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Why aren't women happy???

Bodhisattva

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What is the deal? Women today are getting all of the choices that their mothers fought for...so why are women tending to be less happy and men are becoming happier?

"As the ERA woke women up, I remember that initial thrill of empowerment sweeping over us," she said. "But Shannon's generation has had to face all the implications we didn't fully anticipate, and I see how incredibly hard it can be. I don't know anybody who would want to go back to the way it was, but I think those high expectations are taking a toll on women's happiness."

The Happiness Quotient / Do high expectations and a plethora of choices make modern women miserable?

"Perhaps the most persuasive explanation for the happiness gap echoes Lisa Boucher's observation: Having choices means that women actually must choose. "

"I want to preface this by saying that you're catching me on a really crazed week. I know I'm lucky to have a beautiful, happy kid; a great job; a great husband who pitches in," she acknowledges. "But here's where I am right at this moment: Last night I just turned to him and said, 'You know what, I'm not happy in my life.

" 'I've lost my joy.' "


The Happiness Quotient / Do high expectations and a plethora of choices make modern women miserable?

Why is this?
Why is the more and more common?
Why Aren't Women Happy?

I hear more and more of this...

Having watched her own parents divorce when she was 13, forcing her homemaker mother to get a job, Boucher vowed that she would never be felled by a similar fate. "I swore that I would never depend on any man, that I would establish my own successful career, that I wouldn't let anybody into my life that much," she says. "But now I have somebody to share my life with, and what I really want most is to be able to stay home and spend time with my daughter.

"So we women broke out of the little boxes that defined us, and now it seems like everybody's trying to get back in there. I'm trying to get back in."


It is sad. I am not sure why society feels that it has to "evolve" into something...does it? Where are we going? What are we leaving behind? Who benifits? Who is being hurt.
 

rivrrat

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Easiest question ever. Why aren't women happy?

Men.
 

rathi

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Measuring "happiness" through a study is a joke. Other than "are you feeling happy at this particular moment", the data is probably random enough to be worthless. The most likely factor in answering the question is if anything positive or negative happened to them recently.
 

WI Crippler

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I've actually thought about this in regards to my own wife. She has a career whereby she would not have to depend on me for anything if something were to happen to us, two beautiful healthy boys, a husband that does quite a bit of work both inside and outside the house and yet she still finds something to complain about every single day.

Despite her professional career she has often stated she would be much happier if she could just stay home and have me bring in all the money. I've done the stay at home parent thing myself for a couple of years before I got back into school, and I can somewhat sympathize with what stay at home moms throughout history have had to deal with at home during the day. I have a high amount of admiration for what "career" stay at home moms have had to do, and I think that part of the reason for women breaking down the barriers to go out and work might have been due to the fact that many men didn't appreciate it the way they should have.
 

Harry Guerrilla

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I've actually thought about this in regards to my own wife. She has a career whereby she would not have to depend on me for anything if something were to happen to us, two beautiful healthy boys, a husband that does quite a bit of work both inside and outside the house and yet she still finds something to complain about every single day.

Despite her professional career she has often stated she would be much happier if she could just stay home and have me bring in all the money. I've done the stay at home parent thing myself for a couple of years before I got back into school, and I can somewhat sympathize with what stay at home moms throughout history have had to deal with at home during the day. I have a high amount of admiration for what "career" stay at home moms have had to do, and I think that part of the reason for women breaking down the barriers to go out and work might have been due to the fact that many men didn't appreciate it the way they should have.
All I'm gonna say, that even if she were a stay at home mom, she would most likely find other things to complain about.
Not trying to be a dick but speaking from experience.
 

Redress

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Having options does not always mean that those options are appealing. Further, the option to be a stay at home mom is less an option than it used to be, with many/most families requiring a second income.
 

The Mark

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Probably depends on the specific situation and woman in question.

Some would probably be happiest as a homemaker.

Some would probably be happiest as a moneymaker/non-homemaker.

