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Why aren't women happy???

I think a lot of us who have careers grew up in homes with SAH moms. And I've realized that my mom's home sets a standard of perfection that mine is never going to attain, because she was there full-time. Hell, my house would be twice as clean if I only worked 4 days a week. But, I have (really) 2 days a week to clean, fix things, do the yardwork, etc. If I do one of those things, the other two get dropped or done less well. I do mow the yard every week, we vacuum the entire house once a week, I sweep/mop once a week, and we do dishes daily. The kids have assigned house-cleaning chores. Even so, there are a lot of days when I come home from work and have to go automatically into drill sergeant mode because I live with two teenagers, 4 cats, a dog and a bunny.

They make messes. :shrug:

.

The teens will grow up and move out of the house, but they won't take their animals with them....been there, done that.
 
The teens will grow up and move out of the house, but they won't take their animals with them....been there, done that.

The dog is 2. I figure 5-6 more years. The bunny will be gone in 3-4 years. One of the cats is 13. That leaves 3 cats, and I suspect I can dump at least one of them on one of the kids.
 
Whats the point of this thread? If women arent happy they should look at their lives? Are you living for your husband or is he living ko keep you happy if it's the second one then thats why your unhappy. A womans place is in the home and if she is unhappy with where she is she should redecorate or take the kids out for a walk nstead of getting fat watching oprah and not cleaning. We gave them the right to vote and the right to work and theright to free speech and if their not happy they should ask their husband or god for guidance.


and then one day you might grow up and decide that you actually wish to form a lasting relationship with a woman.
 
My wife is also caught between wanting to work (she likes having nice things) and wanting to be the perfect mom. Ultimately, in both cases, she holds herself up to an unrealistic ideal of working and being a mom. My mother did that as well, now that I think about it. However, in both cases, they could be happy very easily if they leave stuff alone, but they let guilt eat at them for not being perfect.

One problem my wife has is that she does not let reality be imperfect. The house must be spotless at all times, she must make lots of money, she must be awesome with me in bed, she must be the perfect mom, she must be the perfect friend to her friends, etc. I try to help her understand that often a lot of these things can be achieved when you aren't looking or when you relax and you have a full set of creative and physical energy, but when you are tired, even small tasks can become monumental. She hasn't come to the same conclusion about that as I have though.

My mother, though I love her dearly, suffers from a similar problem. The whole time growing up, the house had to be spotless. ALWAYS. She was ALWAYS cleaning, and usually so were we. She was never satisfied with the cleanliness of the house. And she had to be the best cook, the best wife, the best employee at her job, the best friend to all of her friends. And if we ever complained about anything - even if it wasn't even remotely related to her at all - she somehow made it "her fault". She would apologize, swear to work harder to "make us happy". Anything went wrong, it was HER fault (according to her). And she would just blow up.

She always had to be the martyr, and never let you forget it either. She is still like that to this day, though she's better now than she used to be. I try and tell her that the world doesn't revolve around her, so everything that goes wrong isn't her doing. LOL But, I don't think she ever will completely get it.
 
and then one day you might grow up and decide that you actually wish to form a lasting relationship with a woman.
Some men think that "lasting relationship" means more than just a quickie....:2razz:
 
My mother, though I love her dearly, suffers from a similar problem. The whole time growing up, the house had to be spotless. ALWAYS. She was ALWAYS cleaning, and usually so were we. She was never satisfied with the cleanliness of the house. And she had to be the best cook, the best wife, the best employee at her job, the best friend to all of her friends. And if we ever complained about anything - even if it wasn't even remotely related to her at all - she somehow made it "her fault". She would apologize, swear to work harder to "make us happy". Anything went wrong, it was HER fault (according to her). And she would just blow up.

She always had to be the martyr, and never let you forget it either. She is still like that to this day, though she's better now than she used to be. I try and tell her that the world doesn't revolve around her, so everything that goes wrong isn't her doing. LOL But, I don't think she ever will completely get it.
Funny, with my mother, everything was MY fault. It was my turn, I guess. There had to be a reason the 3 siblings ahead of me all bailed at 17, all of them quitting school as well.
 
Funny, with my mother, everything was MY fault. It was my turn, I guess. There had to be a reason the 3 siblings ahead of me all bailed at 17, all of them quitting school as well.

LOL I think she had that with HER mother, which is why she bailed at 17 and had me.

With her though, it could be something as simple as putting salt on your dinner. She'd see you put salt on something and then ask, "Did I not put enough salt on it? I'm so sorry, I guess I just can't do any goddamn thing right. I'm perfectly useless." Now, mind you... she would repond that poorly when she was "in a mood", not 100% of the time. Sometimes, she would just apologize for not salting the food enough and leave it at that. But when she was "in a mood", the world would come crashing down.
 
My mother, though I love her dearly, suffers from a similar problem. The whole time growing up, the house had to be spotless. ALWAYS. She was ALWAYS cleaning, and usually so were we. She was never satisfied with the cleanliness of the house. And she had to be the best cook, the best wife, the best employee at her job, the best friend to all of her friends. And if we ever complained about anything - even if it wasn't even remotely related to her at all - she somehow made it "her fault". She would apologize, swear to work harder to "make us happy". Anything went wrong, it was HER fault (according to her). And she would just blow up.

She always had to be the martyr, and never let you forget it either. She is still like that to this day, though she's better now than she used to be. I try and tell her that the world doesn't revolve around her, so everything that goes wrong isn't her doing. LOL But, I don't think she ever will completely get it.

My wife doesn't try to be a martyr. She wants these things because thats what she wants out of life. Its for her and not others.

Per the salt example, if I put salt in, she doesn't care. However, if she trips on a toy (or God forbid, my steel toed shoes), she gets mad at herself because she should have gotten to it. She doesn't make a show of it and often I had to dig to find out whats bothering her.
 
