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Who On the Site Would You Elect US President?

Arts&Sciences

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If you had to pick one member of this site to nominate to be the President of the United States, who would it be? Once I get a high enough number of nominations in these, the "primaries", I will make a final election. I did this on another site but got very low voter turnout. :smile: Campaign ads are also welcome. Let the "election" begin.
 

128shot

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I'm totally presidential material :cool:
 

Arts&Sciences

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I'm Arts&Sciences... and I guess this message is okay:

Are you tired of politicians with years of experience and education? Vote for a 20-year-old who has never had a job. He's not even in college- but he has a lot of useless knowledge about music lyrics and baseball statistics. Vote for somebody who's... well, uh... different. Vote Arts&Sciences for President in '05.
 

SKILMATIC

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I dont know if people are ready for my common sense. However, I already have the plan that would fix all of our problems. I have already posted it in another thread but if you want I can post it again.

I would be a fair president I would do away with the electoral college and truly make it gov by the people for the people. Thats just one thing what I would do.
 

Arts&Sciences

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I'm Arts&Sciences, and I copied this mock ad idea from a guy on another site:

Are you tired of extremism in politics? Do you want someone who is so middle-of-the-road that you can't figure out how to label him? Vote for centrism and boring, slow reform. Vote Arts&Sciences for President in 05'.

(This ad was free and was paid for by the non-existent "Committee to Elect Arts&Sciences")
 

Arts&Sciences

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In all seriousness, SKILMATIC, by all means post your solutions. (Abandoning seriousness here) Has my brilliant ad campaign won you over yet?
 

Arts&Sciences

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My name is Arts&Sciences, and I approve of boring you with this message:

In times like these, America needs a politically non-descript leader to bring unity. America needs someone who will unite us all... in falling asleep reading his campaign ads. America needs someone like Arts&Sciences. (Play upbeat music here.) "My personal guarantee to you is that I'll make Al Gore seem like a colorful character".
 

Billo_Really

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That's a tough one. Right off the bat I can think of several that would do a pretty good job as well as earning my trust and respect:
  • ban.the.electoral.college - He has shown he has the intelligence and enthusiasum to do the job.
  • Vauge - He has shown tolerance for both sides of the fence.
  • teacher - No one can question his dedication.
  • 26X Champs - He has the common sense and moral character that is needed for a post-Bush presidency.
  • Kelzie - Just so I can throw this in her face later.
But if I had to pick one person who would be the best President from our group, it would be
  • Simon W. Moon - Even though he is a conservative, and he doesn't really care for my comments [actually, with the exception of ban, no one on the list really cares for my comments, although teacher does see their entertainment value], Simon has shown his ability to analyze any issue without harboring a pre-disposition of the outcome. Far too many people make up their minds first, then go looking for the evidence to support their conclusion. That is not logical deductive reasoning. Simon has the whole package.
 

teacher

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Read my lips:

Promise number one. I'll make Canuck my vice-president. He's got the brains of Quaile and the fervor of Gore. He'll stand beside me at all my speeches. I'll open a Department of Rim Shots. (We got any drummers on this site?)

Chief of Staff: cnredd.
Sec of State: Ayran Imperium.
Sec of Defense: This one should be obvious. Rummy will be the deputy secdef.
Attorney General: jallman
Surgeon General: Naughty nurse. (Unlimited body cavity search powers).
Head of homeland security: Lucidthots. Why change the status quo here.
Playing the role of Monica Lewinski: Apply in person at the oval office. Must have bass boat, trailer, and be willing to cut bait. Send picture of boat.
Press Sec: 26x world champs. He can lie without blinking.
Ambassador to France: Galenrox. (They love submissive gay catchers over there). Shame this isn't in the basement.
Chief of public relations and circular logic and bullshit links and walking flypaper and my personal food taster: The one, the only, The Honerable Billo. (More duties for him to come).
Trojan? Not a damn thing. Matter of fact you'll be audited every year forever. Start typing my name right and I'll reconsider.

Debates will be scored: 1/3 debate. 1/3 smack off. 1/3 ultimate fighting cage match.

I like this thread. Too bad it's not in the basement. How about it Arts & Sciences? That will kick it up a notch. Down there we can call our opponents names and mock their family.

Don't think I don't have an ace in the hole. I bring something to the oval office no one else can.

............to be continued...........
 

