of Dorchester in Boston.

Well, he ended up blowing her away with a shotgun to the chest point blank out on our front porch one evening. I didn't know about it till days later when I found out that our relatives back in Maine came down and took all my brothers and sisters back up north.

Never ever let yourself be subjugated by to another POS again because It not only affects you, but all the people who really do care about you as well.

I was well into my late twenties before I actually got over it. I never trusted anyone, and I didn't give a shit about my own actions.

The US Navy saved my life by putting up with me in my early years.......... when they should have booted my ass.

Best Of Luck to you JRT!

Fair Winds!
You too are a survivor. Bless you.
 
I've made plenty of stupid choices in my sixty-six years, many of which ended up costing me a fortune.

-I married a woman who I thought loved me just because she steered me to a life altering stroke of good luck.
She was just doing what she was good at, connecting people and projects with talent.
She found me attractive and the feeling was mutual but she had way too much psychological and emotional baggage from an abusive first marriage, and serious substance issues, all of which I blithely ignored because the little head took over from the big head. In the end I destroyed several key friendships because I had my rose colored glasses on and I made the stupid choice of trying her favorite poison, cocaine.
I became an addict, costing me another fortune. Again, not her fault, my stupidity and my choice. I could have dated her and then moved on but instead I was in for a penny and in for a pound and boy did it ever cost me "pounds". It was a failed marriage from the start but the bliss of pleasure masked it for the first couple of years, and then the mask dropped.
I hurt a lot of people who cared about me, and I doubt I'll ever be able to repair some of the damage.

-I made stupid choices when offered an entry into a second trade union, (IATSE 600- Camera Dept) thinking I didn't need to be in TWO of them. (IATSE 700-Editorial)
I should have joined 600 and kept my 700 both instead of staying exclusive with 700.

-I "ignored" critical industry tech trends, thinking I could nail together a lasting top of the line approach with legacy technology...I'd get around to modernizing someday...yeah right.
The winds of change happened so fast that I ended up overinvested and when major change came, I was stuck in the past and when an earthquake wiped out most of what I had, it was ultimately worthless anyway.
Of course that FORCED me to adapt or die an analog dinosaur but I wouldn't have lost so much if I had adapted earlier and with more deliberation toward the future.
I was shocked at how quickly the bottom dropped out of my chosen tech platform and how fast it moved toward the new trends.

-I did not try to convince my new love to move out here to the West Coast, thinking the better choice was to start over where she was instead.
It was a miracle that she even chose to allow me into her life, a beat up, broke and newly sober man with little to no resources to speak of anymore, and I thought it was a sign to leave everything behind and start over in the Deep South, when the wiser choice would have been to start over where I had my roots, both in terms of connections and culturally.
We did okay but we could have done so much better out here, with my chosen line of work, bought into housing when it was still relatively affordable and by now we'd be all paid off and in a much better position.
We do okay now but I'm thinking we'd be in a much better position, plus our children wouldn't have been victim of a substandard education, which we corrected, but at great cost.

----So in the end I have been wealthy, in fact so wealthy I became victim of my own hubris and I lost much of what I could be sitting on right now in the years of my dotage.
I'm not poor but I can see where a few more stupid mistakes like the ones I made in the past could leave me penniless, so I try not to be so arrogant now.

The thread itself is about wealth, so I will spare you all the reams of other stupid mistakes I've made outside of the financial ones.
I can only say that maybe I have "learned the hard way" but like most sixty-six year olds I realize that there's less chance of my coming into the strokes of good luck that I had in my youth.
Too soon old, too late smart, as the Amish are known to say.

And as possible proof of that maxim, the advice I've given to a few close friends and younger family members paid off big time for them, just as they would have for me if I had given myself that kind of advice in my younger days and paid heed to it. Three close young friends and one nephew are now enjoying a new journey in what used to be my own profession and they are rapidly skyrocketing to an exciting path along the way.
I'm thrilled to see good luck smiling on them and I know now that there are times when one needs to listen more carefully.
I've enjoyed plenty of success in my forty years in the business but it still feels like I ran the race with the parking brake on. I could have done so much better!
We are the same age! Thanks for sharing this, I can so identify with the last sentence of your post, but I sabotaged myself more than once along the way. I avoided the cocaine trap when a close friend traded her Corvette for an ounce of Coke. BIG wake up call. Your story is very inspiring, so glad you ended up right-side-up!
 
