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ManOfTrueTruth said:
I have to disagree. I don't think you are being honest with yourself. Lust and love are two different things. In order to maintain love you must sometimes resist lust. Anybody who is married and says that they have never been tempted, is lying. The question lies in how you deal and resist temptation, because sex, is only temporary and does not offer the promise of long term relationship and happiness. Temptation is everywhere and anybody can be tempted. The truth, heart and soul is forever while physical appearances, perception, deception and material things are only temporary. It is only the truth, heart and soul which can give you happiness in the long term.

Think what you like. No one said you had to have the same views as me. But I think it's quite presumptuous of you to say that I'm not being honest with myself when you don't know anything about me OR my marriage. I can very honestly say that I have not encountered a single person in the past three years that has attracted me enough for me to want to sleep with them, other than my husband, of course. And even if I had? I'd never act on it. My husband and I have a good life together, and I wouldn't trade it for anything that I can think of right now. Now, if Kasey Kahne asked me to marry him, I might have to rethink that, but seeing as how that'll never happen, I think I'm pretty safe in saying that I have no temptations. Mainly because I don't even put myself into situations where temptation might arise.

Regardless.....think what you want. I was merely sharing what my experiences have been; never said that everyone else had to think the exact same way.
 
kal-el said:
I disagree Stace. Why should we stay faithful to 1 person, when there are billions populating our planet? Why should we just engage in sexual activity with just 1 because I guess "luck" had it that we met them first, while others could very well be more compatible then them? But on the other hand, if 2 people are perfectly happy with eachother, and don't need anyything/anyone else, it's fine if they stay faithful, if they BOTH want it that way. But my take it that life is so short, we only go around once, we might not get a second chance, so take what comes your way.

Then don't get married, or marry someone that doesn't have a problem with having an open relationship, in which you're both free to pursue other sexual encounters. I think though, that unless you agree on an open marriage, if you're going to marry someone and commit yourself to that person, then you need to do so fully. Have I seen guys that I wouldn't mind sleeping with? Sure. Would I ever act on that? Nope, because I love my husband, love what we have together, and I'd never intentionally do anything to screw that up. I'd leave him before I'd sleep with someone else. Simple as that. I just don't have it in me to hurt someone like that.
 
Stace said:
Then don't get married, or marry someone that doesn't have a problem with having an open relationship, in which you're both free to pursue other sexual encounters. I think though, that unless you agree on an open marriage, if you're going to marry someone and commit yourself to that person, then you need to do so fully. Have I seen guys that I wouldn't mind sleeping with? Sure. Would I ever act on that? Nope, because I love my husband, love what we have together, and I'd never intentionally do anything to screw that up. I'd leave him before I'd sleep with someone else. Simple as that. I just don't have it in me to hurt someone like that.

I do not believe in marriage at all right now. I think it is a stupid, ancient ritual, nothing more than a public proclamation of ownership. How can 2 people sign a piece of paper, meant to unite 2 living organisms? People do change, it's a fact of life, and who's to say that we are gonna still love someone 20 or 30 years down the road?
 
kal-el said:
I do not believe in marriage at all right now. I think it is a stupid, ancient ritual, nothing more than a public proclamation of ownership. How can 2 people sign a piece of paper, meant to unite 2 living organisms? People do change, it's a fact of life, and who's to say that we are gonna still love someone 20 or 30 years down the road?


Hey, that's cool, whatever works for you. You're absolutely right, people do change....I know that both my husband and myself have changed drastically in the three years we've been together, but I think our changes have simply helped us to complement each other even more. I can't guarantee that our changes will always mesh, but if things ever get too bad between us, there's always divorce. Of course, that'd be a last resort for me, especially with a child to think about now, but I certainly wouldn't keep myself in an unhappy relationship. I do recognize that life is too short to live it unhappy.
 
Stace said:
Hey, that's cool, whatever works for you. You're absolutely right, people do change....I know that both my husband and myself have changed drastically in the three years we've been together, but I think our changes have simply helped us to complement each other even more. I can't guarantee that our changes will always mesh, but if things ever get too bad between us, there's always divorce. Of course, that'd be a last resort for me, especially with a child to think about now, but I certainly wouldn't keep myself in an unhappy relationship. I do recognize that life is too short to live it unhappy.

Yep, life is too short, this could be the only life we may have. It's fine that couples engage in marriage, but if/when the time comes to pass that they no longer get along with oneanother, they shouldn't stay together, especially for the sake of a child, as a child brought up in a household of anger and resentment is NOT the proper environment a child should be brought up in.
 
kal-el said:
Yep, life is too short, this could be the only life we may have. It's fine that couples engage in marriage, but if/when the time comes to pass that they no longer get along with oneanother, they shouldn't stay together, especially for the sake of a child, as a child brought up in a household of anger and resentment is NOT the proper environment a child should be brought up in.