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Arts&Sciences

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Sorry, I'm just not the "basement" type. Now for another campaign ad... (Just kidding, for the moment).
 

teacher

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Billo_Really said:
although teacher does see their entertainment value],[/I]
You know Billo, I never noticed that. I don't recall seeing any kudos to your humor or most excellent powerpoint posts. I retract my statements about Liberals not having a sense of humor. I guess human nature is that most people can't take a joke at their expense. This does not mean I think liberal have a sense-o-humor. You are the only leftie I can think of that can and does venture into the higher humor level of self-deprecation. Just means that Righties are just as uptight and self-important as lefties on this topic.

Congrats Billo. I think this may be the first topic on this site that my mind has been changed on. You are as intelligent as you are handsome. (Huh?) S.O.O.T.U.D.O.B. Ni dei ziji shuo. loashi zuo shenma? Deng yi deng.

This calls for a top ten in the near future.

Didn't I once do a TT on why I can't bring myself to hate you? Yes.

Or are you smart enough to attempt to keep me from launching a campaign of inescapable assult of logic and smack on your idealogy and views with patronization? Oh oh. Time for mind games? If you really think you know PM me.

Let me know one time when you got a few minutes. I got some powerpoint questions. If I could gain that skill of yours the options for the unleashing of my dementia are nigh endless. PM me.
 

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Arts&Sciences

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If I'm elected President, I promise that I'll throw a forkball when I throw out the opening pitch. You should vote for me for that alone.
 

teacher

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Policy statement. Subject. I am not a insider.


teacher said:
You know Billo, I never noticed that. I don't recall seeing any kudos to your humor or most excellent powerpoint posts.
I retract my statements about Liberals not having a sense of humor.
Poor wording. Should read, Liberals are not the only ones who can't take a friggin joke at their expense. Liberals can't give or take a joke about their side. Many, not all, Republicans can't take a joke on themselves, some fewer more can make jokes about themselves. The proof is in this thread. How many liberals do you see dissing themselves. Far less than Conservatives use self-deprecating humor. cnredd uses it well. I should go there more. Yes.

Top ten easy smacks on Republicans.

10.All for freedom of religion. Now pray in school you heathens.
9.Ashcroft covered the exposed breast of the lady justice statue. He probably bones his wife with his socks on.
8.Separation of Church and state. Except for gay issues. You people are going to hell.
7.One name: Navypride.
6.They don't give citizenship to monkeys.
5.They recognize France as a nation. (Proper term is gay ass sounding, beret wearing, cheese drinking, hairy womened, wine snobbed, UN sanction breaking, defintion of irony displaying by calling US arrogant, can't stop riots in their country, surrender frogs.) (medium version). Short version: France.
4.Fiscal reponsability touting. Except when they have control. Let's run up the debt. We'll all be dead before it affects us.
3.The libs stick it to the rich; we stick it to the poor. You're welcome for screwing you coming and going.
2.We were the last in a long line of ineptness in the Katrina situation. Hey George, you control the military. Airborne could have been there in, 4 hours plus the plane trip from Carolina. Can't dial the phone?

And the number one easy smack on Republicans,

1.Hillary just might win.

Now I know why I don't TT Republicans as much.

They're just sad, not funny.

Excuse the sub par TT. At least it's not in the TT thread.

Help me out here cnredd. Subject. Illeagle immigration is bad. Except for Mexicans whose vote we prostitute ourselves for at the expense of security. It's not easy. Try it. Kinda opens your eyes. We have control of the government, we could pass very strict measures that could tighten the border 100%. Find ten jokes in that.

Top ten reasons Republicans don't secure our borders.

Ah, I got some. Once you get over the shock of reality, (takes a minute), the sadness passes.

There you go, elect me, I think out loud.
 

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teacher

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Arts&Sciences said:
If I'm elected President, I promise that I'll throw a forkball when I throw out the opening pitch. You should vote for me for that alone.
I'll bean the batter then tackle him on his way to first base. Screaming, "you want some of that France"?

I'll invite foreign leaders like Kim Juog-ill to the white house. During a photo shoot in the Rose garden I'll kick their ass, give them wedgies, and make them hit themselves until they do it my way. Screaming, "you want some of that Iran.

I'll charge Europe for all the years we protected them from the reds and put ALL the cash into missile defense and F-22's.

I'll pardon criminals then say "psych".

I'll have a torrid affair with Hillary to show the meaning of sacrificing for your country.

I'll waive Vague's taxes.