Some would be happiest single, some married, and some living with someone...

So many variables.
 

The Mark

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All I'm gonna say, that even if she were a stay at home mom, she would most likely find other things to complain about.
Not trying to be a dick but speaking from experience.
Most (if not all) people like to complain about something, even if their life is epically great.

So yeah, probably.
 

Harry Guerrilla

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Most (if not all) people like to complain about something, even if their life is epically great.

So yeah, probably.
Pretty much.

I've been out of work for about a month, by choice.
I'm stir crazy right now, longing to get back to work Monday.

When I get to work, after about 2-4 hours, I'll be ready to go home.
 

samsmart

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It is very disingenuous to say that all women want the same thing.

Some women prefer to be career women. Others prefer to be stay-at-home mothers.

And I, for one, think that when one says they'd rather be the other, I think it's not because they really would rather be the other but instead it's a case of "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence."

I would like to say on the topic, however, they real feminists don't really want to force women to be career gals. Instead, they want to ensure that women can choose to be a career gal if they so desire. I think real feminists have just as much respect for stay-at-home mothers as they do for career women. It's just that women should choose for themselves which path to follow, and shouldn't have one forced upon them just because of their gender.
 

Orion

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A lot of modern women are pulling double duty now. They didn't break free of the domestic role. Instead they are now the 9-5 workers plus the domestic caretakers while a lot of men continue to coast along. So yeah, makes sense that men would be more happy... not only do they have a maid at home, but she also nets half the income which makes his life easier.

I don't think people in general are happier now than they were 30 years ago. The demands of modern life are more stressful than ever and it's becoming cost prohibitive for many to have a healthy family setup.
 

kaya'08

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I have a theory. Men like it when women are sad. Hence why men are becoming happier as women become sadder. :)
 

Bodhisattva

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Having options does not always mean that those options are appealing. Further, the option to be a stay at home mom is less an option than it used to be, with many/most families requiring a second income.
The whole notion of needing a second income is societies own fault, for trying to keep up with the Jones's. We did just fine with one income, to be honest. Justa teachers income too. I would suggest that if everybody just chilled out and spent less and kept within their means, they would not need a second income. "Needing" a second income is more a psychological want than a physical need.

Rathi
Measuring "happiness" through a study is a joke. Other than "are you feeling happy at this particular moment", the data is probably random enough to be worthless. The most likely factor in answering the question is if anything positive or negative happened to them recently.

IF you make a study that asks people how they feel about being happy, they respond appropriately, then.... how is it a joke? I can tell you with accuracy and honesty if my last year, two years or ten years were happy or not depending on what happened in my life and it has nothing to do with this particular moment. Sorry bud... ain't no joke.
 

Catz Part Deux

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What is the deal? Women today are getting all of the choices that their mothers fought for...so why are women tending to be less happy and men are becoming happier?

It is sad. I am not sure why society feels that it has to "evolve" into something...does it? Where are we going? What are we leaving behind? Who benifits? Who is being hurt.
I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I would say that I love my life. I love my independence, I love the type of work I do, I love being a mom. Having said that, the fact that my life is so full sometimes means tough choices. That's not easy. But I tend to think that people today are less happy than they used to be, and part of it is that we have a culture of entitlement. I don't think that my parents EXPECTED to be completely happy and fulfilled all the time. My dad did the work he did because it paid well and it allowed him to take care of his family. I guess that they raised me to have reasonable expectations about my life, and I do.

I remember when my daughter was 6 weeks old, and I was boo-hooing to my mom about having to go back to work, and when I say I HAD to go back to work, I did. I was the primary breadwinner. And, my ex-husband was completely unreliable. I was whining about wanting to be a mom, and not wanting to go back to work, and my mom said, "Real moms do what they need to do to take care of their families. ANd in your case, what you have to do is work. So, suck it up."