Boy, don't I know the truth of that!! I want my children to grow up with their father, but if things don't work out with us, I won't stick around just because of that. That's why there's that nifty thing called joint custody. :mrgreen:
 
I actually think people should try to stay together for the sake of the child. It's about sacrificing for a greater cause. I don't know why in our modern society, nobody seems to realize what this concept means...
 
George_Washington said:
I actually think people should try to stay together for the sake of the child. It's about sacrificing for a greater cause. I don't know why in our modern society, nobody seems to realize what this concept means...

Probably because staying together "for the sake of the child" is NOT a healthy environment for the child. You think I would have been better off if my mother had stayed with my father, who hardly ever paid attention to me as it was, and barely managed to keep himself out of jail while they were married? After the divorce, my father moved just about as far away as he could from us. I rarely ever heard from him, unless I/my mom initiated the contact first. He's a druggie that's been in and out of jail over the past nearly 20 years. You really think that would have been healthy for me had he stuck around? And then, mom really felt bad about me and my brother not having a dad, so she stayed with our stepfather for a lot longer than she should have, so we COULD have a dad. Think it was so great for us to get beat around every day for stupid things, such as not washing the dishes well enough to suit his standards, or for no reason at all? Hardly. You think it's really healthy for a child to be in an environment where their parents can't stand each other and argue all of the time? No. It is NOT healthy for a child to be around so much animosity. Sorry, George, but sometimes, it really IS in the best interests of the child for the parents to go their separate ways.
 
Wow, I'm flattered. I've been gone ages and still I get a mention from the delightful Kelzie. Thanks Kelzie!! I've always thought you were a smart cookie and now you've proved it!!;) Though I'm a bit perturbed you think of me as a liberal! Why, that would be far too right wing a position for me!!!

Most of the people I can name maybe don't troll these boards any longer: I loved anomaly, contrarion, Fried Rice (so charming!!), JustineCredible, but glad to see my all time fave Naughty Nurse is stil here - that guy is smart, funny and just plain adorable.

I also like ludadhai - he probably thinks I hated him, but I loved him. He bites so easily every single time :lol:

Pacridge the elk lover, mmmm
Vaugue - you're one of the few people who actually listens to others and is prepared to alter you point of view if you think your opponent may just be talking a grain of sense
Galenrox - my toyboy (I'll eat you for breakfast one day!)
And big, horny, voice of reason, hunk of sex porn star Fantasea - I'd have your babies (well I'd probably abort them actually, but you get the picture:3oops: )
 
Urethra Franklin said:
Wow, I'm flattered. I've been gone ages and still I get a mention from the delightful Kelzie. Thanks Kelzie!! I've always thought you were a smart cookie and now you've proved it!!;) Though I'm a bit perturbed you think of me as a liberal! Why, that would be far too right wing a position for me!!!

Most of the people I can name maybe don't troll these boards any longer: I loved anomaly, contrarion, Fried Rice (so charming!!), JustineCredible, but glad to see my all time fave Naughty Nurse is stil here - that guy is smart, funny and just plain adorable.

I also like ludadhai - he probably thinks I hated him, but I loved him. He bites so easily every single time :lol:

Pacridge the elk lover, mmmm
Vaugue - you're one of the few people who actually listens to others and is prepared to alter you point of view if you think your opponent may just be talking a grain of sense
Galenrox - my toyboy (I'll eat you for breakfast one day!)
And big, horny, voice of reason, hunk of sex porn star Fantasea - I'd have your babies (well I'd probably abort them actually, but you get the picture:3oops: )

It was all in the hopes of drawing you back. ;) Justine's started posting again too. Looks like my plan worked....
 
Welcome back UF!
 
Urethra Franklin said:
...Though I'm a bit perturbed you think of me as a liberal! Why, that would be far too right wing a position for me!!!
You go! :cool:
 
Stace said:
Probably because staying together "for the sake of the child" is NOT a healthy environment for the child. You think I would have been better off if my mother had stayed with my father, who hardly ever paid attention to me as it was, and barely managed to keep himself out of jail while they were married? After the divorce, my father moved just about as far away as he could from us. I rarely ever heard from him, unless I/my mom initiated the contact first. He's a druggie that's been in and out of jail over the past nearly 20 years. You really think that would have been healthy for me had he stuck around? And then, mom really felt bad about me and my brother not having a dad, so she stayed with our stepfather for a lot longer than she should have, so we COULD have a dad. Think it was so great for us to get beat around every day for stupid things, such as not washing the dishes well enough to suit his standards, or for no reason at all? Hardly. You think it's really healthy for a child to be in an environment where their parents can't stand each other and argue all of the time? No. It is NOT healthy for a child to be around so much animosity. Sorry, George, but sometimes, it really IS in the best interests of the child for the parents to go their separate ways.