I'd just concede now Arts.
 

cnredd

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teacher said:
Help me out here cnredd. Subject. Illeagle immigration is bad. Except for Mexicans whose vote we prostitute ourselves for at the expense of security. It's not easy. Try it. Kinda opens your eyes. We have control of the government, we could pass very strict measures that could tighten the border 100%. Find ten jokes in that.
It's a fine compliment to get "called out" as a challenge...

I shall not disappoint...

From Chong's jailcell...The top ten reasons Republicans won't stop illegal immigration at the Mexican border...

10) Dennis Hastert will never know it, but damn!...His shoes are spotless!
9) You think Rush could get his supply from a non-Latino maid?
8) Prevent second-basemen shortage
7) Navy Pride would have to go back to hating just "blacks"
6) Southwest states were starting to show a "lack of preventable diseases"
5) White hands ripen oranges too quickly
4) Hotels tried Irish immigrants...didn't like potatos left on pillow
3) Let's be honest...keeping Canadians out much more important
2) 10 million illegal Mexicans...Extra houses needed?...4

And the number one reason Republicans won't stop illegal immigration at the Mexican border...

1) Administration controlled by "Big Trinkets"
 

Arts&Sciences

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The following is a negative ad against Arts&Sciences:

(Play dramatic music here.)

Narrator: Arts&Sciences claims to know a lot about music.
Fact: He likes songs by Hilary Duff.

Narrator: Arts&Sciences claims to know a lot about baseball.
Fact: No one has replied to his only thread about baseball. He even has to promote his own threads just to get responses.

Narrator: Arts&Sciences- the wrong choice in 2005.

(Paid for by "The Committee to Elect Somebody Else")
 

SKILMATIC

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Billo_Really said:
That's a tough one. Right off the bat I can think of several that would do a pretty good job as well as earning my trust and respect:
  • ban.the.electoral.college - He has shown he has the intelligence and enthusiasum to do the job.
  • Vauge - He has shown tolerance for both sides of the fence.
  • teacher - No one can question his dedication.
  • 26X Champs - He has the common sense and moral character that is needed for a post-Bush presidency.
  • Kelzie - Just so I can throw this in her face later.
But if I had to pick one person who would be the best President from our group, it would be
  • Simon W. Moon - Even though he is a conservative, and he doesn't really care for my comments [actually, with the exception of ban, no one on the list really cares for my comments, although teacher does see their entertainment value], Simon has shown his ability to analyze any issue without harboring a pre-disposition of the outcome. Far too many people make up their minds first, then go looking for the evidence to support their conclusion. That is not logical deductive reasoning. Simon has the whole package.
How dare you forget that I care about your comments! :lol:
 

hiker

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Arts&Sciences said:
If you had to pick one member of this site to nominate to be the President of the United States, who would it be? Once I get a high enough number of nominations in these, the "primaries", I will make a final election. I did this on another site but got very low voter turnout. :smile: Campaign ads are also welcome. Let the "election" begin.
I wouldn't want the job. But if I had to pick, I would say either Jallman or Utah Bill. Jallman is a very dignified, intelligent person I have a lot of respect for, whether I agree with him or not. And Bill seems to post in the same threads I do and he agrees with me a lot, so we must be on the same page.
 

Kelzie

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Billo_Really said:
That's a tough one. Right off the bat I can think of several that would do a pretty good job as well as earning my trust and respect:
  • ban.the.electoral.college - He has shown he has the intelligence and enthusiasum to do the job.
  • Vauge - He has shown tolerance for both sides of the fence.
  • teacher - No one can question his dedication.
  • 26X Champs - He has the common sense and moral character that is needed for a post-Bush presidency.
  • Kelzie - Just so I can throw this in her face later.
But if I had to pick one person who would be the best President from our group, it would be
  • Simon W. Moon - Even though he is a conservative, and he doesn't really care for my comments [actually, with the exception of ban, no one on the list really cares for my comments, although teacher does see their entertainment value], Simon has shown his ability to analyze any issue without harboring a pre-disposition of the outcome. Far too many people make up their minds first, then go looking for the evidence to support their conclusion. That is not logical deductive reasoning. Simon has the whole package.
Aww...Billo. I think your comments are...interesting.
 

Arts&Sciences

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Which of my ads has been the most effective so far? :smile:
 

Billo_Really

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Originally posted by Kelzie:
Aww...Billo. I think your comments are...interesting.
Yes, but are they reasonable? Questions or Comments?
 

Billo_Really

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Originally posted by SKILMATIC:
How dare you forget that I care about your comments!
Isn't it enough that I pay omage to your infinite wisdom with every post (see quote under avatar)?
 
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