There seems to be a host of things that I have said that have given the impression that I'm in my situation because of bad choices. I think that takes a little clarification and rather than do that anywhere else, I figured this would be a good spot. That way, only those who care to know, can check it out :)

Born to drug addicts in the 70s. Raised myself until I went homeless at 16 when I ran away from home after being sexually exploited, raped, beaten, molested, while being passed between family members.

At 17, I was working and began dating the only man close to my age I knew who had a job. I applied for college, but was told my parents had to sign everything because I was underage, even though I had already graduated.

My biggest mistake:
3 years later we were married and I had my first kid. We had 2 more children together over the next 9 years. I raised them in a series of churches (changing when we moved) to avoid giving them the life I had.

When my oldest hit 11, I applied for college. My ex was a bastard, and my 11 yr.old tried to kill himself. I dropped college to take care of him.

I excelled in certain jobs after the kids reached school age. Became a manager in every job I held--in one case, Executive Director.

Between 2010 and 2018--everyone in my family died (aside from one elderly aunt) and my best friend. I was overwhelmed with the duties of burying them all--as I am the only one in my generation since none of the aunts and uncles had kids.

At 49, I chose to end my bad marriage. My youngest, the one I was most worried about, said, "It's about time!" I gave my ex too many "chances" to get his rage under control. Considering my history with abuse, self-esteem was a long-term issue.

I took a year to get counseling and sort out the issues from that marriage. I chose to leave Wisconsin and relocate to Washington where my children live.

At 50, I enrolled in college--finally realizing a lifelong dream.

I chose not to be a manager as I understand the 40+ hours that takes from previous experience and want to focus on studies. I could 'rough' it for the years needed to get my degree because I've been in worse and lived on less. Plus, I don't have the same energy as I did at 20.

So there we have it, how at 51 one can end up in college and not be wealthy. I believe it's probably lingering self-esteem issues that prompted this post. I shouldn't care that the reputation I have here could be tarnished by those who see people based on the content of their bank accounts and not on their character. I shouldn't--but I do because aside from this forum, I have no other social media presence. I'm not on Facebook anymore, Twitter, or anywhere else. I have no family (aside from my kids) or friends because of relocating.

This is it for me--and I appreciate the wonderful and warm welcome many others have given me. Thank you for that--it is appreciated!
I had none of the hardships you lived through and I'm not rich either
 
There seems to be a host of things that I have said that have given the impression that I'm in my situation because of bad choices. I think that takes a little clarification and rather than do that anywhere else, I figured this would be a good spot. That way, only those who care to know, can check it out :)

Born to drug addicts in the 70s. Raised myself until I went homeless at 16 when I ran away from home after being sexually exploited, raped, beaten, molested, while being passed between family members.

At 17, I was working and began dating the only man close to my age I knew who had a job. I applied for college, but was told my parents had to sign everything because I was underage, even though I had already graduated.

My biggest mistake:
3 years later we were married and I had my first kid. We had 2 more children together over the next 9 years. I raised them in a series of churches (changing when we moved) to avoid giving them the life I had.

When my oldest hit 11, I applied for college. My ex was a bastard, and my 11 yr.old tried to kill himself. I dropped college to take care of him.

I excelled in certain jobs after the kids reached school age. Became a manager in every job I held--in one case, Executive Director.

Between 2010 and 2018--everyone in my family died (aside from one elderly aunt) and my best friend. I was overwhelmed with the duties of burying them all--as I am the only one in my generation since none of the aunts and uncles had kids.

At 49, I chose to end my bad marriage. My youngest, the one I was most worried about, said, "It's about time!" I gave my ex too many "chances" to get his rage under control. Considering my history with abuse, self-esteem was a long-term issue.

I took a year to get counseling and sort out the issues from that marriage. I chose to leave Wisconsin and relocate to Washington where my children live.

At 50, I enrolled in college--finally realizing a lifelong dream.