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LOL I think she had that with HER mother, which is why she bailed at 17 and had me.

With her though, it could be something as simple as putting salt on your dinner. She'd see you put salt on something and then ask, "Did I not put enough salt on it? I'm so sorry, I guess I just can't do any goddamn thing right. I'm perfectly useless." Now, mind you... she would repond that poorly when she was "in a mood", not 100% of the time. Sometimes, she would just apologize for not salting the food enough and leave it at that. But when she was "in a mood", the world would come crashing down.
I hear that it is an insult to the cook to season your food before tasting it, maybe that is what she was saying, in her own way.
I am the only one from my family to move far, far away from mommy dearest. The others stayed close by, but only half her children attended her funeral, and no friends, because she had no friends. In her defense, she had a very hard life growing up, and couldn't go a day without letting it affect her in some way. She was suicidal as well....attempted at least twice that I know of.
You can't help others who enjoy wallowing in self pity. Let them do their thing, and keep your distance...
As for happiness, some people should go spend a few months volunteering in a third world country. That might change their perspectives on what happiness is...
 
I hear that it is an insult to the cook to season your food before tasting it, maybe that is what she was saying, in her own way.
No no, it didn't matter if you did it before or after tasting it. The fact that it wasn't PERFECT was the issue. You never ever EVER tell my mom that you don't like something she did or imply that it is in some way, less than perfect.

I am the only one from my family to move far, far away from mommy dearest. The others stayed close by, but only half her children attended her funeral, and no friends, because she had no friends. In her defense, she had a very hard life growing up, and couldn't go a day without letting it affect her in some way. She was suicidal as well....attempted at least twice that I know of.
You can't help others who enjoy wallowing in self pity. Let them do their thing, and keep your distance...
Yeah. She's gotten easier to deal with, but she can still be quite difficult. Now she has a disorder that keeps her in chronic pain, though, so I'm surprised she even gets out of bed. I don't know if I would.

As for happiness, some people should go spend a few months volunteering in a third world country. That might change their perspectives on what happiness is...
Happiness is truly what YOU make it. People are unhappy because they look to others to make them happy and that just leads to constant disappointment.
 
Ask their husband? Lots of husbands out there are dumber than dirt, inconsiderate, uncouth, selfish, and so on.

I think all marriages are a bit of a trade-off. What with the bulk of us being human n'all; nobody is perfect. I think when we start looking critically at our life partner, we're on a bad slope. My husband wasn't perfect, and of course I wasn't either. But we made each other laugh a LOT, and hugs were an important part of our day.

Love changes over time. Sometimes you just love them, sometimes you are IN love with them. As long as you're not planning their imminent demise, life is good. :)
 
My house is spotless for 3 days a week. The other 4 days, not so much.

houseclean.jpg


My new favorite sign.
 
The whole time growing up, the house had to be spotless.

Same; from my dad's perspective. My mom was pretty "could give a ****" but she trained us to be her little army of cleaners (four girls). My sister told me that one time my dad pulled that "checking the top of the door frame, white glove" **** test. - Seriously. The tallest of us is 5'2". - Anyway, when he left, apparently mom's jaw just dropped and she primal screamed for quite some time. Senja called Pastor Farina, who of course informed my mother that she hadn't been spending enough time in Bible reading and prayer.

Asshat.
 
I think all marriages are a bit of a trade-off. What with the bulk of us being human n'all; nobody is perfect. I think when we start looking critically at our life partner, we're on a bad slope. My husband wasn't perfect, and of course I wasn't either. But we made each other laugh a LOT, and hugs were an important part of our day.

Love changes over time. Sometimes you just love them, sometimes you are IN love with them. As long as you're not planning their imminent demise, life is good. :)

It has to look like an accident, or there is no insurance payout....
 
It has to look like an accident, or there is no insurance payout....

The closest Tim ever got to his life being in danger is that if he died I'd on me? I would bring him back just so I could kill him again.

The nerve.
 
:cone: :attn1: :popcorn2: :attn1: :cone:
 
Oh, look; I see your wife is your avatar. Too cute!

Meow! Unwittingly perpetuating the stereotype of women as bitter and bitchy. Specifically insulting a fine caring woman you know nothing about as well. Congrats!

I used to love her, but I had to kill her
I used to love her, but I had to kill her
She bitched so much
She drove me nuts
And now I'm happier this way

I dont blame U Axl.
 
Meow! Unwittingly perpetuating the stereotype of women as bitter and bitchy. Specifically insulting a fine caring woman you know nothing about as well. Congrats!



I dont blame U Axl.

See? You can't have it both ways. Do you have a fine caring woman that you want to kill? Because she bitches so much? Sucks to be you.
 
I wonder why a fine caring woman would bitch so much. Is it possible she married a jackass?

That happened to me once. These days, I rarely bitch. Except, once in a blue moon, at him, for failing to pay for his share of the kids' expenses.

If, however, he did what he was legally committed to do, I can guarantee, with 100% certainty, that I would NEVER bitch at him because I want as little to do with him as possible.
 
See? You can't have it both ways. Do you have a fine caring woman that you want to kill? Because she bitches so much? Sucks to be you.

I dont want to kill her...Im quoting a song hun. The premise of this thread is that women bitch regardless of lifes blessings. My wife bitches yet she is caring and compassionate..shes an RN. Im sure you bitch,doesnt make you a bad person. Attacking an uninvolved third party in a debate makes you a bit petty however. All men are pigs....this is fact. All women bitch....this is a fact.

It is in fact great to be me. I have nothing to bitch about. Ive also learned it does little to solve issues. The same Im sure cannot be said about you or your sisters in arms.
 
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