Well, if a parent is obviously physically abusive than obviously they should split. I was referring to just basic domestic matters. Couples nowadays let the most silly things cause them to break up.
 
Stace said:
Probably because staying together "for the sake of the child" is NOT a healthy environment for the child. You think I would have been better off if my mother had stayed with my father, who hardly ever paid attention to me as it was, and barely managed to keep himself out of jail while they were married? After the divorce, my father moved just about as far away as he could from us. I rarely ever heard from him, unless I/my mom initiated the contact first. He's a druggie that's been in and out of jail over the past nearly 20 years. You really think that would have been healthy for me had he stuck around? And then, mom really felt bad about me and my brother not having a dad, so she stayed with our stepfather for a lot longer than she should have, so we COULD have a dad. Think it was so great for us to get beat around every day for stupid things, such as not washing the dishes well enough to suit his standards, or for no reason at all? Hardly. You think it's really healthy for a child to be in an environment where their parents can't stand each other and argue all of the time? No. It is NOT healthy for a child to be around so much animosity. Sorry, George, but sometimes, it really IS in the best interests of the child for the parents to go their separate ways.

Stace, I was thinking and I'm very sorry if I was insensitive to your feelings. I had no idea that your father and stepfather treated you that way. I realize it must have been hard for you to endure. I under no means think that women should stay in an abusive relationship. In fact, I think I've said before that if a spouse cheats or abuses you, you have every right to get a divorce.
 
George_Washington said:
Stace, I was thinking and I'm very sorry if I was insensitive to your feelings. I had no idea that your father and stepfather treated you that way. I realize it must have been hard for you to endure. I under no means think that women should stay in an abusive relationship. In fact, I think I've said before that if a spouse cheats or abuses you, you have every right to get a divorce.

:lol: Shut up boy. Nobody thinks you meant that.
 
kal-el said:
How can 2 people sign a piece of paper, meant to unite 2 living organisms?

Actually, I think you've hit the heart of the problem right here. People look at marriage as just being between two people. A few people think it's between two people and their children-- though that view seems to be increasingly rare.

Marriage is an alliance between two families, as the newlyweds become members of each other's family. As important as romantic love is, it is only part of what marriage represents.

kal-el said:
People do change, it's a fact of life, and who's to say that we are gonna still love someone 20 or 30 years down the road?

How can we say that we will love our children in twenty or thirty years? Our parents? Our brothers and sisters?

We cannot know whether or not we will still love them-- but we can know that whether or not we still love them, we are still obligated to them.

I think you're absolutely right to avoid making such commitments until you're willing to live up to them. People get married too casually and too young, and for the wrong reasons, and it leads to tragic numbers of divorces and broken homes.

George_Washington said:
I actually think people should try to stay together for the sake of the child. It's about sacrificing for a greater cause. I don't know why in our modern society, nobody seems to realize what this concept means...
Stace said:
You think I would have been better off if my mother had stayed with my father... ? And then, mom ... stayed with our stepfather for a lot longer than she should have, so we COULD have a dad.

Divorce may be an abomination, but I think the problem with saying "stay together for the sake of the kids" is that it blames the person who initiates the divorce-- instead of the person who broke their marriage vows in the first place.

Getting married to another person means making them a part of your family; it's as serious as adopting a child or naming someone your blood-brother. Breaking the bond of marriage should be treated just as seriously as breaking the bond of kinship between parent and child or between siblings-- it is possible, but it shouldn't be done for anything less than a grave betrayal.
 
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Korimyr the Rat said:
I think you're absolutely right to avoid making such commitments until you're willing to live up to them. People get married too casually and too young, and for the wrong reasons, and it leads to tragic numbers of divorces and broken homes.

I know of a couple friends that they're little sister's are getting hitched. Before you commit to marriage, I would advise you get all the partying out of your system first. Cause in the teen years is too young to be getting married, cause you know when they turn 21, they'll want to go to all the clubs and bars, and that isn't always ideal for the other half.
 
I'm Jerry's favorite member. He talks about me all the time now.
 
George_Washington said:
I actually think people should try to stay together for the sake of the child. It's about sacrificing for a greater cause. I don't know why in our modern society, nobody seems to realize what this concept means...

You should talk to your avatar then. Mr. Cruise certainly has no idea of what the concept means.
 
My favorite members are hipster, jfuh, kidrocks and champs. They put a smile on my face. :2razz:
 
KCConservative said:
My favorite members are hipster, jfuh, kidrocks and champs. They put a smile on my face. :2razz:

So KC didn't include aps on his list of favorites. Hmmmmmmmmm (I think that means he likes me even more than he used to. Can you blame him? ;).)
 
aps said:
So KC didn't include aps on his list of favorites. Hmmmmmmmmm (I think that means he likes me even more than he used to. Can you blame him? ;).)

You're o.k in my book kid, don't sweat it!;)
 
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