I chose not to be a manager as I understand the 40+ hours that takes from previous experience and want to focus on studies. I could 'rough' it for the years needed to get my degree because I've been in worse and lived on less. Plus, I don't have the same energy as I did at 20.

So there we have it, how at 51 one can end up in college and not be wealthy. I believe it's probably lingering self-esteem issues that prompted this post. I shouldn't care that the reputation I have here could be tarnished by those who see people based on the content of their bank accounts and not on their character. I shouldn't--but I do because aside from this forum, I have no other social media presence. I'm not on Facebook anymore, Twitter, or anywhere else. I have no family (aside from my kids) or friends because of relocating.

This is it for me--and I appreciate the wonderful and warm welcome many others have given me. Thank you for that--it is appreciated!
You have the kind of wealth some people dream of


Resilience
 
We are the same age! Thanks for sharing this, I can so identify with the last sentence of your post, but I sabotaged myself more than once along the way. I avoided the cocaine trap when a close friend traded her Corvette for an ounce of Coke. BIG wake up call. Your story is very inspiring, so glad you ended up right-side-up!

The only reason I did land right-side up:

Karen collage 5784a.jpg
 
Hey thanks! Doesn't it make it SO hard to understand people who see others as cogs or commodities? Once you know the joy and suffering of each human being, it's hard to think of them as anything less than a full-blooded person.

(((HUGS))) for what you went through too :)
You are a much better person than I could ever be, you have the absolute compassion to do a very difficult job. I'm old and jaded and sometimes cranky, and prefer the company of animals to humans. You have much to give to humans, and for that I applaud you!

GET that degree, girl! You will do well and go far, and maybe, just maybe you will find yourself wealthy in ways you never imagined!
 
I think you’ve actually done well despite a tough start in life. I know many people who’ve squandered the opportunities you’ve had to fight hard for.
My ex turned down free college his parents offered him. I was shocked. We were comparing 'abuse' stories when we were first together. His was that they went to a water park before hitting the mall--then went ice skating. He said it was abusive to have children in wet clothes ice skating. Yeah--poor him. :)

Thank you for the compliment though! I'm working hard to make my kids proud :)
 
I've made plenty of stupid choices in my sixty-six years, many of which ended up costing me a fortune.

-I made stupid choices when offered an entry into a second trade union, (IATSE 600- Camera Dept) thinking I didn't need to be in TWO of them. (IATSE 700-Editorial)
I should have joined 600 and kept my 700 both instead of staying exclusive with 700.

-I "ignored" critical industry tech trends, thinking I could nail together a lasting top of the line approach with legacy technology...I'd get around to modernizing someday...yeah right.
The winds of change happened so fast that I ended up overinvested and when major change came, I was stuck in the past and when an earthquake wiped out most of what I had, it was ultimately worthless anyway.
Of course that FORCED me to adapt or die an analog dinosaur but I wouldn't have lost so much if I had adapted earlier and with more deliberation toward the future.
I was shocked at how quickly the bottom dropped out of my chosen tech platform and how fast it moved toward the new trends.

-I did not try to convince my new love to move out here to the West Coast, thinking the better choice was to start over where she was instead.
It was a miracle that she even chose to allow me into her life, a beat up, broke and newly sober man with little to no resources to speak of anymore, and I thought it was a sign to leave everything behind and start over in the Deep South, when the wiser choice would have been to start over where I had my roots, both in terms of connections and culturally.
We did okay but we could have done so much better out here, with my chosen line of work, bought into housing when it was still relatively affordable and by now we'd be all paid off and in a much better position.
We do okay now but I'm thinking we'd be in a much better position, plus our children wouldn't have been victim of a substandard education, which we corrected, but at great cost.

----So in the end I have been wealthy, in fact so wealthy I became victim of my own hubris and I lost much of what I could be sitting on right now in the years of my dotage.
I'm not poor but I can see where a few more stupid mistakes like the ones I made in the past could leave me penniless, so I try not to be so arrogant now.

The thread itself is about wealth, so I will spare you all the reams of other stupid mistakes I've made outside of the financial ones.
I can only say that maybe I have "learned the hard way" but like most sixty-six year olds I realize that there's less chance of my coming into the strokes of good luck that I had in my youth.
Too soon old, too late smart, as the Amish are known to say.