I did, I always have, and I've learned to be okay with that choice. Of course, as a single mom, there aren't a lot of people who can make me feel bad about having to work, although there are a few SAHMs who have tried. My kids are okay with me working, they've never known anything else. I can't personally imagine making choices that would make me completely financially dependent on someone else. That would be scary to me.

For the record, happiness is a choice. I make a choice, daily, to be happy. And I am.
 

StandUpChuck

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Well, those women certainly don't speak for me. We visited a relative on her 90th birthday, and I asked her what part of her life would she love to live again. It got me to thinking about where I am in my life, and there's no question that if I make it to 90 and look back, *these* will be the years I would most want to live again. I'm not suppose to be fullfilled without a career right now. I'm suppose to feel like I'm not contributing. I guess I'm suppose to feel bored or fed up with being home. But I feel none of those things. I've had my share of hardships (who hasn't?), but this is the life I want, and I do love it.

Yet the paradox: Two recent studies reveal that a majority of American women are finding the holy grail of happiness more elusive. Researchers were startled to find that women now report less happiness than in the early 1970s; and where they once indicated greater levels of happiness and life satisfaction than men, that's now reversed.

Read more: The Happiness Quotient / Do high expectations and a plethora of choices make modern women miserable?

I think no one really knows what to think any more. If a man wants his wife to stay home with the kids, he's a sexist jerk. If a woman wants to stay home, she's lazy. If a man wants to stay home, he's a pansy. If a woman wants to work and have kids, she's selfish. Enough already.

People are reading too many BS articles and looking for the "holy grail" in other people's expectations. In the old days, people didn't sit around worrying about what made them happy. They just lived their lives.

Bottom line, I resent some stupid article telling me I'm not happy.
 

Catz Part Deux

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Just a guess but women being encouraged to do things, that don't really appeal to their inner nature, is a possibility.
Give me a ****ing break. I know it gratifies you internally to say these things, but in my case, I feel like the work I do is the work I was born to do. Women aren't inherently less suited to working, internally. :roll:
 

Bodhisattva

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A lot of modern women are pulling double duty now. They didn't break free of the domestic role. Instead they are now the 9-5 workers plus the domestic caretakers while a lot of men continue to coast along. So yeah, makes sense that men would be more happy... not only do they have a maid at home, but she also nets half the income which makes his life easier.

I don't think people in general are happier now than they were 30 years ago. The demands of modern life are more stressful than ever and it's becoming cost prohibitive for many to have a healthy family setup.
More men are stepping up and doing household duties and more child rearing than ever, so I would disagree with the maid and income comment. Plus, many women keep a portion of their income for themselves and only put in some to half, for isntance, into the families bills.

Regarding the stress of modern living, it is all the fault of the people that play that game. Move somewhere less expensive. Get one job. Have one car. Don't buy so much stuff. Save instead of going on vacations. There are a lot of things that people do that make their own lives more stressful when they could simply do less. Life is what you make it...
 

Johnny

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I can't speak for myself but my wife and I both work, both cook, share watching the kids IAW our schedules and both clean the house.

I'm pretty sure most families these days are the same.

Just my personal opinion of both are working and a guy let's the wife do everything around the house that's wrong.
 

Harry Guerrilla

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Give me a ****ing break. I know it gratifies you internally to say these things, but in my case, I feel like the work I do is the work I was born to do. Women aren't inherently less suited to working, internally. :roll:
That's not what I said at all.

Some people put pressure on a woman (see woman's lib or SAHM movements) to do things, that she may not want to do.
It is up to each woman, individually to decide that.
 

Bodhisattva

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Give me a ****ing break. I know it gratifies you internally to say these things, but in my case, I feel like the work I do is the work I was born to do. Women aren't inherently less suited to working, internally. :roll:
Agreed. There are all sorts on both sides of the sex... many men are slobs and unmotivated slackers who can't take care of themselves let alone a family. Women balance out society in a very healthy way now, and IMO it is just getting better and better.
 
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