And as possible proof of that maxim, the advice I've given to a few close friends and younger family members paid off big time for them, just as they would have for me if I had given myself that kind of advice in my younger days and paid heed to it. Three close young friends and one nephew are now enjoying a new journey in what used to be my own profession and they are rapidly skyrocketing to an exciting path along the way.
I'm thrilled to see good luck smiling on them and I know now that there are times when one needs to listen more carefully.
I've enjoyed plenty of success in my forty years in the business but it still feels like I ran the race with the parking brake on. I could have done so much better!
Amazing how our second time around in life can be so much more rewarding. I think I've learned to appreciate things a lot more because of my past. For instance, I don't take food, clothing, and shelter for granted and I know when I'm lucky to have them! :)

I'm sorry you went through what you did. I was truly blessed to avoid drug addiction. By all rights I should be hooked on something. My mother taught me to smoke a pipe at 7 years old "for medicinal purposes" and I was a cigarette smoker and drinker by 11. Inner city Milwaukee was full of us "punks" as we were called back then. So I escaped that, but I give you huge KUDOS for beating your addiction and learning to love someone very special to you :)

Thank you for the great reply. There are so many just regular folks who do their best in our nation. I wish more could recognize this :)
 
Amazing how our second time around in life can be so much more rewarding. I think I've learned to appreciate things a lot more because of my past. For instance, I don't take food, clothing, and shelter for granted and I know when I'm lucky to have them! :)

I'm sorry you went through what you did. I was truly blessed to avoid drug addiction. By all rights I should be hooked on something. My mother taught me to smoke a pipe at 7 years old "for medicinal purposes" and I was a cigarette smoker and drinker by 11. Inner city Milwaukee was full of us "punks" as we were called back then. So I escaped that, but I give you huge KUDOS for beating your addiction and learning to love someone very special to you :)

Thank you for the great reply. There are so many just regular folks who do their best in our nation. I wish more could recognize this :)
Baby, you will ROCK in your chosen field, you exude everything it takes to be super successful! YOU GO, GIRL!!!! Anyone who doesn't love you doesn't deserve you. Lots of us here love you!
 
My mom waited too long to leave a violent, cowardly, and often insane man. I took my share of bloody beatdowns from the man myself until I stood up to him one day with a pipe I kept in my room.

I took off and ended up running and living on the streets of Dorchester in Boston.

Well, he ended up blowing her away with a shotgun to the chest point blank out on our front porch one evening. I didn't know about it till days later when I found out that our relatives back in Maine came down and took all my brothers and sisters back up north.

Never ever let yourself be subjugated by to another POS again because It not only affects you, but all the people who really do care about you as well.

I was well into my late twenties before I actually got over it. I never trusted anyone, and I didn't give a shit about my own actions.

The US Navy saved my life by putting up with me in my early years.......... when they should have booted my ass.

Best Of Luck to you JRT!

Fair Winds!
I'm so sorry! Gosh that must have been awful. My dad was like that too. Violent on coke and alcohol, paranoid on every thing else. I was about 12, had just been sent to live with him for the first time, and answered the phone when I was home alone. I took a message for my dad. When I told him, he punched me in the ear and laid me flat. I had made the mistake of acknowledging he lived there. That was the first of a lot of those days--with him. In ways, my mom was worse, she just didn't hit as hard.

But I'm glad you went away and I'm glad you were able to find a new family :) It's important to find people to love and love you back. That's pretty much the point of life--love :)

Thank you for the good wishes and I wish you the best as well!! :)
 
I had none of the hardships you lived through and I'm not rich either
Every life has its own obstacles. You've made it through more than you give yourself credit for--and I'm sure you've grown a lot of wisdom from that as well :)

All that matters is that you find your own happiness. My mother lived as a squatter with no running water, but she had internet and electricity and she would not leave, no matter how many options people gave her. She loved being out in the boonies on her own, able to hoard animals no one wanted and do her thing. So don't knock what you do if it's true to you :) Thank you for reading and replying :)
 
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